The Future: Robots (2)

The big star in Santa Robots is from the Matt Groening cartoon Futurama. Despite the show’s musicality, however, there’s no good santa-is-a-robot song from the series.

So here’s Bear Ron’s tribute to the show’s murderous Kringle: “Sci Fi Santa.” It’s got that unplugged end-of-the-world country music feel to it. (Not sure why robo-claus needs a robo-pup, though.)

The Future: Robots (1)

Santa might be a robot… he’s indefatigable, omnipresent, and instant.

Twelve2five deliver rave tech music. So i wouldn’t worry about the content so much. “Santa Bot” is just an electronic ride. Weee.

Robot Santa” by Four2one makes even less sense. I guess the whispery raps are naughty so BLUE ALERT. You’re on your own with this one, gang.

The Musers’ girlish chanting “Robot Santa” pushes my limit for modern electronic. Science fiction is starting to suck.

I renew my faith with Bret McKenzie (of the Flying Conchords) in Blazer Faith creating a video (apparently as a Target commercial… i missed this on TV). “Electronic Santa” rocks! or at least discos! It’s toy delivery and a party.

The Future: Outer Space (5)

Enough about Santa!

What about US in outer space having a grand old holiday?!

Much as i would love to take you on a tour of the solar system for Christmas on Mars, etc.–i can find no such musical love.

So how about we stay within our own orbit?

Well, UFO Phil is adamant that “There’s No Christmas on the Moon.” This retro ’60s kiddie rock, reveals the conspiracy of NASA to ruin Christmas with Apollo 11.

So to set the record straight, here is Songs for Children (is that the name of the band?) with “Christmas on the Moon.” Wotta youthful imagination!

Glenn Smith gets even more silly with “Christmas on the Moon” with the green cheese and the man in the… Wait–too childish and wildly waifish?

How about one this one: Runaway Symphony with “Christmas on the Moon“? The soft rock with overtones of Celtic lilting throughout gives U2 a run for their science fiction Christmas song money.

Detroit’s The GO tries a pop-rock variation with their “Christmas on the Moon.” Uncle Charlie and all the kids are talkin’ ’bout it.

Ready to moon rock out? Get down and dirty rockabilly with Slick Moss Explosion and “Christmas on the Moon.” Yeah, baby.

The Future: Outer Space (4)

Astronauts are our heroes. Santa is our hero. Easy to confuse them. Even today T. Graham Brown gets country swing with “Santa Claus is Coming in a UFO.” Some shredding axe there.

But back in the ’50s (where we’ve been this week), no less than Lawrence Welk’s band cashed in on the happy hopes for rocket travel. Here’s the Lennon Sisters (with some little girls helping) singing “Outer Space Santa.” Beep Beep Beep!


The Future: Outer Space (3)

“Santa Goes Modern” also tells of that jolly old elf hippin’ up to a flying saucer to make the rounds. Originally from the American Song Poem Project, wherein budding lyricists sent in their scribbling and their dollars to a hit-making-machine, and thern underworked musicians churned out singles for the hopeful. This laughing, rambling oddity has also been covered by cult alt band Yo La Tengo. Wild, weird, wintry.

But give it up for Rod Rogers and the Librettos and the original “Santa Claus Goes Modern.” Kids! Cringe along!

The Future: Outer Space (2)

Bobby Helms could be the godfather of rock ‘n’ roll Christmas novelty songs with his 1957 ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ and his early contribution to all things rockabilly.

But, the late ’50s is afire with the space race, so let’s not overlook the B-side to that Xmas hit: “Captain Santa Claus and His Reindeer Space Patrol.” We know not to be afraid with our man in red in space.

The Future: Outer Space (1)

Most cool outer space Christmas is based on Santa. As baby boomers grew up through the space race, they began to see how Santa could visit every kid’s house in just one night (not time travel! that’s silly!). It was through rocket ship technology, whether atomic or magical.

Check out Doreen Allen getting all rockabilly with Johnny Collins & The Caravans in their “Spacey Santa’s Spaceship.” Cute kid warblers were small town success for Bible business from the turn of the Last Century. Then money from vaudeville gave us Shirley Temples. And more money from the beginning of rock ‘n’ roll gave us The Collins Kids. Not sure when this music was recorded, but it wails.

The Future: Aliens! (4)

A couple songs seem just a wee more grown up.

Alienation means we just don’t belong–NONE OF YOU EVER LOVED ME!! Being an alien can be so sad. The Pocket Gods sing about the disenfranchised extra terrestrials in “Alien Xmas Song.” Soft rock emo hopeful wistful noise.

More rocking (alt/folk) are The Hot Buttered Elves, investigating what weird genealogy Santa must have with “Alien Santa.” Clap along!

Rednecks and aliens have always shared a special relationship. Watching the skies is like watchin’ out for revenuers. But getting abducted and probed is just some more family drama for inbred backwoods hillbillies. So give a minute to the foolishness of anote4u’s “Aliens Stole My Christmas Tree.” Hee hee haw.

The Future: Aliens! (3)

Kids love aliens of all kinds, even big scary ones. So, some novelty Christmas songs are for the children.

Sometimes all we need to do is retell a Christmas carol with the occasional gloss for SF alien terms in place of the traditional holiday words. Bill Michaels tells us ‘The Night Before Christmas’ as “Alien Christmas.” Creepy. Get the guy a lozenge.

Professor Steve believes the funniest sounds to make for kids are from the Road Runner and Batman’s Penguin. His “Alien Christmas” is appropriately annoying and approachable. Nanu nanu.

About the best kid-lovin’ alien/Xmas song around is by Fountains of Wayne. Known for ‘Stacy’s Mom,’ this is one of those emo-rock groups continually featured behind emotional TV series moments to set the mood. In other words, successful whether or not you buy their stuff.

Here is “I Want an Alien for Christmas” off their album Out of State Plates. (Some dope animation, illustration, and skitting out there for this song, but i dig the lyrics verzh ’cause i keep mishearing them.) It’s so cute and ET and crap.

The Future: Aliens! (2)

One of the creepiest translations of the Christmas story is the Erich von Daniken Chariots of the Gods late ’60s conspiracy that all extra terrestrials are us from the future or our ancestors. God(s) means human/Jesus is human god/that’s an alien, dude. (It helped to be high to swallow all of this.)

Glen Scrivener draws an analogy between “The Martian Came Down” and the angel Gabriel coming down for the Advent. Swinging kid folk with a confusing message. Poor children in  the audience!

Chris de Burgh goes full ’70s psychedelic folk with his “A Spaceman Came Traveling,” likely picturing Bowie as the man who fell to Earth. This guy hit it big in ’68 with ‘The Lady in Red’ and has continued his singing career in Norway and Brazil. Here he meanders through images that may or may not be Christmas.