Roll On: David

Boy, is DAVID an old name. Hebrew for close one, like uncle. But, i guess, a really old uncle.

The death of a son is courted in the country weeper “Little David’s Harp” here done by its orginators Dolly Parton and Porter Wagoner. Born blind on Christmas, he became a lover of music. So he never had a chance.

“Once in Royal David’s City” is a lovely standard about the ancestry of both JC and his birth spot. Gets loads of coverage. Sufjan Stevens is my goto with the unassuming folk singalong gusto. Lower Lights perks it up with bluegrass. Lizzy Hilliard causes dizziness with her a cappella rounds. Severe incorporates metal seamlessly. Jethro Tull remakes it into their own image. That’s my pick.

What happens when Biblical legend gets meme coverage? “6 7 Christmas” by Village Robot namechecks the son of God as the root of David. Had to squeeze in this electro pop for its own sake.

One more for the King of slings. “Homeless Sons of David” agendizes social problems with gentle folk. Joel Dobbins identifies with Jesus as trying the best with what he’s given.

Okay, a last King David reference. Jeff Lowe Psalms Project evokes Xmas chaos with the gentle folk of “I’m So Excited“. Reminder: J-man’s descent is through Joseph (waitaminute, there’s no direct lineage there! Call the press!).

More practical in today’s world, “Dave’s Snow Plow” is up before you are. Bangin’ country pop from Brent Reinders. Don’t get in Dave’s way.

Pineapple Dave really wants to rap out to Dave’s birthday in “A Dave n Frazier Christmas“. But, is he really dissing Xmas?

Slackers Anonymous are represented by Shama Mrema, PD Bachmann (ft. Abby Gilbert) declaring a “Broke for Christmas“. Rap battles R+B, but recommends listening to Dave Ramsey.

In “Christmas in New Hampshire, Pt. 3” 2000 Man loves David, hates Thomas. Mistletoe drama from the Northeast. BLUE ALERT rock.

Rocking Robin pops us home to meet the fam in “The Truth About Christmas“. Worst secret: Uncle Dave’s already drunk.

He’s still drunk on “Whiskey Christmas” when The Troumatics punk up the party. Hic.

This Christmas was so good Uncle Dave forgot to argue with the boss. In fact, so R+Bs Daniel millennial, it is the “Best One Yet“. Bouncy.

For AI it’s cousin Dave–he’s on a rickety chair!–who represents despair as “It Always Rains At Christmas (A Very British Holiday Disaster)”. James Ashby grabs credit for this slightly above average showtune.

Cousin Dave brought his crypto girlfriend in Rogue Tone’s “Tinsel Fight Club“, an AI rock rager. Cartoon violence ensues.

Although… Abelardo’s Uncle Dave is asleep in his chair, portending another “Christmas Disaster“. Jazzy pop with scat refrain.

RoBuz’s “Proper British Christmas” is fun melodic rap, wherein Uncle Dave’s singin’ loud on the microphone. More lively than the usual family get-together.

In jjwatson’s “Let’s Not Talk Politics This Christmas (I Don’t Want To Go To Jail)” Uncle Dave is of odd political persuasion. That Dave!

When Daniel Lee Becker starts opening boxes Xmas Day he exclaims “That Ain’t My Gift“. Why he keeps opening is a mystery. Even Uncle Dave’s shaving kit does not appease him. Indie pop.

Katie Dwyer & Sunflower Summit & Jessie Max wants to be the “Elf“, but worries that Dave’ll notice her making the nativity naughty. Flighty pop.

David tries to get Tracy to stay for Christmas, but Tracy replies “Tojo” never made it to Darwin. Hoodoo Gurus cracks the club rock whip, but all i hear is holidays.

Dave gets reminders, but he continually forgets to move that “Stupid Freakin’ Elf on the Shelf“. Glacial Erratic ups the tempo with rocking pop. Pretty novel.

Family Friendly Funtimes only wants “Dave Strider’s Butt” for Christmas. You had to be there. Experimental giggle-rap.

Then Dave got “Drunk on Christmas Cheer“, so he became fodder for a funky country diatribe from Chance Hunter. Not a complimentary portrait.

Davey stole a Christmas tree from the K-Mart last night, begins “Christmas in Paradise” by Mary Gauthier. He’s quite a character set in this alt country folk confession.

AI glee club brings us an “Indy Davy Christmas“, an odd mishmash of oddity and urbanity, attributed to Thomas MacArthur. I’ve room for it on the mantle.

Brief celeb sighting. Daily Reckless takes the piss with “David Attenborough, Where’s Your Camera?” Something to do with climate change and endless winter, but it sounds so Christmassy.

Black to the elderly! “Old Man Davie’s Christmas Kingdom” is Duotang’s great indie rock story about a bored store employee who hobbies fantastic decorating for the holidays in the storeroom. But, then the suits find out…

Roll On: Darryl [BLUE ALERT]

Also darling or from Airelle, DARRYL is practically a variant of Darlene. Who knew?

“Christmas in Hollis” by DMC allows ‘DMC’ Darryl McDaniels credit for the rhymes right there in the lyrics. You knew this was rap, right?

P.O.D.’s homage (ripoff?) “Christmas in Cali” gives the same credit. Rap, y’all.

AI for the response. Ozark Fever basically raps “Darryl the Redneck Reindeer” in this sorta country anthem.

Daryl introduces DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince for their “Family Christmas“. Cute kid. Light hearted rap.

Daryl Hall, on the other unlikely hand, seems to be the author from The Moist Boys’ rap “Not So Silent Night (The Party Song)”.

“Beep Beep“–the ‘sound’ of Rudolph’s nose–, is more AI from KimmerCPSS Lived Experience, countrifies Xmas chaos. Something about Kentucky here, so there’s a reindeer named Darryl. I am NOT following….

Chuck Worm And The Nite Crawlers follow Larry, Darryl, and Dad (the other brother Darryl?) for discount shopping in “Topless Christmas Tree“. ‘Sgot nothin’ on Charlie Brown’s. Comedy country with so much lounge you might shy away. BLUE ALERT

Roll On: Darren

DARREN hails from many a Northern European folk. In Gaelic it means Oak Tree. In Old English, darling one. In French, from Arielle. Terribly unpopular at the beginning of the Baby Boom, the Swingin’ ’60s brought it back.

Perhaps a nod to a British showman, “DARREN CHRISTMAS DAY” by Canadians In Space intones the name as a celebratory chant. Huh.

Nightheart entitles their what-to-do Xmas list “Darren“, possibly because he’s the naughtiest druggie biker ever was. He’s the opposite of nice. Don’t. Just don’t. Bluegrass pop.

Roll On: Darlene

A simple mispronunciation, DARLENE means darling. Duh.

Cody Johnson returns for his “Hat Made Of Mistletoe“, made to seduce Miss Darla, his eighty-year-old contemporary. Sprightly blue grass suitable for square dancing.

It’s a “Sad Teenage Christmas for Kebin and Oscar!” according to Kebin and Oscar. Apparently some Hawaiian vacay separates them from their girlfriends, Sweet Baby Raye and Darlene. R+B hair metal. Totally heinous.

Similar troubles for Matthew McLaughlin as sung in “Chestnuts“. Missing family they hope Darlene will sing help (ie, Darlene Love will sing his signature ‘Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)’ number).

In “12 Days of Amnesia” The Great American Trailer Park Christmas Musical reveals the hook of the plot: mean old fussbudget Darlene won’t join in on the trailer park decorations until she’s been hit on the haid. Country rock showtune.

Slidawg & the Redneck Ramblers bluegrass up “Did You Heared What I Heared?“, a tribute to Hey Watch This as a means to impress Darlene ‘cross the trailer lot. No Grandmas were killed in the promulgation of this prank.

Roll On: Darcy

From the Dark One–or just from Arcy—DARCY is a bit of an affectation. Originally male, it is now five times more likely that you are female with this appellation.

Kat Dennings did a goof on ‘Wenceslaus’ for an over credits song after a Marvel cartoon recently. “Darcy’s Christmas Song” is short, so sweet.

In “The Moment You End” Archers of Loaf retell falling for Darcy in an airport around the holidays. Garage punk for sudden romance.

Spoken rhymes “Darcy The Christmas Leprechaun” from Panic Moon Productions is a radio drama about fitting in… or not.

A folk song hero (from John Denver), Darcy Farrow, appears in Floyd Samson’s fanciful “Candy Cane Village“. Not deaths this time; skating and hot drinks in this folk pop.

Of course, Roger Whittaker’s “Darcy the Dragon” is the wildest Xmas folk tale. Folk kidsong.

Roll On: Daniel

As God is my Judge, DANIEL is a book in the Bible. 

One of my fave-o saxophone-driven pop noodles is The Rosebuds’ “Christmas Dan“. I picture a Giuseppe Arcimboldo portrayal kind of guy. He’s the coolest.

Also can’t pass up the opportunity to repeat the spoken word horror of John Tabacco’s “Daniel’s Sled“. There is a Daniel. There is a sled. There is a hell.

Might as well include Tom Waits’s cover of The Ramones’ “Danny Says” too. The pathos of an up and coming band on the road during the holidays is never better served than with laryngeal dystonia.

Little Danny Harper receives representation from Bailey and Zane · Randy Matheson. See, “He Sang His Heart Out (Every Christmas)” even though he warn’t very good. Country lesson in acceptance (didn’t know they had those).

Joe calls Dan to kiss his Kids on Xmas day, since he won’t see release until July. Paul Kelly wends through many country roads with a thoughtful concern about “How to Make Gravy“. Seven more friends and family get named, but i think i’ll keep this personal snapshot.

Danielle Apicella assures you know she’s unattached and looking for “Somebody Else For Christmas“. Someone calls out her name incredulous by way of prologue. R+B rapping.

Also lonely, because that bitch Danielle called out, Azmerous belts out the kvetching show tune “Holiday Weekend (Musical Version)”. It’s a work thing.

“Dani’s Christmas List” is a comedy bit from Microwave Miracles. Dad and Dani review 32 items–you’ll never guess what they are. Or be able to scrub them from your traumatized memory.

“Dani the Christmas Mouse” by Doc Mooney is a sped up voice about a holiday friend. Not sure if it’s kidsong, or drug-fueled prank.

Andy, Ben, and Carl want dumb stuff when Daddy asks. Danny, however, sings the country duet”All I Want for Christmas is a Dad who Doesn’t Drink“. Harshing the buzz, boy. Wickham Palmer Selection does not hold back with the passable AI.

Alder H. Linden involves neighbor Dan to find out who’s coming “Down My Chimney“. Dan solves the home invasion with whiskey and dynamite (or possibly a football team).

Daniel Gorgonzola wants you to have “A Very Daniel Christmas“. Not because he’s singing poorly. Because he’s Daniel.

“Christmas Is Cancelled, Daniel” sings Cordelia with a minor key desultory pleading that doesn’t seem to single him out so much as guide him. Can it indie.

“Christmas Daniel” is a bit of a boor, according to the jazzy indie by Another Banger. Doesn’t like Xmas. Is not a good lay. Brother.

Roll On: Dale

Think Hill and DALE, not Chip and Dale. He’s a low point, geographically–to Vikings and that sort, anyway.

Dale Hansen, probably not the one you’re thinking of, has an iconoclastic look at merry olde carols with his album A Very Dale Christmas. His self references are outdone only by his talentless gusto. There’s a genre here, like with Gangnam Style. “I Am Dale (Jingle Bells)” is gargle/mumbling about creeping (i think). “Whack the Heads (Deck the Halls)” offers the best of Dale to teenyboppers, too. Pervert musings start to spiral in “12 Days of Dalemas (12 Days of Christmas)“. Offers of condolence, include Dale is here and all teenyboppers must die in the culmination of “Oh, My (Silent Night)“. “Dale Hansen is Comin’ to Town (Santa is Comin’ to Town)” seems elder abuse.

Roll On: Daisy

A mispronunciation of day’s eye, DAISY is fresh, flirty, and a nickname for Margaret (?).

Sharona sweeps AI over the rock and roll of “Christmas Kitty Rocks“, about a pinball of a cat named Daisy. What a mess.

Shaffiate Ishmael honors “Daisy“, the Queen of Parang, with a Christmas parang for her. This must be Daisy Voisin who passed 35 years ago.

Bill Frandino’s “Daisy” uses her Christmas wish to keep Santa safe in a winter storm. Her impromptu song/wish is as bad as it is good. Spoken with kidsong.

Keepin’ it cheap, Wilson G. Firefingers strums out “Daisy’s Happy Christmas Song” like it’s the end of his set. Whew. Rock (after a fashion).

Jump blues return with the story of one Daisy Mae. “Hey, Santa (Hey, Daddy)” by Sweet, Hot & Sassy! is her list of greed and want. Sweet harmonies counterpoint.

Roll On: Cynthia

Named for a mountain, CYNTHIA is for those from Mount Cindy–summat like dat. [Ack-shooly, Cindy can derive from Lucinda, too. Isn’t etymology fun?!]

At the end of the punk “Christmas Is Killing Me” The Pretty Reckless claim No, my name is not Cindy. Why did i bother? (‘Cuz it Rox! is why.)

Well, that name might’ve come up as the foil for The Grinch, as rapped in “The Grinch” by The Frooty Four (feat. Lil Kimchief). Could be preteens here. Gonna need some ID….

Lil’Z Beats makes it weird mackin’ on Cindy Lou Who in “Whoville Christmas Eve“. Smoove rap with some R+B. [Damn but hip hop loves the Grinch story.]

Or mastering in euphemism like The Pretty Reckless in their return with “I Wanna Be Your Christmas Tree“. Country swing on the naughty list.

Charlie Russell uses Cindy Lou as shorthand, an allusion for a soul’s salvation in “I Found Christmas (When She Found Me)“. Showtune bombast for a quite thought.

Cake in Space uses her as code for personal friend of Santa, sort of. “Merry Christmas, Santa” is novelty rap with overly orchestrated shenanigans.

But then Ronson Kwan cynically refers to that lil girl as an annoying conscience in the freethinker “Mind Your Christmas“. Mind your business. Catchy folk indie.

I draw the line at Nick Nittoli’s BLUE ALERT politicizing of “Grinch” wherein the Green one is MAGA and Cindy Lou is the libtard. What a load of rap.

Room for a parody, though. Eclipse 6 a cappellas “Mean – The Grinch’s Wicked Story” as a tribute to both works. Cindy Lou makes a second act cameo.

TyMe WArp rap to another in “Merry Christmas Ebenezer“. Yeah, Scrooge gets a shout out. So does Batman. But, to the point, so does Cindy Brady. More youth busting’ rhymes.

Cindy isn’t always an innocent. In Jeremy Reed’s AI boogie woogie she’s an elf stripper at a joint called “The North Pole“. Mercy.

Jahnoi (Dale Virgo) carrib pidgins “Christmas Celebration” about the true meaning of Christmas, yet cautions against pickpockets and Cindy who has some kind of accent, according to a man who makes ‘boy’ three syllables.

Sadly, “Cindy Wants to Cry” on Christmas. Gary Wilson brings a fusion of experimental barbershop, reductionist indie, and industrial ragtime. Huh?

Andy Madi takes stalking to a new level with the melodica disco-esque Eurovision “Cindy“. You’ll be his by Christmas. Time for Witsec.

Roll On: Cornelius

Despite being the name of characters in Shakespeare and Harry Potter–and a Pope–CORNELIUS means one thing to us for Xmas. Horn colored!

“Yukon Cornelius (Bitcoins & Christmas 12-1-13)” as rapped by Syntax. the Terrific doesn’t much analyze our fave-o prospector. Just name drops. Charlie-in-the-box gets more airtime here.

Snowbunny Prospector nails the 20 second song with “Yukon Cornelius“. This AI ragtime pop reframes our hero into a hound, but c’mon–that hat, those whiskers… he’s a chick magnet.

At Jeff Beverage’s “Elf Christmas Party” Y.C. crashes the scene. Folk kidsong of some quality.

Kids Rap Radio sounds like you’d expect. “Reason for the Season” lists Yukon with Scrooge and the Grinch. Wait a minute, that’s hardly fair.

“The Ballad of Yukon Cornelius” may be homespun amnateurism, but Quinn David Furness applies ragtime piano and a slight twinkle to delight. Wah-hooo!