Gunna Celebrate.264 LBC-AR

Keep an eye out… for bullets! (again)

You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out” by Big Chris & D’bare Bones Band is a summary of that movie to some gangater honkytonk rockabilly. Makes that movie better.

Ralphie’s Red Ryders rock the pop when they persist their case: “I Won’t Shoot My Eye Out.” That’s right. I can dig it.

The (John) Candy metal the kidsong with their “You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out.” Napalm? I feel threatened.

Johnny Dee rollicks the rock with “Shoot Your Eye Out.” It’s fun, even when he calls the household jolly assholes. So, be careful.

Millington swings the ska pop with “Christmas Song (I Don’t Want To Hear Another).” They do pick up on all the specials and movies, however, including having Lost an eye to a BB gun. Awww.

Gunna Celebrate.256 Gibbs Magnum BLUE ALERT

I shoulda seen “Jingle Bell Glock” coming. This BLUE ALERT parody comes in at a 7 for wit, but a 4 for talent. Sorry, Eddie Ishaya & Wasted Youth.

BLUE ALERT. The short-is rap “Asked Santa Claus For A Glizzy” by Sunshine Christo gets filtered and urban, but is so sing-along that you’ll want the whole family to join in.

Santa will you bring me a gun, I think I need to kill someone, sort-of raps April Blue in the just weird enough “Too Much.” Warned ya.

Kinsey Sticks point out how Lebanese and Syrians get a gun, so they want to also “Get a Gun.” A cappella pop with a hint of hymnal. And you can use it later for Halowe’en!

A bit ironic and agenda-driven The Private Gentlemen’s Yacht Club has the children recite “All I Want For Christmas Is a Shotgun.” The reason: It’s America! BLUE ALERT as well as gasp alert. Lively pop.

Gunna Celebrate.246 Purdey

Santa with a gun? Who’s shooting whom?

4 Aspirin Morning ska rap “Santa in a Ski Mask (Stick ’em Up It’s Christmas)” with all the womp womp of a club band. I had the time of my life.

Some dandy beach pop from Ryan Seabass defuses the whole “Santa’s Got a Gun” scenario. What, me worry?

Happy rap from Eiqu claims “Santa Claus was a Gangster.” Preferred a nine if memory recalls. Left bodies as much as gifts. Reformed later.

Shouted rap from The Benefit reveals what it’s like to be “Gunned Down by Santa Claus (I Didn’t See It Coming).” Honestly, it’s over before you know it.

fkbambam & Wxrmz get mighty BLUE ALERT rapping about “MRS CLAUS,” a demanding bitch, as well as Santa with his Tommy gun. Time to order online.

Santa’s Got a Gun” is the big reveal in Watkins & the Rapiers bebop pop rock number. You’ll want your dance shoes on for this one.

Gunna Celebrate.22-250 Remington BLUE ALERT

Kids today! Utter Nonsense electronically raps: I put a gun in the turkey ‘Cause my momma said No phones at the table; Well now she’s dead. “Tik Tok Boy” marches to a different drummer only he can hear.

More fun with Te Vale Quien Soy serenading us slow and folksy with “I Shoot My Gun on Christmas.” Attention seeker!

Megahurts retro-pops “All I Got for Christmas was This Lousy Gun.” You could dance to it, but you might wanna do the Watusi instead.

If ever emo-boy pop was deserved it was for “Abandonment Clause” by Cloudwatch. I promise I’ll stay, Won’t tell no one–It’s Christmas day: I wanted a gun. Spoiler: it’a about abuse in the home. BLUE ALERT tearjerking.

Gunna Celebrate.220 Russian

A Candy Gun for Christmas” by Niels Cremer takes a step back from the violence and rage and considers the psychology of toys and gifts with new aged indie-ism. BTW do you eat a candy gun barrel first??

Running around naked firing nerf guns in the air is the least of the problems in the lite-metal “Another Family Christmas” from 77 Apes. Duck!

Two-Ton Santa warbles rock on the attic recording “Toy Gun.” There may be a lesson in here….

Even more atonal, “Bobby Got a BB Gun for Christmas” from Todds Holiday Greeting Disk spools out the escalating tale of a budding sociopath. Shouted folk pop.

Gunna Celebrate.22 Cheetah

Machine gun? The thugs in The Kinks’ “Father Christmas” ask for one (if you have one). Nearly polite for muggers. Classic rock/proto punk.

Caetano Veloso has a problem “In The Hot Sun Of A Christmas Day.” Through slow-mo classical pop we learn he’s being chased, but by someone who machine gunned someone else. I think. Wild flute backing it all up.

Against All Flags waves their garage banner “Machine Gun Christmas” like it’s the answer to all their problems. Then they switch to wanting a guitar. Whew.

All I Want for Christmas (Is a Machine Gun)” by Henrique Couto is a mojo-nixon soundalike daring you to be offended with its pop sound. Cool.

Bring It On

Covered all the bases for a terrible, horrible, not very good Christmas, have we? Let’s see.

End of the world was last month, but something always falls through the cracks. Like “A Merry Nuclear Christmas” from X-Ray Mary. Old time rock and roll, babies.

also missed on the blog was “Worst Christmas Ever (Christmas of the Dead)” from Hardeman. Zombies are back with a vengeance.

Even more apocalyptic is “The Star That Fell to Earth” from Edison Lighthouse (those ‘My Love Grows (Where Rosemary Goes)’ guys). Prog rock about the meteor that heralded Christ. Look out! Save the dinosaurs!

The other end of the spectrum includes “The Worst Part of Christmas is You” wherein Oak Winter Red warbles out an alt-folk diatribe about how a cup of cocoa ruins EVERYTHING!

More relevant, Jeremih & Chance the Rapper rap-belt out “Tragedy” about a homeless man, and Winter, and fried sugary bells, and ghosts. I guess. It’s a bad scene.

The. Worst. Christmas. Ever.” according to Lux Lisbon is still better than every other day. Thus endeth the lesson. Pop rock music preaches again.

Only You Can Prevent Xmas Fires

‘Chicago Fire’ fan lyrics with “In Harm’s Way,” a country folk elegy from Kid Mayhem. It’s about those heroes who spend Christmas with you and your charred remains.

Parody’s back! Dave Rudolf tackles Johnny Cash in his “Flue of Fire.” Santa don’t like it when you leave a light on for him!

Piedmont Songbag seems to revel in the arson. “A Christmas to Remember” is a soft folk dialogue between nostalgic rememberers and that year the tree burned down (pretty colors!). But then “Burning the Christmas Tree” is an insistent polka of ritualistic bacchanalia.

The Living End–

Except for Tim Allen, no one ever said Santa was immortal.

Worst Christmas Song Ever” is crappy lounge singing about the tender tots asleep on Christmas. Glenn Simonelli jazzes up the prank about telling the kids about Claus’s demise.

In “Christmas Sucks (Sheepie’s Christmas)” AlbinoBlackSheep (feat. Andrew Kepple) sings music hall jazz about how we all hate S.C.! After shooting him down, however, Sheepie has regrets.

Pete the Elf tipped me wise to the goth/blues of finding dead Santa whilst doing chimney work in the beautifully dark “A Daddy Christmas Eve” by Who’s the Daddy Now? Silver lining: another believer!

Make Like Monkeys return to feed the greed in “Mine!!! Rub Out Santa Claus.” Arsenic pies make an appearance in this ragtime-ish polka pop.

Honk Honk

Statistics claim traffic injuries/fatalities are more numerous in the summer months than the winter… and yet, how awful for Xmas to be marred so.

Fleet Foxes messes with perception in their “White Winter Hymnal” about being careful not being enough when I turned ’round and there you go… Indie spookiness.

Lots of ‘Run Over’ songs and take offs. We shouldn’t, but we’ll allow “Grandpa Got run Over by a Hybrid.” Brad Tassell & Steve Goodie acquit the thankless job deliberately. Liberal backlash.

More parody?! “Here Comes Bubba’s Cows” all over NASCAR tracks. Dave Rusolf returns for a not-so-Christmas carol. Fire up the ‘Cue!

More on topic would be The Non Traditionals returning for “We Hit the Reindeers.” Jazzy rock with an MA rating.

I was Made for Losing You” is an auto fatality from the POV of the DOA. Yikes, but soothing pop from Eric Bachmann.