Category: jazz

“Stuff Stockings” by The Moby Dicks brings hard garage to bear upon the act of intimacy. Ouch.

“Red’s Xmas Socking Filler” has a very je nail BLUE ALERT charm without much stocking. Rocking, however, yes.

Not sure you got that? Try The Eggnog Crew’s “Stocking Stuffer” on for size. By song’s end you’ll know what he wants for Xmas.

“Stocking Stuffer” is Ocean is Theory’s sexy, bluesy take on making it through the dark holidays.

Stockings aren’t just for sliding across the floor to Bob Seger. Ladies wear them up to and beyond the bottom.

Patrick Donahue can’t wait to see his baby in her “Christmas Stockings.” A little rockabilly, but mostly country swing keeps this dude dressing her up with his eyes.

Crossdressing can be fun! slyly confides Lachlan MacLeod with funky rap in “Stockings.” Panties party, boys!

Wes Sperry wants what’s in her “Stockings for Christmas.” Jazz pop creepin’!

FAQs about Xmas stockings:

“Where Does Father Christmas Hang His Stocking?” Graham Mutton wants to know. Old style Music Hall from the UK poses more than one quandary.

Is it true what they say? demands D. D. Lake in the rocking anthem “Funky Christmas Stocking.” How did love become the subject matter here?

“What’s in Your Stocking?” seems an innocent enough inquiry. But Shy Nature’s alt rock moderne moaning implies so much more. Weirding me out….

Hoping for love, but getting less, John Jay Martyn asks “What ‘Cha Puttin’ in My Stocking?” Smooth lounge jazz that promises to be better next year.

So, what’d ya get?

Fretting over shopping, Evan Church indies up a heap o’ hope for the “Christmas Stockings.” Woo-hoo.

“Geek Girl’s Stocking” is some in-joking from Rhiannon’s Lark. DIY filking actually works well here.

Matthew Bright is almost inarticulate in his anticipation. “Stocking’s Hung” combines scat, jazz, and panic to create a relatable Xmas joy.

Encore the euphemisms! Currently Disconnected threaten us with what is “Coming Down Your Chimney.” He’s gonna do stuff to your cookies!

Cory Goodrich divas the jazz suggestion “Santa, Come Down My Chimney” with gusto. I’m blushing.

Ryan Lindsey (with help) croons the jazzy “I’ll Come Down Your Chimney” with a cocked eyebrow. Slow in pacing but not to be denied.

“Down the Chimney” from FSO (featuring Miss Amy) raps the merry Christmas with a little extra.

Susan Madson adds extra torch for “Santa Your Comin Down My Chimney Ain’t Ya.” Lounge jazz that may leave you a bit sweaty.

Worst case scenario–Santa’s never going to age stuck forever in the chimney!

Encore! Gatorhogs don’t know what happened (was the roof too icy?) but they face the “Empty Chimney” with pop grace. And, well, waiting… there’s no corpse anywhere.

Now setting Santa on fire might be different than killing him in the chimney, but The Glenn Crytzer Orchestra is so swing band cool it have to include “I’m Sorry Santa Claus.” Drop and roll!

“Chimney Skeleton” tells you all you need to know. But if you want the full minute story that makes children cry ask The Murrays and they’ll spill to pop.

dummytri is pretty sure “Santa Died In My Chimney“–who else could that dead body belong to? Wacky basement amterur pop.

“There’s No Santa Claus” is the horrible lesson from Colburn Sound Express. It begins with Dad being late home from work Xmas Eve… OMG–Hand clapping pop. (It’s the story from a movie–can you guess which one?)

Hot Buttered Elves have some Weekend at Bernies business after they find the overlong stuck Santa. “Christmas on Ice” is bossa nova fun–at first.

Santa Claus? Chimneys? What could go wrong?

Encore! Make Like Monkeys decide with odd Addams Family pop that the chimney might be a murderous ambush in their fine “Mine!!! Rub Out Santa.”

Bob Rivers enlists a cutie pie little girl to sing “A Chimney Song,” a horrifying time lapse about outwaiting the chimney blockage that’s starting to smell.

Kyle Dunnigan adds some BLUE ALERT to “Santa’s Stuck up in Our Chimney.” ‘Daddy’ starts crying, but the redneck daughters country carol their misunderstanding into some kind of grisly standoff. Then start on the fingers….

“There’s a Dead Man in the Chimney” is Podge ‘n Rodge’s confession to gunplay on the red-suited intruder. But this is not Chicago vigilanteism, it’s Irish justice.

Aliens Pat says it all (in 10 seconds) with the ragtime “Santa Fell Down the Chimney.” Got it?

Why a fire duct? Well, Clement Clarke Moore’s famous 1822 poem ‘An Account of a Visit from Saint Nicholas’ goes into some detail about Santa’s chimney travel and sooty clothes and this has informed our lore for almost 200 Xmases. That first Saint Nicholas from Turkey probably dropped coins down the flue back in the 300s as acts of Xian charity. The Christmas witch from Italy certainly did some smokehole commuting; in fact medieval, mischief-making myth-types came and went that way for some centuries–for good and for ill. All of which inspired Washington Irving, in his A History of New York from the Beginning of the World to the End of the Dutch Dynasty by Diedrich Knickerbocker, to describe Santa dropping goodies down the fireplace chute (but making his way through there personally for the particularly good boys’n’girls) a decade or two BEFORE ‘Twas the Night Before.

Anyways–

Encore time! Joel Kopischke’s been gone too long from here so lets him back his his titular entry from his second great Xmas parody album “Ground Control to Santa Claus.” The spooky ending is the chimney part.

Let’s try something new. Nicholas Markos folk rocks “Chimney Sneak” to the tune of outing that jack-in-the-box joker. Catchy stuff.

Matt Farley is most welcome back to the blog as The Very Nice Interesting Singer Man with “The Chimney Song.” He’ll explain what chimneys are for if you’re still not sure. Jazzy with scat.

Waiting for Santa takes on a different light depending on what you’re wearing. Or NOT wearing….

Again? Kat Perkins is gonna be “Up All Night” for you-now-who. He makes her sleigh bells jingle! Syncopated jazzy pop.

“I Know What’s Santa’s Getting for Christmas” is bluegrass country that implies more than it sins. But i’m reading between the mistletoes. Joey + Rory must have an open relationship

Just as eager, but not so overtly so, Cocktail Slippers look forward to when “Santa’s Comin’ Home.” Retro girl rock that brings it home. (Warning: may incur stalking.)

The cast of ‘Naughty… But Nice’ take a moment to anticipate the annual visit of–apparently–a master class is naughty. “Waiting Up for Santa” is full of lounge jazz innuendo. I’m all sweaty now.

Again?! Steel Panther set the amps to MOIST with a hair metal tribute “Sexy Santa.” Yikes!

Jody Quine bebops some R+B lounge torch singing with “Got My Eye on You, Santa.” Despite Big Mr. C’s reciprocation for a mo’, feels creepy.

After hours lounge tinkling helps Emma Wallace quiet the siren in “Santa, Take the Night Off.”