Category: altrock

AMY is to lovin’ like Xmas is to greed, so be prepared for some mistreatment.

F’r example, Andy Miller stumble mutters “Amy’s Mr’s Claus” about a porn star turned seasonal mall moll in this dead panning folk takedown. Ouch.

Troubled girlfriend, “Amelia (A Christmas Carol)” is called out by Jimmy Kelly with compelling yet corny country pop. Steer clear.

Jangle Bells amateurs up with “Amy’s home for Xmas!” This indie neglects to dwell on the titular name, but the incendiary yearning makes it clear. Wait, is she dying?

Love is in the frosty air when The Washingtonians (feat. Tony Driscoll) sing “Snowed In with You” into a bathroom microphone. Oompah washboard quality.

The hypothetical second person rears its fluke in Vom Vorton’s “Christmas is No Fun When You’re Trapped in the Belly of a Whale”. This experimental garage head scratcher is courtesy of Pete da elf. It’s okay, isn’t it?

Vince Vance & The Valiants torture the country listener with “Why Can’t You be Here for Christmas?” It’s more of an accusation than a real question.

Vina Verde returns with more struggling singing “I Want You This Christmas“. That’ll be enough of that–what is it? pop?!

Tom Walker’s “First Christmas with You” is bombastic pop rimmed with sea shanty overtones. This might be the one.

From The Twelve Bands Of Christmas (Vol. 4) comes The Shaun Piazza Band singing “On Your Holiday”. Indie fun.

BLUE ALERT 85% Jesus discerns who YOU are in the rocking “Merry Fucking Christmas (to some of you)“. Be nicer to him and you might make the cut.

3JS wants you to “Tell Me Your Story“. It’s a trick to get your wine. Or it’s a charitable gift to someone down on their luck. Soft gospel pop.

2 Live Jews lounge parody a special message to all you celebrities. “Don’t Get Caught (With Your Pants Down)” takes on ‘Coming to Town’ but only leaves change for a tip.

Tom Chapin pleads forgiveness in the weepy pop “We Remember You This Christmas“. It tells a story.

Practicing their English, 전혜빈 sings us “Merry Christmas I Love You Happy New Year All My Heart” as an R+B medley with a rap chaser.

Wolf Blitzer the Band sbarely rouses the party with “What Have You Done, Sugarplum?” Dance indie with sleep apnea.

Clubbing the rock, Christmas Aguilera sings “I Wanna Give You a Present” and so much more. So stand still a sec.

Jesse Reid rocks the folk with his agenda-driven “What Does Christmas Mean To You?” I hope you studied.

Heiress Harris gargles “What Does Christmas Mean To You?” into a kidsong of what’re you going to get her. Comfort and joy are on her list.

Edgy Productions’s “What Does Christmas Mean to You?” starts with pie, but then–bombastically–vamps up the kidsong into a stagey production.

Sermonzing, Rev. Emmett Dickinson demands “Christmas – What Does It Mean To You?” Accusations fly in this trumpeted spoken word production with sweet gospel backup from 1929.

European Son monotones the indie “What Does Christmas Mean To You” so flatly that i find it necessary to leave the question mark off the lyrics.

GK Vocal Coaching (feat. Scarlette 8elle) horses around with country pop in the phoned in “Don’t Need Much for Christmas“. See, she just needs you. Guess you aren’t much.

The Power of Truth punches the pop with indie vibe, because “Lovin U” is way easier on Christmas Time. Odd song. Not feeling the love with all the despisin’.

Beatnik Turtle wants to “Make My Christmas Bright” with presents and candy and stuff for you. Whaddya want, huh? Hurry up and decide! Be happy or else!

Cha$e Woodie wants you up with rapping R+B. He’ll “Make You Happy” if it’s the last rhyme he busts.

Luther Vandross wishes “May Christmas Bring You Happiness“. Soul disco seems less like an order here. Imma dance it off.

Collin Derrick offers to be anything you need: the lights, the gingerbread, the stocking… Look around at all the holiday trappings. Like one? “Maybe It’s Me“. It would be a lot creepier without the indie pop backdrop.

Evacuate’s “Holidays with You” is metal excessive about being with you. Easy now.

GrandIlusionist’s “Home for Christmas (80’s Rock Mix)” also flames up for being with you. Hair metal shenanigans.

American Basics’ “How Could You Want More” is live (and largely ignored) rock that wants answers, dammit.

Renzo Cesana’s “I Bought You Violets” is spoken word regret around the winter occasion of rejection. Erm, maybe roses?

Mark Hand’s “I Don’t Need Anything” recalls that one time of presents and cookies and kisses, but his indie soul doesn’t really remember. Just love.

Confused’s “I Don’t Need You At Christmas (Unmixed, Unmastered & Unloved)” toys with not needing you. Maybe you should just disappear. Then the hard rocking indie starts to wonder about next year. Slippery slope.

“Christmas With You Is The Best” isn’t traditional. It’s sex. Kooky alt rock fun from The Long Winters.

“Christmas You” is a special thing. It’s not an occasion, It’s not a sweater wearing oaf. Jamie O’Neal swings the country pop just far enough to make her point.

“Closer to You” is a reference to baby Jesus from Alison Trelfa. Light ‘n’ airy pop with genuflection.

“Cookies” are a symbol for warmth and love. The Coats sing about you being a holiday dream. And making cookies with you is probably NOT a euphemism. Doo wop a cappella.

CrookedSound gets psychedelic (unintentionally) in “Being with You“. It’s wildly dissociative and obsessive.

“Cult of Seasonality” By Surprise is a long haul of wandering glimpses of Christmas and you and doing and not. I don’t get it and that’s fine.

Harmonic Pulse Collective (feat. Jonathan Pallie) ASMRs “Lonely Lights (This Christmas Night)“, singing out to all those unassociated like them. Could form a band. Indie jazz.

Max gospel, Morgan James raises the rafters (andexpectations) with “Why Am I Lonely Tonight?” It’s that disco-country gospel you read about in the history books.

The Barefoot Man tries some 1960s easy listening with “Lonely Christmas“. Oddly this is prep for the tragedy. There there’s the dreams….

Dream Nails play the opposites game where the more family you visit for the holidays, the less you connect. “Lonely Star (Christmas Song)” is peppy pop with indie undertones.

Old 97’s swirl the drain with their “Lonely Holiday“. Weekend’s shot, might as well die. Grunge indie.

Darling statistics like to reveal the great number of people today who suffer isolation in our overpopulated world. Brazil self reports over half the pop is lonely. Social media overusers claim to have no real friends. We’re all in this together, right?

Then there’s the most family-oriented, romantic, friend-gathered holiday of them all: Xmas. God is love and Santa is giving and stores want you to come on back now, y’hear. But for many, this ideal deepens the chill and heightens the emptiness. Those commercials, i’m telling you, really rub it in.

I’m not entirely sure if featuring a month of solstice solitude will achieve cathartic relief for us or drive us toward the beckoning arms of self harm… but, gotta stay busy.

Start with the blues, amiright? Marc Broussard claims to be coming home when it’s “Almost Christmas“. I hope it’s the solution he needs right now. Home can be standoffish.

Metal to balance: “You’re Alone on Christmas Eve” from Aristocorpse is probably BLUE ALERT (mine ears can not discern so, but i’d expect no less).

Also more mood than word, B. Wells (feat. DaVan Official) rap out “Christmas Time!” as if that were a bad thing.

Brad and Barry turn down the indie rock to 11 with the blubbering “I’ll be Alone for Christmas“. Not introspective so much as it is deflated. Catching the mood just by listening, so–affective AF.

Woven in Hiatus says There’s an emptiness I feel when you’re not around. Well, it guess that means–you exist. “Joy” is anything but, rolling around sketchy imagery and partial feelings while turning a fair indie melody into sound.

Alan Jackson pulls out all the tissues with “Merry Christmas to Me“, a country weeper with left behind wedding rings and pretend cards.

Lorrie Morgan employs more cliched tropes to less effect in her “Merry Christmas to Me“. Country leavings.

B2K R+Bs their demands in the pushy “Why’d You Leave Me on Christmas“. Boy band whimpering for the masses.

“Sickly Sweet Holidays” is a cry for comfort from Dallon Weekes. He needs your nurturing, your nursing, your presence. Solid rock.

Creamed Corn aren’t sure who they’re missing. But “Merry Christmas, Carol” is a fine melange of if onlys and wonderments set to almost Hawaiian indie. Cool.