Roll On: Carl

Languages are tricky. CARL could be peasant, citizen, or husband depending on how old of German you consult. Could be all three, i guess.

Lovebirds “Carl And Mavis” according to Otis Gibbs were cheapskates of a high order, especially around the holidays. Budgeteering blue grass.

In Tim McGraw’s “Beautiful People” ordinary schmoes like Carl (who dress up like St. Nick for sick kids) are given the deep dive so’s we know they’s okay. What passes for country these days.

Likely this is the same Carl in John E. Eagle’s “The Ballad of a Broken Mall Santa“. Just a pinch of honky tonk here helps the country.

Definitely not the same guy as “Uncle Carl” by Aaron LaCombe. This husband has a secret to tell at the family Xmas table. Sorrowful, yet slightly more authentic, country.

With a soft spot for Phineas and Fern, i might include their ensemble “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” as the Major scolds Carl by name for dunkin’ the punch early in it.

John Boy & Billy have a notion that comedy results in odd combos, so they squeeze Karl Childer’s character from ‘Sling Blade’ into A Christmas Carol. “Christmas Karl I“, “II“, and “III” tell the tale. Lowbrow, umm hmmm.

More ‘A Christmas Carol’ comedy from Carla Jiminez, “Carla’s Christmas Message“. Tends to meander while tooting her own horn.

Carla may a bit more take charge than Carl. Seems “Carla Came Home” for Xmas… after murdering her abusive husband. Chris Knight twangs and hollers for even more country.

Spoofing on a ‘Grinch’ song Blayne Powder falsettos “Where Are You Carlyn?” for almost a minute at a time without cracking himself up.

“The Swedish Way to Celebrate” seems to involve watching the seminal holiday classic ‘Sagan om Karl-Bertil Jonssons Julafton’. For the kids. Easy listening from Kerstin Adeström, Ola W Jansson, & Sami Yousri.

Fugli returns with his “Pirate Santa Karl” yarn. Funny folk.

Then it gets dark. Carl Stevens swears vengeance in Angry Johnny And The Killbillies’ “Slaughter In A Winter Wonderland“. Parody in ‘billy. For mature audiences, or somebody with a nasty sense of humor.

In GenjiPenji’s AI metal screecher “All Hans On” the terrorist crew from ‘Die Hard’ are all named like reindeer, but Karl is singled out as the secondary boss. He crazy.

Miloh Ramai promises love “For Christmas“, ‘cuz he can’t afford Karl (as in Lagerfeld). Easy listening prettiness.

Lacy J Dalton’s “Carl the Christmas Dog” is trouble. His antics require a rush to the animal hospital. Perhaps a happy ending (not for the cat). NOT good dog Carl. Folk funnies.

Roll On: Candace

I was surprised to learn CANDACE means Nubian Queen. Rock on.

“Kandy Kane” from Dave & Jeanine introduces us to the problem. The word play is irresistible. But this country doo wop helps us deal with the dad-jokiness.

Bob Cleghorn adds a bit of corridor to dramatize “No Candy This Christmas.” See, she’s behind bars for the holidays. Sad now.

T. J. Murr unleashes full honky tonk to introduce his Xmas born daughter. Not sure which is the first name for his “Pretty Christmas Candy“, but i’ll default to the recognizable.

Roll On: Cameron

Whether boy or girl, when named CAMERON please review your family history. It’s Gaelic for big fat crooked nose. Is that okay?

Taking a swing at ‘Dominic’ Generic Tan Car sing as awfully as they can about “Cameron The Christmas Chicken“. Just another pop garage crime scene.

Cam Get’m’s gonna open a cam of mistletoe when he squares off. “Cam vs. Klaus” is rock pop duel that wants to be rap, then delivers a hair metal solo. Hey.

Roll On: Butch

Short for Butcher, BUTCH is the manly man (or woman) with a thumb on the scale. This is actually used on birth certificates almost more than once a year.

Cherry Poppin’ Daddies recorded “Butch the Gay Santa Claus” in 1998. Rights were just around the corner, so the pop hate-joshing seemed light of heart, Matthew Shepard notwithstanding.

Today we get more along the lines of “Santa Butchie” a rote parody of ‘Baby’ posted by Butch Talk. Lesbian humor?

“Cranky Old Butch” seems to be another epithet for good ol’ Santy according to Dystopian Noize Factory. In this gentle jazz tribute, reverence is paid.

Roll On: Buster

Whether a Brown or a Keaton, BUSTER be crackin’ you up. Just naturally.

‘Go Buster’ seems to be a kid show of tropes and cliches, just like the wee ones want. “Buster’s First Snow” is set to ‘Jingle Bells’; so is “Buster and the Sleigh“. “Buster Builds a Snowman“, however, elevates the oeuvre into monoto-pop. BTW, Buster here is a juvenile bus.

On the other hand: “Buster: The Christmas Cat” by Coffee On Mars relates the frolics of a man-eater in cute widdle R+B pop.

Roll On: Bud

While on nicknames, BUDDY may have been a poorly pronounced brother, but boy oh boy does it now hold a place in the pantheon of Xmas monikers.

Gorgis harmonize some weird off key light indie with “Buddy the Gingerberry Elf“. You’re thinking of somebody else.

Perhaps you’re thinking of “Buddy’s Christmas Wish“, a not-so-horrifying AI pop ballad from Trollworthy Media. Yeah, that’s him.

Also about him, Pop Culture Harmonies lessens the quality of music with their AI ‘rap’ “Call Me Buddy“. That’s his name!

“Buddy the Elf“–still more AI–from DJ ABC tries out rat pack lounge lucidity. I’ve heard worse.

So let’s call it: “My AI Buddy For Christmas” by Antonie Bolland & AI vies for EDM quality, but it’s just noise.

To make up, “Buddy the Elf” is a falsetto barbershop rap from The Wobertz that lightens the music.

BLUE ALERT when your new friend Bicycle Trip hates on the holidays with the peppy rock of “Christmas Buddy“. He’s lonely without you, so it’s understandable.

You’re also friends with Andina & Rich who serenade us with the country light “Buddy, I’m Just Sick to Death of Christmas“. Take the opposing side!

Advance Base winds through a shaggy dog tale, “Blue Christmas 2“, in which a loner at a diner then at a motel suddenly has a holiday bank robbing partner who calls him Bud. Crime, however, does not pay. Maudlin indie, but good stuff.

The Under Cover Boys ratchet down the AI to country pop the tale of the cat “Mr. Bud’s Christmas“. All the usual love and mischief.

I wish “Cuddle Buddy (This Is Too Much Pressure Uhhhhhh)” was better recorded by Zach The Human. This sci fi escapade is either Xmas on the moon, or brain tampered delusion. Either way, cool cool cool.

Some authentic bluegrass by The Mountain Band leads us to Uncle Bud’s where we’ll be drinking “Christmas Spirits” all day. Pull up a pile of pallets and join in.

Roll On: Bucky

I’m of two minds about including nicknames in our roistering roster, but BUCK is another Scottish name. It means deer. Hmmm.

I’ve already celebrated the tear jerkin’ tale of cowboy Jack and his doggy Buck from Mary Kaye’s “Goin’ Home for Christmas“. Give it another hanky twist. Gentle, unplugged country.

Sorry About Everything has a jolly pop rock number about “Bucky The Christmas Goat“. It may not be a goat from the creche, but it delivers royalty checks for this guy’s Christmas song. So there’s that. And he’s NOT a deer.

Roll On: Brody

A Scottish family name, BRODY came from words meaning muddy ditch. Silly Scots.

Duller Colours raps “Runnin’” about failed family dynamics, but at least Brody made it home for Christmas. R+B bent.

In “WRAPPED UP” Yung Tax Collector (feat. noah!) worry about Jesus and decorating gifts. But Phil and Brody get shoutouts in this troubled rap. Then again Brodie means brother to those in hip hop.

Brody Stevens talks about himself (and Christmas) with “Brody’s Bio“. I realize this is not a generic Brody, but i imagine all Brodys aspire to this life plan. Screechy pop/rap.

Roll On: Brittany

Not sure if many girls get named Franca, Italia, or Deutschia, but BRITTANY is just a female from Britain. (Not France, bc the people from that region actually took over England starting around 1066.)

Megan Moroney hoots and hollers through “All I Want for Christmas Is a Cowboy” with the jolliest honky tonk blues. But she does have to fight off the Brittanys and Jessicas to get him. Guess there’s not enough to go around.

November Cold takes us through another tragic loss coinciding with the holidays in their indie power ballad “Rockefeller Center“. They lost Brittany before Mom, but we’re not clear if that’s a breakup or merely more mortality. This is the rage stage of death.

Michael Ray gets with the imagery in “Picture“, a country twanger about reminiscing with an old photo of his sister Britney and him at Christmas. Naturally he connects it to death.

Let’s deal with the over naming in North America. Surplus of Brittneys often leads to devaluation. Plus Keishas. Both get denigrated in the nasty rap
BLUE AlERT “Christmas Twerk” by Dk Diggz.

“Merry Christmas Britney” is ’80s style pop from Christmas Crackers doing their damnedest to lure that titular gal on over. Offers hail from man and woman, just in case. No answer… yet.

Roll On: Brian

BRIAN likely comes from high ground, so aristo in a way. Also came from maggot, as a nickname. That’s sooo Brian.

In “HOLIDAZE” The Deadd complain relentlessly about all things Christmas, including Brian’s stinky socks. Punk with improv and too much bass.

Flipping the gender, “Merry Christmas Breanna Rayne” is hard core garage from A Spelling E. Not much more than a toast, really.

Mrs. Claus has a standing appointment with Brian from the oil company. “Same Time Next Year” is her naughty rendezvous as told by Bah & The Humbugs. Show tune symphonic.

Unable to keep the familial peace on “The Day After Christmas” Some Good Evil has Brian tell Chris all about the cruelties endured. Garage pop about rotten turkey.

Playing with obscene rhymes Claire Margaret Corlett funny raps “What Christmas Is About?” though she concludes it’s about the gimme. And she calls out Brian for questioning her choices.