“I Need to Focus on My Elf”

The Vietnam War causes “Another Christmas Without My Son“. The Rev. Oris Mays testifies over organ gospel for a message-laden revelation. It was 1970.

The corrido tune is gorgeous, but a bit is lost in translation for Loona’s “Another Christmas Without You.” What should be an adventure in searching for you, is instead I Miss You.

The Epileptic Hillbillys answer with flip out rockabilly in “Another Christmas Without You“. But, do they get back together? Does he move on? Explode? I’m too busy dancin’ to care.

Rocking out additionally, “Christmas I Am Going To Miss You” by Post War Decline devolves into a rut of guitar wagging indecision.

The Power of Truth stumble-mumble through “Closer Than Us“–but it’s a tragic loss, so allowance must be paid. Troubling easy listening pop.

Ryan Geary (feat. Josh Fellows) croons out “It’s Not Christmas Without You“, but the punchline here (get ready) is (this’ll kill you) the you here (you’re never gonna believe this) is New Hampshire. Just let the easy listening explain–

“I’m Not Red[&Green]dy for a Relationship”

Andrew Mellor imbues his blues with American rock in the wallowing “Another Blue Christmas“. No Elvises were referenced in the making of this downer.

Country twanger “Another Christmas With You Gone” is Nashional crying out of every orifice over you.

Another “Another Christmas Without You” countries the folk with sparkly New Age vocals from Cyril Niccolai & Orianthi. Without love, what–?

Johnny Fun and The…Hesitations decide “I’ll Miss You Christmas Eve (That’s what I’m gonna do)“. But the club rock dithers more than despairs.

Barely keeping it together, 4 Star Review (feat. Rintryp) folk Indies “Christmas Worlds Apart” about an emptiness. Then the elder backup starts in…. Fair song; fairly bad recording.

About the bleakest i’ve ever heard Rudy Casoni, “Ain’t Christmas Without You” plumbs the depths of Christmas cliches, breaks them apart, then croons over the cheap lounge music. Fantastic.

“It’s Not a Good Time of the Year for Me”

Reinventing “The Only Thing Missing” with a holiday bent, Hackberry Ramblers use Zydeco to full effect in this country weeper. That’s the good stuff.

“Christmas Ain’t Christmas, New Years Ain’t New Years Without The One You Love” gets a replay despite The O’Jays’ tendency to disco their R+B.

Winterval returns us to the thrilling days of New Age syncopation with “A Long Day“. It does have some verisimilitude, cuz i’m sad too now.

Desperation reeks off “Merry Christmas I Missed You So Much“, an indie of breaking vocals from Taking Back Sunday. Now, there may be reconciliation in here, so let’s keep the swearing to a minimum.

Dennis van Aarssen sings “Christmas When You’re Here” because he has trouble with the alternative. Jazz band lightheartedness.

Love some big band swing, so let’s find out who first wanted separation in the classic “Little Jack Frost Get Lost“. Why, it was author Seger Ellis with Dixie Dons and Orchestra. I’ll keep it to this 78 and skip the other 87 versions of it.

“You Deserve Better [Presents]”

Xscape frames “Christmas Without You” in a sliding scale R+B. So that’s very sad.

The Blind Eyes cover Rough Shop’s “Christmas AM Gold” with a careless rocking depression. They ask Santa to bring her back. Desperate. But, guitar solo!

“Christmas Without The Creole” celebrates another loss. Irma Thomas brings da blues and she means it.

BLUE ALERT! Charly Bliss (feat. PUP) punk rock out “It’s Christmas and I Fucking Miss You“. No notes.

Big Dave–and his pony–are alone as can be when it’s “Christmas on the Prairie“. Plaintive cowboy country.

Preempting the breakup, Aradia Faire uses garage punk to demand “All I Want For Christmas Is For You To Go Away“–so, BLUE ALERT. Great giving a piece of mind to… Not the ending i was hoping for….

“Let’s Just be [Secret Santa] Friends”

More lovelorn from SWMCLB sets cuckoldry to boogie woogie with the odd “Christmas Sucks (Without You)“. There’s the blues, then there’s this.

The Roundheads rock unapologetically “(I Can’t Stand Christmas) Without You“. Talkin’ bowchu, bae-bee.

Mike & Brian (feat. Marlee Perez) are really splitsville (thousands of miles!) when indie rocking “Missing You This Christmas Time (2012)“. The attempt is upbeat.

(Marchelle Bradanini as) Pony Boy divas the distress in “(Please Don’t Leave On) Christmas Eve“. Country gospel rock with an edge.

Classy Motown cranks up the tears with Dominic Glover’s “Christmas Isn’t Christmas” without you. It’s a party! A pity party!

Beth Crowley vamps up the pop with a tragic fallout from a Hallmark movie breakup. “You Ruined Christmas” is fun at being mean.

“It’s Not Yule, It’s Me”

We’re only scratched the surface of psychological problems. One of the BIG motivators for therapy, as well as singing, is breaking up with the one you smash. Throw in a little Merry Merry, and we have ourselves a subgenre.

Granted this opens the door for easy listening and power pop (ugh), so you may have to wait a month for real crackups in our little sourced musical choices. But i’m here for you, X-philes. I’m gonna give it my all to find you some funny in all this misery. Or else we can call it quits.

Jazzy swing from Dennis van Aarssen, “[Will You Be] Gone By Christmas Night” classes up the dating jitters so you might be less inclined to take out a restraining order.

Bunnygrunt’s “Season Freaklings” proudly percusses retro pop rock over how it’s not Christmas without you. We’re going to here that a lot during this month, so–Later, Jesus.

Buck Owens complains of anhedonia in “Christmas Ain’t Christmas“. Plodding country, now with more twang.

Horrifically, in honor of the Sandy Hook casualties, Wattle & Daub folk up “Ten Years Old (I Miss You Most at Christmas)“. That’s grief that is.

Bouncing back Tom Brusky (feat. Jay Isaacson) milk toasts the country with “Angel of Christmas“, a tribute to a dead spouse. At Christmas.

Specifically, “Christmas Won’t be the Same Without Johnny” warbles Dr. Elmo in country easy listening about Johnny Carson who left the airwaves in ’92 and left us in ’05. That’s some sentimental novelty there.

X-Mental: All Better Now

How do we know when we’ve achieved mental equilibrium during the holidays? Admittedly, it’s an ongoing business balancing the id, ego, and superego so as to register the fewest complaints with HR, but just listen to these songs and check off your symptoms.

You do your Christmas your way, counsels Santa’s Little Helper in the rockfest “The War On Christmas“. Not sure the sides taken here, but i suspect it’s inner turmoil.

The Apoplectics tutor us on holiday coping mechanisms in “Snuggie All the Way“, a lite pop tune with side effects advisory. Smart.

We’re not manic when we’re “Psyched For Christmas (2023 Version)”. David Prince rocks pop music to tell us how happy he is… and you can too.

Also super psyched, The Little Rockers Band share “This Is How It Feels At Christmas” with uplifting kidsong pop. Just a hair’s breadth from saccharine.

Lofi ambience from The Apples in Stereo croon out “Holiday Mood” is a blissful trance. I’m succumbing….

Nearing self actualization, John Tabacco declares “Christmas and I Am Not Afraid“. Lounge pop from the late ’60s.

Feeling complete, Jenn Ashton & Chris Doskoch ask for “Nothing For Christmas“. Folk symphonic with no irony in sight. Makes me unclench.

Pushing tolerance, “Happy Whatever You’re Having” by the Therapy Sisters allows for whoever whatever whenever whyever. More upbeat jump blues.

X-Mental: Barbaric Practices

We haven’t always been understanding or sympathetic to retards.

In fact sleepy (anti-woke) Larry the Cable Guy goes for simpleton laffs with “Donny the Retard” from long enough ago that no one thought it was about Trump back then.

Perhaps facetiously, Aristocorpse heavy metals “All I Want For Christmas is a Massive Brain Tumor“. Well, it’s the thought that–what was i talking about?

Death metal sets up ONE MAN ARMY AND THE UNDEAD QUARTET’s “Christmas for the Lobotomizer“. More than that, i canna tell ye.

Mike Spencer (Onionmaster)’s “Lobotomy Christmas” plays fun with synched vocals and rambling word salad. Weee!

The Rockhogs think it’s amusing to try an Eastern European accent for their “Christmas Lobotomy“. The danceable pop is more disturbing, but it can’t keep my feet still. ‘Ware the step-by-step instructions for your own operation.

Homegrown “I Want a Lobotomy for Christmas” features poor recording quality and slurred diction from Willy Sochko. Spot on garage.

Riffing on ‘Hippo’ “I Want a Frontal Lobotomy for Christmas” from Redfish (featuring EllaJo). And, yes, the hippocampus is mentioned. You’re welcome.

Dan Hart asks earnestly for a “Lobotomy for Xmas“. Funny folk of the classic novelty sort that flirts with ragtime.

X-Mental: Institutionalization

Last resort, lock up!

Big Top Heartbreak overproduces “Christmas In The Asylum” so that simple punk explodes into unbalanced easy listening. Colorful characters. Heartbreaking story.

Liam Carlin & The Kegs get proper punk with “Christmas in the Madhouse“. Adult supervision recommended.

The H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, naturally, has “Away in a Madhouse” as a standard carol.

Santa in the sanitarium? The Therapy Sisters jump blues “Santa’s Got the Blues” with moxie. It’s not your fault, Nick.

Matt Roach applies social commentary to the shelter skelter of the holidays in “Christmas in the Nuthouse“. No jackets were straited in this rocker.

“Christmas in the Loony Bin” sounds as if it were recorded there. Daniel Johnston’s folk rager offers no solutions, only walls. Osaka Popstar‘s rocking cover makes more sense. Not that that’s a good thing. Faniel makes a funeral march out of it. Ye gods.

The Illiterates garage the dickens out of “Xmas Carols in the Psych Ward“. It’s cah-RAY-zee.

Arlen Rundvall opts for detailed storytelling with his “Christmas in the Psych Ward“. It’s indie punk grisly reality, wards and all.

Sophie Gault maintains she’s doing all right spending “Christmas In The Psych Ward“. Is it what’s true or is it what she wants? Country rocking the psyche.

X-Mental: Therapy

The actual help for psychological problems doesn’t always help in time for Xmas.

Mike Nichols and Elaine May do the situational stand up “Merry Christmas, Doctor” that flips the script and makes the psychologist more disturbed than the patient. Hilarious contraposition for 1962. Perhaps doesn’t age well.

In “Christmas Freud” Yulenog & Nathan Kuruna mumble through an emerging parody. They get better in their novelty career.

Advising Joseph, David Wood’s ‘ROCK NATIVITY’ includes the tune “Don’t Be Afraid“, nudging the old man into nuptials with the preggo teen. Angelic advice.

Therapy can be gras roots, too. A Harris & Hart Holiday propose a cure for what troubles us with “Christmas Hands“. Folk anthem. And pretty damn funny.

Evoking ’70s easy listening perfection, The Free Design advise “Close Your Mouth (It’s Christmas)“. Put your feelings in a jar, kiddo.

For all the expectations you could never meet, here’s a “Gift Receipt” warble The New Anxiety. Not so much Freudianism as it is Retail Therapy. In metaphor at least. Personable easy listening.

If you follow Endiamonds simple indie song steps you may “Lose Every Inch of Your Sorrow“. This weighty loss program is not for every one. Consult your doctor if despair persists.

Garrison Bailey’s cure when determining that “No One Should Cry on Christmas” is the original Nativity tale. Read ’em and don’t weep. Sanctimonious pop.

L’Resorts exhorts Just Don’t in their layered “No Tears“. Carib pop reminiscent (for me) of Timbuk3. Which means i like it.

Tigger from Pooh helps Noodle Noggin’s prescription for “Santa’s Mental Altiitude“. It seems merely clapping hands does the trick. It’s the Tinkerbell Effect for this kidsong.

Also bossy, “Wintrvention” seems to be a will power recommendation from The Classic Brown. Matter over mind comes in the form of military march pop here.

Back to the professionals! The Therapy Sisters round up “The Twelve Days of Analysis” with a lightning round of courses. Hope it helps.