Year-round Yuletide oddities
OF for elf ruler, AUBREY is predominantly for girls. Who can tell with elves?
Naughty “Ali and Aubrey” only got coal for Xmas according to the caterwauling of JR Brumley. It might be pop music, mostly noise.
BLUE ALERT! TAAYLEE G gets especially sexualized for her “Christmas List“. And if she doesn’t get it from you (quick) she might ask Aubrey (Drake). Horny rap.
Holy Hannah, the name ANN comes from that Hebrew! Yet we enjoy so many derivations like Anne, Anna, Anais, Anissa, Annalise, Annika, Anya, Annabel… and more! that i have to take these on here.
“Annabel” by 4:44 is a New Age folk pop of the three foot tall angel here. He’s freaking out, kid!
The Reverend’s Allstars bring military marching precision to the pop “Snowflakes falling” about Lady Ann and Billy’s dad snowman making and carol singing. Hey!
More fun, “Anne’s Christmas Punch” by Again Is Already favors the bass backbeat and spikes the dance moves. That punch won’t discriminate.
“I’m a Little Christmas Cracker” returns, covered by The East Flamingo Big Band. Seems sister Ann gets a call out in the middle of this suggestive pop song, now with more jazz.
“Mall Santa” by Two Tree Hill (feat. Rose Kelso) mentions several mall mainstays, including Aunty Anne’s (pretzels). If it wasn’t so bizarrely polka and inappropriately horny, i wouldn’t include it here. But it is. [Unlike “The Mall Song” wherein Lec complain-raps and includes that eatery for the holidays… but, ugh.]
Emery takes a moment (or eight) to introduce us to childhood sweetie “Anne Marie“, who beat him at snowballs way back when. Bluegrass fueled hyper pop.
In “Merry COVID Christmas“, Phoeb (feat. Amateur Panda) misses family, including Aunt Anne and Uncle Jerry. The pain is tearstreaming, the guitar riffs are fairshredding. Tragic, man.
Danny Coltmoore advises “Don’t Cry Little Charlie” with some drawlin’ Southernisms. This folk–Irish really–wake ‘splains how the mama, Anna-Bell, went overseas to Hurt Locker, but someone made a mistake/Against bombs you know there is no cure. Awww, cute.
Pastor Kenny’s Classroom rock the block with the lesson “Don’t You Know It’s Christmas (Season #1 Theme) (Live Remix)”. Deets are shared about the Christmas Story, including Simeon and Anna (oldsters who knew what this baby portended). Lighters up!
ArtOfficial tOddio also mention the couple in the gentler AI-friendly “The Advent of the Greatest Gift (What If)“. The What Ifs here are rhetorical, so don’t strain yourself.
Poverty time! “Little Annie’s Christmas Wish” involves no orphans, but poor folk with no presents. The Oak Ridge Boys peddle their pone with artfully winsome harmony, but hard jerked tears.
Mike Bryant’s “Christmastime Annie” also struggles without resources. Is the adult sufferer more pitiable than the child? Listen to this ersatz country to find out. (Spoiler: she doesn’t make it.)
Loretta Lynn returns to educate us about actual country rock with “Country Christmas“. Despite the congregated family, only Aunt Annie Belle and Uncle Bill get named. Still quite a party.
Spinster school marm “Annie” is pressured by friends and superiors to find a man, especially at the Christmas party. But, she’s fine. She’s got her woman. Fast for folk from Fred Small.
One of her students might be “Jump-Rope Annie“, who asked for and used that sports gear for Christmas. Mr One gets AI country rock/pop for this portrait of a funny little lady.
“Elegy for Annie Maguire” from Uncut Pages spins a fragmentary tale of desperation and self harm from a ledge o’er the sea Xmas Eve. Folk pop with an unsettling mystical charm.
Old lady Amber Crowley entrusts her daughter, Little Annie, to help make a “Homemade Christmas“. An island makes this easy listening sway. Or maybe it’s the Parkinsons.
“ANNETTE” is a mother tribute by MIKE BRICKZ (feat. DJ AYE BLIZZ1). R+B gifting.
Bowling For Soup’s rocking “Annique Stole My Car” is Xmas only in tune. Gary and Erik get short shrift, possibly due to the trauma of grand theft auto. BLUE ALERT already.
The Barefoot Man cries beer tears in the honky tonk “Let Me Wrap You In My Arms This Christmas“. You’re the only present that I want, Love. That sort of thing.
Dick Lieb lowers the volume with the plea “Let’s Share Christmas“. Jazz lounge whispering. Just you and me. Seems sincere, for now.
Adaline & Frederick pepper the pop with drawling cowlings so that “Let’s Stay Inside” doesn’t seem to be in a human language. Oh, take me, take me, take me on a sleigh ride. Call for backup.
Otis Gibbs plunks and plinks unto “Little Red Nose” a love call. His folk grass isn’t about Rudolph; seems you’ve got a similar thing in the middle of your face. But the only thing I want this year is you right here with me. That’s all, folks.
Morgan James inserts loads of brass into her country soul “Long As I Got You“. Me and my baby got other plans. almost too busy to sing this.
BLUE ALERT Confused strums along with the folk rock nonchalance of “All You Want For Christmas (Unmixed, Unmastered & Unloved)“. But the lyrics get snarly, angry, vindictive. Sorry, no love here. Some laughs, though.
Cori Connors covers Tarja’s observance how much “You Would Have Loved This“. (This = winter.) She packs a punch in this soft indie pop with power vocals.
Also hemmed in by the winter weather, Alison Trelfa doodles around easy listening jazz with “It’s Not Christmas Without You“.
David McMullen’s “Christmas Without You” is just as bathetic, and he’s ready to yacht rock call it all off.
What the funk? Don Lee’s “Black Christmas” is especially dark without you. Turn it up.
James Coyle begins mid-breakup with the poignantly mean-spirited “A Very AIDS-y Christmas“. BLUE ALERT, but hilarious (if you ask me) pop. An encore of comic excess.
From the corn to the pone, Bobby Helms is miserable with “Another Christmas Without You“. No stocking full of joy, only an aching heart. OG country.
Spiralling, Johnny O not only misses you, but pictures you in someone else’s arms “By the Fire, Burning Bright“. Lounge rage.
Barely recognizable, Cher synth-belts out “Christmas Ain’t Christmas Without You“. She’s begging, dude.
“I Miss Your Christmas” is reflective R+B from Kid Travis that urges me to reunite you to him., warts and all.
Wistfully BLUE ALERT “Another Christmas Without My Niggas” from Boosie Badazz is regretful rap, slow and sentimental. Weird.
Again, this is a misused and misunderstood label. Not exactly a diagnosis from the DSM.
Clearly, Kittenfish Mountain’s “One of the Most Insane Christmas Eves I Ever Spent” is not all that nutso, just a dream. Despite what my missus tells me, every dream is so weird–even asking for your shoes.
The H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society delights in the horrors of early XXth Century lit to carol out disturbance, despair, and psychic destruction. “I’m Dreaming of a Dead City” sees Cthulhu when he’s sleeping. “Little Rare Book Room” checks out The Necronomicon only to the elite. “Mountains of Madness” sic Shoggoth on us campers. Then Dagon Tabernacle Choir has to one-up them with the Hannukah special “Tentacles“. What an Arkham spectacle.
Not caring a whit about sanity, The Hot Buttered Elves’ “Tiny Happy Plastic Gumball Machine Santa Luck Charm” charms with diva lounge blues and rando lyrics.
It doesn’t take many years of training to figure “Santa Was Eating The Christmas Tree” is not stable behavior. Dysfunctional Family Band runs cute with kidsong feels. Don’t listen too carefully to the big guy’s rationalization. (IF it was dream, then the dreamer’s kookoo.)
Santa can’t bring you “Mental Health“, softly pops NmMindstorm without hope. Gifts aren’t appreciated fully without it. Oh, and BLUE ALERT
Andrew X is not really feeling it, in fact all he feels is that it’s “Christmas Far Away“. Despite going through the symphonic piano reflective pop motions, nothing gels. (Perhaps because of those last five words.)
“Dashboard Lights” are the only that matter for Christmas Boyz in this garage indie anti-sentimental Aussie rant. Does crack hisself up, tho.
Song Boys up the amperage a bit for “Nothin’ To Do With Christmas“. Still not happy in their garage for garage’s sake, despite the grand shreddin’.
Not looking forward to Christmas this year is Bleed the Dream with their emotional (ha ha) indie “No Smiles on Christmas“. Something about heartbreak, i think, but definitely Millennially mopey.
mikemikemike hides behind a lot of filter for “Fuck You Xmas“. This sophistry BLUE ALERTS the BLUE ALERT in order to BLUE ALERT. I suspect through all this static that self harm is your gift from him. Oddly pop.
Devon Kay & the Solutions beg, with ska, that you not have another “Christmas Boring“. Energetic impatience.
Jesse “Buddha” Clark (When I’m Older) strums out a bit more BLUE AERT folk with the talky “Christmas (couldn’t) Carol (at all)“. Carols seem to be a trigger. Stand back.
Latin For Truth uses the screech option for the lite garage “Discordian Rhapsody” wherein all things Xmas are dumped on.
Perhaps recorded on VHS fast speed, “The Night You Lost A Button” trundles out Xmas misery from Word Travels Fast. Indie angst.
Ben Coleman gives us another stellar parody suckerpunching McCartney with “Miserable Christmastime“. The sounds of sirens fill the street.…
In “A William S. Burroughs XXX-Mas” Apartment 7 channels the nihilist writer through childish tinkling music. It is not pretty. In fact, BLUE ALERT.
Taking cues from ‘Wonderful Life’ HkFiftyOne celebrates “Christmas Day” by getting out of the boring little hometown, and touring the world. Rap electric.
Jouncy bouncy come Twelve 2 Five with “The Last Christmas Day“, electronica that robotizes the merriment. Que danceable.
AI dismisses joy with an “Untuned Lullaby” in which Winter Sage is frozen out by those who matter and slow pops malaise in response.
Belinda and Stefan begin “Things that Christmas” with exhortation and cheer, but rapidly descend, with children’s style repetitive pop, into the mundane and icky. Not good traditions at all.
Brock Armstrong (feat. Heavy Flows) also begin their symphonic randomness upbeat, but then “Christmas Spirit” faces the reality of now (subprime mortgages, fleeing to Arkansas, the Jesus story leaving us cold…). Eww.
Please, “Don’t Let It be Christmas” bemoans Crankshaft Alligator to over-filtered slow blues rock in the ballpark of just giving ups and hating the whole magilla.
Sometimes the holidays is just about being the best. How is this judged? Who cares, shut up, you lose.
Contests on the deck is part of “Christmas In Florida” by Guitar George Pjevach. Not sure what games are played, though Limbo is mentioned. Losers get Triple Sec, so–let’s go!
The BLUE ALERT “Christmas Contest (Judged by Me)” is a personal test to find who’s the best lady. The Power of Truth rocks pop while giving oral exams.
“The Contest of the Holly and the Ivy” from Cassie and Maggie is more gentile and folk Celtic to balance out that other thing. I can’t tell who won… anybody?
Clear a path to the bathroom! Monica Mathern’s “Yuletide Eggnog Chugging Contest” brings out the worst in all takers. Emerging rock.
Dr. BLT borrows Pachelbel to help tell of the “Christmas Rap Contest“. Yeah, it’s rap. Mostly.
AI to the rescue! Rodney Munch’s “The Company’s Ugly Sweater Contest” gets BLUE ALERT competitive in the worst way. Who’s first and who’s worst? Pop music with some metal edges goes after Susan. Look out!