Hippie Freak

Foster Gray & The JJs insists “Santa is an Arsonist.” Evidence? He brings coal! Unplugged garage fooling around.

Arne Åsmund uses cowboy pop to prove in “X to the Masses” that Santa rose in the criminal ranks from lowly drug runner to strung out street person.

Santa’s Got the Munchies” folk pops Jet Baker, implying some irresponsibility on the part of that important delivery system. Better get more cookies!

Protesting too much Charlie Stewart electro-countries “Santa Claus Ain’t a Hippie.” Hey, isn’t protesting what hippies do?

Neil Halstead covers Fountains of Wayne’s “The Man in the Santa Suit” with pathos the original didn’t have. Ah, the futility of Santa in a modern age!

Fruitcakes (give it a moment to start…) parodies “Santa Claus is Coming” with a trip to ‘The Price is Right’ to win a new sleigh. Makes him look like a dummkopf.

Nor does Dianna Corcoran take the “Funny Little Fat Guy” in a red suit seriously. Serious country rock, though. Stalking much?

D’modes undermines the whole thing in “The Silly Season.” Swinging pop criticism that STARTS with Santa. Rated M.

Benny Grunch & The Bunch point around the back of the neighborhood ’cause “Santa and His Reindeer Used to Live Rite Here.” Cajun rap. This is good stuff.

Fat Daddy

Worth repeating: “Fat Daddy” by Paul ‘Fat Daddy’ Johnson was a Baltimore fave from 1963 on, dug up and shared by John Waters. It’s not really S.C. but the spirit is here through jazzy doo wop RnR.

Santa’s Getting Bigger” is charming folk from Bob Wire & Chip Whitson, who might be somewhat understanding.

Tesse slows the roll with an R+B sorta-rap “Fat Man in a Red Suit.” It’s sad, but we need to accept those things we can’t change.

Dale Jarvis dramatizes the domestic enabling that causes our protagonist to become “Fat Like Santa.” There’s a certain sound to those comedy songs for FM morning shows back in the ’90s. This is it: 15% country, 35% pop, 45% funny voices, 5% audacity.

Mr. Weebl’s 2015 Advent Calendar o’ songs included “Fat Santa Claus,” a jittery pop celebration of–a dog? Nevermind, dance!

Richie McDonald rollicks a kiddie country sing along with “Why Santa’s Fat.” Surprisingly, it’s not from overeating….

Salsa be bop from Bill Darnell and the Smith Brothers perks up the topic! “Too Fat to be Santa Claus” casts suspicion on the next red-suited impersonator. He won’t fit in the outfit!

The Jolly One

St. Nicholas Sky” is some odd offering from the cast of ‘Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark.’ (That show where a guy died and it never opened.) So the whole look at Santa go thing is kinda creepy. Dramatic rock, though.

Grunge parody will help! Alpha Test Pilot grumbles and groans through “Smells Like Mince Pies.” Not a put down, so much as grated praise.

Beastie Boys parody next, please! “Santa Claus!” from Brian Downton is just the right amount of shouting.

Another parody! ManiacClown & Kruxy sell “The Sack” with poor equipment but possible energy. You Are Santa.

The Rubettes (feat. Alan Williams) play it straight this time for “Santa Claus” (a speech impediment), a reverent cheer.

Reggae Xmas Song” begins with concerns. But Robert Boog brings this island gentleness to positivity, as reggae can do. It’ll be alright.


Naughty? Nice? “When Santa Claus Gets Your Letter” all will be made clear. Tex Ritter and his Six Shooters cowboy the soft pop to explain it to you.

Buck Owens and his Buckaroos plug in more electric country to further the edification with “Tomorrow is Christmas Morning.” Swinging.

Lee Harris & the Sour Note Singers takes us by the boogie woogie “Way Up North.” Guess who’s waiting up there?

Nancy Hanson unravels sprightly bluegrass for her “Santa is Coming.” Sounds like down home.

The Surfers’ “Hawaiian Santa” is even cooler with his accoutrement (and his penchant for surfing!). The Surfers make a hula of this praise.

Merry Chin Tuft

ESL Games brings us a silly way to teach adjectives to any child. But “Santa’s Beard” uses kidsong to create fluffy clouds of animal shapes on Father Xmas’s face, and now i’m scarred for life.

Floff play the nonsense word ploy for their light indie blue grass “Santa’s Beard’s Gone Grey.” Boom dicka adjicka. That’s good face fluff.

Willis ‘Daddy Wings’ Pinney & Reginald ‘Ras Regg’ Martin stomp the parang with their “Santa’s Beard.” It’s not only iconic, it’s itchy.

Stop, Drop, and Roll

House fires are more common around the holidays due to the advanced stupidity that coddles the rabid consumer. That and the decline of Western Civilization.

Eye Suck industrializes garage rock for a visit to a “Bad Christmas.” We’re all suffering, my dudes.

It’s just the tree for Destroying Something Beautiful in the whispery indie “The Worst Christmas We Ever Had.” Family dysfunction!

Simpler parody from Dave Williams. “O Schadenfreude” takes on the Fox News conspiracy that their public spectacle of a (fake) tree was torched as a hate crime in 2021.

Zydeco fun from Dave & Jeanine advising you NOT to forget to “Put Out the Ol’ Yule Log.” Consequences of such a lapse include inferno.

Get Offa My Lawn!

Property damage can be a felony if motivated by some of that racism stuff i was just trying to get beyond. So only break windows of people you don’t know anything about, kids!

It’s pretty rotten when it happens to you! Elfie of Christmas Workshop Band shares the pain when the “Dog Ate My Christmas Toy.” Experimental pop heavy on the electronics and amateurism.

The “Vandalizing Reindeer” in Flooded Cellar’s folk ballad go after the narrator’s car–with him in it! But it’s parked in the snow, and results only in a three-day standoff. Not so much vehicular damage here.

Tippin’ Over the Christmas Tree” is fine sing-along blues from Beatnik Turtle. Seems negligent rather than malevolent. Sax solo!

JINGLE JERKS punk grunge their “Christmastime Unholy Fruitcake Massacre” as a purge night license to unleash holy hell. Some persons may get injured, but i’m more worried about Mr. Cantmeier’s front yard inflatable camo Santas.

Piedmont Songbag fingers Mr. Feldenstein as hiring the kids to go about Christmas week “Popping the Inflatables” for money. So felonious conspiracy to a lovely Germanic backbeat (and Klezmer finish!).

Well, Blech

Worst Time of the Year” as mumbled by Andor frets over loneliness and… other stuff. Man, they harshed my buzz.

Poverty contributes to “Mr German Luiz Manzanos Worst Christmas Ever II.” Kristian Noel Pedersen tinkles some ivories into blues. For Christmas!

Worst Time of the Year” from Shaprece w/House of Breaking Glass returns, allowing how great Xmas is, except when we’re broken up, you see. Jazzy R+B.

The Worst Time of the Year” for Brathair is a homesick Christmas. The USA just isn’t Ireland. Not in December anyways.

X Files-mas: Mari Lwyd

A trip to South Wales reveals a tradition lost to time in which a horse’s head (skull) was set on a pole and followed house to house with singing for food and drink (wassailing). The translation for this community fete seems to be ‘gray mare’ or it could ‘blessed Mary’ bc of the wintry times it’s enacted. I’m betting on the former.

For local flavor let’s sample a Celtic verse: “Mari Lwyd” by Carreg Lafar. Huh? (Take it from me, the songs about this oddness are mostly NOT English.)

Eglish Acoustic Collective seem to codeswitch in their “Mari Lwyd.” Might be a manger in there.

Wassailing With The Mari Lwyd” by Sloar+Mordor gives a prog rock side to the hand out beggary.

S.J. Tucker sings to “Welcome Mari Lwyd” with New Age picking and thumping. Open that door, man!

House Made of Dawn is more threatening in the give and take of their “Mari Lwyd.” Stale bread!

A Silly Little Time takes the time to warn all outsiders of the “Mari Lwyd.” Scary stuff, but old folk Celtic so also pretty.

Yo Ho Ho Ho-Crossed Cannons album

The Crossed Cannons seem like a coupl’a talented guys. Their guitar, tambourine, drum and knee slapping creates just the right rum-soaked venue for their old-timey carol parodies. “Red Sky at Night” makes violent light of ‘Silent Night.’ But “Eggnog in a Jar” is way old world folk. Not sure of it’s source. “Roll Santa’s Sleigh Along” is pure shanty. Fun for the whole family, with less pirate rage. “I’m Stuck in the Chimney” is sing-along cute. There’re a couple near-misses, but overall, A Pirate Christmas Story is a great addition to your pirate Christmas music collection. There is also a video of their show with amusing patter.