Category: metal

Tony Marriott croons indie with his weepie “I Don’t Believe in Santa.” Not quite surf-rock, but quite danceable.

Also sad, Luke Mitchell & The Rambunctions make lounge out of indie with “I Don’t Believe in Santa Clause.” Believing in love doesn’t completely get you off the hook, ya doubter you.

Ken’s Loud Band sings the blues with “I Don’t Believe in Santa.” Certainly hard times will follow this choice of views. Brought it on yourself.

ALESKA’s death metal “We Don’t Believe in Santa Claus Anymore” kinda marches to its own drummer, but this pogo rant leans into indulgence.

Fashionable Glasses believe in nothing in the EDM “Nothing But The Bells On.” Not that they believe in music, but they are fantasizing about you mostly naked. Oh.

Bob for Apples reels us back to indie easy listening with “For Christmas’ Sake.” A lot of contentiousness, including not believing–out of spite, i reckon.

Taylor Ashton ups the cool factor with indie folk (it’s banjo-tastic) in the existential crisis “Santa’s Song (I Don’t Believe in Myself).” See what you’ve gone and done, kids!

There is no Santa Claus maintains Orgy in their angry metal “Santa’s Creepy Secret.” It’s over like Donkey Clover.

Seeing Santa is all well and good for kids who gotsa, but most of us closed our eyes and just KNEW he was on his way. Our faith moved mountains of presents. Seek not to understand that you may be getting, but be getting that you may understand. Altogether now: F-A-I-T-H.

The New Anxiety slog through their struggles in epistemology with their indie “When We Believed.” It goes as well as could be expected.

The Ohio City Singers folk rock “A Season for Believing” with a touch of Motown. It’s a call to transforms.

Santa & The Toymakers make a meal out of the (not exactly light-hearted) plea “You’ve Got to Believe in Me.” Santa seems hair metal desperate. I’d do it if i were you.

We the Kingdom get jazz lounge intimate with “Still Can’t Sleep on Christmas Eve.” Even the gr’ups, little ones, even they. Sweet tune.

Australians might have more trouble, it being around the longest day of the year Down Under, so Filipino Press Group Sydney R+Bs the soft pop of “Can’t Sleep (It’s Christmas).”

Chris Lam Sam recounts a li’l monster who metals out “I Can’t Sleep” on Christmas Eve. Sweets are blamed (not rampaging through the town square).

“I’m Dreaming of a California Christmas” from Lakes is not simple parody, but surf/garage whining of Golden proportions.

Hearkening back to the Pandemic, Skinner & Twitch are “Dreaming of a Safer Christmas.” Family get-togethers are so-o-o-o germy, according to this bluesy pop. So, just don’t.

The dreaming may be whiter on the other side of the border, so Marthie Nel Hauptfleisch (Woman on Fire) warbles “I’m Dreaming of a Christmas in Saskatchewan” with folk fury. Things get rough.

Internal Darkness infects and inspires in “I’m Dreaming of a Black Christmas“–a musical parody of screeching and dying. That’s a kind of dream, the nightmare kind.

“What If Elvis was Santa Claus” poses more questions than it answers. Jesse Chavez of the Dysfunctional Family Band wails, though. Thank you very much.

Sugies has trouble when blackmailing Santa to get on the Nice List. See, that guy at the mall is not him. So she gets on the phone to him to promise she’ll keep his “Secret Santa.” Charming kidsong pop.

Delu has his doubts, but it’s about the big belly. “Damn, Santa!” is the rap to unwrap the secrets that matter. Is Nelly in there?

Julia Wade and Friends also see Santa Xmas night. Turns out it was a dream “The Night I Meant St. Nick.” Wild showtune kidsong that turns to the following year (another dream??).

Bah & the Humbugs point out Santa sightings might be fake. Might be a “Blow Up Santa.” Perky pop forewarns cops might get involved.

Jack Douglass of Jacksfilms wants to drive the nail home, so be prepared to duck for cover during the pop “Santa Ain’t Real.” AGAIN!

Piling on to the so-called tradition of the Dickens morality play, every handful of years a handful of new adaptations take the stage.

That Disney animated movie Oscar-winner, Alan Menken, threw the music onto ‘A Christmas Carol: The Musical‘ of 2004 (from a 1994 stage production). This iteration is a (TV) star-studded gala for this (TV… erm, uhm, Hallmark [sorry]) production. Kelsey Grammer is more confrontational with his growling rendition here (“Nothing to do With Me Part 2“). Jason Alexander is more sly with his suffering Marley (“Link by Link“). Silly filler includes Scrooge’s upbringing (“A Place Called Home“). In fact six pieces in the 20 song soundtrack belong to the Past lessons, psychoanalyzing the misanthropy of the big jerk (letting him off the hook as a victim of circumstance, sez me). As uszh, the better pieces are from “Mr. Fezziwig’s Annual Christmas Ball” (largely orchestral for all the dancing) and the Future: “Dancing on Your Grave” (largely drama recited to the music). Not groundbreaking, but seems like a grand theatrical experience.

Ya wanna get rockopera about it, get some Tommy Johannsen’s Majestica. His A Christmas Carol (Extended Version) has all the import of class warfare and all the metal of Metallica. The numbers tend to start with traditional carol tunes, like “A Christmas Story” fronted by ‘O Come All.’ “The Ghost of Marley” is all ‘Deck the Halls,’ but still kicking hard. A welcome relief is “The Joy of Christmas” a ‘Wish You a Merry’ about Scrooge’s past. But the “Ghost of Christmas to Come” number is a rollicking cabaret routine like one long drum solo. Original?

‘Weird’ Al Yankovic’s “The Night Santa Went Crazy” is classic (overplayed?) rock about atrocity. Santa goes after the workshop with a shotgun. The usual.

Aidan Ryan’s punk update on “Santa Baby” includes My ex’s number, An airsoft rifle and many other red flags. Uh oh.

More shooting in the hood from Chris Leland’s “Santa Claus Bag.” Ouch.

Satanic metal from Bestial Crown observes the niceties of gifts: A toy rifle, New earrings, A cute dolly, A new watch… not carcasses and slimy bugs like you’d expect in “A Wrapped Christmas.”

Why do we need a brand new Jesus, a “Brand New Christmas“? Hot Chocolate gospel/disco raps why–To take the gun out of the fighting hand, To take a little away, from the greedy man. ‘Seasy!

Trouble with money, trouble with drugs, trouble with being “Lazy,” yet Jay Stunner claims: This Christmas I done bought errbody a gun. Yer standard BLUE ALERT rap.

Greg Volk’s folk pop “Have a Maga Christmas” might be straightforward, it might be ironic (lots of ‘whatever‘s), but it does suggest Gun-right garland, whatever that might be.

Sum 41 & Tenacious D ups the ante with an expectedly ridiculous metal screaming list in “Things I Want,” a solid gold Harley with machine guns on the front included.

“A Gun for Christmas” by The Brown Christmas seems to recount an actual gift with tragic results. Hard to tell through all that garage synth. Just as well.

Tweaking and plunking, “Don’t Shoot, It’s X​-​Mas!” by Colemanworld comes in at the bare minimum of a song about something.

The _____ Hunters growl and slobber their garage way through psychopathy with an Xmas wish for “My New Gun.” It’s not pretty. Boys will kill boys.

Despite the warning not to fear “Tofu for Christmas,” Dad’s grabbing his gun! Tofu Vibrations punk that metal to make their point. I’m afraid.