Year-round Yuletide oddities
Celtic for little doggy, COLIN can also be short for Nicholas (which is Gaelic). That latter name is gonna be trouble. Saving it for later.
“A F**k Colin Christmas” by Young Bruh stops slightly after it’s begun. But should’ve stopped sooner. Nonsense rap.
A Scottish family name, BRODY came from words meaning muddy ditch. Silly Scots.
Duller Colours raps “Runnin’” about failed family dynamics, but at least Brody made it home for Christmas. R+B bent.
In “WRAPPED UP” Yung Tax Collector (feat. noah!) worry about Jesus and decorating gifts. But Phil and Brody get shoutouts in this troubled rap. Then again Brodie means brother to those in hip hop.
Brody Stevens talks about himself (and Christmas) with “Brody’s Bio“. I realize this is not a generic Brody, but i imagine all Brodys aspire to this life plan. Screechy pop/rap.
BRIAN likely comes from high ground, so aristo in a way. Also came from maggot, as a nickname. That’s sooo Brian.
In “HOLIDAZE” The Deadd complain relentlessly about all things Christmas, including Brian’s stinky socks. Punk with improv and too much bass.
Flipping the gender, “Merry Christmas Breanna Rayne” is hard core garage from A Spelling E. Not much more than a toast, really.
Mrs. Claus has a standing appointment with Brian from the oil company. “Same Time Next Year” is her naughty rendezvous as told by Bah & The Humbugs. Show tune symphonic.
Unable to keep the familial peace on “The Day After Christmas” Some Good Evil has Brian tell Chris all about the cruelties endured. Garage pop about rotten turkey.
Playing with obscene rhymes Claire Margaret Corlett funny raps “What Christmas Is About?” though she concludes it’s about the gimme. And she calls out Brian for questioning her choices.
OF for elf ruler, AUBREY is predominantly for girls. Who can tell with elves?
Naughty “Ali and Aubrey” only got coal for Xmas according to the caterwauling of JR Brumley. It might be pop music, mostly noise.
BLUE ALERT! TAAYLEE G gets especially sexualized for her “Christmas List“. And if she doesn’t get it from you (quick) she might ask Aubrey (Drake). Horny rap.
Chely Wright stands forthright with the gentle pop anthem “Santa will Find You“. All she wants for Christmas is you to get presents.
‘Fooling around the washboards, The Christmas Jug Band rattle off the bad gifts until stating “What I Really Want for Christmas is You“. A military march of a blues waltz.
Rhyan Besco avoids Xmas chatter with the upbeat rap “What’s Special about Today…Is You“. But it’s a special day that he notices you., so it’s somebody’s birthday.
Chad Serhal prattles “When the First Snow Comes” over and over. But it’s about being with you and that’s love, isn’t it? Almost hymnal pop.
Kidsong harmonies harm Stan Davis & Friends’ “Will You be Under My Tree“, But that’s because i thought it was an adult love song. It’s just silliness.
All CJ Soul (feat. B Baby) wants is you. And other stuff. It’s all rapped out in their “Wish List“. Feelings are complicated.
I Don’t Know Margo just wants to “Let You Know It’s Christmas“. It’s like a gift, with succinct pop rock.
Would you please come, only for tonight? blasts Mirror Eyes in “Out of All the Charlie Browns in the World, I’m the Charlie Browniest“. The title may have something to do with how sad the singer is (without you), but the music is rowdy ‘eighties pop.
Even Mattel’s Barbie knows that “A Perfect Christmas” is the one with you in it. Cheesey pop rock, y’all, from animated special i can’t be bothered to research.
The Vargo Family, well Paisley sings “Perfect Snowflake” as a school assignment, just trying to get to the end of this slow pop and get on with other stuff. All she wants is you ah-ho, ho hoo. [Her version is slightly less creepy than Brett‘s, from the same family.]
New wave rockabilly from The Barn Stormers alerts us to their loving intentions. He’s gotta get to you and Rudolph might need to help. No escape from being their “Presents.” Uh oh.
From one of KROQ’s Kevin and Bean holiday compilations Jurassic 5 raps carefully “Rockin’ for You”. It’s essentially a commercial, but it’s for you.
What of those who prefer you far away from them?
SKATERS and Friends punk up “On Christmas Day (why won’t they leave me alone?)“, but not in a rude way.
Felicity Lyons recoils against the Pandemic in “We Wish You a Socially Distanced Christmas“–like that was a possible thing. Amateur pop.
“Leave Me Alone for Christmas” is country wistfulness from Backslash N. It’s not anti-people, it’s prochoice.
Mike Weatherford quietly folk strums out “All I Want for Christmas is You (to Leave Me Alone)“–as it should be sung. The crude rudeness isn’t called for, but necessary.
“Stay Away From Me This Christmas” intones Anton Glamb amid electronic psychedelia. He vants tubey alohn. Might need to upload this to my doorbell.
“There’s Nothing Wrong With Being Alone At Christmas” by The Happy Somethings retcons the whole friends-family-loved ones magilla into a retro pop swinger of zen acceptance. Neato.
The Used raise voices over abandonment issues when they’re “Alone This Holiday“. Harmonic indie pumped.
Leon Russell sings blues about The coldest place I know in “Christmas in Chicago“. It’s funky because it’s sad.
Also homesick, Leon Mondschein wheels through “Christmas in Hamburg” with AI Motown. I’d recommend cartoons, but–hey is that a BLUE ALERT?!
“Another Lonesome Christmas Eve in San Francisco” takes in the sites and landmarks, but that’s because Milena Wings has no one to share a fireplace with. Jazzy diva blues with a wild, atonal piano solo.
Not quite ready for adulting, K Bibbles tries on “1st (& 2nd) Christmas Alone“. Slow rapping about missing everyone in that new place. Might as well write a song.
From the corn to the pone, Bobby Helms is miserable with “Another Christmas Without You“. No stocking full of joy, only an aching heart. OG country.
Spiralling, Johnny O not only misses you, but pictures you in someone else’s arms “By the Fire, Burning Bright“. Lounge rage.
Barely recognizable, Cher synth-belts out “Christmas Ain’t Christmas Without You“. She’s begging, dude.
“I Miss Your Christmas” is reflective R+B from Kid Travis that urges me to reunite you to him., warts and all.
Wistfully BLUE ALERT “Another Christmas Without My Niggas” from Boosie Badazz is regretful rap, slow and sentimental. Weird.
Feelings run hot for the holidays: euphoria, depression, hysteria, fugue states… suicide ideation increases and Black Friday aggro is hardly a thing of the past. So, is it time for a Prince of Peace render unto us blessings or shock treatment?! We’ve certainly entertained maladjustments before on the blog, but now let’s sublimate our ids and get clinically analytical for Xmas.
As introduction to the whole central nervous system roadmap, Sarah Kopp brings forth a badly recorded, poorly rehearsed “AP Psychology Christmas Song“. If you can make out the terminology, take notes!
Carlos’ posts ‘s “Psychology Christmas Jingle” succeeds ever so slightly better.
JMaq’s Shark Uppercut delivers the entertainment when he pits “Santa Vs. Freud“. Electronic rap with consequences.