And a Party in a Pear Tree: next!

Christmas party season ends at some point. Now what?

For a fun addition, Jethro Tull weaves a newage rock tale about the “Last Man at the Party.” It’s a rollickin’ frolic about the wind down after all’s done.

For my money, the best holiday song is “New Year’s Steve” from Fortress of Attitude. Yeah, it’s not Christmas. But it’s on their Christmas album, and Steve’s party is rock awesome. My hero!

And a Party in a Pear Tree: ruined

Not every Xmas fling is worthy of song. Some are best forgotten. Or listened to, then pretended to not really be a thing.

Dr. BLT (feat Roxie) complains “You Crashed My Christmas Party” with such bluesy American rock verve that the ‘bitter pill’ seems yummy from way over here.

It’s a ‘bore’ bemoans Weezer of their rock “Christmas Celebration.” Wah.

The Walkmen pooh pooh the festivities of “Christmas Party” with Rolling Stones wah wah. They can’t stand it. ‘Cuz it’s over.

The Monkees can barely survive their pop/rock “Christmas Party.” One listen to it a year is enough.

Joy Riding is all ‘partied out’ in their “Christmas Hair.” Alt-pop that claims no more drinking, just wanna see your hair.

Unable to remember the party at all, Hunky Graham posts his amateur fun uke rocker “The Christmas Party Song.” No regrets, until he recalls it.

Holiday Party (Cocaine Tonight)” from “Co-Op: Original Cast Recording,” peformed by Renée Elise Goldsberry and Alex Brightman is that drug trip nightmare in the middle of a party that… i think you now what i’m talking about. Whew.

La Pistolas get silly retro rock for a Monster Mash inspired “Creepy Christmas Party.” Eek, your secret Santa got you a coffin!

And a Party in a Pear Tree: staff affection BLUE ALERT

One of the consequences of office Christmas party ribaldry is the casual hookup and subsequent shame spiral that can cripple a corporation. It’s the reason for the season, or at least a good way to win money betting on the office Xmas scorecard. (Gillian undressed in the copy room before 5 PM! 50$ for me!)

Johnny Fritz ushers in the ‘what-the-heck’ with “The Office Christmas Party.” Easy listening light rock just shows to go how naive is this guy. Romance isn’t that easy, bra.

Mickey John bull has a sing along darkly pop number in “The Office Christmas Party.” Get HR on the horn, pronto. We need more sensitivity training.

The predatory approach from Samantha Fields makes the easy listening pop of “The Office Christmas Party” sinister, like a 1930s man-hungry cartoon character.

Nastiness without the obscenity, “X-Rated Christmas Office Party” from Lil Poverty Angels is electronica rap that reads as more wish list than rap sheet.

The aftermath of messed up assignations may result in “Office Party Blues” an electric piano rocker of petty proportions from the Jacobsen Brothers.

A broken heart mars We Grow Up’s “Office Christmas Party,” in which alt crash-and-burn begins at the company revels. How ironic.

Now that we’re depressed, let’s dive into the dumps with the scratchy folk of Fugitives and “Christmas at the Office Party.” Ah, nihilism for Christmas. BLUE ALERT

Rudy Casoni brings the Sinatra-style mash with the progressively crazier “Office Christmas Party.” Yikes. Lounge BLUE ALERT

And a Party in a Pear Tree: drunk as an underling

The call to arms at the office Christmas party is alcohol. Get as sozzled as possible so you can get all resentments off your chest and no harm done. Right?

PSA from Shawn Hollenbach: “Don’t Get Wasted at the Holiday Party” preaches a pop/rap dance beat to consider.

Brent Burns slurs through his confessional “I Got Drunk at the Office Christmas Party,” a hoedown of oompah hilarity that offers no moral lesson at all. You’re welcome.

Christmas Party Song” from Bob Rivers is the office party drunk that went all sorts of the wrong way. But the ornate orchestration and strong vocals (Karen Carpenter tribute?) make it fly.

Beatnik Turtle’s Song of the Day offers “Company Christmas Party,” a rock pop-up (with bongos!) which merely suggests drinking as the reason for all the celebratorily outrageous behavior. It’s all in order. Count it off.

John Vosel & the Party Crashers let you know the hangover dangers before they begin their electronic blues wiler “Office Party.” Wild.

Roberto Cassani rolls his Rs for an Irish sendoff “At the Office Christmas Party.” It’s syncopated folk (isn’t that rap?) about alcohol-fueled shenanigans.

Bluegrassy ragtimey warbling really sells the “Office Party” drunkenness. Shorty Garrett sends you home with a cautionary tale. (About how you can win the girl with an extra cup of wine.)

And a Party in a Pear Tree: coworker convivialty

Ahh, the office Christmas party… a fine tradition since –1945?? Certainly offices have been our lot since before Scrooge and Cratchit. And parties are a staple of the Roaring ’20s. But the idea of stiff, formal relationships unbuttoned for an evening revealing the inner reveler–that comes down hard for the returning WWII vets, the sudden money Mad Men.

What do we have to look forward to at such a spree?

Some songs carefully document the beginning, middle, and urrgh! Like Ray Stevens’s “Annual Office Christmas Party.” Our humorist counts out the hours: from hopeful (easy listening) to crazy (jazzy conga). Kick line!

Canned Hamm & Friends (Neil Hamburger) introduces the usual suspects at a carnival rouser, “Office Christmas Party.” It’s a comedy song and wants you to know it.

Lauren Robb’s “Office Christmas Party Song” partakes of parody (‘Santa Baby’) detailing the horrifying hookups, inappropriate jokes, overdrinking, and exhibitionism. Cutesy.

More upbeat parody from Goddammit Jeremiah wherein the “Office Christmas Party” sounds lovely, just lovely. Pop con gusto.

The complaint of the salary man finds salve “At the Office Christmas Party” by Supposably. Kicking alt rock swing and sway. He got it out of his system ’til next year.

After an impressive bass intro, Roseate makes social commentary about her “Office Christmas Party.” But it seems to be with love. Or it’s the alt-jazz bounciness that defuses. I’d go.

Let’s go back to 1949 with Yogi Yorgesson’s “Christmas Party.” This Swedish big band burner is sexist and dismissive of overdrinking, but that’s the fun of comedy!

And a Party in a Pear Tree: the Guest of Honor is Santa

Santa giving a party is one thing. What about that party for Mr. Claus?

Keith Whittal gets bucking country for “Santa’s Christmas Party,” all the while seeming slightly racist and fun.

The ACOUSTIX get even more country mean with “Santa’s Christmas Party.” Explicit reindeer games involve Grandma, but in a way that’s worse than death.

Lord Nelson add Caribbean big band to “A Party for Santa Claus.” Dance, everybody!

The kids may be best equipped for throwing the shindig. “Christmas Party Time” is a kids country rocker with all the fun that would entice and invite Santa. Roy Fulton knows.

Waiting for Santa is almost like a party. Robby Grant has a light garage swinger in “North Pole Christmas Party Band.” Puts me in a mood.

And a Party in a Pear Tree: Santa Santa Santa

Who could throw a better party than St. Nick?!

Les Baxter’s Orchestra has the best standard here with big band beats in “Santa Claus’ Party.” Weee. (We’ve played this before.)

The Incredible Casuals admit the big guy sure knows how to party. Nawrleans down tempo jazzmunching in “Santa’s Gonna Party.

Johnny Earle resurrects Elvis for “Santa’s Party.” Blues country cool.

Nick & Simon know everybody wants to go to “Santa’s Party.” So they get awfully pop about it.

Top prize at “Santa’s Rap Party” takes home the peppermint microphone. Super Jay gossips about how that jolly old elf is sizing up the ladies at his little get-together. Disco word jazz.

And a Party in a Pear Tree: Filipino, policemen, pirates, Ohio City

What kind of Christmas party is this?!

Melanie Anne Pademal may be a bit judgey when she pop raps “Filipino Christmas Party.” There’s required drinking, i think. Still, i had fun.

Five for Fighting bar scratch a fun-filled “Policemen’s Xmas Party” song which turns out is more showtune party rock than social criticism. Thanks!

The Wiggles play like ADHD children for “It’s a Christmas Party on the Goodship Feathersword.” Ghastly kidsong.

“The Ohio City Singers Christmas Bash” is a Stones-inspired soul rock sung by The Ohio City Singers. Daresay they know what they’re talking about.

And a Party in a Pear Tree: Grandma, Nick Kwas, Mrs. Miller

It’s not just any Christmas Party.

Professor Steve cracks corn with ‘grass folk at “Grandma’s Christmas Party.” The (sartorial) journey is the party.

For Mel Waiters “Xmas Party at Grandma’s House” is an important element in family strength. R+B shivering with the gospel power.

Nick Kwas Christmas Party” is an introspective depressive fever dream that really has no party parts whatsoever. But the alt-rock soldiers on. Try on your gift from Sorority Noise, but keep the receipt.

“Mrs. Miller’s Christmas Party” from Quarrel starts out slow. The polka punk rock, however, increases in tempo and aggro until we know ‘it’s the best party in the land.’ Glad i was there.

And a Party in a Pear Tree: Kosher time

You can have a Hanukkah party, right? They don’t just sit shiva, they get out the candles and get lit, amiright?

First off, let’s allow for a non-offensive/generic “Holiday Party Song.” Eugenegenay gets abstruse with steel drum soul. And God gets a shout out, but which one?

Earle Monroe gets instructive with cooking rock in “Ultimate Holiday Party Song.” His inclusivity gets a little pointed, but it’s all in good שַׁעֲשׁוּעַ.