Category: pop music

Whether boy or girl, when named CAMERON please review your family history. It’s Gaelic for big fat crooked nose. Is that okay?

Taking a swing at ‘Dominic’ Generic Tan Car sing as awfully as they can about “Cameron The Christmas Chicken“. Just another pop garage crime scene.

Cam Get’m’s gonna open a cam of mistletoe when he squares off. “Cam vs. Klaus” is rock pop duel that wants to be rap, then delivers a hair metal solo. Hey.

Not sure if many girls get named Franca, Italia, or Deutschia, but BRITTANY is just a female from Britain. (Not France, bc the people from that region actually took over England starting around 1066.)

Megan Moroney hoots and hollers through “All I Want for Christmas Is a Cowboy” with the jolliest honky tonk blues. But she does have to fight off the Brittanys and Jessicas to get him. Guess there’s not enough to go around.

November Cold takes us through another tragic loss coinciding with the holidays in their indie power ballad “Rockefeller Center“. They lost Brittany before Mom, but we’re not clear if that’s a breakup or merely more mortality. This is the rage stage of death.

Michael Ray gets with the imagery in “Picture“, a country twanger about reminiscing with an old photo of his sister Britney and him at Christmas. Naturally he connects it to death.

Let’s deal with the over naming in North America. Surplus of Brittneys often leads to devaluation. Plus Keishas. Both get denigrated in the nasty rap
BLUE AlERT “Christmas Twerk” by Dk Diggz.

“Merry Christmas Britney” is ’80s style pop from Christmas Crackers doing their damnedest to lure that titular gal on over. Offers hail from man and woman, just in case. No answer… yet.

A couple languages fight to claim BRANDON. So, weedy hill, village smithy, or prince are among your etymological picks for what’s of late become a dogwhistle swear.

[If you don’t get that last mention, review the rapping humor of Forgiato Blow’s “Let’s Go Brandon Christmas“. It’s a hate thing.]

Kelly Clarkson doesn’t name her beau in the lyrics of “Winter Dreams (Brandon’s Song)“, but she married the guy so we’ll allow this over orchestrated pop hysteria.

Love Note to Dexter introduces us to “Brandon Yule“. And that’s it. Insistent pop.

Sure sure sure, BILL is short for William, but Billy Boy is such an entrenched sobriquet–and i have SO many songs for the B-name–, i gotta give him his due. Duck lips! Restaurant reckoning! Law draft! Hat visor!

Let’s get past the missed-it-by-that-much comedy from Brett Gelman & Paul Scheer “Bill & Ted’s Christmas“. The cultural flashpoints are aged out, the humor is too much Beavis and Butthead. Off color more than blue.

An AI rocker about the movie Gremlins?! UCV House Band features Christmas and Billy and his warning “Don’t Feed Them at Midnight“. So, here it is.

More movie riffs from Davey Dips deals with Billy’s “Post Traumatic Santa Claus Disorder“. Damn dark rap pop.

American Death Cult blind stomps through “Billy’s Christmas Party” with a death metal wont. Scary.

Just as scary, Billy was so naughty he gets “Tofu For Christmas” and it wants to hurt. Tofu Vibrations hollers the garage hit of the season.

Time for a hero! “Big Brave Bill Saves Christmas” by stopping Snowman Sid and rescuing the young and the old. Delightful Celtic ballideering by Kate Rusby.

Some rando puts on the suit and becomes “Santa Bill“, a memory cherished in funky blues by Brad Peterson.

The Incorrigibles go for more of a nuanced great guy. “Wild Bill’s Wild Christmas” is country drunk for the holidays.

Little cousin Bill wants to see the mall Santa, even though Birthing Stirrups reminds him of the delicious potato pancakes at home. But it’s all “Steam Rolled Santa” downhill from there. Very upset garage.

On that same album they reveal the fate of “A Christmas Sweater for Billy“. It’s the last thing he ever wore. Bereaved garage.

More enterprisingly, Dr. BLT (feat Brian Benson) garage maintains “Billy Wants a Job for Christmas“.

More upsettingly, Hot Buttered Elves tell the tale of “Billy’s Gift“. A nice boy who wanted a puppy gets the New Age indie treatment. What terrible tragedy could befall this?! And then he did –what?!?

“Christmas Eve at the Dew Drop Inn” by Flooded Cellar involves a drunken Billy, hot rodding, and blind driving. Garage a go go.

Regrettably metaling to the tune of “Jingle Bells (Billy’s Christmas)” The Venom Berries recount a naughty Billy and the hijinx what ensue.

When naughty, “Billy and the Christmas Coal” play a duet, according to Chance Hunter’s country AI-flavored banger. Wait for the twist ending.

BLUE ALERT when snowboys2k14 parody The Beach Boys with “Little Saint Billy“. No, i don’t get it.

I do get “Billy the Christmas Pig“, a spoken word children’s book about an orphaned animal–not a reindeer–as sung by The Gift of Christmas Players. Some prejudices are celebrated.

Less stigmatized, “Billy Bob the Hillbilly Goat” makes a show around Xmas as monotoned by the folksy Betty Overstreet.

Red Sovine’s “Billy’s Christmas Wish” about a freezing human orphan gets a tear jerkin’ cover from Brian Allan.

Jim Bobo & Hank Mitzell come across that same orphan in the honky tonk tinkler “Little Bill At Christmas“. Same reactions.

Comedy from wan•abs features the shady door-to-door knocker “Salesman Bill” around the holidays.

Santa schools Billy in the odd off-key “Santa’s Wishes” as spoken worded by The Unemployed Orchestra. Presents? We don’t need no stinkin’ presents!

Billy-envy is a thing in the rapped “Jelly Christmas” by Lexly Nirvana (feat. 1K Phew & Belle). Don’t look for lessons here.

Kidsong nonsense from NanaBananaKidZ AIs “McChilly Billy the Snowman“. Hyperactive.

Barry Ward has a scary flashback during Christmas ’99 of a heroic GI name of Billy in “Christmas in Chu Lai”. Funny thing is, Bill refers to his sacrifice as Christmas in July (mispronunciation mine own). Country pop ballad.

Billy, the boy scientist, invents a “Christmas Time Machine” in order to catch a ride with Ol’ Nick. Piedmont Songbag slings the boggie woogie without apology or explanation, just like i like.

Billy, the aspiring artist, was so good “Billy Got Drums For Christmas“, pop with a killer backbeat from The Hooves. Screw the neighbors.

Also blessed, Isaac Koshy’s Billy has “A Wonderful Christmas” getting the perfect present. Couldn’t tell you what it is from this rocker.

“Little Billy’s Christmas” turns out pretty good as well. Country Gary knows what a country boy wants. Country music! And a robot.

Mike Stackhouse lightens the country when they offer to “Hit Bill with a Toaster“. Non-material things seem to matter.

Yet another ripping yarn, “I Saw Your Father Beat A Man To Death In Tesco’s” from Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer recounts Billy’s da Dickie doing the dirty deed at the worst possible time. And the song he sang to Billy. Music hall rap.

“Billy Got My Bike” complains Jacobsen Brothers after the Xmas booty has been compared. Folk pop for kids who want to know how to balance the scales. of unfairness. Lessons learned?

Another disputed set of origins. Blond, spear, or barbarian? I see all three as BARRY!

“Barry Christmas and the Happy New Year” by Barry Gammon begins as lively pop naming odd out reindeer. Then the refrain alternates Merry with Barry for Christmas greetings. Okay. Back patted.

“Barry Christmas” by BARRRYYY, on the other ham, is a flimsy excuse to say naughty things. Spearman, indeed.

On the nicer end, Barry has made a song! “Barry Loves You Santa” is such short pop that it’s premature genre.

In a winkity wank, The Harmony Boys sketch out some comedy asking us to “Meet Barry Harmony“. Oh, Barry!

Barry Paranoid and the Tin Foil Hats put us back on the obscenity track with “We Wish You a Barry Xmas“. BLUE ALERT! Punk screaming, but in the spirit.

Colin Buchanan & Greg Champion introduce us to a rude “Barry The Elf“, but keep us somewhat family friendly with this scampish kidsong.

Jeff Green has a jolly “Christmas Spree” with too much food, gifts, and fun. He continually wishes himself, Barry, a good time. So, festive–no regrets. Electro-pop.

ASHLEY is a gender neutral name, meaning it WAS a boy’s name [cf. Gone With the Wind]; now it’s a girls name [like in Full House]. Something to do with trees and grass….

Consider the variant. Asher and Wednesday have been naughty this year, so Calling the Skies relegate them to “Krampusnacht“‘s miseries. Metal, natch.

The Brown Christmas thinks it’s funny to run a 1-900 Xmas sex ad with the title “Hi I’m Ashley“. I think it’s a missed opportunity.

bertramland sneaks in song-as-present with “Merry Christmas Ashley“. Hyperbolic passion, but: Say His Name Out Loud! or it’s not special. R+B beginner level.

Pennies Down has a similar problem with “Merry Christmas To You (Song For Ashley)“. Lots of you in this garage rocker. No names named.

Ashley is one of the family in the shouting match “Big BOOM! Christmas” from A.J. & Big Justice. She wants a puppy. I want earplugs.

Ray Powers fixes our wagon with “Christmas Miracle (Live)“. The unlikely happens to little Ashley, who doesn’t have a pony. When she writes a school essay in an institution that doesn’t separate church and state, she gets a better result than little Ralphie. Hard pop.

The German for famous and smart is ALBERT. Well, Anglicized it is. Think Schweitzer and Einstein.

“Albert The Brassed Ass Antelope” may not be especially bright, but it he is shiny. Party the Hut and Friends carouse this parody drunkenly.

Paw Front use AI to honor the book “Albert The Hanukkah Bulldog“. He’s no Rudolph, but someone would like us to think so.

Backroad Syndicate disparage this high-reaching name as well. With AI sing along big band rudeness, the character in question sings horribly. “What About Albert?” is the result.

Uncle Albert and Jermaine witness the star from space in “Christmas22” as foretold by SFG Band. Jazzy easy listening pop. It works.

ADAM be manly, but should he honor some descendent’s birth? Well, EVERYONE’s a birthed descendent from him.

Celestial Skies sneaks in a game party frivolity, “Adam & Steve“–as in Who’s kissing underneath the mistletoe? Pretty pop for a lovin’ season. (NOTE: plenty of songs list off names [of who wants what on Santa’s list]. Those aren’t thematically relevant [to me] here, but occasionally i gotsta include a duo or two.)

Third wife to King David, First Lady to the second US President, first in our hearts of pen names for advice columnists, ABIGAIL is one of those Puritan favorites that claim joy but don’t go around throwing it in everybody’s face.

Dan + Shay smarm up the country with pop music in “Long Live Christmas“, an anthem for God to Bless Santa/Girls named Abigail and Hannah/Real trees, fake trees, big and small. They appreciate their biblical ladies. I guess.

On the other side of the coin “Abigail’s Song” (From ‘Doctor Who, a Christmas Carol’) is Katherine Jenkins walking in the aria all about loneliness and shadows. Perhaps not so much Xmas.

Leaopardvines (Timothy Schmidt · Madeline R Schmidt) celebrate “Abby’s Christmas Song” with a nod to her parents (and her mama’s vagina), the warm family home, and all the fun she brings. Pretty cool folk indie pop.

Anonymously sung, “God Said I Love You On Christmas Day” attempts to uplift the uninformed. I guess i can see why they’re unnamed.

Valley of Love (feat. Nicolau Roig Fonta) begins “Let the Xmas Get into Your Heart” as slow and sweet as a three person luau. Then there’s gunplay. And ragtime. Weee!

The Tvsjudgejoebrown Band makes a meal of “Thank You Christmasland“, but the mishmash of music and garbled crowd noises make it hard for me to know when to say Thank You.

For “You Make Christmas Feel Like Heaven” Tommy Page opens his heart and tries to make a successful pop tune. Don’t make fun.

Reimagining ‘Home for Christmas’ The Tractors reveal the motivation for returning in “Baby Wanna Be by You“. Honky tonking cool.

TV’s Kyle (feat. Lindzilla) to the novelty rescue with the pop duet “Do You Want a Candy Cane?” Finally, the YOU addressed answers! And it’s all good.