Are You Kidding Me?

More pissing and moaning from The Ottomen in “The Worst Christmas Day Ever.” Excellent salubrious pop rock, but–? (Misheard lyric: everyone is bayonetted on Christmas Day.)

Eric Idle as Slyly the arctic fox schools Rudolph (a reindeer) about how “It could Always be Worse.” Show tune follies.

Kicking garage from Jonee Earthquake Band make the case that “(This Must be) The Worst Christmas.” I tend to believe their cry for help.

’80s electronica details “The Worst Christmas Ever.” Broken blender = no smoothie! Despite the real sax and synth, this is all retro (about Covid-19!). Go, Vapor Music, go!

Damn That Holiday: devil.6

Helen McCookerybook la-la-la-las a dialogue between the devil and Santa. “The Devil’s Christmas Stocking” is kidsong/folk about hope but stops half-way through. Maybe next year.

Justin Brown Durand rattles off some weird childish poetry to electronica about “Christmas in the Devil’s Desert.” Like with Dante, that’s a cold place. Don’t try this at home.

Two Little Devils” refers to naughty ones at Christmas. King Truelove and the Relics import just enough rockabilly to make me believe.

MX-80 spent “Christmas with the Devil” and they have a few revelations to share with you about that. Spoken rhymes over experimental music. Wild stuff.

X Files-mas: Yeti

Thinking bigfoot and yeti are the same is like comparing a native of Atlanta with one of Tbilisi (both from Georgia, get it?)–ridiculous! So let’s party with our Himalayan friends. {A previous week of Abominable Snowman songs has already come and gone on the blog. So let’s get new ones.}

Scary red eyes and whatnot from Lightning Inside You recounts the coming of age every boy must face: cutting down a tree in the wintry woods while dodging “The Christmas Yeti.” It was a near thing. Folk horror.

Michael Scott Dublin (feat. George McMahon & Claire Ivory) wonders what you should do “If You Met a Yeti.” Lots of good alt-pop tips. (Hint: no racing!)

Bear Ron struggles with rhymes when he considers “Christmas With a Yeti.” Improvvie blues.

Teddy and Betty Yeti” try being good to get presents, but as The Superions sorta sing they don’t know from human. This EDM spoken word confrontation with Santa gets grisly as they eat the North Pole-ians. Ew.

A Slippery Slope.15

The Bunny Slope is for toddlers. CoComelon pushes the xylophone for the instructional kidsong “Ski Song.” Send the adults to bed to play this one.

The Micronaut uses some countdown electronics to take us “Skiing.” Occasional leaps make it frosty.

AVH Muzak introduces us to the philosophy of “Skiing” via spoken word and EDM. Everybody get down tonight.

Sled It Snow.23

Toboggan is just another word for sled, though it may have referred to First Nationers’ hauling sledges, like Santa’s.

Tim Rosenau returns grabbing his toboggan in the rocking “It Snowed.” Shreddin’.

A Group of Eyebrows Take the World Lead in Toboggan Sleds” is experimental garage nonsense from ColdmaN5. Listening to it doesn’t help understand it. Take the ride to the random sound effects.

JJ Rivers playfully sings about his love’s broken neck in the novelty EDM “Tobogganing.” But it’s a mispronunciation problem.

Cowabunga Christmas.18

Christmas in Los Angeles, California is all about the sunburns and freaks, yeah? Oh–and surfing!

Let us not forget The Boxmasters crooning “Christmas in California.” Loungey doo wop shines a light on the plastic culture. We may hang ten.

Heather Noelle Holley gives us “Merry Christmas from LA” with all the pop trimmings. I guess surfing gets a shout out near the end.

Sameer Whittle layers electronica over jittery vocals for a “California Christmas.” It’s a bit blue, but so’s the ocean

Christmas Countdown: 44

This Christmas” is a soaring soul dreamy wish interrupted by rap by Captain E, Zion, & Dewe. The rap gives in to inner city anger with the guns (44’s), loss, and disaffection. Not sure this romance angle’s gonna work out; still, wish ’em hopefulness.

A loaded 44 is the problem in “Green and Red,” a road rock of a rollicking tragedy. See, the color left the elves when he snapped is hidden in the title of the song. That’s Vinny the Comb for you.

Sampling the old Blondie ‘Rapture’ Blondie remixes with Fab 5 Freddy for a dissociative rap “Yuletide Throwdown.” Not sure of the merry merry merry here, but it guess it’s cool Like a Son of Sam with his .44.

Marvelous 3 lets it all hang out with the rocker “Merry Christmas.” The abusive household full of dysfunctional self destructive caricatures is the backdrop for the holiday cheer. Don’t worry, Daddy’s got a new .44.

No more guns! The Fiery Furnaces has a show for us… While “Rehearsing My Choir” around the holidays The bishop was on the phone Wanting the choir to go and sing On some channel 44 thing. Well, no, then trouble, then meetings, then– this atonal experimental amusement is gone from view, too far over the edge. Fall with them.

Christmas Countdown: 489

A masterful mix, “ReDoin” conjures the H.H. Gregg company’s mad sales tactics into a hypnotic electronic rhythm. JerryTerry may not have come to bury the Chpter 11 (now online) tech store, but to praise it–the beat is so good. BTdubs, the 489 is the highest priced item, the LG 42-inch HDTV. At these prices why buy the warranty–you can buy another in two years!

Christmas Countdown: 602… BLUE ALERT

Tradition” is a lame title for a missed holiday connection(Flight 602 from Laguardia To Phoenix Arizona)broken heart, but the soul of Campanella pitches beautiful woe over the long distance… then, wait for the happy ending surprise!

May have missed a gem… Martin Tielli has some crazy experimental notions on music. “Sergeant Kraulis” (I am 60238 in the narcotics division) is about a wild Wednesday around Christmas in the ‘life’ of a policeman who is psychedelically tainted, taunted, and smoked. I’d tell you more but i listened to this twice now and i have to go lie down.