Some people like a getaway for the holidays. Remote cabin in the woods may not appeal like an oceanic runaround, though. Hence, the Christmas Cruise.
The kiddo version of this is from the musical ‘A Children’s Christmas Musical Journey.’ “The Hallelujah Christmas Cruise” by The Hallelujah Chorus is bouncy yet measured fun. Doesn’t cut loose, but doesn’t kneel and pray either.
Todd Sparks has the adult concept well in hand. Not only does “Christmas Cruise” simplify this transaction into leaving the winter behind and heading to the steel drum band, but also his dad-rock is as good as any boat band tribute. (By that i mean merely okay.)
Overplaying those steel drums comes Robert Akers asking with island pop for Santa to give him a “Cruise for Christmas.” No snow shoveling… margaritas instead! This stuff writes itself. (At least something should.)
Lawndry has a dream-like psychedelic little ditty in their “Christmas Cruise.” Lots of Jews (for the rhyme), but also a bit sinister. I like it.
Now a luge is a sporty device for racing. The Swiss came up with this craziness around 1900. So they got to name it. Unfortunate.
Egghead’s “Breakaway Luge” is a punk party of speed and danger. Zoom. To you.
Jimmy Fallon’s derivative homage “Doubles Luge” is over before you know it.
That’s all i got on luging. Let’s switch across to toboggans again. The Strawbs get psychedelic (a smidge) with “The River,” a shamanistic turn on suffering Winter’s harsh cold. Those kids grab their toboggans, but the river wouldn’t move. You see that.
Since we count by 10s, we measure by factors of 10.
The Killers return with their mod beat poetry in “A Great Big Sled.” Apart from loving this time of year, they remark: This snowman is shaping up to be an eight but not out of ten–possibly a shape referent. Alt-tacular.
Coy and Ashley try out their “Christmas Diss” with slurs like: Girlies all in her head thinking she’s 10 out of 10, but you built like the grinches. Take that! the ‘Jingle Bells’ karaoke and auto-tuning don’t help.
The highly entertaining Fralphie Jenkins whispers his altrock about spinning out on “Black Ice” and almost missing Christmas. But, This whole song was sponsored By On-Star: On-Star provides you With confidence; Right now it′s 10% off If you′re on the fence–Use the promo code ‘Fralphie J′… It’s the #1 thing this year In Santa′s Sleigh! What a twist ending! Ha!
Frankie and the Lake County Collective ask to “Let Me Hear Some Christmas Music” and to Turn the volume up to 10. Their bouncy pop country growls my kinda thinking, even if i can’t sing along to it.
Ludacris invokes ‘Fred Claus’ when he raps “Ludacrismas.” On his list are two gold front teeth And ten carat diamonds on a fat gold wreath. Acquire it.
Minhee Jones figures “Next Xmas” in case you’re keeping score will be Ten times better than the one before. R+B with a childish lilt. Fun.
David J Caron celebrates a Brit family-friendly rocking Xmas praising the “Star Angels” and the whole Santa thing: (Warp factor 10 Mr Blitzen)! Celebratory.
Howlingly off, Starbourne declares Christmas is “X Times (Better With You).” A mind melting psychedelic love declaration. Just, wow.
Pond makes it clear–with rocking experimental psychedelia–“All I Want for Xmas (Is a Tascam 388).” This antique studio sound mixing equipment will get you through times of no money where money won’t get you through times with no Tascam 388s.
Paul Revere and The Raiders did in 1967 what many pundits (esp. Garry Trudeau in his comic strip Doonesbury) tried: talking smack about the Vietnam war by encoding references to the Revolutionary War. “Their “Valley Forge” is about suffering young men who would rather go home (for the holidays) than understand what the war is for. Psychedelic pop.
Eric Rasmussen’s project Salon de la Guerre leaves the metronome clicking for his experimental “New York Christmas, 1945.” The vocals rattle under the ‘melody’ and seem to fight their way to raise awareness of– something. The Earth needs… something.
The seventh and last of The Beatles’ fan club Christmas records, known oddly enough as “The Beatles Christmas 1969 Record,” highlights how they do nothing together in the same room. A little this, a lots o’ that. Actually melody from Paul. Plug for Ringo’s movie. And lots of Ono.
Some numbers are beyond conceivable, like in “A Grinch’s Dream.” The Yev narrate this folk-pop plaintive to Santa about the eight million billion (or whatever) recipients Santa is expected to reach. But, who’s counting?
While we’re getting weird, let’s drop in a musical thing of questionable Christmas-osity… Skippa Jones and “Million Billion Trillion.” Puts me in a celebratory mood for all that warbling pop-music random ping ponging.
Skip back with me to flying angels and gods… How high do they fly for Xmas?
Bud Martin brings the spoken word approach to that old country cornpone number “Santa, Does Your Reindeer Fly to Heaven?” See, Mama wants some presents, and I don’t wanna drop ’em off at the cemetery….
Whoa, look out. The Jiggi Verandah Band gets reverently iconoclastic with “Daddy Flies with Santa Claus.” This almost country psychedelia chants into your subconscious with machine gun fire. Seek therapy, gang!