Category: rap

And Now… Here’s Santa!

Blue Powerade Boys sardonically have a bone to pick with all the crap going on. “I am Samta” seems like the reasonable epicenter of blame. Plucky clucky indie.

Also sus as Big Red is AronChupa & Little Sis Nora’s BLUE ALERT character “I’m the Santa Claoz.” Some fun EDM Euro-pop.

Santa Churn is rapped about in “Winter Wonderland” by Homie Churn (feat. Henry The Barbarian). Some dis and BLUE ALERT bleeping.

Jackie B is the strip club owner in ‘The Great American Trailer Park Christmas Musical.’ When he lounge lizards the bluesy “Baby, I’ll be Your Santa Claus” you might want to reconsider your life choices.

“Santa Bibby” is also rapped about this time by K Bibbles. He seems nicer.

Hippie Freak

Foster Gray & The JJs insists “Santa is an Arsonist.” Evidence? He brings coal! Unplugged garage fooling around.

Arne Åsmund uses cowboy pop to prove in “X to the Masses” that Santa rose in the criminal ranks from lowly drug runner to strung out street person.

“Santa’s Got the Munchies” folk pops Jet Baker, implying some irresponsibility on the part of that important delivery system. Better get more cookies!

Protesting too much Charlie Stewart electro-countries “Santa Claus Ain’t a Hippie.” Hey, isn’t protesting what hippies do?

Neil Halstead covers Fountains of Wayne’s “The Man in the Santa Suit” with pathos the original didn’t have. Ah, the futility of Santa in a modern age!

Fruitcakes (give it a moment to start…) parodies “Santa Claus is Coming” with a trip to ‘The Price is Right’ to win a new sleigh. Makes him look like a dummkopf.

Nor does Dianna Corcoran take the “Funny Little Fat Guy” in a red suit seriously. Serious country rock, though. Stalking much?

D’modes undermines the whole thing in “The Silly Season.” Swinging pop criticism that STARTS with Santa. Rated M.

Benny Grunch & The Bunch point around the back of the neighborhood ’cause “Santa and His Reindeer Used to Live Rite Here.” Cajun rap. This is good stuff.

Leading Cola Salesman

Worth repeating: BLUE ALERT “Santa Don’t Bring Gifts To Assholes” is the pop proclamation from Paul Mauled and the Furious Elves. You should probably heed this dictum.

Vera Lyn takes us back to the 1930s when swearing wasn’t as much a lyrical go-to. “The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot” is a big band ode to poor kids. Sad stuff. She originated this number, but Nat King Cole is no slouch at underplaying the bathos and making a real story out of it.

The world premiere cast of Nuncrackers–The Nunsense Christmas Musical gets down home with “Santa Ain’t Comin’ to Our House.” It’s a knee-slappin’ hoe-downin’ uplift to children’s tragedy.

Hard rock from The Swingin’ Neckbreakers declares “Santa Claus ain’t Comin’ This Year.” Sound like someone’s on the disability.

The Eraserheads alt rock that “Santa Ain’t Comin’ No Mo” because he’s sick. Throw your stocking out the window!

717Erb raps casually how “Santa Ain’t Coming.” That’s it. No show.

When my baby can’t be with me then, well, “Santa Can’t.” Big band evolves into rap then just mashes up. Brought to you by 0July Moon (feat. Kristen & Ryanne).

Shaven in a Manger

Mimi Teddy synths the voice to become kidsong, but it’s so scary. “Merry Christmas to You” recounts block chain problems, reindeer retardation, and how Santa Claus is waiting for his beard to regrow; His barber shaved it off by mistake a month ago. Nightmare!

Previously, it was an honor to share Joel Samberg’s “Holiday Shaving Cream,” a holidaytion of the old Benny Bell classic (as heard on the Dr. Demento Show throughout the ’70s).

Da ADR Crew update that with the rapping “Santa’s Shaving Cream.” Short and… shaving cream.

Gunna Celebrate.277 FURY BLUE ALERT

Just enough time for some last bits.

Turns out when we Mommy kissing Santa Claus, Daddy found out and got his gun. “Santa, Run!” is the rocking hijinks that ensue from Reckless Renegade.

On the BLUE ALERT side Javeth [ft. Nova Omari] decide to “Kill Santa” with a Nerf gun. Angry yet silly rap.

Standing ready Svvamp VVillies amateur pops “Santa Glock.” Stocking-ed and loaded.

It’s a bad scene when “Santa’s Got A Gun,” the suspenseful pop number by Roger Oddcock. Take cover.

Pretty retro pop from The JAC about the boy who said “I Saw Santa with a Gun.” Trauma is the gift that keeps on giving.

Harm’s Way metal raps “Santa’s Been Drinkin and He’s Got a Gun!” Seems to celebrate more than warn, but ’tis the season.

Buy more guns, that’s my New Years resolution, raps Onyx (feat. Mad Lion) in the BLUE ALERT “Ahhh Year.” Looking forward, with a laser site.

Gunna Celebrate.276 Enfield

When is gunplay not gunplay? Metaphor time!

“The Shoot​-​out at the Shawclough Coral” is western frivolity by Matt Crossman. It has to do with who gets what at the family holiday table.

Had quite a few “Shoot Your Eye Out This Christmas” kind of songs. Now, the message is nose-off-to-spite-your-face; hate you and your gifts and the whole season. And saying so (and burning everything?) hurts me, too, i guess. Ask Sam Pearson and his indie guitar to find out.

Nevermind, time for more bloodbath–this time with premeditation! “Evil Christmas” from Big Chino is family rap about lying in armed wait Xmas Eve. Suddenly, Santa’s NOT dead and HE’s got a gun, too–!

Gunna Celebrate.275 H&H Magnum BLUE ALERT

Electric Bill and the Utilities indie punk how they want “A Gun For Christmas.” What they’ll do with it is a BLUE ALERT carnival ride. Weee-uh oh.

And all I wanted for Christmas was a gun is the encore sentiment from Super Chron Flight Bros (feat. Zesto) in “B More.” Real. With ‘Boyz’ samples.

Lil Seradino actually wants an xBox for Christmas, but if that fails… gotta get an AR-15. “Have a Merry M6” is unfortunate rap, but it’s a product of its social economic system. BLUE ALERT

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Ghetto, ghetto, gone… or would if they could.

After seeing “Black Santa” TDK wants to be gone. Especially because of the drugs and violence: If you point that gun Make it click, he raps.

Northside, strangely, identifies with “Batman” for Christmas: Have you ever seen a gun When it points at you; I don’t know the feeling, But that’s what my father went through. So, not completely the same.

LRN Nola is so mad at some lady who’s writing to Santa, he starts listing the weaponry at his fingertips in “I Hate Santa.” BLUE ALERT rap.

Vilardz is not quite BLUE with his rap “Christmas Hype.” He throws shade on YOU but insists he’s holding his steady gun (probably means good, huh?).

Gunna Celebrate.244 Remington

Santa and guns?? Who’s getting shot?

Somebody named Grandmaster was waiting with the rooftops in his sites for when “Santa’s Here Again.” Dread metal from Infinity Greenhouse.

“Shot Santa in the Back” is amateur pop from Wheelchair Full of Old Men. It’s not safe for working sanity.

Viva Joaquin cleans up the professionalism with banjo and blame in “Someone Shot Santa Claus.” It was Old Kringle’s fault, the perv.

Weege & The Wondertwins roll out the ragtime for “Daddy Don’t Shoot Santa Claus.” It really begs with soul.

Andrea True Revival (feat. latenightbagel) try some electronic rap (sound like spoken lyrics in the sociopathic “Santa Died In A Shootout.” Tough stuff.

“Santa Claus Just Got Shot” is the repetitive rap from Shaq Queso (feat. Donnie Preoccupied). It’s rough Northside.

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Time for some urban retribution. King Aiden raps Ak47 what I want on my wish list I need guns for protection hold up load up that little clip in the tinkly, almost jovial “Hood Christmas.” Better safe than surrounded by alive people.

“Sleigh Ride Drive By” from Coolio and Meredith Brooks is just a ‘Sleigh Ride’ cover with some commentary. Intent is there. I guess. And a laugh track.

Boosie Badass (feat. YFN Lucci & Rich Homie Quan) promises–through rap– I’m gon’ get some more guns in their “Christmas List.” More suffering , more rapping.

RHL_KT sounds more melodic and low key, but with a ‘mag’ he intends to ‘light ’em up,’ by which i think he’s going to shoot down your decorations. Plenty of other code indicates you may not survive his need for weed in “Hood Santa.”

IT’s all downhill in the concrete jungle. “Dark X-mas” from Mikael Englund is R+B rap with some pretty melody, but some monstrous fate for the Fat Man and the kids for that matter.

Rucka Rucka Ali adds Tchaikovsky for a lighter element in “Twas the Night Before Kwanzaa.” Santa confronts two homies with a knife and a gun… until Suzi shows up with an uzi. Ultimately no man left that night, without a cap in his ass! So, like presents–?