Yo Ho Ho Ho-The Queen Annes’s Revenge

The Radish Friends shout in the basement for the serious swerve on ‘Three Ships’ filled with buccaneer jargon in “I Saw Three (Pirate) Ships.” At least they‘re having fun.

I Saw Three Pirate Ships” by BellaZen Electric is a sweet mashup of ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and that old carol. It’s instrumental, but masterful. And i loves that Hans Zimmer power.

Baby It’s Coal: the opera

A ’90s gang of Philly musicians joined warped minds to skewer Christmas music. They took a while to rise above door-to-door cassette sales, but i highly recommend you lay your hands on whatever Hot Buttered Elves released, regardless of roster.

Coal” is their 11 minute opus (apparently in several parts) about the ins and outs of striking black rock for the holidays. At times instrumental (haunted symphonic) at others experimental club (haunting beat poetry). Grab a cup o’ joe and settle back for this one. It’ll take you places you never dreamt. See you on the other side.

As Seen on TV: themes

Most TV shows have music, opening themes often included whole songs (until Lost ruined it for television musicologists everywhere). At times, feeling puckish with their funds, shows have had special holiday openings which spoofed their own music. These may exist in the hundreds. I have a few.

The Rugrats Christmas Theme” doesn’t sound much like their opener, but it’s polka fun.

Dora the Explorer Christmas Theme” also reeks of bells, not much castanets. Love the samba in the original.

It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! Theme” sounds more like their music, and we’ll get to that special later. Lots of songs!

3rd Rock from the Sun Christmas Theme” sounds very like their original, with a slight twist.

Ditto with “That ’70s Show Christmas Theme” which only jingles some bells.

Bear McCreary’s carol-sized minimalist intro for “Eureka Christmas Theme” goes all out, for about ten seconds. Thanks, Bear, now go count your Galactica residuals.