Most Christmas plays illustrate Bible stories for the masses, like they did nearly a millennium ago. We tend to favor newer Testaments nowadays.
My little boy was a wise man this year, warbles Reba in “The Angels Sang.” Pop country about misting up over the Lord.
Not everyone gets to be in this rite o’ passage public humiliation. Like Caitlyn Dyke as told in “Preacher’s Kid.” Indie country with a wistful bent.
The cast on a spectrum is “Merry Mary (Christmastime Is Here)” by Tomás. This messy rehearsal of a kidshow is both entertaining and prophylactic. Other peoples’ kids, amiright?
The Patrick Brothers go even lower with their “The Christmas Play.” All sentiment, no sense of humor. Country whining.
From an actual assembly piece from Emily Crocker, “The Star of the Christmas Play” is NOT an angel this time. Aspirational kidsong, with a novel twist.
In order to force the family to be among one another this time of year, wee ones often get shoehorned into assemblies about the Nativity. Yes, you DO have to go see your brother be a donkey. Yes, it will probably be a disaster.
The Fallen Angel Choir so their civic pride to invite all y’all to the show, any show, in their fast a cappella take on “Joy to the World.”
“The Angel in the Christmas Play” was a bit-o-fun from the ‘forties about a hellion performing for the school. I knew this from Spike Jones (George Rock vocals), but i guess Gayla Peevey got ahold of it a decade later. Then i saw an old videotape of The Carpenters (w/Kristy McNichol) from a TV special. Good God.
Bunch of Believers apply the ska when they’re “Puttin’ on a Play.” Colorful, but a bit of a success.
“It’s the Christmas Play” and it all goes to pot, at least when John Farrell sings about that one time. Kidsong with a very slight edge.
“Let’s Go Caroling” by Danny is a childish pop approach to the topic, but that innocent steamrolling is just the ticket for actually calling out while prowling neighbors’ properties.
“Christmas Is Here Let’s Go Caroling” is Jane Irene (‘Dr. Jane’) Farley bawling out in Carib English about what good Christians oughta be doin’ this time of the year. Holy cow.
Spoofing an old kidsong few recall, Music with Mar. kerplunks through a pioneer version of “Mr. Froggy Went a’Caroling.” Singalong, if you dare.
For Nashville Cast (Lennon & Maisy) calling out the marching band means “Christmas Coming Home.” Must not be Minnesota. Flailing pop country.
“Christmas in New Orleans” returns, sassed up by The Speakeasies’ Swing Band! It may be Santa leading the marchers, but it’s Dixieland (with a Creole beat). Kick up those heels.
While wishing for an old fashioned Xmas, Wildson (feat. Revel Day) easy listening s “Oh How I Wish.” Rudolph’s marching band makes an appearance.
Mouth organs are cheap and easy as gifts, plus which they fit better in the stocking than any of the other instruments we’ve covered.
Baa Baa Sheep throw comedy and rap at their R+B refrain for their sillier than “Christmas Morning.” They then claim to have received a harmonica (in Spanish, it’s called Hanukkah), but i’m not sure i believe them.
As funning, K1LLWH1TEY & London Yellow yell out “Epstein Is Still Alive,” a wish list that includes a puppy and a harmonica and other bits not intelligible or gettable.
Mercy Bell pivots with her indie gospel about a homeless man carrying on at the holidays, busking with a cup and a harmonica, singing “Merry Christmas and Joy to the World.” Pretty damn good, you ask me.
Nearly as emotional is the off tune indie “Harmonica, Harmonica” about the lost narrator who bought himself the eponymous item and then did this song. Thank you very much.
Just plain weird, Glen Stephens poetizes “IT CAME UPON THE MIDNIGHT CLEAR” about–whatever you want, man. With a harmonica. Holy random, Beatman.
Rotten Cookies’s “Little Harmonica Man” recites the dull pop of a mythical gift giver just in time for Christmas. Then it gets metal.
Peek, The Rodeo Clown with Two Paralyzed Legs narrates “Christmas Harmonica” in the guilt zone. Listen at your own peril.
Baked A La Ska goes all out with the ska folk of “Harmonica for Christmas.” This is the novelty we deserve, as well as the novelty we get.
Olivia Frances blows the blues in the swingin’ “Harmonica for Hanukkah.” Can i call it a Jews harp or not?
They Might be Giants tinkle on the toy piano for the sinister indie “Feast of Lights.” Standoffishly, they got you a harmonica–but don’t seem to want to get together at all.
Ella Jenkins invites the childrens for a singalong in the folk kidsong “Harmonica for Hanukkah.” Not sure if it’s a good thing with all that shouting.
If you go around saying no one writes Baroque chamber music anymore, stop it. Passamezzo’s “Beat Up a Drum for Christmas Reigns” (circa 2020) is too cool for you to pass by.
Enya’s “One Toy Soldier” has a clockwork beat, which might make this militaristic plaything (who wants to sing) even more poignant for Xmas. I dunno, i’m just sad about it.
Sensitive Men band-rap about a party in “Two Drummers.” Not clear who exactly is playing but smiles for the exuberance.
But–what about the twelve drummers drumming?! Fan 3 dishes the cheesy pop rock with “I Love Christmas” wherein lots of gifts are received, including On the six I got some drums… Midnight Whistler gets country rocking with “Twelve Drummers Drumming.” Can you imagine a dozen Keith Moons in your house together??
GIFT TIME!
“Little Tessa Boy” wants a drum. Natalia Wohler (feat. Crazy) gives it to him. Parang parang parang.
Twinkle Toes’ Music take ‘This Old Man’ and sling us a baby song: “This Little Drum Under the Tree.” Fear not, more gifts are a’comin’.
Pat Guadagno got a drum for Christmas. You’ll hear all about it in the bluesy folk of “New Christmas Drum.” Sadly it was a gateway to rock and roll.
The Kavanaughs rock with pop in the superior “Bang the Christmas Drum.” It’s the way you revere, party, AND annoy.
Violincellos are not the deepest of instruments, but they get cinematic representation as in ‘Hilary and Jackie’, ‘Truly Madly Deeply’, and ‘The Soloist’.
Neighborhoods and instruments become “Blocks and Strings” from Winter Reverie. Jazz band insouciance that features cellos well.
Even jazzier, Ella Blocker’s Christmas wishes include all “Four Seasons” with you. The final one is you playing cello and her singing. Sexy.
“Little Drummer Boy” will get his day later, but when Panda Corner takes us to the toy instrument factory cars and clocks and trains go by. But then we see a xylophone and a piano and fa la goes the cello bow. Kidsong on drugs.
Again: Maybe i gots a soft spot for Therese Jennings’s Plank Road Publishing, but the professional productions of swing bits like “Who Put the Christmas Presents Under the Tree?” beats the short pants offa the elementary assemblies we have to sit through.
Washboard rhythms from The Christmas Jug Band prevaricate over the question with “The Real Deal.” Is he? Isn’t he? Ask your kid.
Santa promised he’d leave his wife, but that was another of his “Christmas Lies.” Fear Boner overproduces this silliness with jazz band pop.
Watch out for the BLUE ALERT when David Ivan Neil pisses all over the myth that “Santa is Real.” Swinging country that hopes to offend you.
The Heebee-Jeebees sing the blues with “Please Santa be Real.” They’re kidsong-sters, but the music is the real deal.
