TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Preposition Proposition

Trysts happen when Christmas trees set the mood. But –where?!

Only a million kisses are what Chris Thompson needs R+B style for “Under Our Christmas Tree.” And your heart, too.

Better rockabilly, if a touch much distortion, from Woodsy Pride finding what you want “Beneath the Christmas Tree.” Bring your little sleigh bells over here and you’ll get sumfin.

Billy Fairfield rolls the Louisiana blues all over you “Kissin’ and Huggin’ (Underneath the Christmas Tree).” He digs your lips, baby.

Kelly Clarkson is going to hold you “Underneath the Christmas Tree.” But she might pop you out of her arms, or your eardrums out of your head.

Conky pop from Iza who wants YOU “Under My Christmas Tree.” She wants you to be by her side… wait, where’s the tree in all this?

The Lilac Leaf has no place to rather be than “Under a Christmas Tree with You.” Orchestrated pop.

The Braxtons (incl. Michael) seem to rephrase hip hop to smooth jazz wanting her to be “Under My Christmas Tree.” Hunh, that’s so stodgy.

Take a breath. Bruce Bell-Myers sings about “Gifts (Underneath the Christmas Tree)” as a folk pro forma. But, as his wife is a recent cancer survivor, he only wants you. Harshed the buzz, but won the heart.

Bob Gulley serenades you to put/find love “Under the Christmas Tree.” That’s right, it’s from the 1991 TV movie ‘all i want for Christmas.’ Time flies when you’re listening to chimey pop with children choruses.

Don’t forget the Motown R+B! Curtis Turrentine Jr and Marvin Reed may get gifts for the unfortunate, but–for you, dear–“I’ll be Under the Tree Tonight.” No returns, baby.

Down and dirty folk from Dr. BLT finds “Love Underneath My Christmas Tree.” Chicka bowwow.

Sonny Landrth (feat. The DixieCups) swamp the blues with “Got to Get You Under My Tree.” Get the picture?

Sweet Christmas! cookies 6

Okay, time for the plateful sampler of Christmas cookies.

Rap loves to infantilize with its pacifiers, saggy britches, and flaunted hedonism, so here’s a rash of hip hop Xmas ladyfingers: Wazo and The Elf achieve a lovely balance of kids’ song and dub step with “Santa’s Chewing on My Cookies.” This needs to be on a Disney album for pre-teens, stat. Suburban family style rap from Accordian Hank and Jonny V cuts up “Hot Christmas Cookies” with more bounce and modulated fun than it should. It’s Glee-ful. Buckwheat Boyz run a bit OG with “Milk and Cookies.” The G is for general audiences; this is family fun.

Playing on the Motown emotions Mr. Phill Wade may not mean “Milk and Cookies” like the other songs mean. This may be R-rated if you listen too carefully, despite the oblique Christmas reference. Make him wait ’til you’re ready, girl! Another branch of Motown RuPaul doo wops “Christmas Cookies” from her lovin’ oven. It’s just as suggestive. Not ’til you’re ready, boys!

If you unscrew that Oreo you’ll find the overweight folk of Keith Mendelsohn’s “Christmas Cookies.” The man can noodle out a warm aroma with his twinkling words.

Lady-style, Amanda Duncan leads the girl-troupe with “Christmas Cookies” like the Andrew Sisters. It’s old fashioned but attractive, in a sexy gramma way.

As usual we’re leading to rock. All musical styling leads to rock. So let’s end up with rockabilly. The Rockin Elfs bubomp “Christmas Cookies” with a little too much kid slant and enumeration.  Spine bending ‘billy comes from G Love with his “Christmas Cookies.” This, fittingly revues all the sweets of this past month into one danceable carol. Swing those bars!

Laissez les bon temps roulez with a zydeco spin as “Santa Stole My Christmas Cookies” steals your feet further and Travis Matte reminds you why cajuns rock the house up on stilts (cuz of the swamp) more than elvisinators.

Sweet Christmas! chocolate


Chocolate is a year ’round consideration and has no particular hold on the holidays. I’ve already noted young Charlie Trotter and “The Chocolate Christmas Song” taking a bite out of church. Teehee.

And not to get divisive, but i’ve also already alluded to Smooth – E with “Chocolate Coins” for that OTHER holiday. It’s their currency. (We could mention The Kiboomers with “Sweet Hanukkah Gelt” to ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.’ But we shouldn’t.) (Nor should we include Robot Chicken‘s “Hanukkah Gelt Rap” either.)

Devonly Voices also uses their devotional time to praise “All I Want for Christmas is a Box of Chocolates.” It’s all good harmony fun until someone loses a foot to diabetes.

Many kids are prodded into singing for their beans. Shera and Luke bring home their elementary school recital “I Want Chocolate in My Stocking for Christmas” and duo it for us. Good timing. Cute outfits. They seem nice.

Scottish teens noodling in the rumpus room claim to be Sexual Chocolate (the band) singing “Chocolate Christmas.” One feller seems to be playing the lighter. But they do soft rock crack themselves up. Good for’m.

More UK frolicsomeness from Happy Slappy Surprises. “Tastes Like Chocolate Christmas Spirit” celebrates all Xmas saccharine bits. But chocolate resonates resolutely with their jolly britrock rounds. And it only sounds like it’ll never end….

Trout Fishing brings big choco-joy with “Chocolate Christmas.” This wails, rocks, jives, and enrobes with runny brown yumminess. Got milk?

Manger Management: Mixed Mammal Bag

We’ll get to the puppies, kitties, and cows in a bit. Let’s lump together the odds and ends of furry critters here.

Although the Red Cross loves ’em, i find Christmas seals daunting–they could drown ya or freeze ya. But Liz Anderson, The Fairy Grandmother, walks you through their features (strengths and shortcomings) in “Christopher the Christmas Seal“–even their flappers!

Honey Jean Bunch retros up the ante with “Whitey the Christmas Seal.” Tippetty tappety flippety flappety… try not to get all childlike with this drugged out tune.

Kristen Burkholder giggles through “Bunny Christmas Song” at some down home talent show. We all we wish we had close warm home holidays like we imagine rabbit families having.

If you’re not clear how cool the bunnies are then listen how “Rabbits Have a Christmas” by Linn Sheldon (a b-side from 1958… missed it before).

Based on the Teri Sloat children’s book Suzy Arnowitz again nails it with “Hark the Aarvark Angels Sing” –apparently to make sure your Christmas card is delivered on time. ‘Cause they alphabetize so well, you know, being first in the dictionary, and like that.


Another late addition! Bah & The Humbugs have crafted a crawling, scratching rocker: “Here Comes Skunky Claws.” Smell that stocking!


The Presidents of the United States of America have a fun alt rock time introducing us to “Christmas Piglet.” Who’s a cute swine?

What’s that crawling out of the canal! Benny Grunch & the Bunch get a little Zydeco with a new holiday mascot suggestion: “Norris the Nocturnal Nutria.” Cool… and eww.

State Thirty-One: Louisiana

What a bounty of delicious delta delights. LA knows how to make merry.
Everyone knows the man with the tenor: Aaron Neville and “Louisiana Christmas Day” (one o’ my albums lists it as “Louisiana Christmas Carol”). No need to document the rolickin’ good time here. (Or mention the covers by boy-wonder Hunter Hayes and girl-duo B’tweenz–what is it about this catchy bit of ethnic fun that brings out the children to audition?)
Johnnie Allen does a fine cajun “It’s Christmas Time in Louisiana” all in creole–that’s a spicy patois! Vin Bruce also has a “Christmas on the Bayou” in Papa Noel’s native tongue. For Anglaise, check out Michael McDonald’s “Christmas on the Bayou.” This music is like triple espressos getting your heart hammering!
Fellowship Church Zachary brings us Roger Hornsby’s “Louisiana Christmas Time” on the ‘tube. It’s a tasty slice of holiday homecoming that gets the congregation chucklin’ and swayin’ with its message of fun and family. The man’s a Deep South Garrison Keillor. Uhhh, I mean that in a good way.
When you’re overwrought from all that dancing like Wise Men are watching, mellow down with Louis Armstrong’s “Christmas Time in New Orleans.” It’s smooth jazz, if a bit somnolent. (John Lee Sanders, James Andrews, and Joan Osborne [hers is the sexy one] float that flat boat, too.)
I can’t leave the Pelican State without a salute to one of my faves: Benny Grunch. He celebrates Another dialect of American English from around New Orleans apellated Yat (disputed). His album (with The Bunch) The 12 Yats of Christmas is a must have for Yule regionalists. In our present context, I must praise most highly “O Little Town of Destrehan”
and “Christmas in Chalmette.”
Don’t expect to understand the lyrics, but roll with it, y’all.
After all this festivity, I will tell you my pick of the state is “Louisiana Santa” by Wayne Toups off the wonderful compilation Christmas Gumbo. Toups is King of Cajun Singers, decorated with more awards for that kind of thing than any of those other gator caterwaulers. Love the tune, love the backup, love Toups’s Santa beard. I mean it’s about time we had some Santa.