AI and Andrew J. Mair make a mess of caroling when they sing “We Just Can’t Go! (Without Figgy Pudding).” See, figs are a laxative and… you get it. Nearly funny parody.
I may have mentioned Barenaked Ladies’ “Christmastime (Oh Yeah)” before. The title is a line from the children caroling down the street. Pretty cool indie.
Creepy Rod McKuen sleepwalks through “The Carols of Christmas,” just another 1970s blemish that prides itself on the obvious. But, just look at it. I mean, really Look At It. See? Easy listening, so to speak.
Michael W. Smith calls on carolers to join with the angels in heralding “Christmastime,” ‘cuz you can’t know it’s the holidays unless loads are singing about it. Thought everyone knew that. Gospel pop.
A washed up Andy Williams rhymes carolers with bells in the easily avoided easy listening “Christmas Needs Love to be Christmas.” I know you knew that.
Marty Robbins uses that same rhyming for the oddly pop easy listening of “Merry Little Christmas Bells.” Pretty off brand for Robbins.
This pharyngeal fricative is impatience, annoyance, frustration, and many other things not-Xmas.
Marty Robbins wants “One of You [In Every Size].” Then he compares you to a doll that sighs and kisses, like you’re not even a person that he can see. Unfortunate message, but swing country.
CHG music weaves a country folk romantic reunion on “Next Christmas Eve.” He thinks it’s cute when you end all your thoughts with a sigh. Surely that means you’ve had enough of his silliness?!
With a smirk and a sigh, Curtis Onstott gives us “A Cynics Christmas.” Silly pop with an agenda.
Perhaps this breath can be upbeat? AI from Linhy pitches “Home for Christmas Again” as worthy of a joyful sigh. Jouncy jazz pop.
Anni Krueger revisits a happy childhood family holiday when she had to stay outside until she heard Bing Crosby sigh. Not sure about that, but “I Wish I Could Go Home This Christmas” is fine diva lounge work.
Eric Clapton’s tear jerking folk “For Love On Christmas Day” commences with that name he sighs. But it’s not to be. You know why. Don’t make me say it.
Poor living results in No laughter, no joy, just a house full of sighs in WESTbrook’s “Silent Silent Night.” But childish hopes are not tragic here. It’s pop.
(Are you kidding me?) Whether or not this bent metal is a direct descendant of the ancient Egyptian sistrum, or merely its cousin, a couple songs mention its reverberative tonality.
[Rumors persist of a rare album “A Very Merry Percussionistmas” by the Percussionistas, so i beg you to share the possibility of obtaining this as it would fit in here. If not, please make such an album.]
Cleo and Cuquin get baby-sized with their ‘Happy and You Know It’ adaptation for Christmas. But, the “Gift Song” includes a xylophone, tambourine, maracas and finally a triangle. So this house will be shaking up a storm come Advent.
Mr & Mrs Smooth note the bells in “Another Christmas Song,” but down the street the kids are singing one more… with a triangle of all things! Symphonic easy listening.
Heavens, a whole month has come and gone dedicated to Christmas Bells. But that rings hollow compared to the cornucopia available. So, a few more that jingle, peal, and clatter. Part one’s Jesus and other old fashioned stuff.
Nativity feting allows for bells, despite the silence of the night. “A Maid Bore a Babe” from Alan.s.Robinson is dandy medieval folking about joyful noise making.
Mark Hand goes faux medieval with “Fortune Bell.” It’s gravely fun.
This paradox is explained in “All the Bells in Bethlehem” from Janice Kapp Perry ()feat. Steven Kapp Perry, Lynne Perry Christofferson). This Xian pop tells us how bells weren’t there then, but shoulda been.
“The Joy Bells are Ringing,” according to Slim Whitman, sweetly tell of Jesus’ birth. Easy listening western.
Alan.s.robinson puts the “Sweet Bells” in the hands of the shepherds back then. Sprightly folk.
Stan Davis & Friends retort the cool with community glee in their “Christmas Bells.” Everyone join in.
“Gringo Bells” is Nicholas Marcos with a bossa nova beat reaching across borders.
An old Celtic drinking song rewritten for us is “Bells Chime” by The Uh Ohs. I don’t know whether to tipple or tinkle.
Mark Hand tortures easy listening with the slowdown of “Ring Those Bells,” a celebration of hard candy in a dish.
Lawrence Welk and His Orchestra and Chorus throw polka into the middle class with “Ring Those Christmas Bells.” This is the closest we’ll get to rocking today.
Maudlin indie from Bruce Enloe (feat. Ben Mullen) centers us on what’s important with “Northern Bells at Christmas.” Norman Rockwell whitewash.
Sure gonna be disappointed “If Santa Don’t Come See Me” declares Allie Jo Thomas. This uncertainty is one of the stages of Advent. As kidsong, it swings.
Bhi Bhiman is merely asking “Who’s Up There?” Motown sound makes the inquiry an accusation, in the funkiest sense possible. The answer: whatever.
Trying again, “I Still Believe in Christmas Trees” is Telstar Ponies getting symbolic with their credulity. Very indie. Ray Ray Garcia takes this title and makes a country reminiscence out of it. There’s dead parents and praying though.
Mikael Englund & Árpád Solti’re just walking around hopeless and like, when suddenly they come across “Street Santa” and everything’s better. As better as ragtime lounge will allow, that is. (They know it’s really him from all the ho ho ho ho ho hos.)
Cardinal enlarges on this subgenre to make “If You Believe in Christmas Trees.” The consequent of this playful prog rock is Dadaist nonsense of the coolest kind.
Is there Something Else to believe in?! David Lazar rocks the funk as if he were Fox Mulder with that Xmas night he got “A Visit.” The truth is out there, in the sky. Cool beans.
BooBoo Bear (from ‘Hanna-Barbera’s Christmas Sing-A-Long’) slings “Hope” to one and all. This time, it’s kidsong for Santa Claus.
The kid in me will always believe, Chatham County Line explains in studly bluegrass through “O! Santa.” It’s a song of hope and glee and presents.
Christmas Workshop Band (feat. Grandpa C) makes a meal out of “Believe Santa.” It’s an echo chamber full of random thoughts pretending to be pop music. I’m shaking here.
Matthew Gumley & Beth Leavel wrap up ‘Elf: The Musical’ with the not-quite showstopping Big Number “There is a Santa Claus.” It keeps building, the tempo continues to increase… and yet… and yet. (Still waiting.)
Mickey Rooney and Ron Marshall polish off 1974’s ‘A Year Without Santa Claus’ with the treacly easy listening “I Believe in Santa Claus.” He’s waiting. [Fans rankinbasstears put an indie edge on this.]
I’m not too keen on revisiting the nauseating call-and-response kidsong “Must Be Santa” by its originator Mitch Miller or whoever else. It IS a conclusion drawn about the existence of the Noth Polian. But it’s so tiring… (Even the lugubrious reorchestration by Hugh J. Noble–yeowch). Then i did stumble across a most profane and disturbing parody by Marti and Me. Please have a toilet nearby when you hear this.
Answering with asking, Brian Dewan gently pops the question “Do You Believe In Santa?” Tolstoy and Superman somehow get mixed up in all this. I have so Many Questions.
HorrorScene’s “SantaScene” electronically asks you believe what he saw. He saw Kissing. Believe it.
Also demanding the benefit of the doubt, MJames and Mark seek corroboration when “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” You have to believe!
Damien Horgan takes a more Neil Diamond approach with “Do You Believe in Christmas?” Makes a strong case here. Well, he’s NO Jesus Christ, but still– Easy Listening with a jazz edge.
Welcome back to The Russian Futurists who’s problem involves: I was lying in bed with you thinking about her/And trying to sleep off god awful powders. But with “100 Shopping Days ’til Christmas” these industrialist rappers bebop their way to mending a longing that’s yet to consummate. BLUE ALERT
No one will be sleeping on the night of Christmas Eve, sings the sad kid “When Christmas Comes to Town” in ‘The Polar Express’ soundtrack. Show tune heights from Matthew Hall & Meagan Moore.
Lobo (‘Me and You and a Dog Named Boo’) gets easy listening relaxed AFTER the kids have gone to sleep. “Late Christmas Eve” is now awake time for the older ones. Tired, but happy to be up.
