Category: punk

“You Deserve Better [Presents]”

Xscape frames “Christmas Without You” in a sliding scale R+B. So that’s very sad.

The Blind Eyes cover Rough Shop’s “Christmas AM Gold” with a careless rocking depression. They ask Santa to bring her back. Desperate. But, guitar solo!

“Christmas Without The Creole” celebrates another loss. Irma Thomas brings da blues and she means it.

BLUE ALERT! Charly Bliss (feat. PUP) punk rock out “It’s Christmas and I Fucking Miss You“. No notes.

Big Dave–and his pony–are alone as can be when it’s “Christmas on the Prairie“. Plaintive cowboy country.

Preempting the breakup, Aradia Faire uses garage punk to demand “All I Want For Christmas Is For You To Go Away“–so, BLUE ALERT. Great giving a piece of mind to… Not the ending i was hoping for….

X-Mental: Depression

Not only country songs deal with overwhelming sadness for December. It’s quite popular.

Almost Vinyl shows us what ‘good’ AI can do. For one, this is a Christmas novelty no one else woulda bothered with. For another BLUE ALERT and suicidal ideation beset “Harvey The Chronically Depressed Snowman.” Childrens’ jazziness, attributed to Merle Chives.

Bedbound by Summer return with the loud pop tribute “Depressed This Christmas.” They hate everybody. Sit next to me.

H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society also returns with “A Cyclopean Tomb (down in deep R’lyeh)“. Horror takes its toll in this parody.

Akira the Don gets the DJ treatment while lecturing how “Christmas Could Be a Dark Time“. It’s all in the family. And it’s all downhill. Will this be on the final?

The Aux declares “Christmas Day” as depressing–as an adult… without a girlfriend. Slightly garaged rock. (But i think these brokenhearted depressions are a whole ‘nother category. So let’s move on.)

“Grey Skies” by The Jersey Barrier slows the indie roll dwelling on the lackluster wintry scenery contrasted against the holiday spirit. It will make you feel worse.

Screechy bluegrass allows Yulenog to peel away family Christmas joy revealing “Depresso” underneath. Yeah, family….

Aaron Grant hears about Santa and experiences “My First Depression“. Concertina punk is a comical contrast to the Life’s Unfair lesson. So, hee hee ohhh.

Big Screen: Vacationing

To recap that National Lampoon sequel, Positively Pat Sims uses AI to power up “A Griswold Christmas (Vacation)“. Easy listening pop sashays all over the place.

Bacio wonders “If These Walls Could Talk (A Behest of the Griswold Christmas House)” with twinkly country. Sympathetic.

Letters to Ash puts the punk to “Clark Griswold Saved Christmas“. It seems to look for the happy ending, but it is what it is. Not sure if that’s a BLUE ALERT or not.

Heath Not Keith also punks out to “A Griswold Christmas“. Snide, yet a bit antic.

Big Screen: Candlemas Talkies

“At Christmas Time” Dupree & co. watch movies and sip cocoa and all that in some bouncy R+B/rap. Sweet vocal, swollen cliches.

PARIS The Prince used to love all those traditions but with the onset of “Frostbite” he’s taken a second, R+B pop look at y’all. It’s not yule, it’s him.

Movies playing on repeat is what “Mistletoe Love” means to Ryan Rane and Noah Strykes. Brothers creeping on you with pop folk is not how i wanna go.

“I’ve Got You, You’ve Got Me (Merry Christmas)” is some fine punk caroling from Ordersixty-six. Their movie tradition is Die Hard one two but not three. Santa outro. Well done.

“Truth will always be truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance”-W.C.S.

Again: Jack Douglass returns with the definitive gainsay “Santa Ain’t Real (So Grow the Hell Up).” Popsy dopsy, but this time tweaked beyond belief.

Blake Foster & The LTF Nonbelievers try to Dylanize the sentiment with their “Santa Claus Ain’t Real.” Seems cuter this way.

The Damned play with the words in their punk “There Ain’t No Sanity Claus.” Wasn’t that a Marx Brothers bit?

Rousing Christmas

Remember 2021 when i posted “On This Beautiful Christmas Day” when Tiny Dancer begs to stay in bed? Big Eazy offers to smack ‘im upside the head to get the sluggard about. Classy kidsong rock that bears repeating.

Sliding from lullaby into alarm clock settings, “Wake Me on Christmas” is Christmas Kids Cottage slinging country pop and pretty harmony into utility.

Eraserheads solve the problem by hollering punk “Rise and Shine” so that everybody will shag shag shag. (And get presents, too?)

LITTLE Stocking

Size matters with gifts and stockings and nuclear attacks….

“(Christmas Greeting) Little Christmas Stocking” is the subject and the addressee of this bossa nova skit by The Rupars. Easy listening with high hopes.

Heck let’s just randomize the tunes; so what about this Dan Allaby brass scatter-plot: “Christmas Stocking“? What’s this neo-jazz nonsense all about?

Who gets a little stocking? You do! Yes, you do! “My Dog & Me on Christmas” is uke pop fun from Leslie Mosier. (The little stocking is for the little dog. You got that, right?)

Punk doesn’t truck in no stinkin’ stockings. “I Wear My Leather Jacket at Christmas” is about all Department of Creative Affairs cares about. Yeah, okay, it’s not ABOUT stockings. But we needed an angry UK tune that mentioned them.

Look at Me, Everybody, See Who I Am–S.C.!

Launch Kontrol might overenunciate for the genre, but “My Name Is Santa and I’m a Punk Rocker” sells it. He’s like the glamdad you never had.

Third Earth’s “My Name is Santa Claus” adds some hand clapping jug band to pop rock, which results in twisty fun.

Robert McCormick’s “I’m Santa Claus” begins with a ‘Silver Bells’ accusation, but finally rolls into a full confession. Odd.

Johnny & The Raindrops list out the chores aspirationally in the retro rock “There are Lots of Things to Do When You’re a Santa.” Almost not worth it.

Pom Pom Squad’s deliciously camp over amped punk “Hello Santa Claus” introduces old 12/25 as a partier (And I don’t give presents to cops!). Tune in!

Bitch, I’m Santa

Lil Kringle gently brings the rap with “Bitch I’m Santa.” He’s not mad, he’s just Santa.

PMP SLIM R+Bs his rap with his “Bitch I’m Santa.” Some rules, but–chill. ‘Kay?

Wyatt Pirtle’s “Bitch I’m Santa” is more offensive, but kiddie style rap. No Blue.

“Bitch I’m Santa” by Leekjaymusic is more misogynistic rap. Original style.

PIG PEN goes metal/punk with the rude-ass “I’m Santa Claus (And I’m Bangin’ Your Mom).” Adult situations, but no actual blue alert language. Did you see ’em?

Mr. Bowl of Jelly

Worth repeating: Fathead’s “Santa’s Drunk” celebrates as much as it chastises with some Motown blues. Danceable.

Greg & Brian take the POV of some assembly line elf who goes “Drinkin’ with Santa.” Daredevil hi jinx ensue in this honky tonking pop mess.

John Vosel & the Party Crashers also represent the elf contingent with the catch-all complaint “Santa Claus Blues.” It deals with bad gifts, drunkenness, and perversity. But it’s the blues. Whaddya goin’ ta do?

BearRon spins “An Unbelievable Santa Story” through gentle folk spoken word meandering. Yet this dream-like traipsing only begins with a drunken Santa (probably fake). Where it goes is pure enlightenment.

Brock Armstrong parodies Avril Lavigne with “A Complicated Christmas.” It’s a bitchfest against S.C. (Drink, smoke, cry!–wotta mess!)

The Missile Toads rage through punk about what a loser The Expected One has become. “Santa’s a Boozer” is the problem. Oi!