Category: garage

The December after-school dance was not a warm up for proper prom; it was ‘cuz teens kept breaking up and dating new.

Speak’s “Winter Formal” seems to be working out some issues with rap and chipmunk filter. Make a meme of it!

Tough Ghost’s “Winter Formal” spirals with hard rock over the racing hormones of box-stepping with that one. It’s not all good news.

Dead End Stanley is more hopeful in their “Winter Formal,” but that’s not all it takes that confidence not at all. Unplugged rock.

Faux Real mixes EDM with announcements for Pinewood High in their mind melting “Winter Formal.” Classy or nasty? You decide.

The garage rock of awkward first love shares the pain in Farabee’s “Winter Formal.” Am I dreaming?

Christmas might be the festival of god, but BLUE ALERT MCF4dden sings about “Santa tha Rapa (Weihnachten BDSM)“–that’s not a Deutsch misspelling of rapper–who is up to No good At All. OMG. Raspy rap.

To balance out that degradation, saccharine country rock celebrates the festival of love in “Hoofbeat Street.” Not sure where this thoroughfare is, but i presume there’s sleighing left and right. Corny as high as an elephant’s eye.

Dated mixes media for the Lovecraftian horror of “The Festival.” Spoken word bordering on rap, this descent into rural tradition may cause unnecessary yearning for urban overcrowded Santalands.

Further, “The Festival” by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society takes ‘Wassailing’ and twists the merriment into madness, as sometimes does occur. Help!

Ye Banished Privateers preach to concertina in their “Festival Days.” BC, you know, celebrating Christmas was illegal once. So cut it out. Spoken.

Let’s settle on the ironic side eye for Hallmark Christmas festivals as garage rocked by Hidden Horizon in “The Day After Halloween (It’s Christmas Again!).” Ha ha ha.

Slap that axe, boy-o, it’s twelve the twenty-fifth! Left-handed, right-handed… let’s go! …no, wait, wait, wait. First we have to acquire one:

Randy Franklin wants a “Guitar for Christmas,” but his dad rock is so calcified we might wanna check the naughty list twice.

William Baron also declares “I Want a Guitar for Christmas.” Still pokey, but pretty awesome vocals.

Max Benitz is so focused he is unplugged and folk with his need for a “New Guitar for Christmas.” He describes it; it’s the one in the pawn shop window. Poor guy.

The Stompers are a bit slick with “All I Want for Christmas is a Rock n Roll Guitar.” Doesn’t sound like they need one.

Joernsson Overdrive brings the funk rock with ’70s electronica to his wish for you… and a “New Guitar for Christmas.” Bring your disco shoes.

Watkins & the Rapiers don’t just want a guitar for Christmas, they want a “Big Guitar.” Groovy rock, makes me want to listen to ‘Tommy’ again.

Bob Wire and Chip Whitson toss blues against the rock and most of it sticks for their wanting a “Guitar for Christmas.” Good club sound.

“All I Want For Christmas Is An Acoustic Guitar (1-2-3-4)” in a bizarre twist is EDM from TDJ. It’s more about the drug experience. Not so much about the guitar.

The classically novel “Santa Claus” also asks for a guitar, but we’re including it ’cause Wild Billy Childish & The Musicians Of The British Empire punk it up just right.

Vinny Peculiar gets so personal i’m not sure all what he alludes to when he Britpops “All I Want for Christmas Is a Gibson Flying V.” Still, wizard.

Garage rock by its nature is more earnest, less polished. So i believe in The Pink Flamingos’ “Mama, for Christmas I Want a Guitar.” The talent shines through the roughness and the message is thereby elevated. According to me.

Part four is (supposedly) funny stuff.

You want silly??!! Joey Slater looks to the midyear and avers that Christmas can still be felt. “JULY or Just Put some Bells on It” is indie rock with a point. But weird.

Okay, we’re avoiding actual ‘Jingle Bells’ melodies, but i have to hear Rick Moyer’s Star Trek fun “Klaxon Bells” one more time.

Kidtime! Disney creatures share in “From All of Us to All of You,” originally a Jimminy Cricket Christmas greeting from the ’50s. This jazz band number revels in the bells. A lot of bells.

Jeff Dunham’s Christmas special finale “When Santa Comes to Town” is not the usual acerbic wit he cuts with. Instead it reeks of 1980s Looney Toons reconstructed TV, slick but hollow. Bells in the chorus, but yawn.

More merry, The Christmas Jug Band do what they do to celebrate Santa’s arrival. Bells will ring, they declare, “When the Red Sled Comes.” Hep-some.

The Skivvies (who perform in their underwear) mashup mod pop and carols in the odd “Bells Bells Bells.” Give it a tinkle.

The Benefit try out “Sleigh Bells” in a different context… doesn’t work. Still the Winter Holidays. Funny.

Oddly evocative, “The Sleighbell Museum” from The Non Traditionals paints a picture of a fantasy place we will never see with bossa nova soft pop.

Fed up, yet? The Rattlesnakes garage the pain with “Christmas Bells won’t Stop Ringing.” Crescendo and out.

Again: Miles Maxwell (feat. Gary Zimmer) fab out the pop with “Santa is Real.” This uber-rationalization comes off as snide at best. I suspect disbelief.

The Boulevards (feat. L Odessa) doo wop in a closed bathroom to bring us “I Don’t Believe in Santa Claus.” Groovy, but tinny.

Largely undecipherable, the club pop of Davii plows through “Don’t Believe in Santa with URBAN ZAKAPA.” See, i’m not sure if urban is a tribute or an attribution. But i am doing the bossa nova to it.

Excez exhorts us with shouted garage in “Don’t Believe in Santa.” Careful, here. They have tools.

Again: Nick Helm storms a UK talent show with the BLUE ALERT alert “There Ain’t No Fucking Santa Claus.” Still laughing here.

Attempting rap  D.P. Weisemann declares “I Can Believe It’s Here” with only middling effort. Not buying it.

So Out There electronicas “This is Why Christmas is Bullshit!” for your edification. Brit anti-capitalism, so file it away correctly in case you need it again.

The Aux garage rocks the if/then equation of “A Real Santa.” It’s only a thought experiment, but now i feel all funny inside.

The cast of ‘Naughty… But Nice’ reprise “Waiting up for Santa.” It’s for a date, and i don’t mean 12/25.

Charming kidsong features a peeper who starts hollering about this guy in a “Big Red Suit” messing with the Christmas tree. The Trail Band’s jug band recitation is pretty good.

Syrpyntyne parodies American Authors to relate “The Best Christmas on My Life.” You know, the one where you caught a glimpse through the window of you know who on Christmas Eve. Sneaking ensues.

Flooded Cellar just plain is gonna “Wait All Night for Santa.” American country garage. They gotta know what’s going on.It’s like that.

Not going to sleep is cramping Richie Valentino (feat. Dynasty the King)’s style in “Rum Pum Pum.” Synthed rap about wanting to get bizzy, but yule-blocked by those awake kids. Go to sleep!!

Mom and Dad know there’s no way I’m sleepin’ confesses Leanna Crawford with pop country sass in “Christmas Dreamin’.” It’s not sleep-dreamin’, ya see. It’s kid-wishin’ for all the goodies. Don’t doze!

I think of you late at night/When I can’t sleep sing Mutual Frogs full of heartbreak in the garage doodling “Melancholy Christmas.” It’s the most lonely time of the year.

Pat Boone keeps me up at nights with his velvety crag-voice trudging through carols like “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.” Santa Claus versus Sandman, quoth he with easy-listening woodwindery.

10,000 mile away from home/I cannot sleep, I cannot sleep retro rocks The Yule Logs with a jet lag concern during “Christmas in Berlin.” Life on the road!

Vista Blue rocks the garage with the eyelid struggle in the superior “Why Does It Take Forever?” I can’t ever fall asleep/When it’s Christmas Eve!

The “Christmas Nightmare” of Benitez Family is a garagingly relentless Santa pursuit. Run. RUN!

Bit of an experimental multimedia shitshow from Dirk Diggler, “Christmas Nightmare” speaks for itself.

Sherri DuPree divulges her “White Christmas Nightmare” with garage rock, but with energy, too–which is the opposite of a garage thing. What IS this?