Month: October 2019

WAR! what it’s good for

In a more innocent time, we sang Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays in the same song. No one thought a thing about it. Let’s do that, hand in hand, you rascals.

Robert Earl Keen accentuates the absurdity of the trailer trash with trombone in the plodding “Happy Holidays Y’all.” This cut includes two takes (second on has slurring and cracking up). Oompah country.

N’Sync gets the corn roasting with “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.” This unfiltered fluff should have opposite sides settling out of court in a hurry. Perhaps Pentatonix is more your cup of Sanka. Pretend Motown for the preteen set.

Adam Hicks feat. Ryan Newman from the Disney show Zeke and Luther zoop up “Happy Universal Holidays” for one for all. ADHD pop.

Let’s settle the bill with invision haling us with “Happy Holidays,” a greeting for one and all. Or, an egregious alt assault on our sensibilities.

War: the final solution

The last word on The War on Christmas debate comes from Unsinn Quatsch. Don’t be too happy about anything and you won’t offend anyone (not even mimes nor alpacas). So don’t say Merry Christmas. Don’t say Happy Holidays. Instead restrict yourself to the cry “Apathetic Cryptic Epoch”! This helium-voiced pop jingler hits all the right notes by hitting all the wrong ones. (Although there is a cop-out ending.) Thanks, Jason Pitsch!

WAR! what did you do, Daddy? (slight blue alert)

War on Christmas got you down, bucko? Hit default, darling.

“Everyone’s a Christian at Christmas” debates Eric Branget, Julia Pastorius, and David Burrows from Another Fucking Christmas Play: A Fucking Musical. Didn’t the High School do that last year?

WAR! armistice

Can’t we just go back to season greeting? Must it be belligerent?

Well, on the one hand, Scott Anthony Andrews maintains he’s still like a child this hopeful time of the year. “I Still Say Merry Christmas” is less about taking a side, and more about merriment, despite the cheesy synth country.

On the other hand, “Don’t Wanna Hear No Merry Christmas” is a cry of alt pain from Kittywinder because it’s a sad time of the year. Be a little sensitive!

WAR! what nonsense (BLUE ALERT)

The chaos and madness of battle can drive us up the Walmart. The War on Christmas has befuddled a few.

“If There’s a War on Christmas (Christmas is Winning)” teeter totters us around the room with gleeful showtune childishness from Lauren Mayer. Oh, yes, she is Jewess. I think that’s part of it.

Macarone sultry raps out “The War on the War on Christmas.” I can dance to it, but i can’t follow the soul train of thought. (BLUE ALERT)