Make Like Monkeys are their usual cool retro rocksters when creating “Santis! The Christmas Kaiju.” Just because we can add giant claws, doesn’t mean we should…. [Not to mention their “King Kong for Christmas” as another of their cool monster musical mysteries. Fab, boys, simply fab.]
Bigfoot is the official cryptizoid mascot of the Pacific Northwest, the new bumper sticker craze. Ol’ Sasquatch is a symbol of lost wilderness and banished aboriginals, but we all pretend to root for him anyway around here. Merry Cold Times, Dude.
“Bigfoot Noel” from Streaking in Tongues is spoken poetry to set our sober yet melodic mood. Pretentiously pretty.
“Sasquatch is Coming to Town” is NOT a parody, but a Minnesotan country rocker from Bo Allen. This snowmobiling sack-carrying wookie is actually what brings the toys to good girls and boys. Believe. (But not in the last two minutes of credits and outtakes.)
Uncle Jess and The Rippers completely rock out the animals’ Christmas party somewhere in the woods made awesome by the dancer of the hour and his “Bigfoot’s Christmas Shoes.” Go, Bigfoot, go, go, go.
Just like the difference between typhoons and hurricanes, we own our giant hairy apeman identity here in the Western Hemisphere. But “Bigfoot and Christmas” seems set in The Alps (Yeti??). But, it’s about true love–so an honorary spot for Mark Perko’s folk trudge of a story. Caution: yodeling attempts.
Poor misunderstood shy guy! Cornpone novelty country from Jack Franzen tells how everyone suddenly understood this monster and so “Bigfoot Rides with Santa.” Problems with Act 3….
Christmas is based on mythology, whether you follow X-ianity or capitalism–it’s all faith based. Ya gotta believe. like Bigfoot hunters do. Like experiencers do. So let’s chew on some sunflower seeds and follow the were-rabbits down their hole (whilst of course overlooking the ordinary flying reindeer, singing snowmen, and furry green Christmas-stealers).
Like with Jell-o there’s always room for more (or at least there are antacids for after the glut). So let’s peep in on “Violent Vincent is Coming to Town,” a parody about a truly cute and grisly ET with a gun from Xploshi.
Abducted, Jessica Delfino endures “Christmas in Space.” Pop near-rap with falsetto about anal probes. Painful, but even aliens celebrate.
Literally Newt seem stuck in a rut when they electronically celebrate an “Alien Christmas” with aliens. Seems those things have their own observation. Who died for their sins?
Also judgy are the aliens in The Dusty Meadows Band’s “Christmas in Outerspace.” Electronic pop that warns of reindeer poop in space.
Tyler Del Pino & Rusty Robot want to spend “Christmas with Aliens” ‘cuz they don’t know what is. Apparently these rockers don’t appreciate our traditions of spend spend and spend. They want a new party.
CHRISTMAS CAT AND THE PUDDING PIRATESby married team Christopher Lillicrap & Jeanette Ranger is another kidmusical full of shouting and giggling. In a British way. On the SS Santa Claus the characters are colorful. The Captain checks in music hall fashion that everything is “Ship Shape.” Wot fun. “Myrtle the Beautiful Mermaid” is a siren song of fate and love. The old school R’n’R of “Pudding Rock” is a show stopper of enjoying the Christmas pudding. Danceable. The show degrades to treacle after that. No pudding thievery is sung about. Sorry.
Sometimes the ocean-going way is so seductive, it invades our carols without our faces filled with actual salt spray. These metaphors can be powerful.
Check out Carbon Leaf’s “Christmas at Sea.” C-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-S. O. S.: A boat afloat at sea; Row you to me–Christmas at sea. Charming indie about missing you.
Alkaline Trio headbands the punk of “Snake Oil Tanker” with observations like: This time you’ve dug yourself an anchor too heavy to move ahead with. It’s never felt colder at Christmas. So there. Bang.
The Spongetones bring an elegant classiness to their mixed metaphor poetry piano bar tune “There’s a Star.” Starts with a ship and a shore. There’s Christmas in there… Must be something about redemption.
A tight squeeze in this category “Christmas Time in Motor City” is dandy industrial rock (multi-media) from Was (Not Was). An ugly cityscape ends with the image: I sit and watch the traffic panic, it sails away, Look at this…It’s Christmas Day… Noice.
Mostly sailors an conscripted onto their floating death traps. Few do it as a lark, a look-see ’round the world. Doesn’t mean they can’t have a good time, but no one cares that they do.
Classic The Who explore the Cold War tensions with “Rael Pt.1 and Pt. 2.” In this rock opera, China threatens Israel with naval might. Now Captain, listen to my instructions:Return to this spot on Christmas Day, Look toward the shore for my signal. Will it be war? Townsend never finished this….
In Doug Stone’s hokey country “Sailing Home for Christmas” the troops are headed to a foreign shore. They’ll be home ONLY in their dreams. Psych! (Which war? You decide!)
Little Red Ambulance’s “Sailing Home for Christmas” rocks pop in a responsible way. Besides which the sailors have been gone for seven months and are honestly homeward bound in time for the holidays. Celebratory.
R – Dot uses the metaphors like a rapper in his “Christmas Lap Dance.” He asks, he gets, but the rules are clear: Ima′ let her drive the boat but I′m the captain! Naughty Xmas.
Daniel Silverman has only one item on “My Christmas Wish“: you. But this amateur nasal rocking is boyishly charming in its earnestness. Sail away with him girl.
Ronson Kwan’s “Christmas in July” is more studio sophisticated, but its slickness is suspicious. It’s Autumn, it’s Christmas, it’s July… As I sail across the sea of summer days I search the space, the empty arid sky For the memory of autumn rain. Could be love… Poets and madmen, am i right? Pretty indie pop.
The Waitresses made a novelty splash in the early ’80s with “Christmas Wrapping,” which is as hip hop as ‘The Star Spangled Banner.’ But this missed cute couple don’t go out to lunch, or meet at his boat, or trick-or-treat together. The seasons pass until they are fated to cross paths at Christmas. Jazzy club rock.