Santa doesn’t get propositioned for nothing–!

Smashing that chimney dumper has happened before ’round the blog.

BLUE ALERT for the straight. Sukihana keeps it transactional for Santa. She’ll be the triple “Ho Ho Ho” so long as she gets gifted. Mad rap.

Good girls sound more like Mellee Fresh when she’s synthing “Santa You Promised.” She wants jewels, a car, and her sugar daddy.

Cookies for goodies? “Santa Got Me Trippin‘” is the industrial rap (with R+B) about macking on the big man (or his missus), but not without a price. From Dunst and Friends.

Mary Criddell wants a “Santa Rockafella.” She doesn’t make offers, but she does leaning the rockabilly especially hard. Everything’s dirtier when rockabillied.


Retrospect mashes up old carols for the DJ kicker “Santa Says We Have to Go.” Play it for the relatives who stay late.

Hex’s “Shatter Claus” is not the Santa you know. ‘Though he might be like the Santa we heard about on the fourteenth. Nasty rap.

Santa’s Little Lamb” is possibly the WORST Santa we’ve met. If you don’t put the cookies on the plate, all bets are off! Spoken experimental weirdity from h_double.

Santa as Seen on TV” is kneeslapping with a side of irony from The Christmas Jug Band (feat.Tim Eschliman). They haul washboard!

Also, look out b/c “Santa is a Creeper!” Make Like Monkeys retro the rockabilly with warnings about this B&Eer. I’ll violate your habitat! Oh, no!

Me, Myself, & Icicle Breath

I am the Santa” from Fuck You & the Xmas Trees is loud, proud garage anger about who’s who. And BLUE ALERT, everyone!

I’m So Santa” is less certain. Sensitive Men layer indie with a form of rap that trips all over its apolojetics.

UZworm rocks out the R+B with a carrot/stick Santa who barely qualifies as “Jolly.” Watch out, Johnny!

Winterval pushes electric folk up the indie with the funtime “I’m Santa Claus.” It’s chores for him; it’s cool for us.

The Dollyrots give us a warts-n-all picture of Mr. Presents, but we idolize the smarts and smells “Because I’m Santa.” Awesome ‘billy–in love with this parody of their own ‘Because I’m Awesome.’

Have Yourself a Hairy Little Christmas

What Have You Done to Your Hair?” is the alt rock refrain Harrison Lemke suffers when visiting the older relatives in Central Oregon for the holidays. Your choices matter; but your rationales don’t, groomer.

Duck Dynasty‘s The Robertsons bring the down home country down to the level of sweet family cliche in “Hairy Christmas.” They’re shaggy, armed, redneck, but Christian.

Christmas Hair” from Joy Riding is another family dynamic. Young people partying need to fix up their best features like there’s something wrong with them. Indie rock with regrets.

Mr. Husband rewards our patience with the laid back rockabilly “Christmas Hair-Do.” He also wants to look his best: beehive? pony tail? afro? What’s a boy to do to look good?

Gunna Celebrate.255 Jeffery Rook

Why stop at shooting one?

Whoville Massacre” by N4TURALS is that kind of death metal where the message is in the bleeding ears.

Nurf (Feat. moonie & Emilyn) go melodic psycho kidsong with “Santa’s Little Helper.” This helper helps murder everyone, ‘cuz she got socks. Damn.

Welcome back Angry Johnny & The Killbillies bemoaning in rockabilly how “Daddy Won’t be Coming Home for Christmas” because of all the people he shot and killed. Apparently the shopping didn’t go well.

Gunna Celebrate.250 Savage

Santa wants to kill them, but The Cakewalk’s got a gun, so in the meatlistic “Christmastide” it’s a Mele Kalikimaka standoff. Don’t blink.

Teenage Disaster has a gun, but it’s “A Disatrous Christmas” for everyone. Everyone seems to get shot here, including you. Metal but spoken.

Joby the Artist has a BLUE ALERT confession: “This Christmas (I’m Boinking Santa).” After yearning and dirty details, Santa (the slut) is caught with the brother’s wife… Ergo, time for a gun (and a knife?). Slow indie pop.

Gotta flashback for a minute to Angry Johnny and The Killbilles, the kings of feral, backwoods Xmas gunplay. “Six Bullets for Christmas” is a psychobilly take on curing infidelity, while “Bang Bang Baby Bang Bang Merry Christmas” is the same but the knee jerk reaction of catching them in flagrante delicto. Nobody hurts so good.

The Vaudevilles rockabilly the tale old as time: “I Shot My Baby for Christmas.” What’s he going to get her?!

Yo Ho Ho Ho-X Marks the Spot

Jason Andre admits “It’s Hard to be a Pirate at Christmas.” Not just fighting the Kraken, but also being too naughty for Santa, and no red decorations. Visions of looting the sleigh, just isn’t enough. Well acted shanty pop.

Phreddcat pits Santa Claus against Christ in the allegorical “Merry Pirate Christmas.” This wild jazzy ride borders on rockabilly, so it’s fun and meaningful, too.

On Track to Xmas: Refill That Firebox!

Santa Train!

Patty Loveless hillbillies the country of her “Santa Train” with all the insouciance of a true Nashville star. Clickety clack!

Blake Shelton twangs the nasal chambers for his own “Santa’s Got a Choo Choo Train.” Lots of country fussin’ for this repeat.

The better reprise is The Tractors’ “Santa Claus is Comin’ (In a Boogie Woogie Choo Choo Train).” This is gold.

Santa’s Train” from Artie Rossi & The Duck Band has a killer sax backup, but this rocker needs to be on the BACK porch.

According to The Hipwaders, Santa is coming down, down, down in “Santa’s Train.” Check out the inventory, this line is loaded. Rock’n’roll, but still a little country.

The Dellatones rockabilly “Santa Special” like they’re having fun. It might be as much fun as i have listening to this party favor. Woo woo!

Breaking the Ice.16

Josh Bogert wants to get lost with you in a “Christmas Village.” This pop microscope looks over the ideal jollities therein, incl. frozen pond fun.

What does “Christmas Mean to You“? Jesse Reid shares his pop/rock vision with cocoa and gingerbread after skating. Or just time with you. Okay.

Christmas With the relatives has India Ramey’s equanimity and poise skating on thin ice. Her cure-all is a “Cocktail for Christmas.” MY cure-all is this honky tonkin’ rockabilly. Aw, that’s the spot.

Christmas Countdown: 94

A$AP Twelvvy gets all blerd with his rap: “12 Days of X-Mas.” I’m in a Santa suit Tree botanical, on 94th Street I’m a miracle Not for Comic-Con I’m a muppet boy begins the rap adventure of partying, shopping, and crashing. Don’t let the title scare you off, no repetition mars this swirl.

Back to the rockabilly! The Hollybells are lost, narrating: It’s not about the gifts Where’s my car I love this time of year I’m in aisle 94. “Christmas Simple” is just a swingin’ thing. Go, cat, go.