Melissa Sanley has found a “Christmas Recipe,” but–as you might expect from cheesy pop music–it’s a Kindergarten teacher’s list: 2 Cups of Joy; A pinch of Cinnamon; A lot of Smiles… and more. Hoo boy.
Ivor Biggun plays a disgruntled mall Santa who must withstand a gallon or two of bodily fluids evacuated onto their laps. No wonder “Christmas Makes Me Spew.” Music hall shenanigans.
White teen rapper Dripz gets his scoff on with “Christmas is Overrated.” Queueing up in 2°c is just the beginning of his complaint list.
Hey there, weather lady, begins ZuCo in the jazzy R+B plea “Save a Little Snow for Christmas.” An inch or two Thanksgiving Day isn’t enough. White Christmas, got it?
Transitioning off the interstate onto the two-lane road is how you know you’re into a “Hometown Christmas.” That and Allie Aro’s nasal country octave rolling.
Interesting rap from DJ Zenas celebrates all the quirks of Christmas: Cousin ain’t actin a foo’ yet On the floor doin my two step. “For the Holidayz” offers R+B glee, see?
More out of the house, travel guide Nick Lawrence takes us to a “Merry Christmas from San Antone.” Mashed country (blues, boogie woogie, mariachi) offers to go riverwalking… Or two step out to the hill country. Whatever gets you there, dawg.
R+B pop from Sydeajah offers “Dance with Me (This Christmas).” Not much of a dance rhythm, but she’ll work it out: We can two step from west to east, Just Dance with me.
One for the money, two for the show, run run Rudolph don’t be slow, goes the boogie woogie of Lenne Brothers Band in the oh baby “Teddy Boy Season’s Greetings.” Boot scootin’ fun.
Three wishes are big about this time of the year. Tony Yazbeck and Patti Lupone duet “Three Wishes for Christmas” from the B’way musical ‘Gypsy.’ It’s for love, but Broadway show love.
Unable to afford a menorah, Dolly Parton offers “Three Candles” to make three wishes for Christmas [‘Cuz wishes do come true]. It’s Dolly.
Anne Murray wishes for “Christmas Wishes.” Then she country/pop demurs: I’d only ask for three. But they are the universe changing kind.
Twin League may be a bit over enthusiastic wishing Ho! Ho! Ho! Three cheers for Santa! with shouting and pop singing in the slightly catchy “Santa’s Sleigh.”
Ups and downs in Matthew McLaughlin’s “Chestnuts.” Christmas is a rollercoaster; Three cheers for the up and over… but that depends if you’re with him, Darlene. Otherwise, it’s alt rock all the way.
Stellar Kart gets less punk and more traditional with “Punk the Halls.” Three cheers for Christmas: Hey, hey, hey and a ho, ho, ho they sing, rather than wail.
Cheers? Beers! King Kendall seeks the perfect “Christmas Jam,” but seems to rap about whatever’s in front of him: Lookin outside tryina′ see reign deer; While Ty knockin’ back 3 beers (he drunk) And Mari sheds a tear (yup). Day inna random life.
“I’ll Never Drink with Santa Again” is Fabby Claus doing his drunk Elvis AND his drunk rockabilly smush mouth. It starts with One and one and one is three. Then it keeps going. Good stuff.
Backroom Stereo preferred the isolation of the Pandemic. In “I Hate the Snow” he rocks any excuse he can not to go out. Like snow! But I’ll walk to the pub, sit by the fire and have a beer or two, or maybe even three. Then snow’s not so bad.
With a better excuse, Secret Army punks out the pain when “Fired in Christmas.” Running into his mates, however, I order a beer, then two, then three and I start to feel alright. He even has a good night. But, the next morning….
Beers? Gifts! Boy bands are adorable when their lyrics make them out spoiled babies. Varsity Fanclub’s “It’s Christmas Again” chortles: Presents underneath the tree. One for you and three for me. The poppest of pop.
And… when Santa arrives… Our man of mystery bears a gift or three, according to the American rock of Jody Whitesides in “We’d Like to Wish You.” Yeah!
Solomon Burke know you want “Presents for Christmas.” In the best of R+B, he allows that all of you want Maybe one, two, or three toys. He’s on to something.
Maurice Fresh (feat. Shane Cashmere) raps about keeping the Christmas spirit with I told Santa I want 3 cars. “Big Sale” is rattatat rapping about making big.
A little Jerry Lee Lewis styling (welcome!) from Larson Lee details all the Christmas movie cliches that WON’T keep him from getting to his loved one, including Not even three ghosts Who showed Scrooge his grave Could scare me off this Christmas Day. “It’s No Christmas“without you!
The Christmas Jug Band fires up the boogie woogie with “I’m Stuffing the Bird,” which might be prepping or eating. They’re so raucous i lose track. And It’s weighing about at least forty three and a third! Wild!
The Continental Drifters ballad hard on Mama and Daddy whose farm failed and ran them into the ground. But the good times are encapsulated when his brother saw his first TV, It was the Christmas of 1959 and they families up for a few. “Daddy Just Wants It to Rain” is the American horror story of working hard, not mattering, and being forgotten. This American rock should help fix some of that. But, gee….
Mom and Dad in an unnamed singer’s “Christmas in Three-Quarter Time” are doing better. With all their snuggliness and kisses and icy-slow country music, they enjoy still driving the car made in ’59.
Kent Goodson & Michael Panasuk also recall a good time around “Christmas 1959.” boogie woogie (but slow, for the old folks). Brenda Lee, the King, Jerry Lee, they were all there!
Coal in your Christmas stocking might be a reminder to straighten up and fly right for next time.
Look to the cartoons to teach ya. My Little Pony‘s Pop Fly laments show tune style with “Last Year I Got Coal for Christmas.” On the path to improvement, but that attitude needs adjusting still.
Private Eye Music go boogie woogie with their loaded lesson “Lump of Coal.” Kid took his lumps and came back reflectively. Or at least looking at how his behavior differed from the other children. Well, the song sure is fun.
Songs about Christmas are so endemic that the merest ephemera or frippery is grist for the Xmas music mill. Hence, dozens of songs about Christmas cards. You’d think, with the electronic age, we’d’ve run out of these selections. Think this: