Styx doesn’t pull much Xmas weight, but if we go digging… “Just Fell In” is a wailing rock/blues period piece about paying the judicial price for robbing a 7-11 (at 8:15). Manic depression may not help him through the long nights, boy-o. Not up the river like he is. Though he is weaving you a basket for Christmas, so that’s like therapy then.
Month: February 2022
Christmas Countdown: 8:30
Andy Churchill is sitting in your driveway wondering if it’s just a “Party of One” for Christmas. Alt-rock be-grunges the misinterpreted invitation: You said 8:30 But nobody’s here. Still he wishes you’d join his party (of one), i guess because it’s a time of forgiveness. Or he’s that naive.
Christmas countdown: 847 (etc.) BLUE ALERT
From First to Last metal rages about how crappy Christmas is (Santa’s going to die!), but in their “Christmassacre” they do ask that you call Pete Went from Fall Out Boy and supply his phone digits, starting with 847…. (You better call him, he’s in Fall Out Boy, you better call him.) Is this a prank?
Christmas Countdown: 8:59
Colleen Rennison has a sad story about that week between Christmas and New Years (Thank God the clock just turned 8:59). She’s sorry and she wishes you could see that little one and she’s tried of drinking and–she misses you. But “Some Things You Lose.” And that’s an alt-country way to see it.
Christmas Countdown: 867 (etc.)
Call back to Tommy Tutone with his parody of his own song: “867-5309 / Jenny (Christmas Version!)” It pops; it’s fun; i dig it–so, listen up.
Christmas Countdown: 880 BLUE ALERT
Aaron Walter flashes many numbers about in his spoken “No Bonus Checks This Year,” a holiday non-tradition to be sure. 100,000 seems to be the salary of the guy announcing your bupkis bonus, except for that 50% pay cut someone thinks he got. But you’re 30 working in this box o’ hell. I notices, however, that this is Circuit City store 880 (which Is sucking big time) (and prolly not there anymore). So, swearing.
Christmas Countdown: 900
Rizo is dealing with the haters hanging with the 1907 Syndicate and worrying about keeping up. “Life Goes On…” stresses the purpose, but eases on the mad rhymes–Fuck you if you don’t like me I’m just trynna make a living Buy everybody 900 dollar presents for Christmas… which must be the mark of success or something.
The Red Squares represent the smug SOB who tells his girl he’s right. So she takes a Greyhound bus back home for the holidays To be with her East Coast family 900 miles away–not a good sign. “Santa Don’t Stop for Me” is the logical call-out for a boy who’s as bad as any boy can be. But the music is boy band as good as can be.
Christmas Countdown: 909
Greenbriar Lane answers ‘Christmas in the Ghetto’ with their Westcoast East L.A. area code based troubles “Christmastime in the 909.” Rollicking rock that’s not rap, no not really. But something’s gotta be done about these kids and these behavioral problems.
Christmas Countdown: 911
What’s nine one one to you? A call? A car? A calamity? It could be so many things!
Some Karen called 911 when someone Christmas Day was seen breaking and entering in “Santa Got Arrested” by The Arrogant Worms. Bouncy pop. Just what we need.
Also calling would be Cledus T. Judd who can take only so much “Merry Christmas From the Whole Fam Damily.” Pop redneck country. [Cledus also avails of 911 in “Tree’s on Fire.” Fishing for spokesperson role?]
Pyreworks heavy metals the merry tale of children calling for help when “Santa Died” on the floor of their home–where’s Grampa?!
A 911 Carrera tops RuffGotRhumes’s “My Christmas List.” Inoffensive, nay playful, rap.
JohnLion compares a rare beauty to both Christmas morning and a Porsche 911 in “Sleigh Tonight.” Lusting rap for that red dress.
Nick and Gabe bring it back around to novelty with “Thank God (9/11 Wasn’t on Christmas).” This pop tribute begins with how awful people make the holidays, BUT… ‘coulda been worse. Thanks for the perspective, boys.
Christmas Countdown: 944
The Killers return with another of their killer mini-movie videos. “Dirt Sledding” is all over the place, a hipster poetry dialogue concerning who wants to bring whom what. Red Porsche 944 like Jake In “Sixteen Candles” may be what Santa wants to gift, but the narrator wants it simple: pretty girls, Christmas lights. Driving rock.