Roll On: Emma

I was on the verge of saying EMMA is short for something else, but it means complete. So, done.

The Emma of Father John Misty’s “Chateau Lobby #4 (In C For Two Virgins)” might not be real, nor the Satanic Christmas Eve she revels in… but this corrido anthem drops the jaws of all metaphors. So, gotta listen.

Image heavy, meaning imminent, “Emma” is a post-Xmas love ode from Mnemonic Sounds. Where pop meets indie.

Aunt Emma’s hip is just another off topic for the family ennui in “Happy New Year“, soul searching from Volker Redder.

Not so much for the Harry Potter, but Neil Cicierega has lampooned the cast for a pop holiday salute to his sister Emmy. Thus, “Emmy’s Christmas Gift“. Ta da.

Revival gospel blues handed down from AI, “Cousin Emmy Lou’s Perfect Christmas Dinner” Wass brought to us by DJ Zbornaak (Matthew Couk). Hands get clapped. Have mercy. Please.

Johnny and Emma are the children who matter while Jerovia wrestles with her adulthood, which means “Maybe Christmas Isn’t for Me“. But in the jazziest fashion, she squares the circle from Peanuts. Which i guess means she can drink nog.

Roll On: Emily

Well, i goofed up on this one. EMILY is the same as Amelia–which I had connected to Amy. Both Latinates, but the latter is love and our current focus is energy. Those are not the same apparently. (And one was my gramma the other my college girlfriend–there’s a difference!)

Cracker’s “Merry Christmas Emily” is a slow burn rockabilly cousin i happen to be quite fond of.

Bombastic indie with psychedelic feels, “For the Lulls” by Merry Christmas (sorry to say that is the attributed band name) mixes me up. Stuart? WTF?

The “Emily Who Christmas” is celebrated by Emily Who. Kidsong.

Two-timing Justin Rutledge begins the country indie “The Suffering of Pepe O’Malley [Pt. Iii]” to Dear Madeleine (who will stand him up in London), but it’s Dear Emily he admits he won’t see for Christmas. Catchy.

Also too poetic by half, Baseball Gregg details his “Decade Ender“. He wants to cum under the table to his spiritual Emily, but worries this song is plagiarism. Who said creativity is dead?

In “Emily’s Song” a little girl is desperate for Santa/Jesus to help her in her abusive, broken home. Dad finds the letter and Presto, a new man. Country fun.

“All I Want For Christmas” for Naser Al Azzeh is loads of goods and Emily Ratajkowski. Parody complete.

Emily’s car broke down and Midnight Friday can’t find her AND “It’s the Mf Holidays“. Metal rock with a lyric harmony. They’re gonna have a Christmas.

Cold Callers Comedy calls “Thank God For Christmas” despite all the hardship. Poor, cold, and Emily is missing him, so he sings the somber pop.

Troubled girlfriend, “Amelia (A Christmas Carol)” is called out by Jimmy Kelly with compelling yet corny country pop. Steer clear.

“My English Friend” is Amelia. Well, it is for T-Girl Angel. This bluegrass ballad covers ups, downs, and Christmas. It’s a whole autobiography.

“Troubled girlfriend, “Amelia (A Christmas Carol)” is called out by Jimmy Kelly with compelling yet corny country pop. Steer clear.

Roll On: Emery

Not familiar with Amery, but EMERY or Emory or Emerson are names for a Big Kahuna leader type. Like a lot of other German names.

“Emory” from Brad Miles is a bit of a bummer of an indie for Xmas. This little boy’s vision of the Messiah wants to be Old Testament to serve vengeance against his domestic abusers. The Jay-by of forgiveness isn’t enough for him. Damned folk, son.

In “Wrapping Paper Wars” John’s gifts might be perfect, Aunt Jenny’s crummy DIY, but Emery gets S&M for his offerings. AI boogie rock from The Mark Kraver Project. Uh huh.

Arseblog and Gunnerblog spoof Slade with the football coach takedown “Emery Christmas Everybody!” Granted, this is way inside a joke, and Unaii Emery the manager of Premier League club Aston Villa doesn’t have the First Name we’re looking for. But… bit o’ a larf, innit?

Roll On: Elvis

In Norse mythology, Alviss was a wise dwarf. So ELVIS is like the magi, but not so much the Dinklage.

Naw naw, this isn’t about The King. But, can’t escape ‘im. No actual Presleys appear in the dawdling rockabilly “The Elf That Sings Like Elvis“, but John Keeton likes to sling nicknames. Acceptable.

Of course AI has to join in. “Elvis the Elf” checks the boxes of country and allusion. TW3 Music Factory (jamie wilson) is to blame.

Actual people, The Strawberry Traffic Jam, back up the rockabilly bus to “Elvis the Elf“. But no new ideas occur.

Similarly, “Elvie the Elf” is sung by ALLIE JO THOMAS with country swing. But–get this–he saves Christmas. Giggle along.

Trying for an actual Elvis James Leo Oliver hurts his rockabilly with “Elvis the Christmas Elf“. Awkward.

“Little Elvis, King of the Elves” by Tom Mason is more remarkably homage to himself. Far as it goes, rockabilly/boogie woogie fun.

Roll On: Eloise

From the French Heloise, which is from the Greek Helios, ELOISE means sunshine, baby.

The dog whistle here is the ’50s spoiled brat kid growing up in Manhattan apartments. While Disney dumped a talentless holiday take on her, no songs were about her. However, Sharpe Made Music, Kaitlin Sharpe double the pop with “Best Friend Christmas“. The friends dream of a New York City Xmas, so just call us Eloise, they chortle. Huh.

Roll On: Elmer

A better evolution from Edelmeyer of the Old English, ELMER means both Edel or famous and Meyer or noble.

The recognizable connection (the reason so few kids are benighted thusly) is the Looney Toons one. So let’s sneak in a barely holiday classic, M.D.C.’s “Chicken Squawk“. This vegetarian diatribe demonizes hunter Fudd, while exonerating our T-givng and Xmas dinners. And a killer refrain to boot.

The 1994 cash-in album Have Yourself a Looney Tunes Christmas did NOT feature the then late Mel Blanc, but its “Christmas Chopsticks” has a lukewarm Elmer Fudd impersonation.

Since a speech impediment is risible, we also receive the mocking gift of “Elmer Fudd Christmas Classics“, Terry Ballard’s faux ad for a new holiday album lisping. It is to laugh.

I’ve already brought you “Elmer the Elf” songs, but Frank Rossi & Family’s tiny guy slipped my notice before. Oversight rectified. Shouted kidsong.

Nerf Herder claims “I Know what You’re Getting for Christmas.” Dubious? He names Johnny and Sally and little Elmer Johnson. He knows all y’all. Rocking indie.

Mitch Ruth as ‘Blind Slow Howling Muddy Slim’ introduces “Elmer the Christmas Woodchuck“. Amateur blues, but it funks. He’s a hero, bringing boogie to the children.

Roll On: Elmo

Since we can’t be bothered to pronounce Erasmus, we say ELMO. For the patron saint of sailors, it means protection.

Mike Bryant tries for another novelty Christmas song with “Elmo“. He’s a reindeer with a funny name. then Santa gets sick… (me too). Trouncing kidsong.

You were probably expecting Sesame Street representation. Say no more–! Interval recalls that old friend that got away. Some say she’s a Spanish anchor, others a jewel thief or that she faked her own death. Worst of all, comes the bell-ridden pop beat rumor that she’s a “Times Square Elmo“. He looks for you under the red fur every Xmas Eve.

Perhaps you’d prefer the AI kidsong monstrosity of “Elmo’s Christmas” as done in by TVKiDo. Sheesh.

Then there’s the R+B smoove love call “Coming Home” in which Digitized Inhalation states This elmo don’t burn the same/Without your glow within my frame. (Prolly that’s a reference to the 2012 ‘Hellmo’ failure fire of meme fame.) Oh… and it IS home for the holidays, what what.

Roll On: Elliot

ELLIOT? It means God is God. Covered.

“Elliot The Elf” is the idea Kids Fix decide could AI another Xmas smash. Missed it by that much. Kidsong about the happiest elf ever. Saves Christmas when Santa’s sick. That old one.

In “Another Sappy Xmas Love Song” Maja Francis admits to scratching your Elliot vinyl. So forgive and stand under the mistletoe. Honky tonk juke box.

Alestrom raises high pirates when it’s “Christmas With Alestorm“. They all drink rum. By name. Including Elliot. Raucous metal.

Roll On: Ellen

A wild divergence from Helen, ELLEN still means the same thing: bright lights.

Pamela Hines may be singing about “Ellen’s Christmas“, but i’m not sure who that is about. Languid lounge jazz.

AI punnery “Eileen the Forgotten Reindeer” gets her name from being short on one side. Still saves Christmas (doesn’t everyone?). Lively jazz kidsong a la Paul Eric Norwood.

Elena’s sax gets a mention in “Winter’s Chord“, wherein AI attempts jazz. Winter Sage reduces random to an algo. It’s what’s not programmed that makes meaning. Or is it just cut off at the end? [She reappears in the spoken word goth of their “Paternal Chord“.]

“All Elana Wants for Christmas is Friend Art” is a sad rewording of Mariah Carey. Bobo and Layla sell it, but there’s not much here here. In joke?

Ida’s “Joy” features an Ellen who is there. She doesn’t do much, but London Christmas swirls about her nonetheless. Guitar strong indie pop.