Category: rock

Roll On: Ann BLUE ALERT

Holy Hannah, the name ANN comes from that Hebrew! Yet we enjoy so many derivations like Anne, Anna, Anais, Anissa, Annalise, Annika, Anya, Annabel… and more! that i have to take these on here.

“Annabel” by 4:44 is a New Age folk pop of the three foot tall angel here. He’s freaking out, kid!

The Reverend’s Allstars bring military marching precision to the pop “Snowflakes falling” about Lady Ann and Billy’s dad snowman making and carol singing. Hey!

More fun, “Anne’s Christmas Punch” by Again Is Already favors the bass backbeat and spikes the dance moves. That punch won’t discriminate.

“I’m a Little Christmas Cracker” returns, covered by The East Flamingo Big Band. Seems sister Ann gets a call out in the middle of this suggestive pop song, now with more jazz.

“Mall Santa” by Two Tree Hill (feat. Rose Kelso) mentions several mall mainstays, including Aunty Anne’s (pretzels). If it wasn’t so bizarrely polka and inappropriately horny, i wouldn’t include it here. But it is. [Unlike “The Mall Song” wherein Lec complain-raps and includes that eatery for the holidays… but, ugh.]

Emery takes a moment (or eight) to introduce us to childhood sweetie “Anne Marie“, who beat him at snowballs way back when. Bluegrass fueled hyper pop.

In “Merry COVID Christmas“, Phoeb (feat. Amateur Panda) misses family, including Aunt Anne and Uncle Jerry. The pain is tearstreaming, the guitar riffs are fairshredding. Tragic, man.

Danny Coltmoore advises “Don’t Cry Little Charlie” with some drawlin’ Southernisms. This folk–Irish really–wake ‘splains how the mama, Anna-Bell, went overseas to Hurt Locker, but someone made a mistake/Against bombs you know there is no cure. Awww, cute.

Pastor Kenny’s Classroom rock the block with the lesson “Don’t You Know It’s Christmas (Season #1 Theme) (Live Remix)”. Deets are shared about the Christmas Story, including Simeon and Anna (oldsters who knew what this baby portended). Lighters up!

ArtOfficial tOddio also mention the couple in the gentler AI-friendly “The Advent of the Greatest Gift (What If)“. The What Ifs here are rhetorical, so don’t strain yourself.

Poverty time! “Little Annie’s Christmas Wish” involves no orphans, but poor folk with no presents. The Oak Ridge Boys peddle their pone with artfully winsome harmony, but hard jerked tears.

Mike Bryant’s “Christmastime Annie” also struggles without resources. Is the adult sufferer more pitiable than the child? Listen to this ersatz country to find out. (Spoiler: she doesn’t make it.)

Loretta Lynn returns to educate us about actual country rock with “Country Christmas“. Despite the congregated family, only Aunt Annie Belle and Uncle Bill get named. Still quite a party.

Spinster school marm “Annie” is pressured by friends and superiors to find a man, especially at the Christmas party. But, she’s fine. She’s got her woman. Fast for folk from Fred Small.

One of her students might be “Jump-Rope Annie“, who asked for and used that sports gear for Christmas. Mr One gets AI country rock/pop for this portrait of a funny little lady.

“Elegy for Annie Maguire” from Uncut Pages spins a fragmentary tale of desperation and self harm from a ledge o’er the sea Xmas Eve. Folk pop with an unsettling mystical charm.

Old lady Amber Crowley entrusts her daughter, Little Annie, to help make a “Homemade Christmas“. An island makes this easy listening sway. Or maybe it’s the Parkinsons.

“ANNETTE” is a mother tribute by MIKE BRICKZ (feat. DJ AYE BLIZZ1). R+B gifting.

Bowling For Soup’s rocking “Annique Stole My Car” is Xmas only in tune. Gary and Erik get short shrift, possibly due to the trauma of grand theft auto. BLUE ALERT already.

Roll On: Andrew

Manly ANDREW derives for the Latinate ‘man’. It’s like naming your dog ‘Dog’.

Not so manly, “Andy, The Christmas Horse” by RLB Trek tries to supplant the reindeer and please the children. Kidsong doggerel, but not half-assed. Who wants a ride?

Andy and Angie get a Christmas surprise from off-to-war absent Daddy in a mysterious way. How? “Love Will Find a Way” or so sings Marilyn Oakley with weird falsetto country pop.

More grownup, Doctor Christmas countries the rock for “Same Bar Every Christmas“. Andy, Oscar, and JK are just some of the losers here and not with family.

“Andy’s Christmas” as sung by Corky Coreson is pretty raw. He’s on the streets mistaken for Santa by a loopy little girl passing by. Country ballad of the pathetic kind.

DJ Scott threw a demo onto Bandcamp entitled “Andy’s Smokin’ on Christmas“. Sounds like emerging indie.

Maisie Peters stages a “Holy Revival” around the holidays to slam the door on some Andrew. Indie breakup party. Have a better New Year, girl.

Surf Party, USA dropped a Xmas joke album almost a decade ago. As surfers, they competed mercilessly, dumping all over the least talented in a number of mentions. Begin with a hymnally harmonic “Merry Christmas, Andrew Berg (Intro)“, continue with the experimental psychedelia of “Andrew Berg Is an Elf Who Lives in My Stocking“, and end with the ukulele tribute “Merry Christmas, Andrew Berg (Outro)“.

Andrew (mistaken for Billy) is “Scheming with Santa” in Shmandarin’s messed genre rocker. Not sure the play here, but i’m all for it.

Roll On: Alan

ALAN is an immigrant name, a powerful invader what earned respect from the Romans way back when. BTW this is the old school spelling, all others are variants.

AI (FAIK BEATS) wrestles with original rock’n’roll renaming Santa Alan and warning “Don’t Mess With Alan’s Car“. Danceable.

Filthy Royalty (more AI) slows the rock into R+B with a mission to party and make it a “Filthy Christmas“. First, they gotta invite Alan. Drugs, drink, danger.

Frequenters to the blog remember John, Argyle, Holly, Hans, Ellis, and even Simon from the Christmas quadrilogy Die Hard–but GuyzNite’s “Die Hard” rocker refers to an Allen several times. Had to fact check, but Sgt. Powell’s first name was Al. Although not in half of these films, the song makes a point to miss him (and Xmas). Well done. Oh, and BLUE ALERT!!

aap [BLUE ALERT]

The Barefoot Man cries beer tears in the honky tonk “Let Me Wrap You In My Arms This Christmas“. You’re the only present that I want, Love. That sort of thing.

Dick Lieb lowers the volume with the plea “Let’s Share Christmas“. Jazz lounge whispering. Just you and me. Seems sincere, for now.

Adaline & Frederick pepper the pop with drawling cowlings so that “Let’s Stay Inside” doesn’t seem to be in a human language. Oh, take me, take me, take me on a sleigh ride. Call for backup.

Otis Gibbs plunks and plinks unto “Little Red Nose” a love call. His folk grass isn’t about Rudolph; seems you’ve got a similar thing in the middle of your face. But the only thing I want this year is you right here with me. That’s all, folks.

Morgan James inserts loads of brass into her country soul “Long As I Got You“. Me and my baby got other plans. almost too busy to sing this.

BLUE ALERT Confused strums along with the folk rock nonchalance of “All You Want For Christmas (Unmixed, Unmastered & Unloved)“. But the lyrics get snarly, angry, vindictive. Sorry, no love here. Some laughs, though.

yo’seff

Jill Johnson roams the vocal range with the slightly country/slightly jazz easy listening “I Want You for Christmas“.

Miss Rose & Her Rhythm Percolators sounds familiar when she sings “I Want You at Christmas“. But it’s a gender flip, and more ’20s than the last guys what done it. Big band with loads of strings.

Onionmaster (ft. A Starwar Betamax)’s “I Want You for Christmas” is remixed, filtered, sped up, and generally ruined for your listening displeasure. I dare you to listen (all the way through).

Jesse Belvin takes us back to when doo wop was no longer just blues, but on the way to rock and roll with “I Want You with Me Christmas“. Iconic.

No wonder then that six years later Big Dee Irvin and Little Eva’s “I Wish You a Merry Christmas” is much more pop rock and roll. Whoa oh baby. (Who you calling FAT?!)

ewe

“All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Doug Stone whines about lousy presents with a rockabilly twanging country rant. It’s a whole ‘nother thang.

“All I Want For Christmas is You” is Foghat complaining about Cadillacs and Stratocasters with acid burning ‘billy. He’s talkin’ ’bout you, you ,you.

Rocknroll Ranch dad rocks their “All I Want For Christmas is You”. Keep those toys with all that noise. (I suspect ulterior motives here.)

“All I Want for Christmas Is You” from Vince Vance & The Valiants is more diva ballideering, this time with symphonic rock. Appropriate for elevators everywhere.

“All I Want for Christmas Is You“, according to The 88, is an after school pop rock special with heavy messaging.

Go Where the Lonely Cocoa

Kristian Noel Pedersen’s “A Lonely Black Friday in Downtown Toronto” is a trip down bad memory mall, but with an interesting guitar line. I had fun.

MrMeowsickles (ft Flora Lin) belt out the pop “Lonely Christmas” with anger and violence. I had tinnitus.

The Olympics are missing their baby. So they only want a “Lonely Christmas Hide Away“. Motown obdurateness. I had a problem.

Good to return to The Rosebuds with their jazzy indie “Lonely Light“. Seems to be a flirtation. I had a moment.

Ken Rowell & The Baghdaddies bebop “Christmas Ain’t for the Lonely People” with 3/4 rocking pizzazz. I had a party.

You’ll Never Walk(in’ in a Winter Wonderland) Alone

Moonglows slow the doo woo to lament “Just a Lonely Christmas” 1953 was just that cool.

Mud’s “Lonely This Christmas” has been covered by many (‘cuz it sounds Elvis). Sean Jean & The LTF Carolers pick up the beat a little. More rockabilly thrashing. I dig Frank Hamilton‘s slow-mo approach. It’s like spoken word despair. But, then there’s the comedy Brit take: Pete Jones’s “Lonely This Christmas (Now I’m Getting Old)“. And the DJ mashup from Retrospec. Ouch.

More on this and “Lonely Christmas Call” happened on the blog before. Check it out.

Sylver returns us to moody, yet cheesy, pop with “Lonely X-Mas“. The causes: You’re not here with me. The cure: I can only wish that you were here. Case closed.

The Yule Logs retro rock “Christmas is Lonely (When You’re a Jew)” for obvious reasons. I mean, there’s nothing else to do.

SoliMary Man

BoroTone Music tries metal via AI with “Christmas in a Broken Home“. The loneliness here is palpable, if not physical.

AI jazz pop from Leon Mondschein, “Silent Rooms” attempts a pity ballad. Am i crazy, or is this persona?

The Cardoors twiddle twaddle with their low key indie “Christmas by Myself was Not in His Eyes“, a long story about waiting for Mr. Right. (Santa?)

Tony Driscoll and His Yuletide Warblers fool around with what ifs in the hard folk of “It’s Christmas (and I’m Lonely)“. Now i’m wondering, too.

Gary Strickland club rocks “CrackerJack” about losing that special someone. Not to worry, he’s hunky dory.

“There’s Plenty of Frankincense in the Sea”

Leroy Sanchez rolls all over octaves with his R+B lovelorn letter “It Ain’t Christmas Without You“. It’s a mating call of prodigious proportions.

Dr. BLT demonstrates how country can make “It Ain’t Christmas Without You” a real downer. More of a bar howl.

Desi and Cody apply cowboy blues to “It Just Ain’t Christmas Without You“. Now it’s a mopey singalong.

It’s “One Long, Silent Night” without you yowls Mike Bryant with rarefied honky tonk backgrounds. That’s a sad one.

Doug Stone croons country weakly bc he’s missing you so much. Like all the time. But especially “When December Comes Around“. Symphonic.

Retro rock transforms “It Just Can’t Be Christmas Without You” by Kung Fu Monkeys into a dance party game of maybes.