Category: country sort of

From the ancient Greek word eugenēs, EUGENE means noble. Don’t figure anyone names their kid Loser.

“Eugene’s Secret List” by The Good Hearts Postcard Club remains a secret by the end of the song. Given that this showtune hails from the musical ‘Fifty Shades of Christmas’ i shudder to think….

More explicitly, Amy and Gene meet at the office Xmas party and–whoosh! (Sex!) “Slow Things Down” rocks Playing With Matches. Too late for the rock.

Cassie’s Corner may list a dozen names in “Eugene the Elf“, but those are all the children inspired and changed by this lunkhead of a Santa’s helper who assigned the gifts incorrectly one Xmas. Mediocre kidsong, but something a bit original for me and some gently soothing singing (not hyperactive condescending general to the genre).

Is Eugene a baddun? Funkicide pits him, Glock in hand, after Jack–then pursued by the Five-O in the BLUE ALERT rap “Pursuit And Capture“. It might be taking place around Xmas.

Eugene may have caused the fight featured in “Merry Christmas From the Whole Fam Damily [Bonus Track]”, but he was misunderstood. Still, got busted up pretty bad. Country comedy from Cledus T. Judd.

ETHEL goes back to Old English and was the name of kings for a bit. It adds nobility to a mien, ya know?

godlovesoga creates a bit of nausea in the BLUE ALERT musing “Christmas in Our Hearts (Merry Christmas Jesus)“. It could be rap, but for all the muttering and slurring. Credit is given to Pastor Ethel, however. And Jesus. But not Jehovah. Eff him.

Country bitching from Kevin Jonas Sr.. “ChrisMess” points fingers at family members. Even Aunt Ethel (kaff-kaff-drunk-kaff).

ERNEST is High German for fierce struggle. But i don’t wanna fight about it.

“Ernestine” finds the glass ceiling pretty low. As an elf that might not be saying much, but then David Grover kidsongs the boy elves into a debilitating sickness. She stops cooking and cleaning long enough to slave away making toys and saves the day. Hooray.

I was trying to determine if “Ernie the Elf and the Special Gift Christmas Song“, was from a book, but then i didn’t care. Alyssa Long amps up the orchestra for kidsong hyperactivity.

Latin rap, “Época” trowels on suburban bummer, including how Ernie and The Brightlights are depressed that the lights never went up for the holidays. Loud.

BLUE ALERT! Rollercoaster X is even more distressed singing the pop metal “A Merry Fucking Christmas to You“. Uncle Ernie tries to co-opt the party bc he has a cool car. What a terrible time.

More tamely, Tara Thompson countrified the family chaos with “Wienerschnitzel“. Aunt Sue is drunk, Uncle Ernie lost his teeth. Going to need a big tube steak for all them. The whistling helps.

Well, i goofed up on this one. EMILY is the same as Amelia–which I had connected to Amy. Both Latinates, but the latter is love and our current focus is energy. Those are not the same apparently. (And one was my gramma the other my college girlfriend–there’s a difference!)

Cracker’s “Merry Christmas Emily” is a slow burn rockabilly cousin i happen to be quite fond of.

Bombastic indie with psychedelic feels, “For the Lulls” by Merry Christmas (sorry to say that is the attributed band name) mixes me up. Stuart? WTF?

The “Emily Who Christmas” is celebrated by Emily Who. Kidsong.

Two-timing Justin Rutledge begins the country indie “The Suffering of Pepe O’Malley [Pt. Iii]” to Dear Madeleine (who will stand him up in London), but it’s Dear Emily he admits he won’t see for Christmas. Catchy.

Also too poetic by half, Baseball Gregg details his “Decade Ender“. He wants to cum under the table to his spiritual Emily, but worries this song is plagiarism. Who said creativity is dead?

In “Emily’s Song” a little girl is desperate for Santa/Jesus to help her in her abusive, broken home. Dad finds the letter and Presto, a new man. Country fun.

“All I Want For Christmas” for Naser Al Azzeh is loads of goods and Emily Ratajkowski. Parody complete.

Emily’s car broke down and Midnight Friday can’t find her AND “It’s the Mf Holidays“. Metal rock with a lyric harmony. They’re gonna have a Christmas.

Cold Callers Comedy calls “Thank God For Christmas” despite all the hardship. Poor, cold, and Emily is missing him, so he sings the somber pop.

Troubled girlfriend, “Amelia (A Christmas Carol)” is called out by Jimmy Kelly with compelling yet corny country pop. Steer clear.

“My English Friend” is Amelia. Well, it is for T-Girl Angel. This bluegrass ballad covers ups, downs, and Christmas. It’s a whole autobiography.

“Troubled girlfriend, “Amelia (A Christmas Carol)” is called out by Jimmy Kelly with compelling yet corny country pop. Steer clear.

Chieftain EARL in Anglo Saxon becomes British count. Lah dee dah.

EARL GREEN & Mathew Stegner address Earl and Mr. Green in the pornographic “My Christmas Stocking“. Guess what a guy like Earl keeps in there! Novelty through and through.

The odd home-grown Xmas musical ‘Welcome to Virginia’ takes time to mourn “My Precious Earl“, the father-to-be of the pregnant chick. Folk showtune.

The Moffat’s crash some Riders in the Sky TV show to sing “Earl the Christmas Squirrel“. What a nut.

As sequel (and ad) Ronald Yahr squeezes AI into the shape of “Earl the Squirrel’s Universal Christmas Adventure“. Pop, a little country. (Obsessing, he also has an AI pop love song “Christmas with Earl the Squirrel“.) [Seems the Orlando theme park was beset with a rooting rodent years ago and adopted his likeness because that’s what theme parks do.]

Ed Gowens chases down more livestock with “Earl the Red-Beaked Rooster“. For the most part, a comedy routine (more stereotype/less funny).

Earl and Cletus through the power of AI country find when “Santa’s Down in Tennessee“. David Toth josh us through bullying, kidnapping, and alcoholism.

Slidawg & the Redneck Ramblers follow Earl “Up on the Trailertop” hunting reindeer. Doesn’t end well for the bubba. Great fiddling, middling redneckery.

Cousin Earl is composing the nog in the hard-driven AI country “Christmas Eve Breakdown” attributed to Misfit Prophets. Chaos ensues.

Earl’s is good for a jamming session in the AI country banger “Christmas in a Chevy“. John T Ellis leads us to the conclusion, robots for hillbillies.

AI down home country from Rocketkat wishes you a “Merry Redneck Christmas“. Among Sue, Joe, and Earl only the latter seems responsible.

“Earl’s Christmas” ticks off all the hillbilly criteria: unemployed protagonist, overpopulated family (lotsa names), overly sentimental self reflection, trivial triumph. Brandon Fulson takes country seriously.

DIXIE surely means The Deep South, nah? Actually, it’s French for tenth. That’s a big French family, that is.

Brian D Swan asks the AI to hold no boundaries for its big swinging country anthem “Christmas at the Label“. The recording company office holiday party apparently is reckless and rowdy; Dixie is spiking the punchbowl for example.

DIANA‘s a goddess. Done. (‘SLatin.)

The Sunnyside Social Club scats out “Dinah” amidst crazy Dixieland. I’m sensing a good time had by all.

“Dear Santa” from Bria Meledē & Rockim Williamson is a he loved she loved meet cute rap about each other. No actual names are revealed, though he does refer to her a Dirty Diana (slang for band slut). Awww.

We’re avoiding celebrity shout outs for this theme, but who can resist Paloma Faith & Josh Weller one-upping and two-downing one another with the showtune “Its Christmas And I Hate You“. Near the end the song comes to a complete stop when one challenges the other’s musical taste: Diana Krall is NOT music. Ding ding ding.

Brad Paisley cashes in on the trailer trash of ‘Merry Christmas from the Family’ with his party country “Lit“. Diana undercooks the turkey. (Aunt Linda and Uncle Jay gots their own problems.) Yeah, kind of a blast.

CONSTANCE is Latin for constant. Nowadays we say loyal, true blue, steadfast. English, where we have a dozen different ways to say the same thing.

Wayne Tinch doesn’t worry much about “The Christmas Tree Cat“. Others were more concerned. Aunt Connie got choked and turned a little blue. Bluegrass AI, but not insufferably so.

In “Breath of Christmas” Charles Flanery sings to Connie with nothing but country gentlemanly compliments. I’m guessing they haven’t been together long.

Wait, this name is OE for ‘elf freind’?! ALVIN! Get my mithril! Yeah, when i say Alvin’s Christmas, you say—? (It’s chipmunk.) Not exactly FAY-mous, so we’ll roast the little sucker in a few songs.

If you haven’t heard the gag where the voices are NOT sped up the chipmunks’ novelty Christmas hit, try Harold Krell’s “Alvin Sings the Chipmunks.” It might be reworded a bit. Demonic.

Strangely, “Christmas This and That (The Opposites Song)” by some AI entitled Tiny Explorers refers to Alvin as somebody who’s not a genius. Not sure why they went there. Guess he’s one of the cartoon friends in the group. Cheesy kidpop.

A variation appears in “Elvin the Elf” silly kidsong by Dave Jacques. His toy making skills saves Xmas. But he sounds like Elmo.

Staving of Alzheimers, Robert N Wagner remembers “A December 2 Remember“, especially how chipmunks rhymes with tree trunks. Lounge country.