End of the Line, Fatso

Experimental ‘music’ from Concave Onion claims Santa is a multiple murderer. And it’s “Worse Than Coal.” Sheesh.

Psycho Ho Ho” from El Camino features a Santa who has fewer motivations, but rockabilly menace. I’d steer clear.

Davey Dips’s “Post-Traumatic Santa Claus Disorder” is a rap tale about Billy who is orphaned by that red menace. Oh, it’s just a movie.

Comeuppance arrives from Hot Buttered Elves who find “Pieces of Santa” all over the front room. This new age indie offering makes it sound like El Giftarella was delivering faulty ordnance. Ouch. Still, magic sack….

Ben & Tucker admit through gritted teeth and folk strumming that Santa Claus is dead… and now he’s coming for me! Tune in to “White Turns Red” to find out more.

Please… Don’t… I Have Children….

Vengeance escalates, then murder. For christmas!

The most twisted vengeful song only digs one grave with the pop wisecracking of Kunt and the Gang in “Kuntish Christmas.” Lots of evil wishing, so don’t worry.

Santa’s Revenge” is a new age lite metal from Infinity Greenhouse about Dead Santa returning to grant atom bombs to the kids, to make the world pay for their sins. Is this Futurama?

Silent Night Deadly Night” is mass slaughter metal rocked from Vista Blue. The orphan says, they’re gonna pay. Now we got a song!

Young Mark’s “The Farewell Ballad of Holiday Wonderment and Joy and Blood Also” is a mini-show of in memoriam, but only screaming so at the end. Whoa, that came out of nowhere.

Inward Chills direct “CSI Lapland,” a tinkly ad lib folk corrado about Santa killing. Will justify prevail?

Sticks and Stones

Bad words hurt and can be a crime. But, when it’s Christmas we forgive everyone mean-minded, bigoted, mouth poisons! (right?)

Marshal Keep exhibits a hair trigger in his peppy pop “Jingle the Red Nosed Halls Christmas Tree.” Brace yourself.

My Christmas Wish” is faux metal from James H. Carter II. Aspiring to metal requires a certain menace. It’s in there, with reason (stole his tree!).

Salvador Buttersworth gets into it with the family in “Christmas on Love Avenue.” In this folk strummer he actually does turn the car around.

Could be Better BLUE ALERT

Out of the hellfire into the front room… Christmas is a special time of the year, but tragedy strikes when you least expect it. So are troubles over the holidays just more of the same, extra terrible, or some sort of test of your faith?

Bad times have come across the blog before. If you can’t laugh at them, then Sauron wins.

Out of money, out of hair, full of ants, Dieter Horvat can barely bear “Christmas (On a Wednesday).” Doom comes in all sizes especially in folk music.

The Doomsday Bunker Band stumbles under the burden of disappointment and despair of late December. Folk rock sells “The Christmas Hurtsmas Song.” To live is to suffer. BLUE ALERT

Damn That Holiday: Satan.6

Satan’s Christmas Tree of Fiery Shit​-​Filled Death” by Aristocorpse is merely another BLUE ALERT metal rage-filled antiestablishment announcement. Moving on….

Marlboro regrets celebrating “Christmas Everyday” pretty bad. He starts confusing God and The Devil, blaming whomever comes to mind. Satan go swallow a tack he declares, to get even with his folk rock.

Emit Bloch (with Michael Vinaver), equally hungover, regrets that “I Mispelt Santa, Satan.” No horrors are visited upon this misdeed, but children cried. Not ’cause of the chill folk pop melody, though. Oh no.

Damn That Holiday: devil.7

Perhaps it’s but geography, but “The Devil’s Bones (A Deserter’s Christmas)” has spooky musical saw noises. Ratatosk makes this horror warning out of an Old World waltz.

Grant Raymond Barrett tinkles the ivories with jelly roll blues for the classy/silly “The Devil Takes a Holiday.” Too good to let the leap bother me.

U.S. Christmas garbles the hillbilly country “Devil’s Flower in Mother Winter,” but it’s clear this is a dark worry and a frigid fear.

Das Blankout croons the folk “A Devil’s Christmas” with a grudge. It’s about breakup. Grumble grumble grumble.

Damn That Holiday: devil.1

Devils at Advent, awkward or no biggie?

Again, we understand that with the passing of Hallowe’en: No more witches flying brooms, no devils eating flames; All I see when I look up is 12 reindeer with Santa’s sleigh. So rocks Twilight Creeps with “Poison in the Mistletoe.”

Pastor Ned leads Canned Panda through “Devil Went to the North Pole.” Yeah, it’s Charlie Daniels karaoke twisted up for Something Awful.

The Ornaments of Bowling Green dramatize “The Devil’s Nativity” wherein ol’ Nick (not that one, the other one) visits The First Christmas. With goth-y folk it becomes clear, he’s not impressed.

Damn That Holiday: demons.1

Demons, figuratively, are the tormentors in our life whether internal or ex.

Christmas Days” by Armin van Buuren goes soaring indie with the mixed metaphor: demons of the past. They haunt, the interfere–they’re just ghosts.

I Don’t Wanna Go Home for Christmas” is Zoe Imperium’s indie floater about fighting demons in my head. The solution, don’t face the fear!

Allen Mask (feat. Dave Rosser, Lev Wilson & Carlina) has trouble with crazy womens. In “Maybe Then” he raps Is this just Merry Christmas For them demons in you? or will you listen to reason.

BLUE ALERT macexface raps about elf massacre and Santa horrors, inviting Boys and girls come out and see The demons that come out christmas eve. “I Don’t Wanna die on Christmas Eve” is a deal with the inner devil.

Mike Larson and Allison Iraheta sea shanty a yarn ’bout a little demon who gets all hepped up for a Christmas celebration in “Tinsel & Brimstone.” He LOVES Father Christmas, the wayward soul.

X Files-mas: Unicorns

Horses or cows or, more likely, goats with hooves and a horn up front have inspired our imagination for centuries, especially if you’re an eight-year old girl. Let’s play.

Country schlock from Tiny Totz Kidz celebrates the arrival of “The Christmas Unicorn” to do what Rudolph couldn’t–light Santa’s way. Huh?

Kidsong wonders Wouldn’t it be great to be The jolliest unicorn of the sea? in “It’s a Narwhal Christmas.” Had to include it.

Annisa Diadra sings “All I Want for Christmas is a Unicorn.” Not the parody it was expecting, but a lovely girl pop exploration of heart.

Still more girlishness from Claudia Robin Gunn about the helpful “The Xmas Unicorns.” They help with magic magic, magic magic. They also fly. [Her “Jingle Jangle Magic” also entertains, this time with unicorns AND trolls AND witches AND pixies AND more…..]

Quarantined malaise is reflected in the “Depressed Unicorn Christmas Song.” Kevin Drew leads us away from kids’ pap to more nuanced pop morphing into soul. Whoa.

Fraine River recounts with fine folk pop how fairy tales with Pegasus and “Unicorns” will help children believe in things like true love, even on Christmas Day. Don’t harsh my dumb, bro.

Yuletide: Poopdeck

Old timey sailors had it even harder. For Christmas.

1980s pop (with a gospel influence) may not be ancient, but Goombay Dance Band’s “Christmas at Sea” is about a simpler time. The tragedy is not being with family. That’s pretty much it. But you can dance to it.

Meg Davis runs over octaves with her classic operetta offering “Christmas at Sea.” It hurts to hear about it.

Old fashioned folk/country from Lloyd Snow brings in a Celtic influence. “Christmas at Sea” is frothy and light, but that’s only the foam floating on top. Its depths’ll kill.