Let’s just get to the consummation of woman and myth.

Covering up a torrid affair? Blame that guy who is okay to drop by at night! But Unckle Eddie realizes CSanta Claus don’t come in July in “Summertime Santa.” Overly electric blues.

Rollin’ in the Sheets” is the BLUE ALERT parody of ‘Rollin’ in the Deep’ but with Mr. Christmas making two to tango. Fizzbitch-goon goes all amateur out.

Fred Schneider & the Superions stage the sex act with Santa in “Santa Je T’aime.” It’s not so much a song as an exercise in voyeurism.

On the other mitten, Betty & Jack pretend to play garage rock badly with “I Don’t Want to Fuck You (Santa Claus).” Oh, and BLUE ALERT.

In fact, there’s not enough heterosexual encounters with that jolly old elf. So let’s gay one more time for the rock’n’roll “Sexy Santa” by Red Vs Blue.


When Santa’s done with you–? What then?

Uncle Eddie (feat. Joy) feels left and “It was Santa Claus.” Mostly this is about getting nothing for Xmas, but the blues are comprehensive. And there may be touching.

Santa Left Me (On Our Last Date)” blubbers out Sheila Powers. Rock to cry over.

Santa Broke Up with Me on Christmas” is the experimental garage psychedelia from Stone Cold. Wah.

BrikLikesChicken is more poractive with the silly electronica “I Wanna Break Up with Santa Claus.”


Altogether now! WE ALL LOVE SANTA!

Oh Santa (We Love You)” is Eden Riegel’s honkytonk adjacent easy listening call out to the Big Guy.

Dave Dudley quiets us down with a little story about “Reverend Deacon,” the pastor of a poor neck of the woods. He prays, the kids sing how much they love Santa, and happy materialism follows. Half spoken country.

Everybody shout out: “We Love Santa!” Why Michael Scott Dublin (feat. Michael Bates) punctuate the hard hitting blues pop with FM morning show sfx, we’ll never know. Zany, wot?


Who would fall for this fat, old guy?!

Maybe it’s just the wanton shopper who associates Santa with the sexy things she wants for Xmas. In Yulelog’s “Naughty List” the propositions include Mrs. Claus (with a double dildo), and rubbing his ‘baby Jesus ’til the eggnog flows.’ BLUE ALERT!

Or, she fell for him ‘cuz she IS Mrs. Claus, and you didn’t know–(?) The Skivvies (they appear in underwear) mash up several carols for the odd tale of “Santa’s Baby.” That changes everything.

What would be worse is when “Santa’s My Daddy.” The cast of ‘Naughty… but Nice’ take turns with a daughter and a son. But the implications are still oogy.

Dysfunctional Family Band deals with the domestic abuse violence “When I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus“–and so did Dad! Jolly light pop, but what a mess.

Cyndi Lauper recounts what could be the most famous faller for Father C with the seasick ragtime-lite pop “Minnie and Santa.” Girl be crazy. This is one of my favorites.


Waiting for Santa takes on a different light depending on what you’re wearing. Or NOT wearing….

Again? Kat Perkins is gonna be “Up All Night” for you-now-who. He makes her sleigh bells jingle! Syncopated jazzy pop.

I Know What’s Santa’s Getting for Christmas” is bluegrass country that implies more than it sins. But i’m reading between the mistletoes. Joey + Rory must have an open relationship

Just as eager, but not so overtly so, Cocktail Slippers look forward to when “Santa’s Comin’ Home.” Retro girl rock that brings it home. (Warning: may incur stalking.)

The cast of ‘Naughty… But Nice’ take a moment to anticipate the annual visit of–apparently–a master class is naughty. “Waiting Up for Santa” is full of lounge jazz innuendo. I’m all sweaty now.


Again! Danish tuba backs Christiane Bjørg Nielsen crooning whispery “Who’s That Hunk in the Santa Suit?” Cool.

D’Modes takes a moment to electronically soft pop how “Santa Claus is Real Fine Lookin’.” She admiring of his gear, and his talents. He’s not just a piece of meat (to some).

Pistol Annies have a crush on Santa, and they can’t wait. “Come on Christmastime” they harmonize about their intended rendezvous. Electric country.

For a man your age… begins Shemekia Copeland with bluesy soul about her favorite Xmas man. After only one kiss she calls “Stay A Little Longer, Santa.” Will he abandon his route for her–?

Jane Green with Craig Brown profess to be “Lovesick for Saint Nick” in the most showtune way possible. It’s sweet.


Santa doesn’t get propositioned for nothing–!

Smashing that chimney dumper has happened before ’round the blog.

BLUE ALERT for the straight. Sukihana keeps it transactional for Santa. She’ll be the triple “Ho Ho Ho” so long as she gets gifted. Mad rap.

Good girls sound more like Mellee Fresh when she’s synthing “Santa You Promised.” She wants jewels, a car, and her sugar daddy.

Cookies for goodies? “Santa Got Me Trippin‘” is the industrial rap (with R+B) about macking on the big man (or his missus), but not without a price. From Dunst and Friends.

Mary Criddell wants a “Santa Rockafella.” She doesn’t make offers, but she does leaning the rockabilly especially hard. Everything’s dirtier when rockabillied.


More again? BLUE ALERT for the fluid. jobytheartist flies a calmingly psychedelic freak flag for “This Christmas (I’m Boinking Santa).” Only he doesn’t sing boinking.

Cookies and Cream self censor (for comedic effect) in the flaming “Santa’s Big Gift.” Lisping pop.

Also lightly sexual, Six Cents & Natalie electronically pop “Secret Santa (You Could be the One).” It’s more shy than closeted. Like 80/20. Fun.

Santa’s Elves (that’s just the name of the band) parody ‘RESPECT’ with “Just a Little Kris.” They want the kisses awful bad.

The greatest Christmas I ever had, sings out OK2BGAY (feat. Gabriel) was “When Santa Kissed My Dad.” Insistent pop with a soupçon of country.

Santaphilic.13 BLUE ALERT

Yesterday’s sex with Santa tunes were rough trade. What about happy gay sex with that silver grizzly?

Again? We did some fun stuff with this topic a while back.

Suite 666 romps the punk with “Santa Blow Me.” It’s angry, but friendly.

Big Freedia asks for a boy (someone like you), bc “Santa is a Gay Man.” This is a Chordettes’ parody of ‘Mr. Sandman.’ Too raunchy?? There’s a clean cut from Charted (now that’s weird).

Jesse Hawkins keeps it clean(er) with “Santa Baby (Gay Vision).” This parody asks for clothes, and drugs, and a puppy. Very little kink, just expressions of the heart.