Christmas Countdown: 5 A.M.

5 o’clock! A.M. or P.M.? It makes a lot of difference around Christmas. Michael Bethel coos sweetly in “Harmattan Christmas” despite the travel plans: Our bags are packed We were up by five. A sleepy, yet hopeful rendition.

Randy Newman’s “Christmas in Cape Town” is an argument against Apartheid more than a seasonal salute. But in his bluesy rock he tells his girl, You know my little brother, babe, Well, he works out at the diamond mine; I drove him out there at five this mornin’ past the Blacks who were hoping for work but get none. Will the spirit survive?

The kids (well, Andy & The Odd Socks) have another POV: It’s 5am and Dad’s still snoring (Come on, wake up!) Let’s get out of bed. “We’re All Together (At Christmas Time” is hyperactive kid song that sings.

Or the significant other under an Xmas fever? You pulled me out of bed at
Five am Telling me it’s snowing On Christmas begins The Limbo Motel’s “Christmas Morning.” I totally get that.

What makes the ultimate “Christmas Girl“? She Get’s in line by 5 AM a week before the sales begin, according to the retro pop of The Easy Button. Bopping fun.

Then there’s the perpetual boyfriend: Santa gon’ be leaving at 5 a.m.; Baby, I can pull up, it don’t matter what time it is. Rap from Why Don’t We offers it all to be “With You This Christmas.”

Despite announcing It’s five in the morning, the kids are awake–It’s Christmas for heaven’s sake! Amy Grant’s “Christmas for You and Me” is low, slow country twaddle. Try to stay awake.

Mooseknuckle definitely thinks this is too early: Christmas morning 5 am, Wanna go to bed again… “Mooseknuckle Christmas” is about being without–happiness, joy, booze. This isn’t da blooz, but it rocks that way.

Christmas Countdown: 6 okay

Sharks’ Teeth is here to synthesize my realties: Brain is the source of self And Mars is the source of power; I long, Long to exalt you now–You six dimensional, Six minerals. “The Christmas on Christmas” is psychedelic light rock to expand your eyes.

Millennials get confused easily: “How many times can we put the lights on the tree? Watching Gremlins when it’s 6 degrees” Lovers Turn to Monsters want you to know in their gentle garage wandering “It’s Weird to Think There’ll Always be a Christmas Probably.” Have some fun, guys.

Cold enough? Does that “Snowflake” have Six sides stab through me like ice picks? Wew Lads Tbh have the experimental pop music answers for you. Holy metaphorical breakup, Santa!

Meghan Trainor counts on her “Naughty List” to pop about how unfair it is. But it just goes to And six, I’m so tired of this That’s my Christmas list. Playful dance nonsense.

Deepa Sashadri also limits her list of “Resolutions” to 6 [Gonna work harder and save up some money]. Bouncy pop for not taking it all too seriously. So there.

Preaching to the Floridians, BKj-52 & Spechouse rap “Best Time of the Year” to the unaware [But you in the snow with ya six kids Smashin’ through the road in ya town or ya district (Uh)] to get into the spirit. Uplifting.

Not trying to one-up on the baby savior, but does “Gold, Frankicense, and Myrrth” compare with jewelry, instruments, and Anna’s best was cute A six-foot ted, called Ted. The Mistletoe Tappers jazz up ukulele folk with carnival music, hyper pop, and silent movie chase music.

Christmas Countdown: 6 mad

Robert Boog has a less-than-impressive rap woe, that is born on Christmas Day. As an “Xmas Baby” no one celebrates him much, in fact it’s looking dismal: So I jog six blocks to my apartment Landlord lookin’ at me like he want the rent, Yank open the door and what a surprise–they’re all there to sing Happy Birthday! Yea!

Die Roten Rosen reggae juice up “Jingle Bells” just a BLUE ALERT bit, adding how I’m looking for a girl, I think you know the kind, The kind that makes you come six times by the end of your sleigh ride. Another Christmas miracle!

In the same rut, xKja slyly raps “All I Really Want,” which he feels he deserves since Been practicing these moves to use on you In different ways Put you in 6 positions baby… and BLUE ALERT.

The “Reason for the Season” is DCTalk’s reason to rap: The first six letters drop the why’s–Yo! c-h-r to the i-s-t. Old school (old schoolhouse rocks?) rap seems so juvenile these days. Learn!

Shy Boyz get BLUE ALERT righteous in “Master of Christmas.” See, that Santa/Jesus confusion is for the fools. He’s coming home swinging low In his chariot, six-winged seraphim karaoke Holy! Holy! Holy! they rap ironically. Wild words in this one, fellas.

Christmas Countdown: 6 packs and more

The perfect man is fit and trim. Like when The Big Red guy’s cuttin’ back So he can fit down my chimney stack–Yeah, “Santa’s Got a Six Pack.” Mmm, he’s all that and a bag of gifts. Fine girl rockabilly from Ciera MacKenzie.

The perfect woman brings the six pack And 2 bottles a wine when she drops by. Galactic Junkrod recounts the time “Mary Christmas” (Mrs. Santa?) visited a dumped dupe for a few rounds of holiday cheer. Double entendres ensue. And a version of rockabilly.

Like progressives on the left side 3 drinks in. 6 shots deep; It’s nearly cleared out for the night, soul chants White Lucy from a BLUE ALERT dark place–emotionally and dive-bar-istically. “Xmas on the West Side” is a plea to get back together. Don’t quit your day job.

When “It’s Christmas Time Again” Yay Raven’s family gathers and–ha ha–patience is tested. Smooth R+B celebrates these oddballs, including when the eggnog got spiked And grandpa drinks too much And he drank 6 cups And he drives us round the bend. Don’t let him drive!

Shoe finds a bottle by a tree, so I drank a glass or maybe eight to celebrate Santa(?)’s gift to him. This retro rock with pop country teetering in claims he’s “2 Drunk 4 Xmas.” Don’t argue with him.

We got tunes and chips, six cans of beer drawls out Tsmusicproject. In lieu of celebration, this dearth of Xmas materials allows them to appreciate their own love. With two step fervor they want to dance away these “Christmas Blues.”

Getting funny/funky, Beat Avenger delivers the disco in “White Clawsmas.” I have six small cans that are full of fun juice, he announces. Get his keys!

Larry Costa gets the band big together with the giggly “Six Cups of Egg Nog.” His Sinatra impression ain’t half bad, but the humor of over drinking is Deano all the way. Crassly uproarious.

Christmas Countdown: 6 feet deep (special snow edition)

Hard rock to express hard BLUE ALERT feelings: It breaks my heart to know that you don’t miss us; I’m buried under six feet of fucking snow. Derek Christiansen uses edible metaphors like “Egg Nog” to register his disgusted disappointment. Hardcore.

“6Ft Winter” by LEADR, Wundr., Alexander Tang is a terrifying prospect: 6ft winter… Santa’s not around… I know the sun will shine again. Gentle pop, just to add to the edginess.

Leaning towards a vacation, Ben Danaher (feat. Ashley Ray) But I can’t leave with 6 feet of snow on the ground. He soon realizes it’s “Just Like Christmas” to kick you when you’re down. Cowboy country.

Figurative about the snowfall, LYGA suffers rejection “Under the Snow.” I’ll stand outside ignoring the cold Shivering in memory Til I’m six feet under in snow. Pop doldrums.

A strange metal attitude fills Albert Fishing Trip’s macabre sprightly folk pop “Blanket of Snow.” All the world is filled with glee But oh no, no, not me Because grandma is dead now And grandpa is six feet under Covered in a blanket of snow…. Just a little mortal perspective for the holidays. And holy shit.

Christmas Countdown: 6 feet tall/deep BLUE ALERT

Catchy jazzy R+B from J Sun picks up where we left off with “Quarantine Christmas.” And if there’s no place to go Let it snow, let it snow As we gather in a row Under our 6 foot mistletoe. Cool.

Courtney J wants you to know “Christmas With My Boo” involves A handsome 6 foot chocolate treat. R+B siren song.

A 6 foot tall perfect woman with horns gives Nightlash the perfect song as she collects their souls in “Jingle Hellz… Devils All the Way.” Spoken word metal, ya?

Additional metal from Type O Negative berates the traditions as The stockings are hung, but who cares, Preserved for those no longer there–Six feet beneath me sleep. “Red Water (Christmas Mourning)” moans and pokes at your soul. Uh….

Wednesday 13 asks Santa for a freshly dug grave (6 feet deep) so that they can be “Buried by Christmas.” Angry metal at last. BLUE ALERT

Retribution from Brandon Cueto, who orders the reindeer to “Slay” that special awful someone with R+B anger. My gifts all go under the tree While you go under six feet.

Flying rap from Dax BLUE ALERT where “The Grinch Goes Viral.” Dealing with prejudice (Green Lives Matter!), he declares: I come from a place where they sleigh you Then artistically wrap you in boxes And the 6 foot drop you experience Is down the chimney when Santa drops it. Clever, but doesn’t end well.

With allusions to West Side and Batman, TyMe WArp raps the caution “Merry Christmas Ebenezer.” Don’t wind up 6 feet deep! Is this kid rap?

Vandals maxed out their cards shopping for you. And FROM you?? “Thanx for Nothing” is the punk retort. I hope you die Choking on your putrid pile of presents 6 feet high, is the actual thought to count. Fantastic BLUE ALERT song.

Off the South Pole Tarzan & the Beachwaiters present a BLUE ALERT tribute to Tarzanta “Riding Waves for XMAS.” Thrashing (NOT surf) rock looking for at least 6 foot waves. Carolbunga!

Christmas Countdown: 6 feet apart

Social distancing during the pandemic Xmases of 2020 (and even 2021) resulted in a loss of spirit, as heard in “I Miss You” by Crz N Go Sounds. Funky rap that points out: I can’t help but complain about this, Six feet apart It’s way too far—

“Lonely Christmas” can result from This time My imaginary art Is to hold you in my arms, But we’re still six feet apart. Milan Tausch slows the role to pop tragedian. (Hint: bring a translator.)

Louie Volta has a warning for Santa this “COVID Christmas“: So save your sleigh for another day And stay six feet away. Swinging lounge easy listening. But a downer.

Creature Comfort also recommends Santa comes when I’m asleep Six feet from me he shall keep. But in this “Christmas in Quarantine” he’s got a bubble (I’ve got you Under the mistletoe). Blues rock, but well planned.

Sarah Larkin, on the other hand, relates her family’s dysfunctions, so “I’ll be in Quarantine for Christmas” is not so bad, And I’ll enjoy Christmas beyond a 6 foot distance. Sassy Dixieland ukulele fun.

Jacob Restituto makes the best of it with electronic bopping in “Christmas in Quarantine.” I’m giving love without reason ‘Cause you know it’s the Season Six feet, but I still feel close to you. So much silver lining, i can’t see the grey clouds at all.

Making a statement, Pauli’s “Covid Christmas” pop sirens out better angels like: Unless it’s essential I’ll just put my mask on–Six feet apart showin’ kindness it ain’t that hard to do; Love’s in the air but you know Covid is too. She’s enlightened, and you can be, too. (Used to think Corona was just a beer.)

Taking a stand, The Liggetts claim nothing can’t stop the Nativity! in “Christmas in Quarantine.” Can we sing our neighbors carols; Leave some treats at their door If we promise to keep it Six feet or more? Electronic pop/rock for the whole family.

Taking minds off it, “What shall We Crochet on Christmas Day? (You can Knit Take Our Christmas Away)” by Declan McKenna smoothly folk improvises, while still keeping six feet from others.

Amateur ‘Holly Jolly’ parody “Covid Christmas” from Lossed Soul gets scary: Don′t forget your mask ya know and you better keep 6 feet–Oh, no its COVID tho in everyone you see Somebodys close to you then you’re six feet deep. Laughing? Crying? Bored?

More a freestyle scat than a rap, “Merry Christmas in the Land of the Free” by ‘James Watson, Sr.’ proclaims: Men and women are still standing under the mistletoe Blowing kisses six feet away and Wishing for the throwback days Of juliet and Romeo. Let’s see–Nose shining brightly and pumpkin spice coffee are mixed with still under the British colony and the virus took away many… Super weird.

Jazz lounge sexiness from Leslie Elaine in “Social Distance Christmas.” And when Santa comes on his sleigh (Hey!) He better stay six feet away! actually empowering.

Also a bit pissy, Abbey Scott sings “Quarantine Christmas” like a pop diva. Hanging up my stockings 6 feet a part and Setting all my presents 6 feet a part. Toilet paper for my Xmas list!

Upbeat pop and fun imagery lift up Emily Seibert’s “Quarantine Christmas.” Fight over a turkey with a six-foot pole Lose, go home and eat the cookie dough roll! Now i’m nostalgic for house arrest!

Christmas Countdown: 6 years/months

Loss at Christmas can be the worst, but Finlay Hatton begins to heal in the pounding garage pop of “In My Arms.”  I never thought That you’d go this soon, That you’d fade away In my arms, in my life–6 years since we took you home. Yeah, sad.

Adnam is asking for your indulgence in his uncertain rap: So give me a moment, give me a chance Give me six months to change your stance. “Christmas Type Beat” is a pasted together goose casserole. Still a bit of fun.

Buried somewhere in the electronic fun of Seen.’s “When You’re Back for Christmas” is a broken pop love song. Been 12 months since I saw you; Been 6 months since you texted me back; Is this what we’ve come to–? It does end asking for a kiss, so not quite yet defeated.

Also busted up, Liv Waters feels the cold snow brush across my face tonight; Reminds me how my heart felt 6 months ago when you left. “Ain’t Nothing Merry,” listeners. Pop puling. I mean this one will help you wallow.

Steven Curtis Chapman recounts the poverty of a family in “Christmas is All in the Heart.” After six months on the new job They’re still barely getting by… but the lesson the presentless boys learn will be passed to their country song families later. It doesn’t suck if it’s a song.

The Bilinda Butchers celebrate what matters as well with flashy girl band pop in “All My Friends,” as when they plan: This is my Christmas list Even if it’s six months ’til. You know, fun games about what probably won’t come to be.

Take six months to pay these bills, croons Charles Brown in “Christmas Comes But Once a Year.” This ragtime blues makes that allowance, as Christmas is just so wonderful otherwise. See if you agree while tapping your toe.

Mrs. Claus might disapprove, but when “Santa Writes Home” he’s an incurable romantic: Your hair is so curly and your skin is so soft , I’m gonna drop off these toys and take the next 6 months off, says his letter. Dan Sullivan told me so. In country song. Color me tickled.

Christmas Countdown: 6 weeks/days/hours

Libby Hammer addresses that confusing Australian “Christmas in the Summertime” with kidsong frenzy. I’m gonna spend six weeks In the swimming pool, she brags (but recommends sun screen).

Ariana Grande counts the days with her boo in “True Love.” After six days in your arms I got that tattoo on my heart. Singing about love in pop music means never having to say you’re sorry.

Kristin Wilson is sorry she fell in love–with a guy who left! Her “Christmas Wish” is to control time: I know New Years’ Eve is just six days away but I don’t want to start a new year feeling This way. Woo woo extra-slow pop,

Latitude matters: It doesn’t help the sun for six damn days it disappears And on the seventh day it drags us kickin’ into a New Year, declares “S.A.D. Xmas” according to Kevin Hansen with superior indie sentimentality.

Never too late to wish: Six days till Christmas And I don’t know what I need; I just know that when it gets here I want you there with me. Sultry R+B from Liz Elias in the form of “Six Days Till Christmas.” Loving.

Frida Hyvönen misses something else around the holidays. Six hours back across the ocean is something called “N.Y.” Her fortissimo lounge pop makes clear her Christmas wish. Let her have it. She’s good.

Christmas Countdown: 6 yo

“North of Heaven” is south of Hell warbles the vibrato of metal Gods Wisdom for their anti-carol. When I Was 6 Xmas Was Sixmas go the acid-washed hell-lyrics. Oh my.

From the parental POV Buck Owens gets old country bragging on his littlun’s Xmas wishlist, and i quote: Well, I’m-a gotta quit a-actin’ like a kid, I’m six years old and it’s time I did. Still, the lists asks for “One of Everything You Got.” You know, to make it easier on Santy.

Oh, When I was six years old All I wanted was Candy in the stocking, trills Johan Glidden in the precious pop of “Everything I Had.” See, he didn’t want much. Everything he wanted he already had. Like Jesus.

Also indoctrinated early is the young questioner in The Statler Brothers’ “Whose Birthday is Christmas?” It’s hard to understand in a big peoples’ land Especially if you’re six years old–is the cornball easy listening country rationale.

You want bourgeoise? Try Bette Midler barely making it though the ‘Home Alone 2’ love theme “Somewhere in My Memory.” Where in this memory? Memories of my childohood When I was 5, 6, and 7. On Christmas Day. A cry for help.

When does that Santa/Daddy betrayal hit? Is it so young?? Waiting for presents Christmas Eve, the main character in Kulina’s “Christmas Song” sees someone else stumble down to the Christmas tree. In his own words, his reward: I’m only six years old, I got nothing but coal. Somebody help this waif!

Perhaps the epiphany isn’t evil when you realize what Mama went through for ya. Now that I grew up, I’m the gift, ain’t that some–Every day it’s Christmas, when you’re Six, I’m too legit, raps 6LACk & Summer Walker in “Ghetto Christmas.” Heartfelt.

Julius Pe happy raps “Coming Home” to see the family. He’s so wiggly he claims, I feel like I am 6. Sweet! Too sweet! Stop with all the sweetness!