Damn That Holiday: Hell.3

According to Tim, Xmas in NYC is “Christmas Hell.” Grinding alt-rock with a bit of a lisp.

Mr. Fist is pretty emphatic, and repetitive, for “Christmas in Hell,” a cacophony of pop music.

A new kind of Hell is Christmas “Without Colby.” Bar Dracul indies up the idea by admitting: Colby’s not my lover; He’s my favourite character on TV. And he’s written off. So no more Colby. (Animal Kingdom? I dunno.)

Tim Franklin has a frantic guitar rocker in “There’s No Christmas in Hell.” See, he’s damned and tormented forever. But he’s mostly upset about the title thing.

Damn That Holiday: Hell.2

Christopher Lee (the one you know) chews the scenery with “Jingle Hell.” Yeah it’s metal. (Not sure who’s singing the straight line.)

Metal more from Dr. Colossus. “This Christmas (Buy Me Bonestorm or Go to Hell!)” instructs us how to avoid the fiery place. Some Commandments may get grafittied over. (Not sure about The Simpsons allusion….)

It’s not going well when it’sChristmas in Hell.” This just in from Guesthouse with tinkly pop percussion.

Humblebrag offers that you should just go have a “Christmas in Hell.” Twisted mix of jazz band and punk and rock. A bit more of their critical judgments and i might just go. Leave Chupacabra out of it!

Damn That Holiday: Hell.1

Sardonic metal from Tiberius ProjecT warns about “Santa Claus in Hell.” There’ll be something a little different under your tree this year.

Wild Billy Childish & The Musicians Of The British Empire take ‘Merry Christmas Baby’ but, with the help of some funky blues, make it about the wrong you done. Why, it’s just a “Christmas Hell” now.

You might be full of comfort and joy, but for Pennywise it’s “Christmas in Hell.” Rollicking punk fun.

Crocodiles goes club rock with their kickin’ “Christmas in Hell.” Now that’s a party.

Damn That Holiday: Satan.10

Frank Steakman claims “Satan Made Up Christmas.” Amateur doodling on electronic equipment and improvised, unconfident wordage. But, he’s got a point.

Bleating Apocalypse metals “Christmas With Satan” like it’s a chore.

Cracking country from 2.3 Children. “Santa’s Just an Anagram for Satan.” They seem to lose their place half-way through, but boy howdy what a song.

Is that similar to Rick Springfield’s “Santa is an Anagram“? Hard rock no. Now that’s the devil’s music!

Damn That Holiday: Satan.7

BARDŁOG chants out “santa may be a satan” to a middling metal backdrop. So, you can make out the so-called lyrics. But i’m not sure you’ll cheer over that.

satanmas” by fun yunz is more yelling that’s not quite punk/metal. More fun for them than us.

Odd and amateurish, but antic–“What Would Satan Want for Christmas?” is the Hey Nunnie Nunnie! spoken/sung interactive kids-pop gospel answer. Involved. And a twist ending.

Satan’s Holiday Cheer” by Smee is the best of the amateur bunch with unplugged rock’n’roll and dreamlike whimsy.

X Files-mas: Zombies

There are as many people alive today as all who have died before. So, the return of the dead seems an even deal if they wanna get into it, yeah?

Zombies do the most damage wen they’re a surprise. Captain Ambivalent makes this point with jug band panache in his “Merry Christmas, Zombies!” It starts in the mall…. Amazed! (me)

Luke Smith is early on with the outbreak in his “Christmas Zombie Girlfriend.” A pop love ballad sees him sending her after you. Cute.

The Dollyrots take us through the infestation with the surprising “I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus.” Excellent story telling, with super cool rock.

Less helpful is the parody “Grandma Got Half Eaten by a Zombie” by Wretched Graverobber. Lots of metal to little effect. Yeah, that happened. (Not to mention–please don’t–“We Wish You a Zombie Christmas” from Mike Puccio. Yawn)

That opens the door for “Zombie Claus (Rob Zombie Dragula Parody).” Metal from Psychostick sticks the landing.

But now we have to deal with “Santa is a Zombie.” Indie playful with an edge from Surrounded by Werewolves.

More rote, the metal of “Tim the Christmas Zombie” seems to go through the motions. Dr. Scythe works hard for the humdrum though.

It takes a minute for “I Saw Zombies Eating Santa (Xmas No. 666 Hit)” to get metal. Strange Nocturnal thinks they’ve made a movie. But the result is all mood, no movement. Somewhat impressive.

More appropriately (given the heritage of the zombie), Brass Tax use a Caribbeat for their cinematic excursion “Zombie Christmas.”

Zombie Apocalypse Christmas” by Candy Head and Tim Lane is driving Brit pop rock with lightness to the grisliness.

Hopefully, “there won’t be any zombies on christmas” according to  rushmore beekeepers. This folk rambling spins what-ifs from here to there. Don’t spoil Christmas dinner by shooting everyone in the head, ‘kay?

Inca Jones diverges with “Christmas Eve is the Time for Zombie Albums.” The title is the lyrics on a loop, yet mytifine electronica.

Vista Blue rock those blues with “My Zombie Christmas Song.” Indie reflective with shotgun.

Kepi Ghoulie keeps it symbolic with his “Christmas on Zombie Island.” Folk rocks the agenda, you brain-dead consumers you.

More upbeat David Ritter lounge pops “White Zombie Christmas.” Run and hide! But with pep in your step, two three four….

Retro girl rock from TAME also resuscitates “Zombie Christmas.” Something dead and dull shall rise and dance!

Uh Ohs include Godzilla in their zombie Christmas apocalypse with the sweet folk pop of “Nobody Said.” If only somebody had said something, like on a TV show or something.

Emmy the Great and Tim Wheeler return us to the movie making with their “Zombie Christmas” masterpiece. Club rock with suspense.

X Files-mas: Werewolves

A medieval fear of wolves blended with fear of people who were up to no good. Both skulked and threatened at night when we were sleepy and vulnerable. So we thought.

Werewolves of Christmas” is a serviceable parody of ‘Werewolves of London.’ More poof than cheer here. Thanks go to The Wox.

Amateur exuberance from Matthew O’Donnell lights up “Werewolf Christmas.” Filking at its prime.

I Want a Werewolf (For Xmas)” by The Slingsby Hornets is possibly a ‘Hippopotamus’ parody. But it’s punked up enough that i would discourage lawsuits.

Clash of the Orchids mumble out “Werewolf at Christmas.” This spoken word/sung folky pop number looks out for Christopher. You should look out, too.

Timur and the Dime Museum metal out the rock with their “Werewolf Christmas.” Growls, roars, and howls punctuate the painful struggle the protagonist has with his change. Whoa-o-oo.

X File-mas: Kaiju

Godzilla may be King of Monsters, but those other guys need some screen time, too.

Not a fan of foreign verse, but give “Kaiju Christmas” by Radioactive Karaoke a chance. Ostensibly a Gojira song, this little band pop number brings a children’s glee to glee club.

Jimmie’s in the Basement celebrate when “It’s a Kaiju Christmas.” This retro electronic rock is the new ‘Monster Mash.’

The Radish Friends borrow a great one with “The Christmas Kaiju Cometh.” It’s the end of all good times. Groovy folk rock.

Make Like Monkeys are their usual cool retro rocksters when creating “Santis! The Christmas Kaiju.” Just because we can add giant claws, doesn’t mean we should…. [Not to mention their “King Kong for Christmas” as another of their cool monster musical mysteries. Fab, boys, simply fab.]

X Files-mas: Dragon

May have touched on Christmas dragons once before. Time to get to it for reals this time.

Dragons are just stories when it’s “Christmas in the Shire.” Brendan Dalton & The 1740 Boys Choir soft rock our merry hearth. Then there’s a wizard knocking at your door….

Frosty the Dragon” from PerCy Nevers clumsily mashes up ‘Puff’ and ‘Frosty.’ So doesn’t the new guy melt or not?

Fugli’s “Santa’s Got a Dragon” assesses the reindeer situation and finds them wanting. So, with a bit of metal, he rocks the turbo upgrade for sleigh deliveries.

On that note Mediera chants about the dragon mode of delivery in “Christmas In The Realm.” Pop metal.

Johnny & The Raindrops want something different for Xmas. “I’ve Got a Dragon” reveals the ups and the downs of a boy’s Xmas ask. Make a wish and blow out the house fire!

Retchfire the Christmas Dragon” from Mozart Rottweiler with Sinister Undertones twists the metal with synth reverb. Sure it sounds scary. But I can’t make it out.

Within Temptation’s “Gothic Christmas” aggrandizes ol’ St. Nick to the point where he’s slaying dragons. Cool. Retro pop.

Robby Grant wants to help Santa and the elves so he will summon and “Fly on Christmas Dragon” to get there lickety split. The welcome isn’t exactly warm, though. Prog rock with disco moments.