Category: Childrens

As itch is to agony, angst is to depression. But it’s all troubled waters for our planet these moments. Ride the jitters.

“I Won’t Let Crippling Anxiety Ruin My Christmas!” hollers Ryan Hill over and over for this jazzy indie anthem. Well, my morning affirmations are a little different than that, but–okay.

Glad to relisten to “Ghosts of Christmas” by TV’s Kyle. Anxiety is the haunt in this pop hand-clapper.

SpongeBob SquarePants retro rocks “Christmas Eve Jitters” so you can dance to it. The peepee dance might be most appropriate.

Concave Onion goes for the verisimilitude in “It’s a Wonderful Death“, a metal-edged so-called song about the trials of the holidays. Feels like a growing panic attack.

Lex Friedman celebrates the annual “Tension Headache Christmas” with toy piano noise and percussive kidpop. Migraine, your grain–what’s the diff? Time to drink!

Robbie Toons also transmits a skull busting ‘Carol of the Bells’ take that repeats “Christmas Anxiety” to get you in the mood to droop.

NoMoore’s “Angsty Christmas” is more homegrown, less funny, but all indie mash up (indie into indie).

Dr.Tatsiana Kukla offers advice (in more than one language) for “Christmas Anxiety“. It’s assuring, centering, and whispery indie.

AI to the rescue! “My Anxiety” by Rowdy Beck includes R+B breakdowns and cures. The lyrics are saying Give Up, but the notes are saying What’s Up?

Further AI sets up the symptoms in a light country ballad “Christmas Anxiety Relief Song“. Then via pop psychology tells us It’s OK, You’re Not Alone, Let Healing Begin, blah blah blah.

Whining is not usually a symptom of “Christmas Anxiety“, so when Wyatt HilloBerries makes half rap/half blues moans, i disbelieve in his diagnosis.

GUM! specializes our disability with “Christmas Party Anxiety“. Nice salsa beat to this pop whizzo.

From TV Funhouse comes “Tingles the Christmas Tension“, an easy listening pop reminder to all kids that adults are inappropriate, insensitive, intolerant, and racist. But they hate themselves, so forgive and regret.

Useta be ya hadda gun down the goose to have a holiday feast. Now you’ve got to fight the lines at Whole Foods. Or, if you’re in a romcom, mis-thaw the bird and undercook our expectations. LAUGH! Let’s get to the killing.

Now you might expect some ‘comedy’ like the “Christmas Hunting Song” by Anthony Petaccio. It’s ‘Rudolph’ with rifles.

Yes, there’s “Deer Hunting Song (Christmas Time Is Here)” where Joe Woznicki can actually sing to the karaoke machine. A bit eerie–

But there’s also slurred original country like Styles Haury drawling out “Huntin’ Rudolph“. It was only one arrow. Santa got mad. You know the drill.

Let’s take a moment to go overboard with A Fisherman’s Christmas Carols, a specialty parodists album from the North Pole Fisherman’s Association. Zydeco and bluegrass vie for country dominance over the smell and mess.

But then there’s the horror of “Santa Claus is Hunting You Down“, partly from the threat but also because of how Marc Grossman phones in the parody.

Back to the children: Jenny overuses AI for the kidsong “Going on A Christmas Hunt“. It’s like Where’s Waldo, but for snowflakes.

“Christmas Gift Hunting” by Paul Onufrey is clumsy kidsong with a heart. Beats AI for me. Be the gift-giving boss!

Time for the big game. Nun (נ) is highest, then Gimmel (ג), Hey (ה), and Shin is last (ש). Got it? Not until you get a little clay….

More advanced rules are given by Richard Squires in his brief folk “Dreidel Game Song“. But how do i get a Yahtzee?

In “The Dreydl Song” by The Klezmer Conservatory Band, the commandment is given to make this gateway to gambling. Very very klezmer.

The Oxford commas interrupt the actual “Dreidel Song” to interpret what we’re getting into here. By way of introduction.

Official scorekeeping from Steve Goodie & Brad Tassell give a “Twist of the Dreidel” with funky pop. The dark side is acknowledged.

Kosher Slaughterhouse spins the metal for their “Heavy Dreidel.” Admissions of manufacture are made.

Brigid Kaelin’s “Blue Dreidel No. 9” is yodeling masterpiece of finding that dreidel… and that’s how it came to be. Blues grass.

The Itche Kadoozy Show featured a confused intro, “The Hanukkah Dreidel Song“, as a selling point or two. It’s the best game in the world. Bouncy kidsong folk.

Children’s capacity for play is seemingly endless. So it would be for you, if you could only spectate everyone else getting to Do stuff. These poor, powerless preschoolers need something to make time go by, especially during Xmas.

In “Let The Children Play (Christmas song)” by Tony Brown (sapptube52) pretense is the game. For God. For Santa. For space travel. It’s some weird kidsong.

Prog rock skeeved into pop makes “The Children Play” from Flip Damon a mystical journey from school to home for the holiday break. What’s going on here?

Kids just running around outside inspires Carole Kuck into “Dreaming of Christmas”. This piano recital pop is nostalgic and sweet. No actual games get dropped, however.

Youth on Track likes to play a game with his stocking and another with the chimney in the thrasher “Christmas Time is My Favorite Time“. Imaginative.

Chad Ackerman startles the lineup with a BLUE ALERT comment on the actual Christmas game for kids: good = gifts. “Fuckin’ Christmas Time” says it all with a jazz beaten pop melody (and falsetto!).

“Seesaw (For Christmas)” starts out as a wonderful tale from Thrice a Chuckle. Then it gets tall. Spoken word.

The String Beans play “Santa Says“–and so can you! Follow along with this authoritarian announcer and keep score. Or… squid games.

I swear i’ll play Cattan with you in just a minute, right now i’m just so eggnog busy…! Surely That Time of the Year is not conducive to Canasta, or even Hide and Seek. But can’t we be more Semitic and sit and spend family time with a Gee-Ay-Em-Ee? For the next month i’ll pick over the few and far between Xmas songs about pastimes whether they be childish, or dreidel, or even the bowl games. Roll the dice and take a turn!

The games you already know about certainly include Reindeer Games, like in that song. So let’s start with prep in the form of “To the Reindeer Games“, kidsong by Lloyd, Debby Lytton Rudolph from some animated movie.

Next some AI from BitSonix, a country drawling “The Other Reindeer Games“. It’s a bit of a redneck introduction for Rudolph. Cousins KISSING! Run!!

Rudolph gets into the swing of the country come on with his own “Reindeer Games” when Austin Bohannon sings it. What a playa.

The “Reindeer Games” by Mindforge Music is more singles’ mixings with AI country playfulness. PG naughtiness.

2Bad DadZ’s “Reindeer Games” may be merely Rudolph’s story rapped out, but it plays well with others.

Freddy Prince Krueger over modulates the pop idea that “Reindeer Games” are just so much nonsense. Reverb reverb reverb reverb.

The String Beans recall that “Reindeer Rodeo” thing we covered a couple years ago. Soft rock kidsong with great commentary.

Yeah, the kids step up for grammas everywhere.

“The First United Methodist Church Annual Christmas Play” is one of those ’70s throwbacks in which a rural story gets the moral CW treatment. Brian Kinder jerks the tears with this shaggy dog.

The Patrick Brothers go even lower with their “The Christmas Play.” All sentiment, no sense of humor. Country whining.

From an actual assembly piece from Emily Crocker, “The Star of the Christmas Play” is NOT an angel this time. Aspirational kidsong, with a novel twist.

In order to force the family to be among one another this time of year, wee ones often get shoehorned into assemblies about the Nativity. Yes, you DO have to go see your brother be a donkey. Yes, it will probably be a disaster.

The Fallen Angel Choir so their civic pride to invite all y’all to the show, any show, in their fast a cappella take on “Joy to the World.”

“The Angel in the Christmas Play” was a bit-o-fun from the ‘forties about a hellion performing for the school. I knew this from Spike Jones (George Rock vocals), but i guess Gayla Peevey got ahold of it a decade later. Then i saw an old videotape of The Carpenters (w/Kristy McNichol) from a TV special. Good God.

Bunch of Believers apply the ska when they’re “Puttin’ on a Play.” Colorful, but a bit of a success.

“It’s the Christmas Play” and it all goes to pot, at least when John Farrell sings about that one time. Kidsong with a very slight edge.