That’s Enough!

At the end of their ropes, these singers perpetuate the vicious cycle of nanny nanny boo boos.

Santa gets angry in ninjahedgehog’s BLUE ALERT rap “$anta Clau$.” This silliness is all naughty, no nice.

Surf rock takes the sting out of this vitriol! Make Like Monkeys catch Santa visiting and make him a hostage until he answers the simple question: “What U Got?” High pressure intimidating sitch (with a sorta happy ending).

Yuletide: All Ashore

Most of human civilization began near waters. Food, drink, and eventually escape were at the opposable thumbtips. For novelty music purposes our holiday wetness mainly boards boats. It’s fun, a bit of a getaway. Unless it’s work; then it can kill ya. ‘Salso a grand metaphor. (Heavens ‘I Saw Three Ships (Come Sailing In)‘ is not about watercraft at Bethlehem–which had no seaport! Prolly the ships of the desert–camels–for the Magi.) So, just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale… or an odd song or two.

By inches, now. We begin at the launching point. Punters get a git traditional but with electronic guitars for the prettily paid “Christmas in the Harbour.” This may be home, with no intention of venturing. But it’s Irish.

Donna Lewis’s “Christmas Lights” may refer to harbor lights, or may just reflect on the seasonal ambience. Indie gymnastics.

Wait for the Wait

Regrettably, i am partial to a time loop. The same thing sung over and over, mantra-like, induces a transcendental state in me–like waiting for Christmas.

I Can’t Wait for Christmas” is the entire libretto for this ’90s pop slow-build garage chant o’ happiness. King Everything makes the point stick. I mean, wow.

A bit more Nashville, Cody Trout Band also redelivers “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Listen carefully, one swinging word gets the switcheroo. Wow, wow, wow.

Expanding on our theme Vince Vance conducts cheerful children in a choir of “Can’t Wait ’till Christmas Day.” There’s a real churchy song in here (amidst all the greediness), but that redundant chorus hammers home the message. Ow.

This is such a sub-niche of micro-genre, let’s wind up with a redundant melody, but REAL SURFER VIBE. Laurie Biagini conquers the big wave (wait?) with “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Cowa-blitzen!

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Spruce Up the Doug Fir

Tinsel! Bulbs! Balls! ‘Corn! Go! GO!!

Kidsong from Phil and the Osophers in the drummer boy driven “Decorate the Christmas Tree.” Special attention to each ornament makes Mommy and Daddy happy.

Can Plank Road help? “Decorate the Tree” is funny jazz noodling for the undeveloped chorale.

Maybe we better get EVERYONE. Three Day threshold & Summer Villains pull a sprightly jug band approach to “Decorate the Christmas Tree.”

Also asking for help, Alan Banana sets the alarm to decorate the “Christmas Tree.” Jouncy jazzy kid fun.

Need a break? Here’s the family made musical play ‘The Christmas Stranger’ song “Decorate the Tree” with all the children, talented or otherwise impressed into the stormy show tune.

For Nichol & Wilde, to “Hang a Decoration on the Christmas Tree” is to have a party. This ’50s girl rock inspired electronica is only a party in low gear. No one’s branch-diving here.

Throwback Day! As previously hailed, awesome Xmas parody band The ’60s Invasion takes on the Lemon Pipers’ 1967 ‘Green Tambourine’ with their “Green Christmas Tree.” My brand of hilarity with ornaments.

Kenny and Dave as The Carol Kings apply surf music to “Decoratin’ Our Tree.” No wacky wipeout jokes, no crashing wave sounds–just Christmas business. Wild.

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: pop 7

Let’s foreclose our popular music songs about snowmen with what the kids call the latest thing.

Big Snowman” from Navarro plays alt with our ices. Protect your hearts, ‘migos.

Dale and the Deadheads narrate a long ago time when snow came down like snow. “Bill, the Snowman” is a beatnik throwback comedy bit worth a party play.

Guided by Voices, did i tell you this already, drop “Doughnut for a Snowman” as prog rock pretty pop. I can’t remember what i was talking about….

Experimetnal jazz screaming from Cattle Drums. “Snowman Won’t Melt” eventually rocks every which way but on key.

Folk blues psychedelia doesn’t begin to describe “Jon the Snowman” by Jack Spann. Look out.

Dreamy psychedelia, “The Waving Snowman,” make The Wytches the band to watch.

Gregory Scott Slay bases his “Visit with a Snowman” on a visit with a snowman. More psychedelic rock with a metal backbeat. Snowman laid down this track, too. BLUE ALERT

Angry but oh so danceable is the punk BLUE ALERTViki is a Snowman.” The Jims holler largely for one minute.

Odd but danceable, “Ex-Snowman” by Big City fills you required ironic pop daily allowance.

Nihilistic pop from The Naked Picassos warns about that watching “Snowman.” Run, kids.

Disco funk expressed by Holidelic results in “Snowman’s Lament.” Give ’em snowballs! Watch out!

Pop mixed media allows Strangejuice to get sentimental, yet surreal, with their “Snowman.”

Pop punk garage by Go Eat Worms make “vs. the Snowman” a saga of surprising power.

Angry garage separates “Snowman” into three round balls. The Fezz throws gas on the fire of mujsic.

Emo garage from Kenzi Gregory unravels joy with “My Snowman.” Well, more than one. They don’t last. Hate my life.

Grrl garage pounding from The Ravens. “Evil Frosty Snowman” is not what you think it is.

Banging garage metal from Nothing to Envy portrays “Yeltsin the Snowman” as a scary monster. Surprized?

Record label Flying Bomb has been an outlet for punk, garage, experimental music since the ’90s. White Stripes got their toehold to success here. Now let’s dip into their phenomenal Xmas compilation from ’02. Happy Supply’s “Young Snowman Got It Bad, ‘Cause He’s So Round” puts the frozen one back on the street, in a cheerful love song.

This comes by way of good buddy Pete the Elf.

Juiced for the High Holidays

Alcoholics have to make nice, or at least spew the other direction, during the holidays.

Uncle John brings the Christmas miracle in The Mcdrinkers’ “Drunk on Christmas.” Celtic punk has cobblestone cred. And the boys do indeed rock.

Melancholic becomes the mindset of the mostly muzzy, as evinced by Michael C. Pearson in “My Beerdrunk Soul Is Sadder Than All the Dead Christmas Trees of the World.” It’s unplugged psychedelia, haunting and hurting.

King Automatic and Rich Deluxe jam some surf guitar into their crooning carol “Stay Drunk at Christmas.” It lends a secret agent vibe to an odd mix of Scary Father Christmas footage among the hard living Gauls and Deutsche in the ’60s. Dipsomania seems the norm, sad to say.

Christmas List: item eighteen (a girl)

Well, if it’s not you, not love… how ’bout–anybody? Any two legs off the street? Desperate times are often represented on Santa’s list.

Awkward poser Jack Douglass tells you all about it in “All I Want for Christmas is a Girlfriend.” Do you copy? He’s not picky.

The Refreshments are also unparticular when they claim “I Want a New Baby for Christmas.” Guess as long as it’s not the old baby…. Rollickin’ jerry lee piano, but not exactly rock.

Slightly more picky is Bigg Robb who claims “I Want a Big Woman for Christmas.” This is a bit dull-witted, and largely spoken word (not on my blog)… but Robb tries so hard. I mean, he doesn’t even swear. Ups, my man.

Higher standards are espoused by Jonas Brothers who individually rock out “All I Want for Christmas is the Girl of My Dreams.” They’re going to get her, too. If they weren’t so adorable, i’d call the cops.

The New Edition is very specific when they chant like ballad-bots “All I Want for Christmas is My Girl.” It’s cult-astir! (I suspect you shouldn’t give her to them, not with that weird theremin electronic bit.) Is “candy girl” code for something really wrong?

The Knickerbockers surf us back to the ’60s with “I Want a Girl for Christmas.” It sounds so harmless with harmony like that. Not like human trafficking at all.

You Auto Have a Merry Christmas: hot rods-5

Meshugga Beach Party has also cashed in on the surfer craze in the last ten years. These Bay Area bagels rock instrumentally for the most part. (I like “Go Go Golem” and visualize drag racing through the back ways of Marin County.) But we’re here to race, so please have patience with “Hot Rod Hanukkah,” the titular tune off their 2011 album. It’s slow to start. And to lap. And to finish. It takes eight nights.

You Auto Have a Merry Christmas: hot rods-4

Time to slow it down and listen to the hemi purr.

Malibooz were 1960s surf rock from the East coast. they only lasted a couple years, but so did surf rock. Despite going separate ways, the boys were drawn together to compose original surfer tunes for movies in the late ’80s and early ’90s. Then surf movies became more of the zeitgeist of the ’00s: Malibooz returned. Good for them. Their Christmas album A Malibu Kind of Christmas from 1992 has unfortunate wipe-outs to the tune of ‘Rudolph’ and ‘Drummer Boy.’ Original jams like upbeat “Santa Man” and downer “Christmastide” serve them much better.

Today we’re concerned with “Santa Drives a Super Stock Dodge.” It comes across as more pretty than roaring Tom Petty, but the young harmony back ups and awkward ad lib shout outs personalize the piece. One of a kind.