“Merry Christmas Satan” from Night Smoker is more of his greetings to you than sucking up to his forked tongue. Short hard metal rock.
Terry Silva picks at a sore i’ve been worried about. If JC’s appearance opened the way for forgiveness from grievous sin, what’s to stop an enterprising young no nogudnik from transgressing (as in BLUE ALERT: Worship Satan’s cock), then seeking forgiveness again and again. “Christmas Songs” may not settle that quandary, but the would is flowing freely now thanks to his subtle pop.
The Other side hard metals “Satan Claus” to lead us to irony, gravity, and choking up blood. Add ferocity and you got Yahtzee.
La Funky Simia tells the tale of the little one who misspells Dear Santa Claus. and writes “Satan Claus” summoning the end of the world, as well as a place in Hell that teaches proper orthography. Pop v. metal splendor.
The shtriga in Albania, vrykolakas in Greece and strigoi in Romania are a far cry from the stylish, charismatic vampire of today. These soul-less demonically possessed corpses feed off of us because otherwise they have no animus. So, like a Hollywood agent.
Rev. Wyrdsli uses Anne Rice’s fictive Lestaat to feature in the bloodbath “Vampire Christmas.” Santa shows up, but to little purpose. Spoken caroldie.
Still more girlishness from Claudia Robin Gunn about the helpful “The Xmas Unicorns.” They help with magic magic, magic magic. They also fly. [Her “Jingle Jangle Magic” also entertains, this time with unicorns AND trolls AND witches AND pixies AND more…..]
Fraine River recounts with fine folk pop how fairy tales with Pegasus and “Unicorns” will help children believe in things like true love, even on Christmas Day. Don’t harsh my dumb, bro.
Quarantined malaise is reflected in the “Depressed Unicorn Christmas Song.” Kevin Drew leads us away from kids’ pap to more nuanced pop morphing into soul. Whoa.
Sufjan Stevens has been on the blog before with unicorns, but now he returns–barely–with “Lonely Man of Winter,” a plea for poeticized living. It’s a thick one, bees and gees. A unicorn is imagined. Ask your teacher.
The singularity may be only a couple decades off, but as with most prophecies our general intelligence and anxiety of overlording artificial intelligence or robotic sentience will preclude any takeover. The actual robopocalypse will be with a whimper, not a bang. We will become them, they will become us. No difference… after 2050 or so.
Still, it’s my opportunity to once again include MY FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG of all time. Jonathan Coulton’s boss pop “Chiron Beta Prime.”
Now try “The Christmas Robot” by MJ Hibbett & The Validators! This apparently children’s song pits The Christmas Dinosaur against humankind’s nemesis to violent effect. The ending hints at Christmas spirit, but then–
Retrobot shows us the evolutionary beginning of these masters with their “Christmas Robot.” EDM for kids.