Old English was so badly pronounced that broad was said BRAD. Welsh decided it meant betrayer. My weird as dirt name book insists (due to alliteration, celebrity identification, and some guy the editors knew) this is the sort of person who’d forget your birthday. Okay.
TadWadMCt is really into “Big Bad Brad!” so he raps horribly about him (and about trying to burn down Santa’s sleigh). Preteen delight.
On the other hand, “Christmas Eve at Granny’s House” involves Tori, Brad, Deb, and Rojana. Cousins, amiright? But, imma hurtin’ for Brad songs so let’s let Betty Overstreet take it away with some folk easy listening.
‘Bout my favorite Brad reference happens to “Santa Claus. December 26.” See, Santa’s pooped out and wants to hang with his bro, who’s getting on his nerves pretty harshly. Tony Thaxton (ft. Matt Taylor) nail this lite rock.
Bobby is short for BOB which is short for Rob which is short for Robert, in short. [We are ignoring Dylan, Wills, Marley, Cratchit, and Squarepants here.]
One of my favorite Bob songs is Trout Fishing in America’s “Bob and Bob“, the identical snowflakes. Impossible you say? Folk kidsong.
Well, in “Tailgate Christmas” Bobby’s in red asking girls to sit on him. Tawdry country from Chance Hunter, Jeff Bialk,
With Bobby (and Jenny) shopped for, Riders in the Sky ask the family matriarch for what they want for themselves. “Just Put a Ribon in Your Hair” is slow jazz with an agenda. Square flirting.
Neighbors Bob and Betty add to the malaise in Robbie Williams’s “Yeah! It’s Christmas!” It’s big band bitchin’.
“christmas bob!” by Cally and Casey saves the uking day! I guess. I can’t make out much from this basement folk.
Time for some Motown and “Peace For Christmas (Remastered)“. Chuck Alden funks us the possibility, or at least to Bobby from Boston. Sounds like Bobby’s got sent to ‘Nam, gang. Let us pray.
The Weeklings use measured hep cat rockabilly to assure us everything’s gonna be okay “Christmas Day“. [‘Ceptin’ Bobby, who didn’t get no muffin.] Straight from the ‘fridge, dad.
Lard Dog & The Band of Shy retro rock their party with a boss tune, an alien blob, a Christmas platypus named Bobby (with his ‘not nog’), and a “Crangleberry Christmas Tree“. Awesome.
Holy Hannah, the name ANN comes from that Hebrew! Yet we enjoy so many derivations like Anne, Anna, Anais, Anissa, Annalise, Annika, Anya, Annabel… and more! that i have to take these on here.
“Annabel” by 4:44 is a New Age folk pop of the three foot tall angel here. He’s freaking out, kid!
The Reverend’s Allstars bring military marching precision to the pop “Snowflakes falling” about Lady Ann and Billy’s dad snowman making and carol singing. Hey!
More fun, “Anne’s Christmas Punch” by Again Is Already favors the bass backbeat and spikes the dance moves. That punch won’t discriminate.
“I’m a Little Christmas Cracker” returns, covered by The East Flamingo Big Band. Seems sister Ann gets a call out in the middle of this suggestive pop song, now with more jazz.
“Mall Santa” by Two Tree Hill (feat. Rose Kelso) mentions several mall mainstays, including Aunty Anne’s (pretzels). If it wasn’t so bizarrely polka and inappropriately horny, i wouldn’t include it here. But it is. [Unlike “The Mall Song” wherein Lec complain-raps and includes that eatery for the holidays… but, ugh.]
Emery takes a moment (or eight) to introduce us to childhood sweetie “Anne Marie“, who beat him at snowballs way back when. Bluegrass fueled hyper pop.
In “Merry COVID Christmas“, Phoeb (feat. Amateur Panda) misses family, including Aunt Anne and Uncle Jerry. The pain is tearstreaming, the guitar riffs are fairshredding. Tragic, man.
Danny Coltmoore advises “Don’t Cry Little Charlie” with some drawlin’ Southernisms. This folk–Irish really–wake ‘splains how the mama, Anna-Bell, went overseas to Hurt Locker, but someone made a mistake/Against bombs you know there is no cure. Awww, cute.
Pastor Kenny’s Classroom rock the block with the lesson “Don’t You Know It’s Christmas (Season #1 Theme) (Live Remix)”. Deets are shared about the Christmas Story, including Simeon and Anna (oldsters who knew what this baby portended). Lighters up!
ArtOfficial tOddio also mention the couple in the gentler AI-friendly “The Advent of the Greatest Gift (What If)“. The What Ifs here are rhetorical, so don’t strain yourself.
Poverty time! “Little Annie’s Christmas Wish” involves no orphans, but poor folk with no presents. The Oak Ridge Boys peddle their pone with artfully winsome harmony, but hard jerked tears.
Mike Bryant’s “Christmastime Annie” also struggles without resources. Is the adult sufferer more pitiable than the child? Listen to this ersatz country to find out. (Spoiler: she doesn’t make it.)
Loretta Lynn returns to educate us about actual country rock with “Country Christmas“. Despite the congregated family, only Aunt Annie Belle and Uncle Bill get named. Still quite a party.
Spinster school marm “Annie” is pressured by friends and superiors to find a man, especially at the Christmas party. But, she’s fine. She’s got her woman. Fast for folk from Fred Small.
One of her students might be “Jump-Rope Annie“, who asked for and used that sports gear for Christmas. Mr One gets AI country rock/pop for this portrait of a funny little lady.
“Elegy for Annie Maguire” from Uncut Pages spins a fragmentary tale of desperation and self harm from a ledge o’er the sea Xmas Eve. Folk pop with an unsettling mystical charm.
Old lady Amber Crowley entrusts her daughter, Little Annie, to help make a “Homemade Christmas“. An island makes this easy listening sway. Or maybe it’s the Parkinsons.
“ANNETTE” is a mother tribute by MIKE BRICKZ (feat. DJ AYE BLIZZ1). R+B gifting.
Bowling For Soup’s rocking “Annique Stole My Car” is Xmas only in tune. Gary and Erik get short shrift, possibly due to the trauma of grand theft auto. BLUE ALERT already.
Manly ANDREW derives for the Latinate ‘man‘. It’s like naming your dog ‘Dog’.
Not so manly, “Andy, The Christmas Horse” by RLB Trek tries to supplant the reindeer and please the children. Kidsong doggerel, but not half-assed. Who wants a ride?
Andy and Angie get a Christmas surprise from off-to-war absent Daddy in a mysterious way. How? “Love Will Find a Way” or so sings Marilyn Oakley with weird falsetto country pop.
More grownup, Doctor Christmas countries the rock for “Same Bar Every Christmas“. Andy, Oscar, and JK are just some of the losers here and not with family.
“Andy’s Christmas” as sung by Corky Coreson is pretty raw. He’s on the streets mistaken for Santa by a loopy little girl passing by. Country ballad of the pathetic kind.
ALAN is an immigrant name, a powerful invader what earned respect from the Romans way back when. BTW this is the old school spelling, all others are variants.
AI (FAIK BEATS) wrestles with original rock’n’roll renaming Santa Alan and warning “Don’t Mess With Alan’s Car“. Danceable.
Filthy Royalty (more AI) slows the rock into R+B with a mission to party and make it a “Filthy Christmas“. First, they gotta invite Alan. Drugs, drink, danger.
Frequenters to the blog remember John, Argyle, Holly, Hans, Ellis, and even Simon from the Christmas quadrilogy Die Hard–but GuyzNite’s “Die Hard” rocker refers to an Allen several times. Had to fact check, but Sgt. Powell’s first name was Al. Although not in half of these films, the song makes a point to miss him (and Xmas). Well done. Oh, and BLUE ALERT!!
Dick Lieb lowers the volume with the plea “Let’s Share Christmas“. Jazz lounge whispering. Just you and me. Seems sincere, for now.
Adaline & Frederick pepper the pop with drawling cowlings so that “Let’s Stay Inside” doesn’t seem to be in a human language. Oh, take me, take me, take me on a sleigh ride. Call for backup.
Otis Gibbs plunks and plinks unto “Little Red Nose” a love call. His folk grass isn’t about Rudolph; seems you’ve got a similar thing in the middle of your face. But the only thing I want this year is you right here with me. That’s all, folks.
Morgan James inserts loads of brass into her country soul “Long As I Got You“. Me and my baby got other plans. almost too busy to sing this.
Jill Johnson roams the vocal range with the slightly country/slightly jazz easy listening “I Want You for Christmas“.
Miss Rose & Her Rhythm Percolators sounds familiar when she sings “I Want You at Christmas“. But it’s a gender flip, and more ’20s than the last guys what done it. Big band with loads of strings.
Onionmaster (ft. A Starwar Betamax)’s “I Want You for Christmas” is remixed, filtered, sped up, and generally ruined for your listening displeasure. I dare you to listen (all the way through).
Jesse Belvin takes us back to when doo wop was no longer just blues, but on the way to rock and roll with “I Want You with Me Christmas“. Iconic.
No wonder then that six years later Big Dee Irvin and Little Eva’s “I Wish You a Merry Christmas” is much more pop rock and roll. Whoa oh baby. (Who you calling FAT?!)
“All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Doug Stone whines about lousy presents with a rockabilly twanging country rant. It’s a whole ‘nother thang.
“All I Want For Christmas is You” is Foghat complaining about Cadillacs and Stratocasters with acid burning ‘billy. He’s talkin’ ’bout you, you ,you.
Rocknroll Ranch dad rocks their “All I Want For Christmas is You”. Keep those toys with all that noise. (I suspect ulterior motives here.)
“All I Want for Christmas Is You” from Vince Vance & The Valiants is more diva ballideering, this time with symphonic rock. Appropriate for elevators everywhere.
Sylver returns us to moody, yet cheesy, pop with “Lonely X-Mas“. The causes: You’re not here with me. The cure: I can only wish that you were here. Case closed.
