Category: R&B

Since we can’t be bothered to pronounce Erasmus, we say ELMO. For the patron saint of sailors, it means protection.

Mike Bryant tries for another novelty Christmas song with “Elmo“. He’s a reindeer with a funny name. then Santa gets sick… (me too). Trouncing kidsong.

You were probably expecting Sesame Street representation. Say no more–! Interval recalls that old friend that got away. Some say she’s a Spanish anchor, others a jewel thief or that she faked her own death. Worst of all, comes the bell-ridden pop beat rumor that she’s a “Times Square Elmo“. He looks for you under the red fur every Xmas Eve.

Perhaps you’d prefer the AI kidsong monstrosity of “Elmo’s Christmas” as done in by TVKiDo. Sheesh.

Then there’s the R+B smoove love call “Coming Home” in which Digitized Inhalation states This elmo don’t burn the same/Without your glow within my frame. (Prolly that’s a reference to the 2012 ‘Hellmo’ failure fire of meme fame.) Oh… and it IS home for the holidays, what what.

DONALD is a mighty ruler in Scots Gaelic. Try not to read too much into it.

For example, Artofdefiance uses pop AI to spell out “Blowing Bubba on a Christmas Night“. Doesn’t mean head of the country or nothing with its Donald this and Bubba that. Just a kooky song.

“Donny X-mas” is stuttering funk rap from Sensitive Men. It’s from Canada. Could be any Donny.

Who’s that guy in Joni Mitchell’s “Face Lift“? Experimental folk getting into trouble bc of some Donald down her street.

In Toni Nebraska’s “Ghost of Christmas Whiskey” Donald’s passed out on gin in the alley. Not sure who that means. AI gospel country with a penchant for beat poetry.

I don’t need much excuse to repeat NightHeart’s “Donny the Reindeer“. This retro rock pop plays on loop in the soundtrack of my life.

Let’s try a new one: “Dashing Donny” is R+B overdone by The Claus Academy of Flight. More reindeer stuff.

Whether a Brown or a Keaton, BUSTER be crackin’ you up. Just naturally.

‘Go Buster’ seems to be a kid show of tropes and cliches, just like the wee ones want. “Buster’s First Snow” is set to ‘Jingle Bells’; so is “Buster and the Sleigh“. “Buster Builds a Snowman“, however, elevates the oeuvre into monoto-pop. BTW, Buster here is a juvenile bus.

On the other hand: “Buster: The Christmas Cat” by Coffee On Mars relates the frolics of a man-eater in cute widdle R+B pop.

ALICE never struck me as hoity-toity, then i read that it came from the German Adelaide. Well, how-dyee-do. Modern connotations have to do with innocence yet challenging societal norms. (Cf. Cooper, Walker)

Toby Deane and the Hummingbirds lay down the kidsong “Alice in Christmas Wonderland” briefly before the Disney movie appeared. big band, but a bit spooky.

More modern “Alice the Christmas Camel” counts down the gradual maiming of a ship of the desert… or was that a mirage? Piccolo Music may be from Down Under as their sense of humor is wicked indeed.

Two Ronnies misspeak lyrics with their burlesque “Alice in Her Winter Underwear“. This BBC comedy from the ’80s gets quite political.

Bendy and the Ink Machine Song (feat. Lindsay Joan) use recognizable pop to portray “Alice Angel’s Christmas“. But this metal themed menace stinks of AI, so i’m two minds here. Weird/boring. From some video game.

In “The Tale Of Alice (Live From CCS)” Jon Smith’s Voyages spins a tale of sheltered womanhood busting out. Christmas presents are earned, but not appreciated. Curious Brit rock.

Down to earth country harmony helps “Christmas At Aunt Alice’s“, a sentimental journey from Melodie. Also five outta ten.

Drunk ballading, Idle reveals–through too much “Eggnog“–that he wants/has Alice, so he’s crossing her off his list. R+B rap that’s only a tad tipsy.

Endiamonds phrases “I Don’t Wanna Kiss You” like the flirtiest alt rock from the ’90s you might stumble upon. Don’t you pucker….

Chuck Phillips utilizes little boy voice to chilling effect with “That’s True Love“. It IS about what he wants for Xmas. It’s also indie country with haunting harmonica.

Jazz royalty Nancy Wilson asks for holding and kissing, in fact “That’s What I Want for Christmas“, she croons, from you. Persuasive.

Brendan Dalton & The 1740 Boys Choir get vague when filking “Thinking of You on Christmas (The Final thoughts of Gandalf the Grey)“. Not sure WHO he would spend his last lucidity musing upon, but it be awrful romantical.

Thinking of you this year, Mark Hand spends “This Christmas” lounge bar jonesing over your presence. Velvety.

Aushai dwells on home and family for “This Time of Year“, but her R+B seduction includes a shout out Wishing love to your and yours. That’s an invitation.

Johnny O sultries the jazz for “Christmas in Your Eyes“. It’s all subjective, but then so’s love, brother.

Dude York goes for the girl band sound with “My Favorite Part (Of This Time Of Year)“. It’s all about you, so lean into this pop rocker.

MusicMadeByUs infuses pop with polka for “My First Christmas With You“. Too cool for easy listening, too cute for rock. Just white.

BVJTheProject falls back on pop with “My Gift”. Some testing of the soul vocal range, but pretty straight forward pablum.

Gwen Stefani overproduces but still dwells in the pop for “My Gift is You“. She also wants love AND the truth. Gotta pack that wish list so you can settle for what you DO get.

Alexander O’Neal modulates Motown for the yacht rock feeling in “My Gift to You“. It sure sounds sincere.

Bob Malone is looking for forgiveness in a “Christmas with You“. The song rocks, but what’s in it for her?

Denver Duncan’s “Christmas with You” is a pop celebrant with way more synth than ecstasy calls for. Weeee!

In Love talks around his object d’amor. While the songs is entitled “Christmas with You“, the lyrics are all like the girl and she/her. Pokey indie that seems to have slipped a cog on the playback.

Jorden Milnes and Steven Mcgill have a bone to pick with the carcass of Christmas leftovers. But “Christmas with You” will solve all portion control problems. Indie pop.

Also making the best out of a birthday for Christ, Madisen Renee (feat. Riza Singal) welcome “Christmas with You“. Gospel indie.

Marion Meadows uses sax and R+B to delineate “Christmas with You“. Boss party. Not sure it’s cozy….

Christopher Barret suffers “Christmas Dreams” of you and misteltoe. Now i’m suffering, too. Barely held together falsetto over easy listening.

Lindi Ortega tries to be more sanguine when it’s “Christmas Eve with You“. But her western warbling grows more desperate with the anticipation. Take it as a compliment.

If The Temptations had you around, ‘twould be “Christmas Everyday“. Swinging, jazzy doo wop–but with less harmony.

The Mavericks gently chill with jazzy blues in the affective “Christmas for Me (Is You)“. It’s croon nation for me.

Can you hear me? Elizabeth Chan wants to know. Jazzed for lounge, “Christmas Forever” addresses her feelings for you. Hyperbole, stat.

The Four Tops go over the top with “Christmas Here with You“. Laid back R+B with a slender coating of Motown disco. Still, they’re so nice.

The Smugglers grunge their insecurities with “Lonely Christmas”. It’s all about who can hurt whom.

AI makes The Mockery of “Lonely Christmas Nights“. Pretend rock names names and blames blames. Oh, well.

“Why Am I Alone At Christmas?” holler Bailey and Zane to pop western. Ask Santa, my bubbas.

The Weeknd hits the R+B so hard Sabrina Claudio squeaks out when it’s “Christmas Blues“. The big city takes its toll on you that way.

British Bulldog Records hits the R+B so softly boy band oozes out when they’re “Alone This Christmas“. The finger of blame is looking at YOU.

Will Gittens just lets R+B tell his story about fearing “Christmas Alone” without you. Sad, but mostly in creeper mode.

Exxon foretells of no more of that “Christmas Alone” thing. Yet the prog rock trips all over itself waving angry irony like a flag.

Emerson Brophy slurs the holidays–and you, while refusing that anyone should be “Alone on Christmas“. Except you. Comic pop. Good one.

“This Ain’t No Time Of Year To Be Alone” is blue grass snark from Mark Erelli with a fine breakdown solo. St. Nick is no substitute for you, babe.

That movie, “Home Alone“, is back in the blog again when Heatmaps R+Bs the insouciance of Kevin (2: New York) not even caring.