Breaking the Ice.31 – BLUE ALERT

Joyce Manor can’t go wrong on “These Kind of Ice Skates.” Or can they? Hard garage. So just quit.

New Lenox is ready to quit as well. It’s that last moment with here, on the frozen lake, with the parents’ borrowed “Ice Skates.” Then we hear cracking. Powerful alt.

Angry and BLUE ALERT OK Cool doesn’t want any part of this exercise, bc “I Can’t Stand in Ice Skates.” Bitching alt to bring us to a close.

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.Icky got a boothang who loves my music and figure skates to me rappin’. That’s “Winter Love” y’all. I mean he’s enunciating and like that.

Ice Skates or…” is a thought game about breaking with the world. Skating will lead you away i guess. Sorry Snowman gets all indie and alt about it. Stay away.

Jazzy Ash envisions a lazy day on her “Ice Skates.” How lazy? Saxophone lazy! Alt fun. (& scat!)

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Tanya Rivera doesn’t want you to break her “Candy Cane Heart.” So, her pop music instructions include drinking, skating, and dating. Then, love. By the book.

The New Ice Skates” carry her away. He knows she’s leaving so, at least in the Faint Lights alt folk song, buys her a mode of transpo. For when it’s cold enough.

Joni Mitchell’s second most covered song is the anti-Christmas folk mopery “River.” She wishes she had a river she could skate away on… See ya! (Okay, beautiful song, beautifully sung–but, wotta bummer.)

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Henny Queenz gets a second chance with her rapped “Christmas Season.” I mean she suggests read a book. Is that a new theme for me to build a month of Xmas songs around, or what?!

Worn Out Skates” may not feature any skating, but lots of heartbreak. Heavy strings in alt pop makes Happy Heartbreak all that and a bag of tissues.

Jada is so in love she’s skating on a cloud. Her “Christmas Love” is checking, decorating, and making snow angels in the driveway. Really loud soul.

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Trying to make it through this snowy “Time of Year” Gabriel Gassi raps and R+Bs about skating on thin ice with you. Listen, gurl, you’ve got ’til the end of the song to change your mind.

Guess it’s more like a dirge than a carol, concludes Brittany Ann Tranbaugh in sassy country pop that deals with a breakup. There’ll be no skating, now. And “The Christmas Flannel” shirt she got YOU–she’s keeping that. Nice coping mechanism! Great tune.

Francis Blume half yodels, half warbles through the old timey country trembler “For the Holidays.” He wants to kiss you! He likes spending time with you: Like the time that we went ice skating drunk and you slipped and nearly broke your Ask me what I’m doing for the Holidays. Ask him!

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Jenny Alien slips in some BLUE ALERT with her clubby EDM “Skating Rink.” She’s failing at clubbing, but lives next to that icy palace. Something’s not working. Except the hot mess of a song, that slaps.

Sport Game gets more gnarly garage with “Figure Skating.” Seems reflective. Can’t really tell.

Wovoka Jr. tries some “Star Skating” but loses me somewhere around Saturn. New age-y alt explorations of hypnotic strength.

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Blippi presents the tutorial “Let’s Go Ice Skating.” Slick pop kidsong which insists falling is okay. Zamboni solo!

Rachel Rambach (Listen & Learn Music) endeavors to entertain the wee ones with “Skating ‘Round the Rink,” more kidsong but without lessons. Just doing it.

Kahika is just “Skating Through,” or getting by, draping along, or muddling through… you know, managing somehow. Almost reggae inspired jazzy slow pop.

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Marcus Buddy Vincét recommends “Ice Skating” as a palliative for grief in this experimental jazzercise. Eerie.

Håkon Lervåg uses “Ice Skating” as a crowbar to demolish his relationship in this quiet folk cry for help.

Tod Got Overexcited! comes to the rescue with “Ice Skaters Lovers Time,” a song about Christmas and Santa and voyeurism and awkward moves (and vocals). Bebopping pop. Just what i needed.

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Little Baby Bum and Friends narrates how “Ice Skating” is such good fun. Kidsong pontification.

Muddying the waters, Eric Evans raps out the problems he’s got with you “Ice Skating.” Get it off the rink, son.

Sherwin Sleeves and Roy Harter grate out the horror, the horror of skating down the stream in the genre-smashing “The Christmas Skater.” Is it a train? A bad breakup? The encroaching darkness that will swallow us all?

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Romance and skating on ice are nearly one and the same in the R+B (hoo, hoo hoo hoo, hoo) singalong “Christmas Wishin’” from David Davis. Holla.

Different Boats is in the friend zone, however, after mixed signals from skating. “Season of Sadness” is a maudlin rap without lashing out in anger. Sorry for your heart. (Crash cart! Stat!)

Connie Landers dredges up the ol’ ’60s rock’n’roll with “I’m Gonna be Warm This Winter.” That sleigh ride helped, but the ice skating cinched it.