Roll On: Frances

Whether from the new nation of Franks or some throwing axe, FRANCES likely means free. And comes in so many easy to handle forms.

Liam Thomas applies the amateur music hall side show performance to get us to notice his mother, “Frances C (Sitting at the Top of the Christmas Tree)“. What?!

GIFT-A-SONG may be a smear for hire, as when it uses AI to conjure the R+B tribute “Francis’ Festive Fart Symphony“. Personal, cheerful, irreverent… for whoever this guy is. Something to play at his funereal in time to come.

Accuchannel is perhaps more complimentary with their AI electro-dance number “Holidays With Francine – A Festive Funny Christmas Dance Song“. Everyone seems to like her, but i’m not sure if she’s real.

Hoggle’s Jewelry hammers the garage of “Fran Spoils Christmas“. I hear the dissatisfaction with modern life, but who’s this Fran? What did he do?

François Villon may or may not be a celebrity (15th C French poet/criminal?) But Doug Stoothoff’s “A Very François Villon Christmas” is an incredibly weird journey into –holidays?!

“Christmas in the Barrio” is spoken corrido from The Hot Buttered Elves. Cisco’s up to know good up on the rooftops here. BLUE ALERT, Santa!

“Christmas Time” by Filip Blazic (feat. Francesca Roggerone) is beat poetry set to chamber pop music. Franny’s mouse apparently is stirring in this house. Go figure.

Eugenius celebrates hard with “Eggnog” until his friends show (including Frannie). Then the rapping gets… the same.

Frankie Traandruppel gets personal with his doo wop friendly pop “A Merry Frankie Christmas“. I think he means it.

“Frankies Rockin Christmas” might not be AI. If not, Frankie Rockin’ Smith is taking his RnR stoically.

Definitely AI “Frankie (Come Home for Christmas With Me)” churns doo wop into sentimental pop. Send your complaints to MusicHQ Hitlist.

Sheeps has a friend, Frankie Five (Godfather reference?), who shines when they’re “Steppin’ in Fer Santa“. Bandmembers Liam Williams, Daran Johnson, Alex Cartlidge, Alastair Roberts swamp up the blues rock proudly. Go go go.

TwinBROduction slops more AI with the easy listening soul “Where Our Hearts Belong (Christmas Version)” in which Frankie curls up at their wistful feet. (Dog? Faithful servant?)

An actual dog named Frank hides while Robert Bergeron hollers blues in the shape of “My Christmas With You”. Seems pretty desperate.

AI doesn’t know from honky tonk. So, “Rockabilly Christmas” supposedly by Mountain Rio barely cracks a country smile. Frankie on the dance floor notwithstanding.

How “Frankie the Snowman” became a thing, I’ll never know (the cool factor?)–but Mute Frank describes his mutant form with rock; Crude But Effective describes his butthole with AI kidsong; Stay Tooned (ft. G Fella) makes him a guido with Joisey rap. Embarrassing.

“Merry Christmas Frankie Angel” by Alright is throat shredding punk metal that prolly wishes well. Who can tell?

The Feast of the Seven Fishes is an Italian tradition for Xmas, so when Tony Trov sings “If You Give Me Seven Fishes” then he’ll feed them all, including Frankie and Deano and Mary and Giuseppe. Lounge pop what leaves behind a steamy film. Hella fun (even if all his friends are imaginary rat packers).

When Tom McLoughlin is blues rock “Doin’ Christmas Time” one of the inconveniences is Fat Frankie singing ‘Jingle Bells Rock’ on repeat. Mercy!

Matt Spainhour wishes “Merry Christmas, Uncle Frank” despite not knowing him or being related. That’s the power of folk music. Jesus makes a cameo.

More likely a relation, Art Paul Schlosser’s “Uncle Frank’s Christmas Message” is a rambling voice mail with deranged lyrics. Time for an intervention.

AI rebukes Uncle Frank with the boogie woogie electro-slop “Santa Left the Building“. Zii EDM wants to amuse us with the bitter dregs of Xmas aftermath.

Wait–there’s an Uncle Frank in ‘Home Alone’? “Wishin’ Them All Away” names names with swinging lounge slop from The Polinski Swing Orchestra.

Jack and Jill are relatives in the amusing rap “Christmas in ‘Hampton” via DubleAADank. They’re not angry so much as angsty.

DJ Get Jammed attempts to honor ‘It’s Always Sunny’ with an AI swing pop “Christmas Blows“. Danny DeVito’s Frank doesn’t fare well in the retelling.

“Darling Lorraine” marries Frank, according to Paul Simon’s folk rock. They hit some marital bumps. But, she makes him pancakes for Christmas. That’s love.

Antsy McClain and the Trailer Park Troubadours make a much welcomed return with “Frank the Christmas Turkey“. Kidsong polka about the fear of death.

The Christmas Jug Band (feat. Greg Dewey, Dan Hicks, Tim Eschliman) decry their “Christmas Shopping Blues” in proper jug band fashion. Even Frank draws a blank at the bank.

Santa asks Frank for tips when it’s a “Dolla’ Store Christmas (Badd Santa Cut)“, a funky blues screed from CM CityBillies. Stanky good.

The Frank in “Beatnik Holiday (A Spoken Word: Halloween and Christmas – More Similar Than Not)” from Fans of Jimmy Century might be of the -enstein’s Monster variety. And yet this experimental homage is not without its charms. [Song’s as long as the title… get comfortable.]

“Festive Frank is a Good Guy” especially at Christmas time. Love Note to Dexter sings a smash note in the key of addled pop. Awesome.

True novelty, “A Nice Italian Christmas” from Gary Giampaolo (Carly Giampaolo, Riley Giampaolo, Lauren Adoram Kershner) has all the timing and stereotype of a Bugs bunny cartoon. Frank’ll bring the bread.

Frank wishes “Frank You for Christmas” with punk undertones. Challenge accepted.

Roll On: Florence

FLORA means flower. FLORENCE means flourishing. Sisters, or identity crisis?

David O’Doherty honors his passed pet in the comic “Florence Falls“, Florida lounge that addresses this horrible, biting monster over the ages–including when it tore open all the Xmas gifts. Miss you!

Australian kidsong from Itty Bitty Beats lifts up “Florence the Christmas Flamingo“. Yet this worldwide avian gets the Central American beat. A-yo a-yo a-yo.

Uncle Joe (crazy) accompanies Aunt Flo (cranky) in the “Holiday Tug-of-War” AI country pop from The Bearded Peter. See, families fight over who will host the big get-together. But they’re all weird and off-putting. Weee!

“It’s a Merry Aussie Christmas” tries to one-up itself with all the odd traditions and paraphernalia of Down Under. Michelle Vogel includes Uncle Dave’s flatulence, and Aunt Flo’s dietary restrictions. Lively kidsong rock.

Roll On: Finn

Not simply a person from Finland, FINN was blessed (as Fionn) by the salmon of knowledge in Irish folklore, so it means blessed–or white.

Jake and Finn are out in the cold facing “The Ice King“. It’s Christmas time for Jorgeezy, so even colder than his modulated electronic rapping.

coolthekid also seeks answers from Jake and Finn, and the Lion and the Witch, and Peter Pan and Wendy… all the while celebrating in the glow of his Xmas “Nightlight“. More rap, with R+B filling up the margins. It was all a dream.

Santa looks for Finnegan Fox in Let’s Sing Together’s kidsong “It Looks Like Christmas To Me“. Just takes a fox. And a bit of jazz.

AI can’t spell that, so “Finnigan’s Christmas Wish” is Antonios Valamontes’s fox fairy tale kidsong for the season. Thumping pop.

In “Christmas Markets” by WSBP, Finn’s too poor to shop for the holidays. And Sara and Beth are too bored. A big meh. Tentative vocals over electronica.

Roll On: Felix

A Roman nickname, FELIX goes to the lucky.

John ‘JC’ Carradus (A.k.a. JC’s ‘Should Be’ Band) made a mad fan parody of ‘JBell Rock’ for his cats, Felix and Bold (and rat Helix, also Percy the pigeon) titled “Felix Xmas Song 2020“. There’s a bit of work gone into it, so all right.

Of course, the misheard lyrics help “Felix Navidad (Squeeze & Shred)“
marred by the AI and German. Felix Shim

Not to mention the Afro-beats “Felix Cannot Dance“, an overhaul of the original’s lyrics. Kwan Pa has gentle fun with the old standard, in English (sometimes).

Teen chanteuse Emily Claire (and sister) complete our trilogy with “Felicia No it’s Not!” (Original Christmas Parody Song). This too-early twirler decides it’s rather be a Thanksgiving song.

Robert Poer uses AI to honor ‘Bob’s Burgers’ with the pop hop “Holiday Grill Groove“. All characters get a shout out, including pouting Felix the one-eyed landlord. Well, i had fun.

Little Felice relies on Backroad Syndicate (and AI) to confess to “Sleeping Under the Christmas Tee“. Big Band strategies on how to catch Santa in the act.

Roll On: Evelyn

Normanic French, German, and Irish all lay claim to EVELYN‘s roots. There are so many meanings we’ll just say what-you-will. And i thought it was the root for Eve. Not so much.

Now a song about a baby born near Christmas might make onto the blog. But a bluegrass rap about warring parents suggesting and rejecting dozens of names for said baby definitely needs a looksee. Although entitled “A Boy Named Snommit” Elastic No-No Band makes it clear that the mother-to-be, Evelyn, does not allow this to pass. This one’s a wild ride.

Wild mumbling garage, “Merry Christmas Evie” doesn’t pretend to be anything more than the title. Jamie Jarvie’s got some ‘splaining to do.

Emil Matters slouches into “Christmas with Evelyn” with part joy and part indifference. That’s where indie music’ll get you. Did you make her up, dude?

The cool number here comes from American Song-Poems. “Evelyn Christmas” has so much backstory for our loving, traveling crafter that it’s hard to know what this easy listening is about. Then i found out this Gene Marshall recording had a cover. The Shut-Ins add some groovy fiddling to reanimate this stuffed turkey. Love it.

Roll On: Eve

You know this one! EVE! Life! Yo!

Elizabeth Chan’s singing for her daughters in the jazzy belter “Christmas Forever“. One’s named Eva (pronounced Ava) (otherwise it’d sound like for-eva). Powerful.

In “Rehearsing My Choir” The Fiery Furnaces spin a story about a queer bishop who publicly condemns the storyteller’s sister, Eva. Enter, the Archbishop…. Experimental indie.

“Merry Christmas Eva” by Party The Hut and Friends is honkytonk indie that’s stuck on a girl. Sounds like a catchy one.

Bouncy AI pop seems the most digestible. “Eva’s Christmas Day” from Jolly Jukebox is as annoyingly fun as you wanna be.

Jamie Jarvie wishes “Merry Christmas Evie” with mashup genres (trad/beat box/sfx/rap), just so’s you know,

Peppa Pig has a baby sister, Evie. So her turns on trad carols might include a reference. Take “Last Christmas“, the same tune–but all about how EVERY Xmas is better than the last (which was the best). Does George Michaels know about this?

Eve appears in a million Xmas songs, rarely as a person. (English, thy name is ambiguity!) Despite the lack of punctuation, i’ll sneak in “Merry Christmas Eve” by Jeffrey Thomas Grivel (feat. Kat Palakovic) as if it were a particular wish to an individual. I like the sparkly, jazzy indie insouciance.

As a nickname, Mary mother of Christ, gets renamed bc “She’s the Christmas Eve“. (Joseph’s the Christmas Adam.) Ben Smith gets orchestrally indie with this wizard reflection on the Nativity. (I get a whiff of Hungarian waltz.)