I give up. Why? When i come across entries like CODY comes from the surname Ó Cuidighthigh, which translates to ‘descendant of Cuidightheach‘, i capitulate. Nothing to add.
“Cody Christmas 2020” by J. Moriarty seems to be more about questioning the purpose of life than celebrating the past solstice, but that’s how some do. Indie, natch.
Face facts, Cody is a regular character on the show CoComelon. So, “Cody’s Christmas Wiggles” helps you understand what kind of kid he is. Kidsong with a slightly subtle message.
Almost a male version of Claire, yet CLARENCE swings existential energy of its own this time of the year.
Iffen you don’t quite recall Clarence the angel from ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, Xthnru’s “Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence (Clarence’s Regret Remix)” might remind you. Except it’s perhaps not the ending you thought you remembered. (Mandela Effect?)
But we’re thinking of another character. “Clarence, I Wanna Live Again” is surf garage from The Plodes. As such it’s largely gargling, but it does stand for something.
Lovers Turned to Monsters retell the life from that angel’s POV in “Atta’ Boy, Clarence.” Indie to a higher power.
Richard Melvin Brown hopes Clarence will break down his door and be his own personal savior when he’s “Alone at Christmas“. Strangely synthed country lounge.
For George Foster Jr. Bing and Frosty and Clarence are but symptoms. “Come See My Christmas” he proposes his POV in his best Marty Robbins AI.
Nostalgia rules for Dru Ruffin Sr., whose AI “Do You Remember?” begins with George and Clarence. R+B-ish.
Blue Confession equates movies with “Christmas Eve Magic“. They play a kissing game (out of booze?) during ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’. Jazzy easy listening.
Somewhere in Canada, “December 26th, 1945” Arnie and the Waves garage the tragic car crash through the ice bridge into death. Clarence was driving. No angels to save these guys.
Animal time! A goat named “Clarence Stole the Garland“! Bethany Snowe uses south of the border AI pop to tell the mischievous story.
Hoy N Doy N go through the paces with “Clarence the Substitute Reindeer (Christmas Song)”. Kidsong–from a children’s book? They get an E for Ewww.
Christ means King. But CHRISTOPHER means follower of Christ. What’s the deal? Is it because of Santa’s first name??
Is Christ the original Chris? Mute Frank has something to say about that… “Chris Clash” is word jazz about all different names vying to be the Chris. My stars and garters!
Too cool for school, The Tell Alls regale “Christina (Christmas Baby)” with pokey indie humdrummery. It’s her birthday, yay….
A skosh more animated, “Merry Christmas Kristina” by Aymard is tinkly new age indie with some vocalizations of beginning passion.
Misheard lyrics can be humorous. But Shen ongoing, annoyance may arise. “Kristen, Just Be Late” attributed to Brandon Strohl is little girl gusto with shrill hollering of the old Chipmunks novelty. Baby crying bridge! Exhausting.
Rap that isn’t enthusiastic, “Chrissy Christmas” seems positive. Regardless of the goodness of the holidays, MAKCITY has a chip on his shoulder.
Untrained schoolboys Suncidy2 belabor “Chrissy Christmas” into an unfunny in-joke with a kind of rap.
Perhaps getting overhyped, AI makes “Chrissy Christmas” a hero. DJ Popo raps unapologetically, sings uncannily. Chill out.
DONALD O’CONNOR & DEBBIE REYNOLDS take “Chrissy The Christmas Mouse” pretty dang seriously. Big band novelty kidsong from–wait for it–1992.
Baby Birdies use AI to give us the new generations’ verse of kidsong: “Chrissy the Magical Christmas Tree“. Sway along, but don’t parse this Frosty ripoff.
Sloan Brothers get pretty excited about being all grown up when they “Ain’t Goin’ Home This Christmastime“. Then they launch into misty nostalgia about comparing presents with neighbor kid Christopher way back when. Swinging pop.
“Chris Missed Christmas” is overwrought garage from Guinea Worms. You’d swear it was the same two syllables on repeat.
“Chris Mouse” is elementary rap from Papito Nation. Practice session?
Bobs & LoLo addresses the solution with “Chris Moose“. This kidsong suffers from excessive harmonizations, but applies humor in the right places. Dance!
Venetia Family tout “Dinosaur Chris” with equal portions celebration and concern. Bayou pop with some biting.
“Kris P. (The Christmas Elf)” is big band bananas with Dennis van Aarssen. I love when serious as shift crooners take on the silly kidsong.
“Chris P. Christmas” by Dan Singer Songwriter involved unwanted gifts fed to Paul, the goat. Gonzo pop that doesn’t explain the title to my satisfaction. Oh well: dingle dingle.
“A Chris Piss Christmas” by Squishy Balls also loops the spool with nonsensical melody. Gentle pop for a good time.
Were the ’70s the golden years? “Chris, Chris the Christmas Tree” by Peppermint Kandy Kids attempts to stall the vote for kid songs for the holidays. Soaring vocals, but nonsense for lyrics.
The Latin castro–for camp–was adopted by the Welsh during that invasion a thousand years ago or whatever and became ceaster–also for camp. Or maybe, as CHESTER, a cool guy (leopard?) seen around the camp. Cool.
The Lovelies practice missing notes in their fooling around “Chester Bells“. This might be about a particular church somewhere, but who cares. It’s oddly comforting.
Sandra Iris wants to cuddle up in the wintry cold, share an “Eskimo Kiss“, and listen to Chet. (I’ll assume that’s Atkins.) Bilingual pop.
Dear Society shares a voicemail from “Chet” wishing y’all a Merry Christmas and hoping for a job. In “Chet 2” he gets more serious, offering to give up the fiddle for freestyle (audition included).
“Chester the Chubby Elf” was a storybook album for children from 1975. Adam James performs all the voices in this lesson of obesity tolerance for all ages.
Perhaps a sequel, “Chester’s Christmas” from Idiot and Indian (feat. Jis4wa & 27thdimensionmusic) rap out the further adventures of this furry friend.
Not much bigger, “Chester the Christmas Gnome” has less fun making his way to the North Pole. The Withers stretch the journey into a kidsong pop epic. Pointless! But that’s why we love it.
Two time sadder by half, “A Sonnet for Bella McLay on Christmas Day” is a posthumous love letter set to tortured folk pop by The Bird And The Monkey. The love at first citation was eighty years ago, so assuage your tears with a toast to long-lived love. Affective.
Allowing for variations, Javan Johnson unironically sings about a so-called Belle passing through his small town falling for him around the holidays just like a “Hallmark Movie” (Live Acoustic Version). [For ‘brevity’s sake we will skip Southern belles, ma belle charies, and belles of the ball at this juncture.]
“Yodelin’ Belle’s Song” by Sisters of the Silver Sage is one of the least offensive Xmas octave-skippers i’ve encountered. It’s as comforting as a lullaby.Lots of actual bells included.
Not on you if you didn’t readily know, but Xmas trivia includes Scrooge’s old ex-girlfriend as a possible motivator for his stingy ways, name of Belle. Coffin Salesman sings a soft showtune “For Belle, Merry Christmas” in her honor.
“Silver Belle the Christmas Donkey” saves the day for Santa. I have trouble picturing how big an ass is needed to visit all the (Christian) children in one night, yet Patsy Trigg patiently engages in hillbilly kidsong to that end. Bray for Christmas.
Glad to relisten to “Ghosts of Christmas” by TV’s Kyle. Anxiety is the haunt in this pop hand-clapper.
SpongeBob SquarePants retro rocks “Christmas Eve Jitters” so you can dance to it. The peepee dance might be most appropriate.
Concave Onion goes for the verisimilitude in “It’s a Wonderful Death“, a metal-edged so-called song about the trials of the holidays. Feels like a growing panic attack.
Lex Friedman celebrates the annual “Tension Headache Christmas” with toy piano noise and percussive kidpop. Migraine, your grain–what’s the diff? Time to drink!
Robbie Toons also transmits a skull busting ‘Carol of the Bells’ take that repeats “Christmas Anxiety” to get you in the mood to droop.
NoMoore’s “Angsty Christmas” is more homegrown, less funny, but all indie mash up (indie into indie).
Dr.Tatsiana Kukla offers advice (in more than one language) for “Christmas Anxiety“. It’s assuring, centering, and whispery indie.
AI to the rescue! “My Anxiety” by Rowdy Beck includes R+B breakdowns and cures. The lyrics are saying Give Up, but the notes are saying What’s Up?
Further AI sets up the symptoms in a light country ballad “Christmas Anxiety Relief Song“. Then via pop psychology tells us It’s OK, You’re Not Alone, Let Healing Begin, blah blah blah.
Whining is not usually a symptom of “Christmas Anxiety“, so when Wyatt HilloBerries makes half rap/half blues moans, i disbelieve in his diagnosis.
GUM! specializes our disability with “Christmas Party Anxiety“. Nice salsa beat to this pop whizzo.
From TV Funhouse comes “Tingles the Christmas Tension“, an easy listening pop reminder to all kids that adults are inappropriate, insensitive, intolerant, and racist. But they hate themselves, so forgive and regret.
Useta be ya hadda gun down the goose to have a holiday feast. Now you’ve got to fight the lines at Whole Foods. Or, if you’re in a romcom, mis-thaw the bird and undercook our expectations. LAUGH! Let’s get to the killing.
Now you might expect some ‘comedy’ like the “Christmas Hunting Song” by Anthony Petaccio. It’s ‘Rudolph’ with rifles.
Yes, there’s “Deer Hunting Song (Christmas Time Is Here)” where Joe Woznicki can actually sing to the karaoke machine. A bit eerie–
But there’s also slurred original country like Styles Haury drawling out “Huntin’ Rudolph“. It was only one arrow. Santa got mad. You know the drill.
Let’s take a moment to go overboard with A Fisherman’s Christmas Carols, a specialty parodists album from the North Pole Fisherman’s Association. Zydeco and bluegrass vie for country dominance over the smell and mess.
But then there’s the horror of “Santa Claus is Hunting You Down“, partly from the threat but also because of how Marc Grossman phones in the parody.
Back to the children: Jenny overuses AI for the kidsong “Going on A Christmas Hunt“. It’s like Where’s Waldo, but for snowflakes.
“Christmas Gift Hunting” by Paul Onufrey is clumsy kidsong with a heart. Beats AI for me. Be the gift-giving boss!
Time for the big game. Nun (נ) is highest, then Gimmel (ג), Hey (ה), and Shin is last (ש). Got it? Not until you get a little clay….
More advanced rules are given by Richard Squires in his brief folk “Dreidel Game Song“. But how do i get a Yahtzee?
In “The Dreydl Song” by The Klezmer Conservatory Band, the commandment is given to make this gateway to gambling. Very very klezmer.
The Oxford commas interrupt the actual “Dreidel Song” to interpret what we’re getting into here. By way of introduction.
Official scorekeeping from Steve Goodie & Brad Tassell give a “Twist of the Dreidel” with funky pop. The dark side is acknowledged.
Kosher Slaughterhouse spins the metal for their “Heavy Dreidel.” Admissions of manufacture are made.
Brigid Kaelin’s “Blue Dreidel No. 9” is yodeling masterpiece of finding that dreidel… and that’s how it came to be. Blues grass.
The Itche Kadoozy Show featured a confused intro, “The Hanukkah Dreidel Song“, as a selling point or two. It’s the best game in the world. Bouncy kidsong folk.
Children’s capacity for play is seemingly endless. So it would be for you, if you could only spectate everyone else getting to Do stuff. These poor, powerless preschoolers need something to make time go by, especially during Xmas.
In “Let The Children Play (Christmas song)” by Tony Brown (sapptube52) pretense is the game. For God. For Santa. For space travel. It’s some weird kidsong.
Prog rock skeeved into pop makes “The Children Play” from Flip Damon a mystical journey from school to home for the holiday break. What’s going on here?
Kids just running around outside inspires Carole Kuck into “Dreaming of Christmas”. This piano recital pop is nostalgic and sweet. No actual games get dropped, however.
Youth on Track likes to play a game with his stocking and another with the chimney in the thrasher “Christmas Time is My Favorite Time“. Imaginative.
Chad Ackerman startles the lineup with a BLUE ALERT comment on the actual Christmas game for kids: good = gifts. “Fuckin’ Christmas Time” says it all with a jazz beaten pop melody (and falsetto!).
“Seesaw (For Christmas)” starts out as a wonderful tale from Thrice a Chuckle. Then it gets tall. Spoken word.
The String Beans play “Santa Says“–and so can you! Follow along with this authoritarian announcer and keep score. Or… squid games.
