Year-round Yuletide oddities
Another elf ruler, ELRIC has all the euphony of a hairball coughed up. Sorry if that’s you. But, c’mon. Little pronunciation help here.
“Elric the Evergreen Elf” is booping AI signed over by Deep Sea Grooves · Mathias Huysmans. Saves Christmas. Persistent pop. Okay.
From the French Heloise, which is from the Greek Helios, ELOISE means sunshine, baby.
The dog whistle here is the ’50s spoiled brat kid growing up in Manhattan apartments. While Disney dumped a talentless holiday take on her, no songs were about her. However, Sharpe Made Music, Kaitlin Sharpe double the pop with “Best Friend Christmas“. The friends dream of a New York City Xmas, so just call us Eloise, they chortle. Huh.
A better evolution from Edelmeyer of the Old English, ELMER means both Edel or famous and Meyer or noble.
The recognizable connection (the reason so few kids are benighted thusly) is the Looney Toons one. So let’s sneak in a barely holiday classic, M.D.C.’s “Chicken Squawk“. This vegetarian diatribe demonizes hunter Fudd, while exonerating our T-givng and Xmas dinners. And a killer refrain to boot.
The 1994 cash-in album Have Yourself a Looney Tunes Christmas did NOT feature the then late Mel Blanc, but its “Christmas Chopsticks” has a lukewarm Elmer Fudd impersonation.
Since a speech impediment is risible, we also receive the mocking gift of “Elmer Fudd Christmas Classics“, Terry Ballard’s faux ad for a new holiday album lisping. It is to laugh.
I’ve already brought you “Elmer the Elf” songs, but Frank Rossi & Family’s tiny guy slipped my notice before. Oversight rectified. Shouted kidsong.
Nerf Herder claims “I Know what You’re Getting for Christmas.” Dubious? He names Johnny and Sally and little Elmer Johnson. He knows all y’all. Rocking indie.
Mitch Ruth as ‘Blind Slow Howling Muddy Slim’ introduces “Elmer the Christmas Woodchuck“. Amateur blues, but it funks. He’s a hero, bringing boogie to the children.
Since we can’t be bothered to pronounce Erasmus, we say ELMO. For the patron saint of sailors, it means protection.
Mike Bryant tries for another novelty Christmas song with “Elmo“. He’s a reindeer with a funny name. then Santa gets sick… (me too). Trouncing kidsong.
You were probably expecting Sesame Street representation. Say no more–! Interval recalls that old friend that got away. Some say she’s a Spanish anchor, others a jewel thief or that she faked her own death. Worst of all, comes the bell-ridden pop beat rumor that she’s a “Times Square Elmo“. He looks for you under the red fur every Xmas Eve.
Perhaps you’d prefer the AI kidsong monstrosity of “Elmo’s Christmas” as done in by TVKiDo. Sheesh.
Then there’s the R+B smoove love call “Coming Home” in which Digitized Inhalation states This elmo don’t burn the same/Without your glow within my frame. (Prolly that’s a reference to the 2012 ‘Hellmo’ failure fire of meme fame.) Oh… and it IS home for the holidays, what what.
ELLIOT? It means God is God. Covered.
“Elliot The Elf” is the idea Kids Fix decide could AI another Xmas smash. Missed it by that much. Kidsong about the happiest elf ever. Saves Christmas when Santa’s sick. That old one.
In “Another Sappy Xmas Love Song” Maja Francis admits to scratching your Elliot vinyl. So forgive and stand under the mistletoe. Honky tonk juke box.
Alestrom raises high pirates when it’s “Christmas With Alestorm“. They all drink rum. By name. Including Elliot. Raucous metal.
A wild divergence from Helen, ELLEN still means the same thing: bright lights.
Pamela Hines may be singing about “Ellen’s Christmas“, but i’m not sure who that is about. Languid lounge jazz.
AI punnery “Eileen the Forgotten Reindeer” gets her name from being short on one side. Still saves Christmas (doesn’t everyone?). Lively jazz kidsong a la Paul Eric Norwood.
Elena’s sax gets a mention in “Winter’s Chord“, wherein AI attempts jazz. Winter Sage reduces random to an algo. It’s what’s not programmed that makes meaning. Or is it just cut off at the end? [She reappears in the spoken word goth of their “Paternal Chord“.]
“All Elana Wants for Christmas is Friend Art” is a sad rewording of Mariah Carey. Bobo and Layla sell it, but there’s not much here here. In joke?
Ida’s “Joy” features an Ellen who is there. She doesn’t do much, but London Christmas swirls about her nonetheless. Guitar strong indie pop.
Anglized from a couple Hebrew spellings, ELIZABETH means swear to God, or something like that. Lots of nicknames available, so–the friendly type??
In “Mary’s Joy” Harrowind interrupts the immaculate conception tale with the introduction of cousin Elizabeth, who really got what was going on. AI pop rock.
“The Joy of Elizabeth” by Robin & Dorothy Mann further explains how this cousin was also pregnant, in a more conventional way, with some John baby. Spoken word with EZ gospelling.
Nicole C. Mullen does the slow pointed rap in “Christmas in Black and White” wherein Mary’s cuz Elizabeth has a miraculous pregnancy ‘cuz she so old. Boing.
The former Monarch of UK gets a going over with “Elizabeth“, BABY JAMES HALL’s folk rant that mentions Christmas Day’s platitudes. Gotcha!
Kid British’s “Elizabeth” may not be the queen, but she’s scarce around Christmas. Punk praise for a game gal.
sinnett water synths the rap for his Xmas obsession with “ELIZABETH!” Comes off a bit childish crush.
Aunt Beth & Charlie cut a check for the graduating niece when it was a cold white Christmas in St Paul. This “Cold White Christmas” from Casiotone for the Painfully Alone is a bleak indie indeed. The Twin cities’ll do that to you.
In WSBP’s “Christmas Markets” people could care less, specifically Sara and Beth. Despite the mulled wine, they have headaches from it being too loud. (Oh, now i get it.) More indie.
Top heavy wife of Dog the Bounty Hunter gets a in memorium sendoff with “Merry First Christmas in Heaven, Beth Chapman“. This Laura Marie post with music from The Piano Guys runs the EZ listening numbers over semi-gospel.
Buck the Taxidermist looks for joy on “Christmas Eve“, but his indie western music can’t even cheer Little Lizzie. Not that there’s anything right with that.
Perhaps bordering on the celebrity, Thomas Nagy’s “Merry Christmas Betty Crocker” actually founders with white bruh rap. But they’re earnest in their… admiration?
Also famous-ish, Betty gets a mentions part of the gang in “Archie’s Christmas Party” by The Archies. Pop, but not as retro as it could’ve been.
“Book of Psalms” from Shatta Wale needs close captioning, but he’s into his girl Betty. (I think.) Parang rap.
POP4’s “Fat Aunt Bette” gets us back to pop. But the upbeat doesn’t dig us out of our modern day malaise. Humbug.
Aunt Betty is just another family member in “Christmas Time“, a rap lowkey R+B from Bryon ‘Mr. Talkbox’ Chambers.
There she is again in the amateur country pop “A Cheesehead Country Christmas” brought to you by Cascia Talbert. I know it’s her homegrown song, but she can’t quite keep up with the music she chose.
But she’s a no-show when we’re “Together This Christmas” for Tim Ponzek’s family. Pokey lyrics, symphonic folk… a bummer, actually.
And Aunt Betsy is oblivious when Caucasian Mamba wants to “Put it in Your Ass (This Christmas)“. If falsetto R+B can make porn humorous, this would be that.
Although that same aunt is not amused by the chaos of Large Flying Mammal’s “Christmas Dinner Throwdown“. Metal madness what winds up with fists flying.
Betty Jo is just another one of the “Kids” at the family X-together, as crooned by Kenny Rogers. country pablum.
Betty (and Bob) are just some more neighbors in Robbie Williams’s sarcastic “Yeah! It’s Christmas“. Cool jazz with heavy sighing.
Betty’s is the place Marchetto AIs some bluesy rock into a “Margarita Christmas“. Heavy percussion, or that could be the hangover.
Betty Spaghetti is just another toy in “Christmas Throwback” by SR Will (feat. TaeShawn). Fun YA rap with sentiment peeking though.
Betty Lou is just another rural denizen where “Santa Stops In Unionville“. AI country hokum from JukeboxDreams.
Betty is more important in an allusion to Bob Pettit’s memoir explaining how “Santa Is My Boyfriend“, Geena Fontanella’s torch rock that’s just a bit defensive.
Bootscoot’n Betty and Friends namecheck her own self in “It’s Christmas Time in the Great Outback“. A bit of the old boogie woogie for this kidsong.
Betty Jo got rudders for her truck, according to Slidawg & the Redneck Ramblers in their interpretation of “Go Tell It on the Mountain“. Did she steal them? Sprightly bluegrass with hamming her haw.
Parenthesis… and acquaintances praise her bc “The Betsey Gets Me (Christmas special)“. A special lady for all this Brit pop slash psychedelia.
This toy seems more important in the portentous operetta “Kids Together” attributed to Edmonton Pops Orchestra, Ben Hill, Marie Hill
Midnight Radio chose an AI Josh Groban sound for their goth pop ballad “Join Betty“. Not sure the cult offered here, but things get dicey. Unless you take the Christmas escape. WTF?
Bessie Mae gets a Raggedy Ann after “Christmas Shoppin’ At the General Store“. Nevada Slim & Cimarron Sue mug and overdo their country to great effect.
Pete da Elf shares Walter Ghoul’s Lavender Brigade mod popping “Merry Xmas Elizabeth Kimbal“. This a cautionary tale with no way out. Like with that Eleanor chick. Psychedelia.
Dadaism lives. Lemon Melon may be relying on misheard lyrics, but “The Beth Christmas (Of My Entire Life)” rocks–in a repetitive, pointless way.
Championed by strong queens and active First Ladies, ELEANOR could be a form of Helen or could mean from some other place. Personally i would redefine it as kicks ass. (Even that Beatles’ downed wallflower inspired many to Live Laugh Love.)
Bit of a travel guide, “Eleanor’s First Christmas In Portland (Where The Hellanor Is She)” by Eleanor’s Christmas Present pursues an object of affection for the holidays. Jazz indie.
“White Woman Wonderland” from Pappy Smear Blues is AI done right. Swampy blues about privileged whiteys (Then flips out at Starbucks ’cause they spelled her name Nora) over the entire holiday season. Funny.
Well meant but AI-yi-yi cornball, “Nora’s Christmas Waltz” by Matt Joseph is a proud daddy celebration of his toddler. Great specifics, sing-song jazz sputum.
Ohly wonders what will happen “If I Go” right after Christmas. Will it mess up daughter Nora? Will he no longer exist? Would it make for a good movie? Folk indie cry for help.
Richard Shindell also adores his “Nora“, though she’s married to a man of God. Folk yearning (gets loud).
Arthurian variant of the Greek Helen, ELAINE means shine your little light on me.
GIFT-A-SONG did a husband proud when it AIed the country tribute “Christmas Glow for Elaine“. I guess that’s sweet.
Not so sweet is the R+B AI listlessness of “Ellie the Hardworking Elf” by SDO Studio. I demand a cage match with Hermey.
Trying for romance, but effecting am HR claim Lil’Z Beats raps out how Elle’s like a “Stocking Stuffer” in all the right places. Complimentary?
“Ellie’s First Christmas” from Sessions on the Green (feat. Parichad) is overpretty AI soul lite gospel. Inoffensive, to me.
Okay, too many names crop up with the dramatis personae roster in “Christmas in Dallas“, but Jukeclock 500 begins the TV showdown callback with Miss Ellie. EZ listening lounge that’s kinda fun.
Whimsical folk from Sim · Justina Kaminskaite, “Ellie Icicle” professes love and gets a response. Snowpeople frolics.
Deconstructionist indie from Richard Dawson, “Boxing Day Sales” moans about the modern day state of affairs. Tip of the hat to Ellie in there, though. Kinda awesome.
“Ellie the Christmas Elephant” is tuba kidsong from Itty Bitty Beats. But then she plays other instruments. Not well, ‘twould seem. Cool beans.
EDWARD could mean Mall cop for all OE tells us (wealth protector??).
AI hopes to hit gold with new kidsong. But “Eddie Elfington” ‘by’ Vald Music proves the machines still don’t get it.
Cousin Eddie’s part of the redneck crew gettin’ “Lit This Year“. Good ol’ country from Florida Georgia Line.
More back hills for Cousin Eddie (yeah, must be a Lampoon movie reference), Twins1981 uses AI to countrify “Merry Christmas, The Shitter’s Full“. Ha. Ha.
Then AI takes on The Munsters (how old are these programmers?) with “Scary Little Christmas Down on Mockingbird Lane” by The Creatures. Goth metal with a kid friendly lilt. Eddie Munster gets a call out.
Marc Copage returns to demand “Santa, Bring My Daddy Home for Christmas“. Big band kidsong with heart tugging. The kid demanding is named Eddie.
Ralph McTell grouses with classy symphonic prog rock about how “All Things Change“–except for the fairy on the Christmas tree. Big Eddie on the piano is still playing the same old same old.