X Files-mas: Zombies

There are as many people alive today as all who have died before. So, the return of the dead seems an even deal if they wanna get into it, yeah?

Zombies do the most damage wen they’re a surprise. Captain Ambivalent makes this point with jug band panache in his “Merry Christmas, Zombies!” It starts in the mall…. Amazed! (me)

Luke Smith is early on with the outbreak in his “Christmas Zombie Girlfriend.” A pop love ballad sees him sending her after you. Cute.

The Dollyrots take us through the infestation with the surprising “I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus.” Excellent story telling, with super cool rock.

Less helpful is the parody “Grandma Got Half Eaten by a Zombie” by Wretched Graverobber. Lots of metal to little effect. Yeah, that happened. (Not to mention–please don’t–“We Wish You a Zombie Christmas” from Mike Puccio. Yawn)

That opens the door for “Zombie Claus (Rob Zombie Dragula Parody).” Metal from Psychostick sticks the landing.

But now we have to deal with “Santa is a Zombie.” Indie playful with an edge from Surrounded by Werewolves.

More rote, the metal of “Tim the Christmas Zombie” seems to go through the motions. Dr. Scythe works hard for the humdrum though.

It takes a minute for “I Saw Zombies Eating Santa (Xmas No. 666 Hit)” to get metal. Strange Nocturnal thinks they’ve made a movie. But the result is all mood, no movement. Somewhat impressive.

More appropriately (given the heritage of the zombie), Brass Tax use a Caribbeat for their cinematic excursion “Zombie Christmas.”

Zombie Apocalypse Christmas” by Candy Head and Tim Lane is driving Brit pop rock with lightness to the grisliness.

Hopefully, “there won’t be any zombies on christmas” according to  rushmore beekeepers. This folk rambling spins what-ifs from here to there. Don’t spoil Christmas dinner by shooting everyone in the head, ‘kay?

Inca Jones diverges with “Christmas Eve is the Time for Zombie Albums.” The title is the lyrics on a loop, yet mytifine electronica.

Vista Blue rock those blues with “My Zombie Christmas Song.” Indie reflective with shotgun.

Kepi Ghoulie keeps it symbolic with his “Christmas on Zombie Island.” Folk rocks the agenda, you brain-dead consumers you.

More upbeat David Ritter lounge pops “White Zombie Christmas.” Run and hide! But with pep in your step, two three four….

Retro girl rock from TAME also resuscitates “Zombie Christmas.” Something dead and dull shall rise and dance!

Uh Ohs include Godzilla in their zombie Christmas apocalypse with the sweet folk pop of “Nobody Said.” If only somebody had said something, like on a TV show or something.

Emmy the Great and Tim Wheeler return us to the movie making with their “Zombie Christmas” masterpiece. Club rock with suspense.

X Files-mas: Werewolves

A medieval fear of wolves blended with fear of people who were up to no good. Both skulked and threatened at night when we were sleepy and vulnerable. So we thought.

Werewolves of Christmas” is a serviceable parody of ‘Werewolves of London.’ More poof than cheer here. Thanks go to The Wox.

Amateur exuberance from Matthew O’Donnell lights up “Werewolf Christmas.” Filking at its prime.

I Want a Werewolf (For Xmas)” by The Slingsby Hornets is possibly a ‘Hippopotamus’ parody. But it’s punked up enough that i would discourage lawsuits.

Clash of the Orchids mumble out “Werewolf at Christmas.” This spoken word/sung folky pop number looks out for Christopher. You should look out, too.

Timur and the Dime Museum metal out the rock with their “Werewolf Christmas.” Growls, roars, and howls punctuate the painful struggle the protagonist has with his change. Whoa-o-oo.

X File-mas: Kaiju

Godzilla may be King of Monsters, but those other guys need some screen time, too.

Not a fan of foreign verse, but give “Kaiju Christmas” by Radioactive Karaoke a chance. Ostensibly a Gojira song, this little band pop number brings a children’s glee to glee club.

Jimmie’s in the Basement celebrate when “It’s a Kaiju Christmas.” This retro electronic rock is the new ‘Monster Mash.’

The Radish Friends borrow a great one with “The Christmas Kaiju Cometh.” It’s the end of all good times. Groovy folk rock.

Make Like Monkeys are their usual cool retro rocksters when creating “Santis! The Christmas Kaiju.” Just because we can add giant claws, doesn’t mean we should…. [Not to mention their “King Kong for Christmas” as another of their cool monster musical mysteries. Fab, boys, simply fab.]

X Files-mas: Dragon

May have touched on Christmas dragons once before. Time to get to it for reals this time.

Dragons are just stories when it’s “Christmas in the Shire.” Brendan Dalton & The 1740 Boys Choir soft rock our merry hearth. Then there’s a wizard knocking at your door….

Frosty the Dragon” from PerCy Nevers clumsily mashes up ‘Puff’ and ‘Frosty.’ So doesn’t the new guy melt or not?

Fugli’s “Santa’s Got a Dragon” assesses the reindeer situation and finds them wanting. So, with a bit of metal, he rocks the turbo upgrade for sleigh deliveries.

On that note Mediera chants about the dragon mode of delivery in “Christmas In The Realm.” Pop metal.

Johnny & The Raindrops want something different for Xmas. “I’ve Got a Dragon” reveals the ups and the downs of a boy’s Xmas ask. Make a wish and blow out the house fire!

Retchfire the Christmas Dragon” from Mozart Rottweiler with Sinister Undertones twists the metal with synth reverb. Sure it sounds scary. But I can’t make it out.

Within Temptation’s “Gothic Christmas” aggrandizes ol’ St. Nick to the point where he’s slaying dragons. Cool. Retro pop.

Robby Grant wants to help Santa and the elves so he will summon and “Fly on Christmas Dragon” to get there lickety split. The welcome isn’t exactly warm, though. Prog rock with disco moments.

X Files-mas: Dracula

Christmas vampires are going to fill up a entire post or two, so let’s give additional attention to the big daddy of all of Stoker’s invention.

Howsabout a little comedy from Team Four Star? “A Very Hellsing Christmas” features Alucard (Drac in disguise) murdering Santa then facing the consequences. Somewhat funny.

S’more comedy from Red State Update. We already featured “Dracula Doesn’t Have Ebola for Christmas.” So let’s rewind the clock to the bit “Dracula Got Ebola on Christmas Special.” The big joke is the hit song referred to doesn’t exist. But the comedy includes the antithesis, including the extra number ‘Dracula Salad.’ BLUE ALERT, too. Song writing tips gratis.

As Dracula bums a smoke at the arcade Christmas scenes already set, begins “Dean Martin” from Lovers Turn to Monsters. Sets a sombre mood in contrast to the holiday times. Indie gloom.

Another casual allusion to the Big Bad is in Cledus T Judd’s “All I Want for Christmas is Two Gold Front Teef.” He’ll be like pimp Dracula! Countrified parody.

Some of the laziest humor comes from funny accents. Dracula Sings! makes hay with the Euro-trash vocals for an almost parody: “Unholy Night.” BLUE ALERT

What we’ve been looking for is “Dracula is Santa (Scary Christmas)” by The Palace of Auburn Hills. This tinny club rock is light and breezy.

X Files-mas: Bigfoot

Bigfoot is the official cryptizoid mascot of the Pacific Northwest, the new bumper sticker craze. Ol’ Sasquatch is a symbol of lost wilderness and banished aboriginals, but we all pretend to root for him anyway around here. Merry Cold Times, Dude.

Bigfoot Noel” from Streaking in Tongues is spoken poetry to set our sober yet melodic mood. Pretentiously pretty.

Sasquatch is Coming to Town” is NOT a parody, but a Minnesotan country rocker from Bo Allen. This snowmobiling sack-carrying wookie is actually what brings the toys to good girls and boys. Believe. (But not in the last two minutes of credits and outtakes.)

Uncle Jess and The Rippers completely rock out the animals’ Christmas party somewhere in the woods made awesome by the dancer of the hour and his “Bigfoot’s Christmas Shoes.” Go, Bigfoot, go, go, go.

Just like the difference between typhoons and hurricanes, we own our giant hairy apeman identity here in the Western Hemisphere. But “Bigfoot and Christmas” seems set in The Alps (Yeti??). But, it’s about true love–so an honorary spot for Mark Perko’s folk trudge of a story. Caution: yodeling attempts.

Poor misunderstood shy guy! Cornpone novelty country from Jack Franzen tells how everyone suddenly understood this monster and so “Bigfoot Rides with Santa.” Problems with Act 3….

Cat Named Norris attempts rap in “Christmas with Bigfoot.” Big dance number. Nothing else to recommend it.

Ben & Tucker have solved the problem of sucky Christmasses; Bigfoot ruined ’em. “Bigfoot Why?” they holler in unplugged rocking fashion. The rest is silence.

X Files-mas: Aliens [part E]

Christmas is based on mythology, whether you follow X-ianity or capitalism–it’s all faith based. Ya gotta believe. like Bigfoot hunters do. Like experiencers do. So let’s chew on some sunflower seeds and follow the were-rabbits down their hole (whilst of course overlooking the ordinary flying reindeer, singing snowmen, and furry green Christmas-stealers).

Boy howdy have we already considered aliens on the blog. From plain old sci-fi (with Dr. Who specialization) to Santa (whether his own self, or as a nemesis to).

Like with Jell-o there’s always room for more (or at least there are antacids for after the glut). So let’s peep in on “Violent Vincent is Coming to Town,” a parody about a truly cute and grisly ET with a gun from Xploshi.

Abducted, Jessica Delfino endures “Christmas in Space.” Pop near-rap with falsetto about anal probes. Painful, but even aliens celebrate.

Literally Newt seem stuck in a rut when they electronically celebrate an “Alien Christmas” with aliens. Seems those things have their own observation. Who died for their sins?

We Wish You and Alien Christmas” is the synthed parody from RalphWiggy. Careful what you wish for.

The alien POV pops out from Old 97’s with “I Don’t Know What Christmas Is (But Christmastime Is Here)” from 2022’s ‘The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special.’ Cool retro rock pop. Earthlings are so weird.

Also judgy are the aliens in The Dusty Meadows Band’s “Christmas in Outerspace.” Electronic pop that warns of reindeer poop in space.

Tyler Del Pino & Rusty Robot want to spend “Christmas with Aliens‘cuz they don’t know what is. Apparently these rockers don’t appreciate our traditions of spend spend and spend. They want a new party.

Yo Ho Ho Ho: Christopher Lillicrap & Jeanette Ranger album

CHRISTMAS CAT AND THE PUDDING PIRATES by married team Christopher Lillicrap & Jeanette Ranger is another kidmusical full of shouting and giggling. In a British way. On the SS Santa Claus the characters are colorful. The Captain checks in music hall fashion that everything is “Ship Shape.” Wot fun. “Myrtle the Beautiful Mermaid” is a siren song of fate and love. The old school R’n’R of “Pudding Rock” is a show stopper of enjoying the Christmas pudding. Danceable. The show degrades to treacle after that. No pudding thievery is sung about. Sorry.

Yuletide: Flying Dutchman

Sometimes the ocean-going way is so seductive, it invades our carols without our faces filled with actual salt spray. These metaphors can be powerful.

Check out Carbon Leaf’s “Christmas at Sea.” C-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-S. O. S.: A boat afloat at sea; Row you to me–Christmas at sea. Charming indie about missing you.

Alkaline Trio headbands the punk of “Snake Oil Tanker” with observations like: This time you’ve dug yourself an anchor too heavy to move ahead with. It’s never felt colder at Christmas. So there. Bang.

The Spongetones bring an elegant classiness to their mixed metaphor poetry piano bar tune “There’s a Star.” Starts with a ship and a shore. There’s Christmas in there… Must be something about redemption.

A tight squeeze in this category “Christmas Time in Motor City” is dandy industrial rock (multi-media) from Was (Not Was). An ugly cityscape ends with the image: I sit and watch the traffic panic, it sails away, Look at this…It’s Christmas Day… Noice.