Christmas Countdown: 7 seas and stuff

All around the worldall across the seven seas… “Thanks for Christmas” pops up XTC. It’s catchy. The strings help.

Lighter, but just as catchy of pop, sails in The Crowd at Dexter’s Theater with “Thicken Thinner.” So the tale tells: Traveling the seven seas, It’s hell out there I can really tell you; But I’m gonna make it home for Christmas–I gotta decorate a tree. I’m getting seasick!

The other reason to measure such an endless expense? jardinière‘d sail seven seas, Walk pole to pole, crawl on my knees–If it would only bring you home. “Christmas Grieve” is a driving folk ode to remember.

Bringing the funk (and the Grinch) Snoop Dogg and October London and Cocoa Sarai’s “Funky Christmasdon’t want no Christmas... Heaven knows I did seven shows; No Santa Claus no ho-ho-ho’s. It’s a downer you can dance to.

Lohmann and Ballinger send up the ’70s with “Santa Claus is Coming to Our Disco.” Not only that, but Hanukkah and Kwanzaa Is coming to our disco, Seven candles and Muhini. The reindeer are in drag and Baby Jesus is feeling the beat. Everybody get down tonight.

Christmas Countdown: 365.

365 overflows the calendar with possibilities. But Christmas is too special to generalize.

The frustration of The Bank Cormorants over missing out on “One More Christmas Tree” during this year’s shopping results in a dixieland jazz promise to decorate that ultimate tree with 365 ornaments next year. So there!

In memoriam, Rowlette and Craig Cooney preach that next year will be a New chapter, new story, 365 pages. “December” is the time to gospel/rap the message of taking a moment to consider. Just consider.

Specialness time! This is One day out of 3-6-5, so LiCon revises “I Wish You a Merry Christmas.” with his own individuality. Rap lyricality. And slurring.

So let’s party. Jiggley Jones is wiling to set aside foolish pride for “Christmas 365.” Harmonic pop with a touch of country unites all Christmas song titles to make some point.

Let’s end with the party to end the year of parties. There’s 365 days a year Hey there Santa, are you really really there? concludes “Santa’s Rap Party.” This is rap from 1980, so it’s disco rap. Yeah. Super Jay walks you through how to set the scene, how to respond to the music, and what to put on popcorn. Ladies, watch yo’ panties.

Christmas Countdown: 1970s

Getting spotty for the songs dedicated to honoring the particular years. Carbon Leaf’s bluegrass racer “Red Punch / Green Punch” does mention the greatness of Christmas in the ’70s and the early ’80s.

And i’ll stretch my taste berms apart to allow “12 Days of My 1970’s Christmas.” Charlie Hines gets disco steady for a cavalcade of appropriate toys: six-million-dollar man, rock ’em sock ’em robots, sizzler cars… so much plastic! (Think it only goes up to 11, though.)

Wait for the Cool

I’m susceptible to cool jazz, R+B soul–the sort of aww shucks that Black culture can inject into a silly season. As an outsider, natch, but an outside avid listener. Can you hear what i hear?

J Fresh gets the electric worm out of his synthy sexiness. “Can’t Wait Until Christmas” is a mess of R+B playfulness, but from a lounging posture.

Also synthesizing the bejeepers out of R+B, Desmond Dennis dance-conjures the scene with “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Seductive, and party friendly.

RuPaul interrupts the mellow with a gospel-soul take down of traditional values. “I Just Can’t Wait (‘Til Christmas)” is a sing-along about how Xmas makes us all one (just not the one you expected). Yowza.

Electro-pop crowds the soul of Honey Doll’s “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Hokey smoke, that’s cute. The girls’re after you, Santa. Hee hee.

Aloe Blacc’s fulla funk with his near-disco “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Furzz up those speakers! Let the beat drop! ‘Sime talkin’ ’bout.

And a Party in a Pear Tree: Santa Santa Santa

Who could throw a better party than St. Nick?!

Les Baxter’s Orchestra has the best standard here with big band beats in “Santa Claus’ Party.” Weee. (We’ve played this before.)

The Incredible Casuals admit the big guy sure knows how to party. Nawrleans down tempo jazzmunching in “Santa’s Gonna Party.

Johnny Earle resurrects Elvis for “Santa’s Party.” Blues country cool.

Nick & Simon know everybody wants to go to “Santa’s Party.” So they get awfully pop about it.

Top prize at “Santa’s Rap Party” takes home the peppermint microphone. Super Jay gossips about how that jolly old elf is sizing up the ladies at his little get-together. Disco word jazz.

It’s All Relative, non-white

White people have family problems, from dysfunctionality to red-neckery to, well, racism. People of color may have the occasional hubbub and brouhaha, but when they are family they ARE related. Share it!

Lambert Wilson captures the calypso canticle with “Family,” a raw expression of love for the folks.

A little more island music from Clifford Clarke’s “Family Christmas.” He’s got the family love, so he’s wishing it all around the world. Unity, mon.

Motown plus from James Shelton, Kuipiio Livingston, Peggy James, and Christopher L Poole flips for joy in “Family.” They build a love fest.

Karew Family rolls into some Motown rap with “Family Holiday.” Nonverbal expressions of wonderment and happiness.

Lizzy Morris ups the R+B to gospel with “Family Christmas.” She feels it, she means it. That’s love, baby.

Curtis Turrentine relies on the beat with his soul-ful “Family Christmas.” More stories. (And a ‘Family Affair’ mash up.) But they’re synced up.

Soul disco from Steven Drayton, Tony Terry, Kizzle, and The Messenger bounces and pops out “Family Christmas.” No lie. Just fun.

Bloodstone layers on the soul (and disco) to elevate “Christmas Day with My Family.” Beautiful. And they greet you at the end of the song (with family stories)! Now you belong!