Roll On: Ann BLUE ALERT

Holy Hannah, the name ANN comes from that Hebrew! Yet we enjoy so many derivations like Anne, Anna, Anais, Anissa, Annalise, Annika, Anya, Annabel… and more! that i have to take these on here.

“Annabel” by 4:44 is a New Age folk pop of the three foot tall angel here. He’s freaking out, kid!

The Reverend’s Allstars bring military marching precision to the pop “Snowflakes falling” about Lady Ann and Billy’s dad snowman making and carol singing. Hey!

More fun, “Anne’s Christmas Punch” by Again Is Already favors the bass backbeat and spikes the dance moves. That punch won’t discriminate.

“I’m a Little Christmas Cracker” returns, covered by The East Flamingo Big Band. Seems sister Ann gets a call out in the middle of this suggestive pop song, now with more jazz.

“Mall Santa” by Two Tree Hill (feat. Rose Kelso) mentions several mall mainstays, including Aunty Anne’s (pretzels). If it wasn’t so bizarrely polka and inappropriately horny, i wouldn’t include it here. But it is. [Unlike “The Mall Song” wherein Lec complain-raps and includes that eatery for the holidays… but, ugh.]

Emery takes a moment (or eight) to introduce us to childhood sweetie “Anne Marie“, who beat him at snowballs way back when. Bluegrass fueled hyper pop.

In “Merry COVID Christmas“, Phoeb (feat. Amateur Panda) misses family, including Aunt Anne and Uncle Jerry. The pain is tearstreaming, the guitar riffs are fairshredding. Tragic, man.

Danny Coltmoore advises “Don’t Cry Little Charlie” with some drawlin’ Southernisms. This folk–Irish really–wake ‘splains how the mama, Anna-Bell, went overseas to Hurt Locker, but someone made a mistake/Against bombs you know there is no cure. Awww, cute.

Pastor Kenny’s Classroom rock the block with the lesson “Don’t You Know It’s Christmas (Season #1 Theme) (Live Remix)”. Deets are shared about the Christmas Story, including Simeon and Anna (oldsters who knew what this baby portended). Lighters up!

ArtOfficial tOddio also mention the couple in the gentler AI-friendly “The Advent of the Greatest Gift (What If)“. The What Ifs here are rhetorical, so don’t strain yourself.

Poverty time! “Little Annie’s Christmas Wish” involves no orphans, but poor folk with no presents. The Oak Ridge Boys peddle their pone with artfully winsome harmony, but hard jerked tears.

Mike Bryant’s “Christmastime Annie” also struggles without resources. Is the adult sufferer more pitiable than the child? Listen to this ersatz country to find out. (Spoiler: she doesn’t make it.)

Loretta Lynn returns to educate us about actual country rock with “Country Christmas“. Despite the congregated family, only Aunt Annie Belle and Uncle Bill get named. Still quite a party.

Spinster school marm “Annie” is pressured by friends and superiors to find a man, especially at the Christmas party. But, she’s fine. She’s got her woman. Fast for folk from Fred Small.

One of her students might be “Jump-Rope Annie“, who asked for and used that sports gear for Christmas. Mr One gets AI country rock/pop for this portrait of a funny little lady.

“Elegy for Annie Maguire” from Uncut Pages spins a fragmentary tale of desperation and self harm from a ledge o’er the sea Xmas Eve. Folk pop with an unsettling mystical charm.

Old lady Amber Crowley entrusts her daughter, Little Annie, to help make a “Homemade Christmas“. An island makes this easy listening sway. Or maybe it’s the Parkinsons.

“ANNETTE” is a mother tribute by MIKE BRICKZ (feat. DJ AYE BLIZZ1). R+B gifting.

Bowling For Soup’s rocking “Annique Stole My Car” is Xmas only in tune. Gary and Erik get short shrift, possibly due to the trauma of grand theft auto. BLUE ALERT already.

Roll On: Angelica

ANGELICA means angelical. Got it?

Drawde Magical sings “An Angelica Christmas” like it’s the most important song ever. It’s got hope, light, joy… all of the usual suspects. AI gospel, so be wary.

Might as well include Silent Echo’s “Angelina” here. This metal tribute could be Xmas (as its appearance on a holiday compilation album suggests). All i can tell is, it’s pissed.

Lowly Angie and Niswa are cleaning “Round the Clock” even at the holidays. Jasper YMC parangs it seasonally.

“How Wonderful Christmas Is (Angie’s Song)” is a child’s wish from The Group Prosperity · Mark Riddle · Michael Edward Lamb. The overly orchestrated pop aspires to gospel heights.

“The Christmas Tree Angel” in The Andrews Sisters’ song is named Angie. Jazz band sweetness.

Roll On: Andrew

Manly ANDREW derives for the Latinate ‘man’. It’s like naming your dog ‘Dog’.

Not so manly, “Andy, The Christmas Horse” by RLB Trek tries to supplant the reindeer and please the children. Kidsong doggerel, but not half-assed. Who wants a ride?

Andy and Angie get a Christmas surprise from off-to-war absent Daddy in a mysterious way. How? “Love Will Find a Way” or so sings Marilyn Oakley with weird falsetto country pop.

More grownup, Doctor Christmas countries the rock for “Same Bar Every Christmas“. Andy, Oscar, and JK are just some of the losers here and not with family.

“Andy’s Christmas” as sung by Corky Coreson is pretty raw. He’s on the streets mistaken for Santa by a loopy little girl passing by. Country ballad of the pathetic kind.

DJ Scott threw a demo onto Bandcamp entitled “Andy’s Smokin’ on Christmas“. Sounds like emerging indie.

Maisie Peters stages a “Holy Revival” around the holidays to slam the door on some Andrew. Indie breakup party. Have a better New Year, girl.

Surf Party, USA dropped a Xmas joke album almost a decade ago. As surfers, they competed mercilessly, dumping all over the least talented in a number of mentions. Begin with a hymnally harmonic “Merry Christmas, Andrew Berg (Intro)“, continue with the experimental psychedelia of “Andrew Berg Is an Elf Who Lives in My Stocking“, and end with the ukulele tribute “Merry Christmas, Andrew Berg (Outro)“.

Andrew (mistaken for Billy) is “Scheming with Santa” in Shmandarin’s messed genre rocker. Not sure the play here, but i’m all for it.

Roll On: Amy

AMY is to lovin’ like Xmas is to greed, so be prepared for some mistreatment.

F’r example, Andy Miller stumble mutters “Amy’s Mr’s Claus” about a porn star turned seasonal mall moll in this dead panning folk takedown. Ouch.

Troubled girlfriend, “Amelia (A Christmas Carol)” is called out by Jimmy Kelly with compelling yet corny country pop. Steer clear.

Jangle Bells amateurs up with “Amy’s home for Xmas!” This indie neglects to dwell on the titular name, but the incendiary yearning makes it clear. Wait, is she dying?

Roll On: Amos

Let’s take a moment with an old Hebrew name. Carried by god is famous ol’ AMOS.

Getting right to it, The Christmas Crew compels the power of AI to create “Merry Christmas Amos“. Pop doggerel. [There’s also the sequel “Merry Christmas Amos-John“.] [Oh, and “Merry Christmas Amos-Lee“.] Sorry, this is one of those song generators based on names… wasn’t going to let those slip in. mea culpa.

Jacmauzs Justarr be hating on your uninformed “Paganism“, you know with you believing in Christmas and Easter and such. It’s all lies, according to the books of Amos and Jeremiah. Edu-rap-tional.

Another entry i haven’t posted yet is “Amos the Little Elf” by Richard Melvin Brown. This country kidsong follows a sad sack to success. It tries.

“Amos The Christmas Rooster“, written and preformed by Reed Lochamy and Will Lochamy harkens back to 1940 and swing band tomfoolery. He’s good for more than just eating’. Hoo Ray.

Roll On: Amanda

Worthy of love is AMANDA, like Seyfried, Peet, and Bynes.

Shrista’s angry rap “Jingle Bellz” disses one and all. Snow so white I keep calling it Amanda, he says. Can’t argue that.

“Christmas Day 1923” is an indie tribute to Aunt Amanda Jane from Future Clouds & Radar. As these were the good old days, tragedy strikes.

“A Very Mandy Christmas” is head scratching rap by Darko The Super & Harvey Cliff MC set to Stan Freburg comedy. Cheddar goblins?

Johnathan Boggarty and the Yoghurt Man sing about JC hooking up with Mandy and her friend Mary Jane at the club on his birthday in “God’s Christmas”.

Stephanie sings about Daddy’s caroling lullaby in the New Age country “Beauty“. Amanda (and Charlotte) need to calm down and go back to sleep.

Roll On: Alvin

Wait, this name is OE for ‘elf freind’?! ALVIN! Get my mithril! Yeah, when it say Alvin’s Christmas, you say—? (It’s chipmunk.) Not exactly FAY-mous, so we’ll roast the little sucker in a few songs.

If you haven’t heard the gag where the voices are NOT sped up the chipmunks’ novelty Christmas hit, try Harold Krell’s “Alvin Sings the Chipmunks.” It might be reworded a bit. Demonic.

Strangely, “Christmas This and That (The Opposites Song)” by some AI entitled Tiny Explorers refers to Alvin as somebody who’s not a genius. Not sure why they went there. Guess he’s one of the cartoon friends in the group. Cheesy kidpop.

Staving of Alzheimers, Robert N Wagner remembers “A December 2 Remember“, especially how chipmunks rhymes with tree trunks. Lounge country.

Roll On: Alice

ALICE never struck me as hoity-toity, then i read that it came from the German Adelaide. Well, how-dyee-do. Modern connotations have to do with innocence yet challenging societal norms. (Cf. Cooper, Walker)

Toby Deane and the Hummingbirds lay down the kidsong “Alice in Christmas Wonderland” briefly before the Disney movie appeared. big band, but a bit spooky.

More modern “Alice the Christmas Camel” counts down the gradual maiming of a ship of the desert… or was that a mirage? Piccolo Music may be from Down Under as their sense of humor is wicked indeed.

Two Ronnies misspeak lyrics with their burlesque “Alice in Her Winter Underwear“. This BBC comedy from the ’80s gets quite political.

Bendy and the Ink Machine Song (feat. Lindsay Joan) use recognizable pop to portray “Alice Angel’s Christmas“. But this metal themed menace stinks of AI, so i’m two minds here. Weird/boring. From some video game.

In “The Tale Of Alice (Live From CCS)” Jon Smith’s Voyages spins a tale of sheltered womanhood busting out. Christmas presents are earned, but not appreciated. Curious Brit rock.

Down to earth country harmony helps “Christmas At Aunt Alice’s“, a sentimental journey from Melodie. Also five outta ten.

Drunk ballading, Idle reveals–through too much “Eggnog“–that he wants/has Alice, so he’s crossing her off his list. R+B rap that’s only a tad tipsy.

Roll On: Alexander

ALEXANDER is a Great name, so don’t get defensive. Actors, inventors, Presidents, and Popes all sport this effortlessly.

Kenny J uses soca to search for “Alexander” for the holidays. The flute does it for me.

AI loves cats, too. “Alex and Olaf’s Christmas Glow” is FLUXCULT seriously taking on kitty pop.

I have not offered “Alex the Reindeer” before, despite my set of reindeer postings. It’s not because Al Walser’s lounge pop is terrible. I just didn’t. Now i did. It’s from a book.

A human Alex finds “Santa’s Super Sleigh I” in Shu Chen Hou’s cheesy pop AI adventure.

Under the spell of Grandpa Alex, Sarah Sherkhan decorates the tree while Pop’s singing “I believe in a miracle“. Glee club or AI?

Mattthew sings about Alec’s mother calling about the free Christmas tree she snagged in the spoken word indie “Bougainvilleas“. Getting weird here.

Holy Pinto is in east “Texas” Christmas Eve, whining and regretting and singing about missing Alex’s floor. Mystical folk, or i wouldn’t bother. I mean, what th–

Roll On: Albert

The German for famous and smart is ALBERT. Well, Anglicized it is. Think Schweitzer and Einstein.

“Albert The Brassed Ass Antelope” may not be especially bright, but it he is shiny. Party the Hut and Friends carouse this parody drunkenly.

Paw Front use AI to honor the book “Albert The Hanukkah Bulldog“. He’s no Rudolph, but someone would like us to think so.

Backroad Syndicate disparage this high-reaching name as well. With AI sing along big band rudeness, the character in question sings horribly. “What About Albert?” is the result.

Uncle Albert and Jermaine witness the star from space in “Christmas22” as foretold by SFG Band. Jazzy easy listening pop. It works.