Poverty, am i right? “Christmas At The Old Home Place” is bluegrass from Joe Mullins & the Radio Ramblers (feat. Earl Barnes). Everything’s got holes in it, including stockings!
“There’s A Hole In My Christmas Stocking” bewails The Caroleer Singers and Orchestra. But this kidsong admits the sentimental value of Grandma’s heirloom precludes any present loss. Pay it forward!
Worth repeating: BLUE ALERT “Santa Don’t Bring Gifts To Assholes” is the pop proclamation from Paul Mauled and the Furious Elves. You should probably heed this dictum.
Vera Lyn takes us back to the 1930s when swearing wasn’t as much a lyrical go-to. “The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot” is a big band ode to poor kids. Sad stuff. She originated this number, but Nat King Cole is no slouch at underplaying the bathos and making a real story out of it.
The world premiere cast of Nuncrackers–The Nunsense Christmas Musical gets down home with “Santa Ain’t Comin’ to Our House.” It’s a knee-slappin’ hoe-downin’ uplift to children’s tragedy.
When my baby can’t be with me then, well, “Santa Can’t.” Big band evolves into rap then just mashes up. Brought to you by 0July Moon (feat. Kristen & Ryanne).
Worth Repeating: The Marquees whistle up some doo wop for “Santa Done Gone Hip.” Believe it, Jake.
Zendaya develops her chops as a Disney baby way back when flouncing some kid-friendly R+B in “Shake Santa Shake.” That’s how we do.
The Withers wanna get down with Mr. Cookies & Milk in the Men Without Hats parody “Santa Dance.” Get down, get frosty.
The Wiggles also move hyperactively with their kidsong “Reindeer Express.” It’s more block chain than twisting.
Three Day Threshold says it in so many words: “You Can’t Slow Santa Down.” His sleigh will beat a Ferrari!
Louis Prima dances big band jump blues with the 1951 excellence “Shake Hands with Santa Claus.” It’s a mad euphemism for partying, loving, and letting loose.
Worth repeating: “Santa’s Disco” is the party to party all parties. The Superions add a step of disco to their alt-pop.
David W Watson drawls out real slowly “Santa’s Party Sled.” Folk (or just real slow country) outlines the guest, activities, and appreciations. I may have fallen asleep and couldn’t tell you.
“Let’s Go Dancing with Santa” is KC and The Sunshine Band’s boisterous attempt to observe the holidays. Danceable. Not much else.
Not keen on uncredited songs, but “Santa’s Party” composed by Mike Kenel/Ian Grant rocks the ‘billy just right. Thanks, Pete the Elf.
Party the Hut and Friends bang on garage rock to hail “Party Claus.” It’s brah-tastic. He’s hanging with Jesus and Monica Lewinsky.
“Santa Claus’s Party” is originally from Les Baxter and a more sprightly kidsong i would have trouble finding. Tom Rankin & Dan Zimmerman make a dirge of it with synth and modulations galore. Eww.
Dadaist experimental word salad from Limp Dick and The New Christians, “Santa’s Sweaty Beard” seems to have no beard in it at all. Only vulgarity.
Perhaps all the mysteries of the holidays are powered by “Santa’s Magic Beard.” Stardeath and White Dwarfs approach psychedelia with their pop xylophone puffery.
“Santa Claus with His Long White Beard” is wacky big band reconstruction by Kathy Reid-Naiman. The wah-wah hatted trumpet is fine foolery. …and splat.
We’ll skip the foreign language songs (mostly German). But Krampus gets play in some truly offbeat holiday offerings.
“The Night I Battled Krampus” Deseis admits he didn’t win… a rap battle! Yet, Krampus went away with his tail ‘twixt hoofed legs. Tune in to find out why.
Flesh Eating Foundation shouts out the polka-based “Oh Krampus!” basically begging the fiend to relieve the poor singers of their brats. You’re our only hope.
Spelling it out for our benefit Make Like Monkeys pop sing “K-R-A-M-P-U-S.” These are the kids begging to not be taken/eaten/whatever.
Gary Roadarmel & The Parish Commissioners retro rock the same plea in “Here Comes Krampus.” Yeah yeah yeah.
Krampus-philia from Actually makes “Krampus Redux” a bit squirmy. That thirteen inch tongue! Girl pop, but not that way. [As a ‘redux’ you must be wondering where the first rendering went. It went into nearly amateurish “Krampus Christmas.” It’s celebratory.]
RaSquatch waxes the ska dance floor with a premium “Krampus.” Put on your red hooves and get up!
AAIIEE gets quietly philosophical for their “Krampus Is an Evil Man.” But this confrontation between gruesome and attitude doesn’t fare well for the little boy.
Getting lazy Krampus Claus vrooms “Krampus It’s Cold Outside” by substituting every fifth word with Krampus. Does it work?
Folky country from Twitch n Jimbers evokes Elvis when we’re invited to keep “Kreepin’ with Krampus.” It’s a marvelous time. That does work.
One last parody from Tom Smith. “We Need a Little Krampus” paints the furry freak with rose colored glasses. Funny.
Swinging big band music from The Glenn Crytzer Orchestra jazzes ups ol’ “Krampus.” Mercy!
If you’re familiar with John Candy and Steve Martin’s ‘Planes, Trains, and Automobiles’ you know all modes of transportation fail around the holidays. In fact, many Christmas songs about taking the train warn about being late.
Sarah Connor begins “Not So Silent Night” all ASMR anticipatory about getting ready. But the family crashes and bangs: Kids complainin’ Santa’s late; Brother stuck on the train… and it rocks on and on about the glorious mess of Advent reality. Cathartic.
Boys get impatient, too. Hudson Taylor power pop sings I’ve got my family and my friends, my lady′s on her way I go to meet her off the train, yeah, but it′s running late–that’s “How I Know It’s Christmas.” Acceptance is the last stage. Or maybe silver lining.
“Get There for Christmas” by Monique De Los Santos · Jex De Castro · Andrew Collins pitches up the frustrations of tardy toot toots with chimey pop music. Whoa-oh-oh-ohoh.
Lala Deaton is diva jazz band hopefully “Wishing on a Snowflake” that you’ll make it home in time for the holidays. I read a telegram today that you might be delayed; But nothing′s gonna hold that train cause Christmas won’t be late. Sultry, though it does suggest a kickline.
