Category: Childrens

From an obscure theme to an idea that knows no bounds… We’ll bid a frond farewell to Xmas hairdos to celebrations of Santa Claus in general. I’m not too interested in sharing hundreds or thousands of novelty songs about the big guy for April, so let’s focus on pretty good stuff.

We’ll start with the basics. Balderdash & Humbug introduce our hero with “Bella Gusta Santa Claus,” a parody of the Italia-Americano persuasion.

Description continues with Buck Owens and his country rock twangin’ “Here Comes Santa Claus Again.” He sounds nice.

More askew, Haschel Cedricson’s “Ballad of Santa Claus” explains and exalts the big boss of the North Pole. Banjo folk.

“The Man with All the Toys” is a fine Beach Boys bit of surf rock. They’re young, it’s clever, and bops liven it up.

Kids’ stuff from the ’50s seems to add social commentary to “Tinker Town Santa Claus.” I’m not sure why these folks sound funny, but Santa delivers nonetheless. According to The Cricketones.

Take it off, Santa! Take it all off!

And yet, shaving isn’t just for Ol’ Nick. Ren and Stimpy (John Kricfalusi, Billy West) return for their hair rock tribute to “Yak Shaving Day,” a truly tasteless ritualistic celebration. (That Nickelodeon cartoon’s Christmas corruptions involved hair in other ways: “Cat Hairballs“–a caroldy present alternative; and “We Wish You a Hairy Chestwig“–another caroldy about the preferred present for manly men who lack.)

The Nobility is indie hollering about how “Santa Shaved His Beard.” Into the stocking! Game Over, man!

Mighty Magic Pants kidsongs about the peripeteia when “Santa Shaved His Beard.” It’s traumatizing for the reindeer, elves, and impersonators.

Lachlan MacLeod is greener ‘n the Grinch over “Santa’s Gnarly Beard.” Ukulele indie idolatry for Mr. C’s white stuff.

“Santa’s Beard” by Keith Pendergrast is hard folk kidsong about some psychedelic episode some kid had with worms, a Coke, and a cat. If it were just animals each day for 12 days, i might get it. But this nightmare (of what’s UNDER the jolly one’s chin) is no joke.

Christopher Smith’s kidsong takes us on an adventure through “Santa’s Beard.” The treasures in that mess (and i don’t mean last night’s dinner)! Some fun.

More activity in darker days means one thing: lack of Vitamin D! And, erm, well, also accidents. Often featuring Mr. Christmas himself.

Short and hilarious is “Christmas at the Bottom of a Well” by The Light. Listen and see.

Tom Dyer sadly relates Doober’s ailments after returning from WWII. As a mall Santa much later, he’s hardly whole. But “It’s a White Mule Christmas,” so some fun jug band bluegrass.

Just as countrified, Dave Rudolf makes light of ‘Go Tell It’ with “Bo Fell Off the Mountain.” Those good ol’ boys… spooked by a squirrel!

Some mishaps are worse than others. StarFish remembers when “Santa Split His Pants.” How bad is that??? Mocking children’s music.

Just a couple more bad-mouthed carols.

BLUE ALERT! latewaves is mad as hell and still gonna take it while rocking “Hungover for Christmas.” So Merry Goddam Christmas….

MattstaGraham hits the garage with wishes of a Merry Goddam Christmas in the head banging “I Can’t Keep Up with the Holidays.” BLUE ALERT Good save on that last note.

I’ll be damned If I let another Christmas Go to waste laments Jon Bakke over “This Christmas.” Just a touch of Celtic to liven the pop epiphany here.

Dave Sweeney and the Kickin’ Mules tweak kidsong with some pop backbeat and bitch about waiting all damned year for a “Christmas Cookie.” To your room while I get the soap!

Making with the kid assembly song, Maynard Music brings us a kids’ choir proclaiming “A Pirate Christmas.” Band music, but short.

Pirates love Christmas, according to Tiny Tots. Yet, Santa seems ignorant of delivering gifts at sea. He’s got a prejudice that these freebooters were bad. But what about their children?? Who’s the villain now?! For an answer, try “Pirates Christmas Day,” a folk/easy listening tale as old as the briny deep.

Knight_Legend22 posts another collection of “Pirate Christmas Carols.” Well done musically. Not the funniest. Did like the line: a Santa’s life for me.

David Rovics fires up the kidsong to recall how Santa dealt with an economic collapse by becoming “Pirate Santa.” Man’s gotta treat, and without bounty–that won’t sail. Clever and well done.

Beer Bucket Social punk posits “If Santa Was A Pirate” perhaps so they’ll not run out of beer. Light-hearted fun.

At times i am impressed with the talent Disney throws money at. Sure, they’re a money printing machine and it’s all by formula, but the pop rock of Jake and the Never Land Pirates chortling “Yo Ho Holidays” goes down kid friendlily.

Does Santa have a pirate designation? According to School District 49 it’s ‘Mad Jackson.’ But i’m not feeling it.

Don’t forget Patchy the Pirate who introduces ‘SpongeBob SquarePants.’ He also introduces the Christmas special. With the theme song, and ‘Christmas!’ shouted at the end.

Parry Gripp’s triumphant return to our blog features funny voices, pop music, and rap, so… not my favorite–sorry. “Pirate Santa Claus” is a reformed plunderer, teaching kids important lessons. Yawn.