Rapping breakups Scotty Sire (feat. Heath Hussar) celebrate their “Lonely Chrsitmas“. Calling it quits never rocked so good, bitch.
Merle Haggard doesn’t have you for Christmas. So this silent night has become a crooning country “Lonely Night“. He’s counting the months until he’s lonely again next year.
Otis Gibbs has a hard country “Lonely Mistletoe Night“, ‘cuz Mom’s out working extra jobs and the house, well, it’s so empty.
Sofia Talvik’s tribute “A Carol for the Lonely” gasps and wanders like a lost soul. The cello gravitas deepens this folk country into a whole ‘other genre.
Aryah wails echoic gospel to the rafters in “Lonely on Christmas“. It’s not a spiritual crisis, as much as it is being on a break.
The Knights symphonize Prince’s “Another Lonely Christmas“, draining the funk and instilling the grandeur. An oddity to be sure.
Milan Tausch murmurs his “Lonely Christmas” about the Pandemic of 2020. Struggling symphonic.
Ernest Tubb & His Texas Troubadors brings twang to the party with his “Lonely Christmas Eve“. This is the ’60s, boys’n’girls. Jukebox country.
“Tinsel Town” by SHeDAISY is more straightforward irony smushing Hollywood’s values with Christmas’s morals. Sprightly country pop.
“Karaoke In a Bar” seems to be the antidote for those Christmas movies playing over the taps. Tara Thompson girlies her way through this depressed country bummer. Anti-Christmas?
Juke joints were centers of trouble, thus the coin operated music machine therein was the eye of the strumming. It’s okay to associate them with rednecks. And sad, lonely souls.
‘Pretty Paper’ is playing on the jukebox, for Alan Jackson’s broke-hearted “Honky Tonk Christmas.” This country western may not wax poetic, but it saxes up the joint.
Also moon-eyed, Scout Speer honkies the tonk for “Coming Over For Christmas.” She’s got a plan of action, not the expected from barflies hearkening to the jukebox.
Broken almost beyond belief, The Fades sound off their indie about your cruelty “Last Christmas (On the Beach).” Their only solace was a jukebox in a bar full of racist homophobes. Yowza.
Put a coin in the jukebox won’t you dear? drawls John Pedigo’s Magic Pilsner for the slow dancing “Counting Back Down (To Next Christmas Time).” More despair that the next quarter mayn’t cure.
Calmer, Bronwen’s “Christmas After All” sets The jukeboxplays,/We’ll sing til morn, but in a civilized Celtic way.
Sometimes the jukebox is unavoidable. “Already Home” is the ironic CW indie from Destin, where she tells of the long drive after the missed flight, and the dive they hit for coffee. They’re together, if not home, so… home. Pretty.
It’s Nat King Cole on the jukebox when “Mrs. Christmas” and Charge the Atlantic are the only ones bobbing over beers. Oddly pop indie.
It’s ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ on the jukebox when Adam Tomcat hits “Christmas in the Country.” Smooth, if not charismatic for country music.
Same tune on the box for “Neon Christmas” wherein Mitchell Tenpenny brings the twang. Pop country can work as music, dammit.
Now it’s ‘Islands in the Stream’ (??) on the jukebox for “State with Bear on Flag” with James Mean strumming for all he’s worth on this folk rock indie. More sorrow drowning.
And so it’s now ‘Blue Eyes Cryin’ in the Rain’ on the jukebox for the truly novel “Chinese Cowboy Hat.” KC Glynn features a trucker with an existential crisis to a metronomic country beat.
Status Quo wants you to wake up wake up because “It’s Christmas Time.” Old timey rock of the pop persuasion.
Train wants you to wake up, since that rhymes with “Shake Up Christmas.” Rage pop.
Tasha Layton gets big band diva with “Wake Up It’s Christmas.” It’s big, it’s loud, it’s sexy–but when she’s right, she’s right. Wait, 3 A.M.?!
Somebody “Wake Me Up On Christmas Day” folks Andrew Clark (w/J.P. Cormier). This is a cry for help. He’s not just lonely, he’s grieving. Hello?
Hard country from Matt Woods calls on you to “Wake Me on Christmas.” It’s not a booty call if you do it. He(and the whiskey)’s standing by… (or lying down).
“Daddy, Is Santa Really Six Foot Four?” Kay Brown wants to know, when reporting the scene she dug the night before. There may have been Mommy-kissing and Daddy-threatening, so i dunno what’s going on in this household, but that ain’t him, babe. American Song-Poem R+B.
Funkdoobiest raps some BLUE ALERT name dropping in “Superheroes.” Did I see Santa? No, it’s the Green Lantern. Understandable.
Royce D. Sean takes a country minute to point out “That wasn’t Santa Claus” in the manger. You’re seeing someone else. White beard, judging good/bad, giving… mistaken identity.
Cary Grant’s “Christmas Lullaby” (1967) begins as a spoken confession to the sleeping child about hopes and dreams (and Jesus, too!). Then he–sorta–sings!
Barbra Streisand presides over the ethereal “Christmas Lullaby” with stately grace. She da Queen.
Joliet4 shovels on the suffering and bleeding for her string-heavyily orchestrated “The Christmas Lullaby.” Yet, this is indie, so depressing? Or just accurate??
Balsam Range hits the bluegrass monotone nicely with their “Christmas Hymn.” (Which i have other versions of as “Cradle Hymn” here sweetly harmonized by Elizabeth Mitchell for your taste test comparisons.)
It’s time to inject some romance into the snark. Let’s ship Santa and, well… you! Or me. Or someone else.
Perhaps most notoriously, Eartha Kitt owned “Santa Baby” as a (quid pro quo?) love song to Mr. Spendy. She even followed it up with a sequel the next year: “This Year’s Santa Baby” updating the gold-digging. For novelty purposes, i approve of the punk update by The Dirty Panties. But let’s close this squirmy throwback with a modernist view from Miley Cyrus on The Jimmy Kimmel Show. Me too, Santa!
Kylie Minogue stirs pop into the jazz with her extensive list of wants, but “Oh Santa” she really wants a kiss from inside that big beard.
While we’re country, y’all, Angela Watson belts out the family friendly “We Love Santa Claus.” Love CAN be bought!
