Year-round Yuletide oddities
Eagle Power!!! That’s ARNOLD!!!
Panic Moon Productions leans into the fussy connotations of the name with the comedy bit “Arnie Android“, an AI what’s gonna wish you happy… something.
“Arnold’s Christmas” rapped by Lärs (feat. Ragen & Lun) is overlapping muttering about some dark business. I think.
Three Day Threshold & Summer Villains power pops the folk of “Arnie’s Christmas Tree Farm“. It’s a rushed sing along of charm.
ARCHIBALD from High German means truly bold. I mean, toto in yer face.
Not sure what to make of Master Solo’s “The Last Xmas Of Achiebald Sterling“, all 13 seconds of it. But this is an infertile concept,
Desperately, I’ll include “Duck The Hogs (Archie’s Christmas Song)” with neither hide nor hair of Archie himself, as presented by Millwood Ministries of SC. Bit o’ fun.
“Archie the Archaeopteryx” from Kara Kaufman’s Xmas tunes into dino profiles dwells in the precious kidsong pool.
Karl Williams strums and hums “Archibald Elf” with a bit of vim. But this folk kidsong resides in amateur purgatory.
A classically Roman name, ANTHONY was a name, not a word. So meanings got added, like ‘priceless’ and ‘praiseworthy’–what Mama said it meant. Oh, and the ‘h’ got added only a couple centuries ago for no apparent reason.
Muggle Snuggle picks up on the Harry Potter character’s following (NOT Ravenclaw) to have a little fun with “Anthony Oh Anthony“. Okay, i get it.
Is “Delia’s Gone” by Pete Seeger of a holiday mien? Well, Tony shot his Delia on a Christmas night. And it like Pete’s authentic folk. Discuss.
Luke McQueen & Mark Silcox have a lard with “Christmas is Here (Songs with my Father)“. Uncle Tony almost spoils it, but doesn’t. Bombastic Brit pop.
Cutta also frolics “Downtown at Christmas Time“, even convincing that guy Tony to let him drive the Zamboni on the rink. Sparkly pop. And BLUE ALERT (it IS NYC after all).
Desperate for the next novelty breakout in 1976, “Tiny Tony” comes from Bob Bradburn & the Jasper Place High School Stage Band. It’s about Santa’s barber. The polka beat doesn’t hurt the absurdity.
Holy Hannah, the name ANN comes from that Hebrew! Yet we enjoy so many derivations like Anne, Anna, Anais, Anissa, Annalise, Annika, Anya, Annabel… and more! that i have to take these on here.
“Annabel” by 4:44 is a New Age folk pop of the three foot tall angel here. He’s freaking out, kid!
The Reverend’s Allstars bring military marching precision to the pop “Snowflakes falling” about Lady Ann and Billy’s dad snowman making and carol singing. Hey!
More fun, “Anne’s Christmas Punch” by Again Is Already favors the bass backbeat and spikes the dance moves. That punch won’t discriminate.
“I’m a Little Christmas Cracker” returns, covered by The East Flamingo Big Band. Seems sister Ann gets a call out in the middle of this suggestive pop song, now with more jazz.
“Mall Santa” by Two Tree Hill (feat. Rose Kelso) mentions several mall mainstays, including Aunty Anne’s (pretzels). If it wasn’t so bizarrely polka and inappropriately horny, i wouldn’t include it here. But it is. [Unlike “The Mall Song” wherein Lec complain-raps and includes that eatery for the holidays… but, ugh.]
Emery takes a moment (or eight) to introduce us to childhood sweetie “Anne Marie“, who beat him at snowballs way back when. Bluegrass fueled hyper pop.
In “Merry COVID Christmas“, Phoeb (feat. Amateur Panda) misses family, including Aunt Anne and Uncle Jerry. The pain is tearstreaming, the guitar riffs are fairshredding. Tragic, man.
Danny Coltmoore advises “Don’t Cry Little Charlie” with some drawlin’ Southernisms. This folk–Irish really–wake ‘splains how the mama, Anna-Bell, went overseas to Hurt Locker, but someone made a mistake/Against bombs you know there is no cure. Awww, cute.
Pastor Kenny’s Classroom rock the block with the lesson “Don’t You Know It’s Christmas (Season #1 Theme) (Live Remix)”. Deets are shared about the Christmas Story, including Simeon and Anna (oldsters who knew what this baby portended). Lighters up!
ArtOfficial tOddio also mention the couple in the gentler AI-friendly “The Advent of the Greatest Gift (What If)“. The What Ifs here are rhetorical, so don’t strain yourself.
Poverty time! “Little Annie’s Christmas Wish” involves no orphans, but poor folk with no presents. The Oak Ridge Boys peddle their pone with artfully winsome harmony, but hard jerked tears.
Mike Bryant’s “Christmastime Annie” also struggles without resources. Is the adult sufferer more pitiable than the child? Listen to this ersatz country to find out. (Spoiler: she doesn’t make it.)
Loretta Lynn returns to educate us about actual country rock with “Country Christmas“. Despite the congregated family, only Aunt Annie Belle and Uncle Bill get named. Still quite a party.
Spinster school marm “Annie” is pressured by friends and superiors to find a man, especially at the Christmas party. But, she’s fine. She’s got her woman. Fast for folk from Fred Small.
One of her students might be “Jump-Rope Annie“, who asked for and used that sports gear for Christmas. Mr One gets AI country rock/pop for this portrait of a funny little lady.
“Elegy for Annie Maguire” from Uncut Pages spins a fragmentary tale of desperation and self harm from a ledge o’er the sea Xmas Eve. Folk pop with an unsettling mystical charm.
Old lady Amber Crowley entrusts her daughter, Little Annie, to help make a “Homemade Christmas“. An island makes this easy listening sway. Or maybe it’s the Parkinsons.
“ANNETTE” is a mother tribute by MIKE BRICKZ (feat. DJ AYE BLIZZ1). R+B gifting.
Bowling For Soup’s rocking “Annique Stole My Car” is Xmas only in tune. Gary and Erik get short shrift, possibly due to the trauma of grand theft auto. BLUE ALERT already.
ANGELICA means angelical. Got it?
Drawde Magical sings “An Angelica Christmas” like it’s the most important song ever. It’s got hope, light, joy… all of the usual suspects. AI gospel, so be wary.
Might as well include Silent Echo’s “Angelina” here. This metal tribute could be Xmas (as its appearance on a holiday compilation album suggests). All i can tell is, it’s pissed.
Lowly Angie and Niswa are cleaning “Round the Clock” even at the holidays. Jasper YMC parangs it seasonally.
“How Wonderful Christmas Is (Angie’s Song)” is a child’s wish from The Group Prosperity · Mark Riddle · Michael Edward Lamb. The overly orchestrated pop aspires to gospel heights.
“The Christmas Tree Angel” in The Andrews Sisters’ song is named Angie. Jazz band sweetness.
Manly ANDREW derives for the Latinate ‘man’. It’s like naming your dog ‘Dog’.
Not so manly, “Andy, The Christmas Horse” by RLB Trek tries to supplant the reindeer and please the children. Kidsong doggerel, but not half-assed. Who wants a ride?
Andy and Angie get a Christmas surprise from off-to-war absent Daddy in a mysterious way. How? “Love Will Find a Way” or so sings Marilyn Oakley with weird falsetto country pop.
More grownup, Doctor Christmas countries the rock for “Same Bar Every Christmas“. Andy, Oscar, and JK are just some of the losers here and not with family.
“Andy’s Christmas” as sung by Corky Coreson is pretty raw. He’s on the streets mistaken for Santa by a loopy little girl passing by. Country ballad of the pathetic kind.
DJ Scott threw a demo onto Bandcamp entitled “Andy’s Smokin’ on Christmas“. Sounds like emerging indie.
Maisie Peters stages a “Holy Revival” around the holidays to slam the door on some Andrew. Indie breakup party. Have a better New Year, girl.
Surf Party, USA dropped a Xmas joke album almost a decade ago. As surfers, they competed mercilessly, dumping all over the least talented in a number of mentions. Begin with a hymnally harmonic “Merry Christmas, Andrew Berg (Intro)“, continue with the experimental psychedelia of “Andrew Berg Is an Elf Who Lives in My Stocking“, and end with the ukulele tribute “Merry Christmas, Andrew Berg (Outro)“.
Andrew (mistaken for Billy) is “Scheming with Santa” in Shmandarin’s messed genre rocker. Not sure the play here, but i’m all for it.
AMY is to lovin’ like Xmas is to greed, so be prepared for some mistreatment.
F’r example, Andy Miller stumble mutters “Amy’s Mr’s Claus” about a porn star turned seasonal mall moll in this dead panning folk takedown. Ouch.
Troubled girlfriend, “Amelia (A Christmas Carol)” is called out by Jimmy Kelly with compelling yet corny country pop. Steer clear.
Jangle Bells amateurs up with “Amy’s home for Xmas!” This indie neglects to dwell on the titular name, but the incendiary yearning makes it clear. Wait, is she dying?
Let’s take a moment with an old Hebrew name. Carried by god is famous ol’ AMOS.
Getting right to it, The Christmas Crew compels the power of AI to create “Merry Christmas Amos“. Pop doggerel. [There’s also the sequel “Merry Christmas Amos-John“.] [Oh, and “Merry Christmas Amos-Lee“.] Sorry, this is one of those song generators based on names… wasn’t going to let those slip in. mea culpa.
Jacmauzs Justarr be hating on your uninformed “Paganism“, you know with you believing in Christmas and Easter and such. It’s all lies, according to the books of Amos and Jeremiah. Edu-rap-tional.
Another entry i haven’t posted yet is “Amos the Little Elf” by Richard Melvin Brown. This country kidsong follows a sad sack to success. It tries.
“Amos The Christmas Rooster“, written and preformed by Reed Lochamy and Will Lochamy harkens back to 1940 and swing band tomfoolery. He’s good for more than just eating’. Hoo Ray.
Worthy of love is AMANDA, like Seyfried, Peet, and Bynes.
Shrista’s angry rap “Jingle Bellz” disses one and all. Snow so white I keep calling it Amanda, he says. Can’t argue that.
“Christmas Day 1923” is an indie tribute to Aunt Amanda Jane from Future Clouds & Radar. As these were the good old days, tragedy strikes.
“A Very Mandy Christmas” is head scratching rap by Darko The Super & Harvey Cliff MC set to Stan Freburg comedy. Cheddar goblins?
Johnathan Boggarty and the Yoghurt Man sing about JC hooking up with Mandy and her friend Mary Jane at the club on his birthday in “God’s Christmas”.
Stephanie sings about Daddy’s caroling lullaby in the New Age country “Beauty“. Amanda (and Charlotte) need to calm down and go back to sleep.
Wait, this name is OE for ‘elf freind’?! ALVIN! Get my mithril! Yeah, when it say Alvin’s Christmas, you say—? (It’s chipmunk.) Not exactly FAY-mous, so we’ll roast the little sucker in a few songs.
If you haven’t heard the gag where the voices are NOT sped up the chipmunks’ novelty Christmas hit, try Harold Krell’s “Alvin Sings the Chipmunks.” It might be reworded a bit. Demonic.
Strangely, “Christmas This and That (The Opposites Song)” by some AI entitled Tiny Explorers refers to Alvin as somebody who’s not a genius. Not sure why they went there. Guess he’s one of the cartoon friends in the group. Cheesy kidpop.
Staving of Alzheimers, Robert N Wagner remembers “A December 2 Remember“, especially how chipmunks rhymes with tree trunks. Lounge country.