Christmas… So What?

It’s Christmas And You’re Boring Me” warbles out Slow Club with petulant indie monotone. Appropriate.

Unintelligibly, Dirt Vultures set the garage to eleven for “Christmas Could Be A Bummer“. Solutions? Anyone?

Not much positivity when Christmas is “Just Fine“. Ciao overlays Xmas music on top of vibrating pop to get their lack of point across.

Christmas Day is boring as well, maintains D’Modes in the iconic “Christmas is Crap“. Chanting rock. Why can’t every song be like this?

Beatnik Turtle sum up the indifference with the boss bluegrass of “Goin’ Through the Motions This Christmas“. Jittery insouciance.

X-Games: Figurative Racing

The hectic nature of the holiday season inspires much metaphoring and carrying on.

F’rexample, Andy Race opens his “Christmas Race” with fussing over penning this particular song in the summer. Two for whining! Easy listening glory.

Aisha Ray folkifies “Christmas Race” as endless chores twist and bind a romantic couple. And… it’s a happy ever after ending!

The Currys have a lively bit of bluegrass folk describing the family rushing around the house, “The Annual Christmas Day Race“.

Xmas Instruments: Mandolin

A lute, this is the soprano member of a family that uses picks and includes the mandola, octave mandolin, mandocello and mandobass. Usually somber. Can be merry.

Jingle Bots goes with the latter in the hoe down party “Cheer So True.” Proper bluegrass with the mandolin strumming.

Lunavare’s “Fresh Air” posed the simple life where mandolins play and christmases are white. New Age folk.

Jingle Bots’re back with a hyper jig “Jingle All Around.” Fiddle and a mandolin, now. Speedy grass.

Xmas Instruments: Fiddle

The Devil’s Box can turn a hoedown into a ho ho ho down.

Grandpa’s Christmas Fiddle” is probably the same as Grandpa’s everyday fiddle, but with The Barefoot Man’s bluegrass breakdown it seems more magical. Go, Grandma, go!

Glen Duncan wants his own “Fiddle for Christmas.” Give it him says i. Gnarly bluegrass.

Shouldn’t Celtic rock have fiddles? Allan Schau answers the riddle with a snowed-in “Christmas at the Pub.” Drinking and cavorting, they prefer fiddles to carols. Tough fun.

Look out, country’s back. “Cowboy Santa” by Deanna D’Amico-White comes off as a gushy girly wish list. Though she does want Santa to meet me in the barn where the fiddles play. Uh oh.

Aurosa sings “Christmas on the Country Road” with a scosh of polka, but there’s plenty of guitars, banjos, and fiddles mentioned.

Did you say POLKA? The Andrews Sisters front Guy Lombardo and His Royal Canadians (1949) for “Merry Christmas Polka,” where they’re tuning up the fiddles. Why? Because they like you!

Betty Overstreet stirs monotonous kidsong into her bluegrass for “Billy Bob the Hillbilly Goat.” And suddenly it’s Christmas.

Richard Melvin Brown spices up the bluegrass with downbeat party pop for a “Tennessee Bluegrass Christmas.” Spare the fiddle, spoil the season.

Xmas Instruments: Banjo

The African-descended banjer took the world by storm centuries ago, so we’ll expect more here.

Bob Johns gives us the homegrown folk of “The Christmas Banjo” as a Christmas present, and who give it him, and who made it, and on and on. It may surprise you that this is a short song.

Also a bit off-studio, William Evenhouse admits “I Want a Banjo for Christmas.” Okay, Boomer. Too earnest for bluegrass. But, some solid talent.

Dave Taylor invokes family again for “When Grandpa Played the Banjo.” This folk tune, however, does not behold the stringed whinger as gladly. Some nice strummin’.

Corny country from Ritchie Remo bequeaths unto us “Santa Played the Banjo.” The pop mush gives us a picking and grinning and tutoring Father Cee.

Santa Gave Me A Banjo” gets us back to traditional bluegrass care of Self Rising Flour. Stately in its back-woodsery.

Box of Books gets more antic with “Banjo for Christmas.” This garage bluegrass can think of nothing better than this gift from Santa. Some silliness.

Also high-speed Spencer Chandler can’t stop gleefully celebrating how “Santa Claus Brought Me a 5-String Banjo.” It’s a bit ’70s gosh, a bit Sing Along with Mitch, a bit breakdown throw down. Whew.

Dan Cloutier takes another approach when he receives the unasked-for instrument. He is told “Yule Love the Banjo” in high speed folk. Apparently this is a family tradition. So it is enforced.

Steve and Bonnie Vetsch duet over a laundry list of wanna for Xmas, including how “I Want A Banjo For Christmas.” This CW grass leads me to believe Jesus played that thing. Huh.

Holy cats, but Bajazzerne rolls out the washboard jazz band–including midwestern scat–for the boggling “Santa Plays the Banjo.”

Buffalo Bill Boycott puts “The Christmas Banjo” in the hands of Daddy this time. Once he brushed off the coal dust. Sparkling bluegrass, with some schmaltz.

The Del McCoury Band featuring Ronnie McCoury revel in a “Bluegrass Christmas.” Guess which instruments get named for a proper holiday band?

Banjos get invoked late in the essential Sufjan Steves “Let’s Boogey to the Elf Dance!” as a means of dance-party celebrating. But this indie boogie is infectious. Some fun.

Jed Marum brings it home with the humbly elegant “Banjos We Have Heard On High.” A share from Pete th’Elf, this bluegrass sways gently in the Christmas breeze.

“In this modern day and age, we have instant coffee, instant tea – instant disbelief”-G.T.

Again: Nicktoons’ Jimmy Neutron pits our eponymous hero against his entire schoolroom with the showtune debate “Basking in the Warmth of Christmas.” It’s a mainstream standoff.

Gighive indies an upbeat “Here Comes Christmas,” the whole time smirking behind their sleeves. Not really!

David Goody lectures us about what’s real and what’s true. With his toy piano pop he chides our Xmas trads, but stands by UK’s rock band Slade in the culturally bound “Mr. Holder’s Yule Log.” Better dresser than Santa, anyways.

Shorty Garrett don’t believe in any of this holiday hoohaw. You’ve heard all those lies, haven’t you? “I Think You Know” he declaims through strangled bluegrass, in case you hadn’t.

I Want to BELIEVE:X

Gerry and The Crocodettes give us a way to answer the question “Is Santa Real?” It’s kidsong and it just takes the presents. Rough synth.

Wanting to believe–fighting for it–still counts. I’m talking about Sasha Alex Sloan’s lounge indie “Santa’s Real.” Poor child.

What was really cool music in the ’60s? Well, for a tutorial, try The Villa Capri’s “Do You Believe in Santa Claus?” Never mind the whole LOVE business, check out those strings!

Cian Foley stays up to prove “Santa’s Real,” then sings it all indie and whatnot. Years pass… can you guess what the boy grows up to believe?

Alex Smith applies Elvis to the question “Do You Believe in Santa Claus?” Spoiler: he doesn’t care what your answer is. He’d rather mockabilly his own beliefs.

Andrew Scotchie rocks lightly over the skepticism to declare “Santa is Real.” Get with it!

To sell it, Roderick Newport works up a bluegrass treatment for his “Do You Believe in Santa Claus?” It’s no break-down, so okay to share with the kids.

I Want to BELIEVE-II

Trying again, Scott Hearn’s character in the musical ‘Christmas in Hell’ belts out “I Wish That I Believed.” He wants to connect to magic, the season, and hope. It’s regretfully heartfelt.

John Denver and The Muppets make “The Christmas Wish” about you believing. This maudlin middle of the road country bummer really wants what’s best for the whole world. Just so you know, God and Santa get mixed up a whole lot this month.

Seeing is believing, as we’ll see repeatedly here. “See the Big Man Flying” chortles Andy Beisel & The Buccaneers with totes adorbs low country swing. Follow that kid’s finger for yourself.

Perhaps turning away from Jesus, Kelly Galvin fronts “I’ll Believe In Santa If I Want To” by Wild Bill featuring the Whiskey Shivers. She figures more presents that way in this charming bluegrass strummer.

Peek on Earth.3

Maureen O’Brien jounces while “Waitin’ for Santa.” Euphemistic swearing results in some disappointment when it’s time. Electronic kidsong.

Thwarted lookouts in “Snow Got in Our Eyes” from Fruitcakes. Retro pop rock (my favorite) allows for other sense to take over. These snarky kids won’t quit.

Asking the tough questions  Charlie McAlister & Eric Ostrowski want to country know “Why Wait for Santa Claus?” The answer is pretty zen.

From some other country Will & Grego are “Waiting On Santa” with all the grace of an eight-and-a-half bluegrass fiddler. It’s jittery fun.

Polysomnography: Under Covers

Who goes to bed Xmas Eve? You do! Yes, you do, you good boy(s and girls)!

From Pete the Elf comes an obscure 1967 45 from Bill Lamb(?) entitled “Go to Sleep, Little Lambs.” This pedagogical rant puts kids in their place (bed).

Perry Como seems too old to be anything but creepy when he sotto voces the details of children’s bedtimes for “Christmas Eve.” A la la la of an easy listening journey.

Remember? Rob Lord’s “Bag of Coal” only goes to the kids who aren’t good. But our protagonist’s eyelids are getting heavy, so he’ll be okay and NOT get clothes. Pretty indie.

Rita Faye Wilson (as brought to us by John Waters) childishly exhorts us to behold “Sleigh Bells, Reindeer, and Snow.” But you better be good or you won’t see him. Under the covers may not afford much view, but that’s the bluegrass pop deal here.