Xmas Instruments: Xylophone

From the Greek for ‘wood sound’ this percussive plaything is many a new parents’ nightmare.

Speaking of ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas,’ Danny Elfman’s “Closing” has Santa revisiting Jack and Jack’s children playing strange little tunes in their xylophone band. Spoken.

Speaking of wee one’s toys… Jorden Milnes sets the backbeat to heavy to describe what’s coming out of “Santa’s Workshop.” Xylophones! (and tiaras and trains and on and on). Kidsong.

The Pizza Carolers invite all the other kids with holiday instruments to band together, especially since they got a “Xylophone for Xmas.” Childlike indie fun.

Recently let go, Levi Dobson also puts together his own band, including the xylophone he got as a Christmas gift. Pseudo rap to the electronica erects a billboard “You are Welcome to My World.” Every album should come with that warning.

Xmas Instruments: Windchimes

Tintinnabula make music out of chaos, just like real artists do.

Darlingside tries the beat poetry approach with “Can’t Help Falling Apart,” an existential cry for help sometime after Christmas (calendrically, not according to their heart. New age indie.

In a metal world, “Aurora Borealis” takes us to task for our shallowly material ways. Lemon Demon pauses over the wind chimes chiming with the screams. Electronic metal for the rest of us.

Xmas Instruments: Vocoder

The voice encoder doesn’t get much play, except for that guy who never talks to anyone. but it does exist.

I’m going out on a limb and suggesting that Nã©nuphar’s “Vocoder Christmas” is not simply Merry Xmas encoded. I’m hoping it’s all about the joys of sounding like you’re asking for ransom for the holidays.

Xmas Instruments: Synthesizer

A child of ’60s, a star in the ’80s, the synth made science fiction of music.

While synthesizers hum a cold and distant tune, “December Static” empties life of meaning for Leon Mondschein. Buzzy pop.

I Remember Old Computer (Christmas 1989)” from Additional Moog (James Leighton Williams) remembers the young joy of that new sound with electronic pop.

Chris Pace is startled to see “Jason Lytle’s Old Synthesizer (Is Underneath My Christmas Tree).” The Grandaddy frontman is nowhere to be found, but this indie tells the tale of his leavings.

Ex-Rental mourns the passing of real music when he hears “Christmas in a Synthesizer Age.” Rock/pop that writes history.

So, everyone wants one now, eh? Anna Jeter monotones the pop “Synthesizer For Christmas” expressing want, not need.

My Baby Bought me a Synth for Christmas” crows Luke Neptune with VERY electronic pop. Plenty of garbage presents, but never mind that. Now he rocks.

Phantom Planet Films brings us “Everyone Gets a Synthesizer for Christmas.” Repetitive pop, which works.

All I Want for Christmas Is a Synthesizer” from Evripidis and His Tragedies, Eliza Ariadne Kalfa is all i want from Xmas novelty. It puts its money where its Moog is.

Xmas Instruments: Fife

This military piccolo brings the family into formation, in time for the holidays.

For instance, yet again the WWI football match truce at Christmas is represented by Kerry Patrick Clark is a folk letter to “My Dear Sister Janet.” They had marched to drum and fife (in 1914??), so there was a soundtrack to war.

I’m a drummer boy, wontcha play my fife may be euphemism, but the sweaty jazz of “Jingle Jingle Makes Me Tingle” from GK Vocal Coaching’s Mia Messado is pretty impressive swing. Look–goosebumps!

Fife and drum is featured in the 17th C. “Patapan” (original title ‘Guillô, pran ton tamborin’ or ‘Willie, Bring Your Little Drum’ for the Nativity’s shepherds’ instruments). Keith Michael Roman rocks it though. And Big Bernie Burgundy or Bernie Money & His Wenches squeeze electronica and comedy into it so it becomes truly modern.

Insomnia.10

All Through The Christmas Night” is the soulful wish of Brian Culbertson who wishes to be held–by you–for that duration. He’s not sleeping, but he’s not exactly waiting for Santa.

The InfiniTeens also express an evergreen wish to be with you “All Through the Night.” Indie new age wistfulness. Kinda cute.

Not to be obvi, but another adult “Santa is Up All Night (To Get Toys).” This VaporWave parody is brought to you by Random Drivel Records.

Stockings, etc.

Are stockings just one more prop for the set designer Xmas Day?

What kills me, is the song that shopping-lists all the Christmas cliches without any concern for coherence or storytelling. F’r’xample: Downie Street Collective’s pop anthem “Christmas Stockings.” A regular ‘Didn’t Start the Fire’–only without any mention of stockings that i can discern.

Christmas Stocking” from Jakolev parleys retro electric folk rock into easy listening so completely i don’t get whatever the song’s about.

Happy Christmas – To You and Everyone” comes from 3Berlin (feat. Robert Metcalf). It’s a red-nosed roster of different languages. Traditions come up, too–like candles, tinsel, and stockings.

Emility stutters through the electronica of “Christmas Stocking” as if it didn’t matter, or he’s having a stroke. I feel itchy all over now.

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When Santa’s done with you–? What then?

Uncle Eddie (feat. Joy) feels left and “It was Santa Claus.” Mostly this is about getting nothing for Xmas, but the blues are comprehensive. And there may be touching.

Santa Left Me (On Our Last Date)” blubbers out Sheila Powers. Rock to cry over.

Santa Broke Up with Me on Christmas” is the experimental garage psychedelia from Stone Cold. Wah.

BrikLikesChicken is more poractive with the silly electronica “I Wanna Break Up with Santa Claus.”

The Man in Red

Worth repeating: “Hooray for Santa Claus” has been covered in multiple covers since its 1964 De Lugg premiere in that movie back then. But i didn’t know Al Hirt hit it the same year (before it was ironically acclaimed). Now i know.

Sounds of Blackness grab some gospel in their uplifting “The Jolly One’s Here.” Too much? Not for SANTA! (The nasally rap interlude undercuts it some.)

Experimental bar singing from Hot Buttered Elves makes “Papa Noel” suspect as an icon. But he can take it. Nonsense scat helps.

Galloping jazz from Jmaq urges Santa to keep on keepin’ on. But “The Way to Go” is a proclamation of how the protagonist will gamble his day to day against the naughty list. Motivational!

Echolalia afflicts the awestruck King of the Internet in his experimental electronic “Santa Santa Santa.” He’s here!