Category: rock

It’s microphone placement; it’s speaker placement; it’s two-eared simulation of reality. Status ran away with itself, depending on how big your stereo was back in my home.

And it’s not a party without this item. Blasting lucky Christmas songs, on the stereo is all it takes to make a “Wild Christmas” according to Chris Trousdale. Grungy pop.

The stereo’s loud, the party’s oouttacontrol, we’re all “Back in Town” for Xmas with the metal rock of Maddam. It’s angry but inviting.

The Temptations lay a lady trap with their easy listening doowop “Everything for Christmas.” And the stereo is filled with yuletide carols old and new. Your move, baby.

“Christmas Down Under” may not have fireplaces roaring or Jack Frost nipping the noses, but the metal AI from Endless Refrain insists on the stereo roaring and the neighbors nosing.

I don’t want a lot this Christmas/Just play the songs I know, on your stereo blues rocks Dave Siverns in the whimsical “Falala.” A little easy listening, but fun.

Standards playing on the stereo is just another sign that”It’s Christmas.” CeCe Winans spritzes the easy listening R+B, but it’s all cliche.

I guess the stereo is so oldfashioned that it represents the lost past, the regretful long past, in “We were All Together.” Tyson Motsenbocker goes for the childhood sads with indie folk.

NEON TUESDAY rocks hard with “Christmas on the Stereo.” It’s almost all exclamation points.

Onto the ’90s and the digitization of melody.

Skye Sweetnam wonders “Why Doesn’t Santa Like Me?” But in her cheesy rock pop denouement it was all a misunderstanding and she got candy and a CD. So, dinner and a show.

One of the nightmares of “Working Christmas Day” is having to listen to the crapy CD the manager plugs into the sound system. The Wind-Up Birds garage their pain for your pleasure.

It’s an “Inglorious” life for Tyler, the Creator who only wanted CDs for his birthday or Christmas. He got CDs. BLUE ALERT rap, bc life is like that.

E. Breez also BLUE ALERT raps about “Coming To Town (2021 Remaster),” but he only gets DVDs and CDs and not Jordans. Still, not as angry.

More wistfully, Francis Blume reminisces about another “Christmas Coming Down” set to the CD player’s noise (especially Joni’s ‘River’). Get help, man.

Ginny Loon also indies the sentiment while “Polishing The Stars.” This one misses you, and she attempts to Put on the CD and pyjamas with the stars on and your name still on the label. Yikes.

Microscopically more upbeat, Mirabilis Collective, feat. Julia Nicholls goes the chamber music pop route for “Christmas Is Here“–as demarcated by putting on that old CD, loud.

More recently, “Pop Punk Christmas” does what it claims, crediting CD compilations. Secret Secret Dino Club has fun with it.

But, that CD can be a weapon. Saint Godfather’s “Santa Claus Is A Metalhead” demonstrates St. Nick’s displeasure when He’s gonna get you Britney Spears CDs. Lordy, how naughty WERE you?

Mike Bryant gets old school RnR honky tonk in his “We’re Gonna Rock Around The Christmas Tree Tonight.” To start the rock, CDs will be played–despite the ’50s sock hop theme. Can’t hold a good disk down.

Body percussion! Put your hands together!

B-Shoc (feat. Mello) raps osut “The Christmas Clap” to let your Jesus shine.

Twinkle Toes Music use a taboo jazz backbeat for the piddling kidsong “Ring the Bells It’s Christmas Time.” There’s also dancing and clapping, and i heard in an extended cut, there’s occupying.

That beats The Hit Crew’s “Chanukah Medley” all to condescending pieces. Sure it’s ‘Happy You Know It’ and ‘Farmer in the Dell,’ but there’s no klezmer!

Baby Big Mouth gets straight to it with the kidsong. “Clap for Christmas” is more original melodically, even if there’s no actual melody.

“Clap Clap Clap For Father Christmas” smuggles in some polka for the kidsong. Friends Of Father Christmas may want you to conga line this muddle, but it’s too trying.

“Applause for Santa Claus” is slightly more CW than kidsong, but Ray Austin is measured and safe for all the ovation.

“Applause For Santa Clause” by Chris Weeks is all show tune effrontery. Still not feeling it.

Comedy Break! Talent Time TV brings us their “Santa Claus Clapping Choir Informercial.” Careful, it’s a cajun-spiracy.

The Benefit’s “Christmas Time (Clap Three Times)” is a technical foul, insomuch as no actual claps are named in the song (only the title). Yet, as ultra-short cheer-based pop, it rules.

“Clap! For Christmas” by Nique de Monet fudges a smidge as well (subbing the sound for the word; i mean–onomatopoeia). But this EDM rap is ’90s electronica infectious. Feelin’ the neon.

Also raging, “Let’s Clap” by UpROAR Music gets carried away with this call and seems to miss the party theme. I do find myself, however, erm, uhh, clapping.

Shameia gets mighty gospel upon “Clap for Him.” It’s for Jesus’ attention getting right there in the pews. Then, scat.

“Clap Your Hands for Christmas” demand Johnny & The Raindrops with old fashioned R’n’R. Now scream! It’s to wake Santa!

 A singultus (also hiccough) is an involuntary contraction (myoclonic jerk) of the diaphragm, yet in my experience there’s never just one. We’ll discuss cures at another time.

Dawn Bosley seems to know how “Santa Got the Hiccups“–but it’s that heavy drinking trope. Cola causes this condition as much as vodka, chum. Anyway, wild electronic pop.

In “This Christmas (I Want You)” Asbestos Dreams (feat. Pearl Rose) is in an indie big ol’ hurry to drive home. A sudden scare (black ice) causes some breathing contractions. Quite a story.

Another (possible) cause occurs in “Santa’s Sex Dungeon” from NilCha0s. Rap with oral consequences. BIG BLUE ALERT

Willie Bill Hiccup whips out the club rock for “All I Got for Christmas Are Hiccups.” Not sure what to make of it, but two ‘BOO!!‘s up.

Is your  apnea–hypopnea index score less than 5 events per hour? Then you might be sawing some softwood logs. Santa approves.

Emma Greenfield demands to know “Santa, Why are You Snoring?” Back room kidsong with some effort.

While the town is Christmas snoring, Eric Ackerman begins to conjure his wishes. “Dear Santa (Santa’s Lil’ Lover)” is the R+B love letter resultant.

At the opposite extreme, HaroldNstuff uses the time when everyone is snoring to plan out “The Time I Killed Santa.” Flippant rap to a salsa beat, but it is an overreaction to bad gifts. So, you get it.

Daddy snoring is the obstacle for the kidsong “Wake Up It’s Christmas.” 10zin The Band (feat. CAMP Studio Kids) is repetitive with head cracking chimes, but it’s really parang at heart.

Puer (feat. Slayd) is bummed that you’re gone, in fact is snoring through Christmas morning with only “Christmas Lights” on. Cheerleader rap.

John Tabacco tries more of a music hall approach for “Xmas Evening.” He’ll be there when you’re snoring. Alarms will blare. Seems you stole more than his heart. Holiday remuneration seems due.

Snoring is one of the symptoms of “Whiskey Christmas.” The Troumatics rock the point into submission.

Shake those zills on your timbrel, baby!

Zach Rocks wants this so bad. His “Christmas Tambourine Song” will make that clear. Rocking, ostensibly. But it’s kidsong through and through.

Mr. Aaron wants you to know about his “Christmas Tambourine” with his gospel influenced pop. Oh, you’ll know.

Despite bongos backing him up Hank Valencia asks us to “Wake Up, It’s Christmas” with the shaking of tambourines. For Christ. Doggerel describes this better than easy listening pop.

Cross Canadian Ragweed sings about a homeless family busking for Christmas. Daddy’s on guitar, Mama’s on tambourine, “Lawrence” is missing Christmas. Weepy folk.

LAPêCHE has happier boho family folk memories with Daddy playing guitar and her hitting the “Red Tambourine.” Still depressing.

The Bosshoss slightly lifts the mood with “It’s Christmas Again,” a country pop ode to celebrating with the tambourine jing-a-ling-a-linging (jing-a-ling-a-linging). Nutty fluff.

This time it’s a synthesizer and a tambourine (and a metal drummer) for Herod the Fink’s Christmas show. “Jimmy & Robert” is a RnR showstopper, give you that. (BTW, that’s Stewart and Goulet–for the title.)

“Rock´n´roll X-Mas” at least as retold by The Refreshments features a tambourine. Dad rock, but really slow. Pretty good sax.

Some mighty good Xmas songs about instruments have long before come and gone on this blog and i’ve done my best to repeat nary a one this theme. Until now. Red State Update’s “Christmas Tambourine” was wasted on my month of Songs about Songs. Now it revives to rock us into the proper celebratory mood. Respect!

It’s a woodwind! It’s brass! It’s John Coltrane’s piece!

It can create a moody mood, too. Over the Rhine’s “All I Ever Get for Christmas is Blue” cites an old song on the radio wailing on the sax. That’s all it takes… blue. This one is bluesy jazz.

The elegy of “December’s Quiet” by Winter Sage angrily jazzes the emptiness left behind of your unattended sax. You, you’re gone. [Their “Fireplace Letters” is more epistolary, a reading that taps the horn as ghostly. Quite the reputation.] [Finally, their “Homecoming Static” pits rap against the missing Daddy’s dusty saxophizzle.]

The mellow sound of the saxophone echoes the brokenhearted of Binary Beats’ “Christmas in Blue.” It is allowed that all music has changed in mood once you have gone away.

Winter bound, an old man questions “Have I Done any Good.” He then picks up a saxophone in his hospital bed and serenades his daughters. It’s a Herod the Fink world, you guys.

Swinging into an upbeat, Dr. Kok adds trumpets to the saxophone for “This Jazzy Surprise.” It’s big band-ish, but elevator bound musically.

Ersatz Roaring ’20s from AI, or at least PerBEATlity, “Welcome to the Christmas Party” also kicks up a heel or two. Trumpets and saxophones again add to the ambience.

Amateur jazz band strikes back with “Santa Played The Bari Saxophone” by The Original Skazz Band (Feat. Joe Crumrine). Cooler solo.

Who to watch out for, however, would be the “Creepy Ol’ Saxman.” The Withers warn you with this ragtime pop, but fear less–the saxophone part is a cappella’d.

Jazzy rock that speaks to me, Chris August’s “Tell Me What You Want” goes behind the scenes for a mall Santa and what he gets asked for (saxophone). That’s a party in my ears.

The percussive gongs, the malleted piano bars, the carillon is so pretty to hear and so funny to watch. Silly music!

We tried TIMŌRĀTUS’s gift panic a couple years ago when Courtney didn’t know what to buy her significant other. NOW it’s “Christmas Present Crisis (David’s Conundrum)” in which he trolls the mall and, settling, wonders why this foreign speak n’ spell… they spelled it with a ‘G’–to which she replies Tha… that’s a glockenspiel… but, sweet. Metal millennial comedy.

“Santa’s Stuck on I-75” is Rubber Heart playing slick rock with an indie garage core. But they banter comically at the end like some ’60s ironic group. And in their ending they explain what this instrument is, god love ’em.

Part three’s weirder stuff.

The Boy Least Likely To indies sl-o-o-w pop into the form of “It Will Still be Christmas.” The bells liven the festivities considerably.

Ponderously slow bluesrock marks Waylan St. Palan & The Magic Elves’ “Bells of St. Ignatius.” The sax saves it.

Les Fradken’s “Jangle Bells” makes a rock pop party out of the instrumentality of those fabricated metal pieces. Boss.

Party rock from Sam Scola utilizes the “The Christmas Bells are Ringing” as message and lyrics over and over. You’ll get it.

Watered down rock (for elder Boomers?) from Ginger Cat (feat. Eric Mullins) dampens “Sleigh Bells.” When they say Go, Cat, Go–i think they mean some intrusive tabby wandering through the rehearsal.

Reverb punk and distortion from Song Boys destroy the joy of when “Slay Bells Ring.” Ouch.

Robert Blake (not that one, the ‘Dr. Bob’ one) wants to “Make Those Jingle Bells Rock.” He may not make them rock, but he makes them roll under the couch where you can’t reach.

Just a bit rap, “Jingle Jangle” is Yarou (feat. Sydney Smithmartin) classing up the joint with funk.

Sean Cole the Outlaw raps that merry monotone about suffering in “Ringing Like Bells.” That’s his phone, dawg. BLUE ALERT

Millennial musings from Lorena Leigh include Southwestern climes, hence “Navidad Bells.” The voice is strong in this one indie.

Indie folk from Krisp and the Kringles warbles out the message of “Bells of Peace.” Get to it, wudja?

A Fine Frenzy can’t make sense of a distant family reuniting for the holidays. They recommend ringing bells to “Wish You Well.” Pretty indie pop.

Make Like Monkeys declare “I Love You Jingle Bells” with the coolest of retro rock. A bit obsessive.