Christmas, Gimme a Break

Suffering from a recent breakup, Puuding finds “Christmas Without You” boring. R+B bordering on easy listening.

Asking for a break is the BLUE ALERT rap “Oh Comble All Ye Faithful” by F.Lobot. It’s not that they hate all your reason for the season, they just can’t be bothered.

The Christmas Jug Band don’t have much use for Yule, instead they proclaim “I Wanna Make a Holiday” that suits them better. I Can Do Better is the insincerest form of criticism. Bluesy zydeco.

Roy Zimmerman gets Dylanesque with “Christmas is Pain“, a folk diatribe whizzing all over the holidays from the 99%. Eat the rich desserts.

More folk, with driving pop, protests “The Hypocritical Christmas“. Matt Roach has an agenda to grind concerning all your unquestioning devotional frippery. He doesn’t give a shingle from under Santa’s feet.

The Mangles rockabilly “Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Break For Christmas)” with the provisio that they don’t wanna start a fight. But the Griswoldian effects of holiday working, shopping, and Santas weary their rocking ways.

Big Screen: Christmas Eve Pictures

Can’t Believe” is Eli Carvajal giving up all hope during the pandemic of 2020, even after watching millions and millions of sickening Christmas movies. Uke pop of the weird kind.

Together At Christmas” has Big Little Lions slapping pop with a hand clapping insistence cherishing traditions (movies!) at that time of the year. Sing-along!.

Movies playing are one more noise in the “Holiday Chaos” from CountrAI, yes that’s AI with a country (sort of) sound. Family fussin’ and feudin’.

Stumbling English piles up the customs in David Cavada’s “Christmas Melody“, a sluggish pop paean to some season somewhere. Movies are in there, i guess.

Sittin’ at the movies your hands in my Christmas jeans, rockabillies Nodrums (with drums) in the where-did-that-come-from “Christmas Jeans“. Holy what? Now i want some. Where did i put that list?!

Big Show: Horse Opera

How cold is it when YOU rodeo?!

It’s a Christmas Rodeo” has The Annual Christmas Album Band hootin’ and hollerin’ with a three syllable refrain: Ro-De-O! Fun caroldy.

Grim Fawkner begins with geometry, but “The Christmas Rodeo” leaves the chute with figurative and literal glee. That’s real cowboy country.

Cowboy Christmas Rodeo” by Too Much Perspective is surf rock from AI, so… huh?

LenneBrothers Band save us from all this AI with their “Wild West Rockabilly Special.” It’s rockabilly, down to the jerry lee lewis piano riff. Go, cayuse, go.

Getting Up Christmas

Isaac Stancill interprets the tale of the early riser who glimpses the GIFTING, but is intercepted by an elf who enchants the child with “Jingle Jingle Twinkle Twinkle.” Country kidsong about getting flashy thingied like in ‘Men in Black.’ Very entertaining.

When You Wake Up In The Morning Feeling Like A Happy Kid” is a recitation from J. Maunders about the difference between this one morning and all others. Poorly done indie.

Rockabilly should roll you outta bed like a PeeWee Herman device, so here comes Kevin Sisson with “Wake Up, Wake Up.” That’ll do, gig, that’ll do.

Polysomnography: Blackout

Sometimes holiday sleeping is chemically imposed.

VÉRITÉ serves “blackout christmas” as a gentle jazzy lounge number. It’s heartache AND hangover after she drinks to regret.

Hunky Newcomers also have a “Christmas Blackout,” but their punk passion is drug enhanced. Ouch.

The American Dead figure hard rockabilly for “The Ghost of Christmas Passed Out.” It’s just drinking alone, depressed, and–you know–un-jolly. Party of one.

NASTY METAPHOR Stocking

Pick up that holiday stocking, feel it, run it through your imagination. If you’re a guy, it reminds you of something (and so does everything else).

Steel Panther’s “Stocking Song” is just innuendo (and kazoo) enough to raise an eyebrow. Metal up, boys.

Hey, what’s that IN “My Christmas Stocking“? Earl Green part raps/part country pops the endless double entendres for your listening pleasure. Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong….

B3 the Third dances around his “Stocking Stuffer.” But there’s a BLUE ALERT in this sprightly rap. Finally.

Scuzz Twittly’s “Fill Yer Stocking” is sommat better than the usual rockabilly chockablock with wink winks and nudge nudges. No BLUE ALERT per the text, but–oh, my.

Stocking HOP

Sock hop!

Sounding like an encore, The Creole String Beans rock out in a kid friendly way for the “Rocking Christmas Stocking.” Dance, children, dance!

The Animal Christmas Do” is some kickin’ kind o’ party Down Under. The way Amber Lawrence spins this down home country kidsong, the stockings are kept clean of poo. Good on ‘er.

What gets me up to strut is some good ol’ rockabilly, by Various Artists. So, welcome “Keep on Filling My Christmas Stocking” (especially with orthopedic inserts for me). Go, flats, go!

NO CHIMNEY

Santa still comes when there’s an absence of chimney, right?

The Dumpster Company pop through the options with their “No Chimney.” Pick one!

Through the radiator? The window? “No Chimney (2020)” by The Clapis Cousins frets and puzzles the problem. Ukulele pathos.

If I Don​’​t Have a Chimney” is only the beginning of the problems for The Christmas Jug Band. More country than jug, this three hanky weeper wanders through the wonderings of a poor child. (No fireplaces at the shelter….)

Ain’t No Chimneys In The Projects” soul declare Sharon Jones & The Dap​-​Kings. Still some blessings, tho. Funky funky schooling for you ‘burbanites.

Santa, No Chimney” bewail The Bad Companions. Rockabilly with extra points for that extra syllable in ‘chimney.’ Points off, however, for the backup plan. Still–cool. (Or would you prefer The Osmond Brothers with this novelty.)

Satyromaniac Santa.1

Santa isn’t just loved, he’s loving. He’s after all the womens! (And several of the mens as well.)

This is a familiar topic from before. Let’s expand our susses.

Again! Chris and Bri set up the he-said/she-said torch song “Santa Claus Stole My Girlfriend” with classic comedy writing. If only he’d known Santa was single!

Santa Stole My Girlfriend” from The Maine indies the trauma (you bitch!), while blaming the self (I should’ve known). Regret runs deep.

Aaron Trippin brings the full force of modern electric country to declare “It’s a Good Thing Santa Ain’t Single” or else he’d be Jolene all over the world.

Thee Elfmen rockabilly about that “Cruel Yule” when he took Baby away. Sound slick, but it ain’t cool

Santaphilic.15

Santa doesn’t get propositioned for nothing–!

Smashing that chimney dumper has happened before ’round the blog.

BLUE ALERT for the straight. Sukihana keeps it transactional for Santa. She’ll be the triple “Ho Ho Ho” so long as she gets gifted. Mad rap.

Good girls sound more like Mellee Fresh when she’s synthing “Santa You Promised.” She wants jewels, a car, and her sugar daddy.

Cookies for goodies? “Santa Got Me Trippin‘” is the industrial rap (with R+B) about macking on the big man (or his missus), but not without a price. From Dunst and Friends.

Mary Criddell wants a “Santa Rockafella.” She doesn’t make offers, but she does leaning the rockabilly especially hard. Everything’s dirtier when rockabillied.