onestarband shouts out indie music like a kidsong while reminding us Jesus was born “All for You“. Deal! With! It!
Todd Sparks chills the vibe with the love ballad “Christmas with You“. Easy listening yet inoffensive.
Bee Gees find religion in “Thank You for Christmas“, a soft rock pop tribute with lighters out. A fuller version attributed to The Living Music Box throws in some banjo, so–yay.
Devon Kay & the Solutions beg, with ska, that you not have another “Christmas Boring“. Energetic impatience.
Jesse “Buddha” Clark (When I’m Older) strums out a bit more BLUE AERT folk with the talky “Christmas (couldn’t) Carol (at all)“. Carols seem to be a trigger. Stand back.
Latin For Truth uses the screech option for the lite garage “Discordian Rhapsody” wherein all things Xmas are dumped on.
Perhaps recorded on VHS fast speed, “The Night You Lost A Button” trundles out Xmas misery from Word Travels Fast. Indie angst.
Ben Coleman gives us another stellar parody suckerpunching McCartney with “Miserable Christmastime“. The sounds of sirens fill the street.…
In “A William S. Burroughs XXX-Mas” Apartment 7 channels the nihilist writer through childish tinkling music. It is not pretty. In fact, BLUE ALERT.
Certainly the pasteboards figure into the “Christmas Casino Dream“, but Nicola Maurantonio slops the AI into soft lounge jazz. so who cares?
Hans, Angelo drunkenly raps “Christmas Poker” with his strategizing all over the rooftop. Even my notes don’t help.
Pokemon is also a card game. Sadly the supporting music doesn’t rise much above the BLUE ALERT “A Relatively Poke Christmas“, in which the Poke Gangster raps nonsense from his poke of view.
Bob Rivers barely saves that day with his parody “Pokemon” about how obnoxious the over-hyped hobby is to parents.
Or maybe the odd pop of ChikënFist’s “Christmas of Want [Adolescent Lament]” will help. Pokemon joins the list of must haves, along with Stretch Armstrong and a Gameboy.
Stephanie Waldvogel’s “Carol of the Spells” succeeds not quite as well for the same card game. Quit caring about good music!
Brian Falduto’s “Christmas Solo” celebrates all things lonely, including playing solitaire. Peppy country pop undercuts this table for one, but that irony sells it.
The coolest Christmas card-player song must be “Dingo” by A Harris and Hart Holiday. This cowboy tale told in spoken-rap is traditional novelty. I mean that in the best possible way. The game goes wrong, spills into the street, and then….
Kate Gambhir gets playful with the pop “‘Cause It’s Christmas“. Which is odd, bc her whole meh on Xmas involves giving in to board games. Whatever.
“Only Monopoly” is the epic he said/she said contest when dinner is ages away and the Christmas couple needs to pass the time. Helen Arney (feat. Tom McDonnell) make a lounge act out of this power play. (The amusing sequel, “It’s Going to Be an Awkward Christmas, Darling Part 2“, tells of the aftermath breakup. Schadenfreude har de har.)
Pull up a chair and get trounced by your uncle for the holidays!
The Withers return with their grand Dadaist parody “Reindeer on the Moon“. Checkers and chess survive from the original Andy Kaufman tribute.
4 Star Review gets depressed and unplugged folk for their “First Christmas in Florida“. To pass the excruciating time waiting to see if Santa will find them after their move, they play checkers and chess (with the nativity scene figures??).
Ned Harris has pleasant family memories when it’s “Christmas Time Again” and checkers is part of the fun as much as sledding. Solid Motown.
Martin & Erin equate the family scuffling for the holidays as a game symbolizing warfare. Their indie drollery “Christmas Checkmate” makes a CW meal of the idea. Thoughtful, yet anguished. (Praxton covers this with an eerie echoic modulation that ups the anger.)
“Wizard Chess” is all Harry And The Potters wanna play in this filk folly.
The Divine Comedy posits brain puzzlers in “Can You Stand Upon One Leg?” including the old Can you beat your Dad at chess at Christmas? Plonky music hall at quarter speed. Call it show tune. A hoot and a half.
Tom McLoughlin blues the country when “Doin’ Christmas Time” in lock up. Chess is played in the game room (‘swell as cards, and pool–nice game room, cons).
P4L Studios take the piss when they ask to take “Chris out of Christmas (mas)“. They have stories about the times he was a bad player on video games, and wrestling, but especially how he cheated at chess, but also made it racist. Not cool, man.
Taking a spin on Edward Hare’s 19022 prank novelty Christmas song, Emanuele Arielli mashes multimedia together for “Last Christmas Santa was Hiding in the Phonograph,” a mess of genre, temperament, and holiday. Scary.
Harry E. Humphrey also recorded this milestone with “Santa Claus Hides in Your Phonograph.” It’s no longer quaint. He’s threatening you with death here.
The Guide Family includes the kids who haven’t learned language skills yet to belt out “I Saw Santa Claus.” Hard pop whatever.
Almost as unintelligibly, Patrick O’Connor gargles “I Saw Santa Claus Rocking Christmas.” Nice guitar solo, but the genre swerves into easy listening elevator.
The Ohio City Players may be borrowing a Tom Waits style to begin the story of the “Santa Claus Stakeout.” But their jazzy indie ends badly… or doesn’t end(?). This one’s a moody masterpiece.
Robert Piccione claims “I Saw Santa Claus” at the corner saloon asking for the mens. Spoken word storytelling featuring humanity’s lowest common denominators. Yeesh.
“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” hit #1 on the Billboard singles chart when 13-year-old Jimmy Boyd first released it in 1952. It’s been a staple since. Barely novel at this point. And yet, some of the reactions since–
Kip Addotta turned the idea on its head with “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus” in 1984. Stand Still here covers that for us. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Again! The Yule Logs reorchestrate the idea with “[I Saw Mommy Kiss Santa] Last Night.” Psychological repercussions are explored to a slack key guitar countrification.
Balderdash & Humbug reposition the events for a he said/she said of “My Kid Saw Me Kissing Santa Claus.” Conclusions are jumped to in this spoken piece.
Cecily Strong gets more into the trauma for an SNL sketch that brings in Dad and a big, weird payoff.
Certainly, for novelty purposes, Homer & Jethro, and Tiny Tim deliver with bizarre sounds. But let’s leave this elevator music with a tip of the Captain’s chair to William Shatner and his little kid who’s not getting mad–he’s getting even.
