Month: February 2026

X-Mental: All Better Now

How do we know when we’ve achieved mental equilibrium during the holidays? Admittedly, it’s an ongoing business balancing the id, ego, and superego so as to register the fewest complaints with HR, but just listen to these songs and check off your symptoms.

You do your Christmas your way, counsels Santa’s Little Helper in the rockfest “The War On Christmas“. Not sure the sides taken here, but i suspect it’s inner turmoil.

The Apoplectics tutor us on holiday coping mechanisms in “Snuggie All the Way“, a lite pop tune with side effects advisory. Smart.

We’re not manic when we’re “Psyched For Christmas (2023 Version)”. David Prince rocks pop music to tell us how happy he is… and you can too.

Also super psyched, The Little Rockers Band share “This Is How It Feels At Christmas” with uplifting kidsong pop. Just a hair’s breadth from saccharine.

Lofi ambience from The Apples in Stereo croon out “Holiday Mood” is a blissful trance. I’m succumbing….

Nearing self actualization, John Tabacco declares “Christmas and I Am Not Afraid“. Lounge pop from the late ’60s.

Feeling complete, Jenn Ashton & Chris Doskoch ask for “Nothing For Christmas“. Folk symphonic with no irony in sight. Makes me unclench.

Pushing tolerance, “Happy Whatever You’re Having” by the Therapy Sisters allows for whoever whatever whenever whyever. More upbeat jump blues.

X-Mental: Barbaric Practices

We haven’t always been understanding or sympathetic to retards.

In fact sleepy (anti-woke) Larry the Cable Guy goes for simpleton laffs with “Donny the Retard” from long enough ago that no one thought it was about Trump back then.

Perhaps facetiously, Aristocorpse heavy metals “All I Want For Christmas is a Massive Brain Tumor“. Well, it’s the thought that–what was i talking about?

Death metal sets up ONE MAN ARMY AND THE UNDEAD QUARTET’s “Christmas for the Lobotomizer“. More than that, i canna tell ye.

Mike Spencer (Onionmaster)’s “Lobotomy Christmas” plays fun with synched vocals and rambling word salad. Weee!

The Rockhogs think it’s amusing to try an Eastern European accent for their “Christmas Lobotomy“. The danceable pop is more disturbing, but it can’t keep my feet still. ‘Ware the step-by-step instructions for your own operation.

Homegrown “I Want a Lobotomy for Christmas” features poor recording quality and slurred diction from Willy Sochko. Spot on garage.

Riffing on ‘Hippo’ “I Want a Frontal Lobotomy for Christmas” from Redfish (featuring EllaJo). And, yes, the hippocampus is mentioned. You’re welcome.

Dan Hart asks earnestly for a “Lobotomy for Xmas“. Funny folk of the classic novelty sort that flirts with ragtime.

X-Mental: Institutionalization

Last resort, lock up!

Big Top Heartbreak overproduces “Christmas In The Asylum” so that simple punk explodes into unbalanced easy listening. Colorful characters. Heartbreaking story.

Liam Carlin & The Kegs get proper punk with “Christmas in the Madhouse“. Adult supervision recommended.

The H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, naturally, has “Away in a Madhouse” as a standard carol.

Santa in the sanitarium? The Therapy Sisters jump blues “Santa’s Got the Blues” with moxie. It’s not your fault, Nick.

Matt Roach applies social commentary to the shelter skelter of the holidays in “Christmas in the Nuthouse“. No jackets were straited in this rocker.

“Christmas in the Loony Bin” sounds as if it were recorded there. Daniel Johnston’s folk rager offers no solutions, only walls. Osaka Popstar‘s rocking cover makes more sense. Not that that’s a good thing. Faniel makes a funeral march out of it. Ye gods.

The Illiterates garage the dickens out of “Xmas Carols in the Psych Ward“. It’s cah-RAY-zee.

Arlen Rundvall opts for detailed storytelling with his “Christmas in the Psych Ward“. It’s indie punk grisly reality, wards and all.

Sophie Gault maintains she’s doing all right spending “Christmas In The Psych Ward“. Is it what’s true or is it what she wants? Country rocking the psyche.

X-Mental: Therapy

The actual help for psychological problems doesn’t always help in time for Xmas.

Mike Nichols and Elaine May do the situational stand up “Merry Christmas, Doctor” that flips the script and makes the psychologist more disturbed than the patient. Hilarious contraposition for 1962. Perhaps doesn’t age well.

In “Christmas Freud” Yulenog & Nathan Kuruna mumble through an emerging parody. They get better in their novelty career.

Advising Joseph, David Wood’s ‘ROCK NATIVITY’ includes the tune “Don’t Be Afraid“, nudging the old man into nuptials with the preggo teen. Angelic advice.

Therapy can be gras roots, too. A Harris & Hart Holiday propose a cure for what troubles us with “Christmas Hands“. Folk anthem. And pretty damn funny.

Evoking ’70s easy listening perfection, The Free Design advise “Close Your Mouth (It’s Christmas)“. Put your feelings in a jar, kiddo.

For all the expectations you could never meet, here’s a “Gift Receipt” warble The New Anxiety. Not so much Freudianism as it is Retail Therapy. In metaphor at least. Personable easy listening.

If you follow Endiamonds simple indie song steps you may “Lose Every Inch of Your Sorrow“. This weighty loss program is not for every one. Consult your doctor if despair persists.

Garrison Bailey’s cure when determining that “No One Should Cry on Christmas” is the original Nativity tale. Read ’em and don’t weep. Sanctimonious pop.

L’Resorts exhorts Just Don’t in their layered “No Tears“. Carib pop reminiscent (for me) of Timbuk3. Which means i like it.

Tigger from Pooh helps Noodle Noggin’s prescription for “Santa’s Mental Altiitude“. It seems merely clapping hands does the trick. It’s the Tinkerbell Effect for this kidsong.

Also bossy, “Wintrvention” seems to be a will power recommendation from The Classic Brown. Matter over mind comes in the form of military march pop here.

Back to the professionals! The Therapy Sisters round up “The Twelve Days of Analysis” with a lightning round of courses. Hope it helps.

X-Mental: Cry for Help

The first step is admitting you have a problem. No, wait, the first step is rock bottom. No, hang on, the first step is being obviously out of sorts…. Hell, to each his own.

Leading by example, “Sometimes Even Santa Needs a Shrink” is posited by Dr BLT with wily jazz riffs, yet cloaked in confidentiality.

The H.P. Lovecraft Society returns for “All I Want for Solstice is My Sanity“. It’s a ‘Hippo’ rip-off and it’s slavish to the original text.

‘Sleigh Ride’ refig “All I Want For Christmas Is My Mental Health” by Chili A.F. makes little sense, but stays on the beat.

The Stools may be giving up while hollering out “Sanity Ain’t Comin’ This Christmas“, but all punk music is a need for attention.

Asking for peace and love, Aaron Varble folk-pops “Merry Christmas, Sanity“. There’s actual pleading here. Anything like that in your boxes, magi?

“All I Want for Christmas Is My Sanity” is Future_Music’s long laundry list of all the stressors of the holiday. Would a silent night actually help? Harsh pop.

Asking for help Abigail Ory asks “All I Want For Christmas Is Emotional Stability” with adorably bluesy klezmer. Repeat until cured.

X-Mental: Coping Mechanisms

Defend yourself! Against yourself!

Keeping Calm and Carrying On, Helen Arney puts on a brave face in “It’s Going to Be an Awkward Christmas, Darling Part 3“. That’s a tomorrow problem. Pop folk.

“I’m Avoiding Christmas” is jolly folk pop with creepily overenunciated vocals. I got chills, but did learn a thing or two.

I don’t want people to see who I am, bewail Zoe Imperium in the mopey indie pop “I Don’t Wanna Go Home for Christmas“. That’ll solve all your problems, kid!

Don’t try this at home! No Metro’s “Winter Denial” runs outside in shorts and courts retributive frostbite. Sparkly indie.

Infernal Monarch’s “Christmas Freedom from Binge Eating Disorder” seems to celebrate the illness while compartmentalizing it. AI metal that makes you go Hmm.

Speaking of locking it away, Collaborateurs advise you to take your problems and Put in on the “Sleigh“. Catchy R+B with boss backup and sax solo.

“Whimsicles From My Icey Gutters” also has directions for dealing with it. Ages ramps up the rock to overdub the pop.

Christmas as a crutch becomes the point in “Christmas Binge” by Strange Wars. At first, i too thought This is only annual traditions paraded about. Then i listened again. These people are trapped. Harmonious indie.

Opening a dialogue, War Pony Dos begins with an apology in the pop indie “Solstice Solace“. Will a mental healthy relationship follow?

Perhaps achieving stability, Cimrya Deal allows “(I Used To Cry) ‘Round Christmas Time” by allowing joy as well. Positively therapeutic. Syncopated alt rock.

X-Mental: Misc. Complexes

Inferiority Complex? I never had one ’til you got me that present.

I always felt inadequate/For the whole holiday bit admits Magritte & Rosen for their “Favorite Season“. Since there are two of them, they don’t spiral out of control. How nice for them. Indie pop.

“Christmas for Failures” from Surprise Flapjacks also has downs. And Ups. Fainthearted indie froth.

X-Mental: Narcissism

Xmas promotes selfishness and greed, on a merit system purportedly, but still grabby and materialistic. So, look at me, everyone! I’ll tell you all about it!

“Dating a Narcissist at Christmas” is a parody on ‘Beginning to Look’ with some personal details given by Amber Kacherian. Bombastic rationalizations.

The Batman 2287 enters “It’s a Narcissistic Christmas” as a parody on ‘Holly Jolly’. Apparently this guy encounters no end of these selfish a-holes with big elbows.

“Christmas For A Narcissist” is punk pushiness from The Crackhouse Critters seeming to side with the self-obsessed. Privilege rules.

Since Me First is antithetical to the Christmas Spirit, ’tis The Satanic Temple who lampoons ‘Joy to the World’ with “Joy to Ourselves!” It’s all in selfish fun.

Why do you always gotta be the “Christmas Ham“? Make Like Monkeys want to know. Who ordered this center of attention? Retro rock (the good kind).

X-Mental: Misanthropy

Hating everybody is a choice, but it represents a deep-seated douche-baggery that doctors should kick someone in the ass for. Or just everybody gets the boot; they’re all stupid.

Beyond Revelation half-asses the concept, using “Antisocial Christmas” as a catchphrase for a dysfunctional family. This pop easy listening AI doesn’t understand the first thing about Timonism.

When Backslash N asks “Leave Me Alone for Christmas” it’s hardly pathological. Soft country mewling about wanting a small break. Fine.

Also too “Leave Me Alone on Christmas” by Simona Fullinfaw is cheesy pop about some selfish time. I wasn’t going to spend THAT much.

Somewhere on the spectrum Almost Charlie sings “All I Want For Christmas (Is To Be Alone)” in pretty folk. But it’s getting overwhelming. Need. To. Think.

Fiery resentment from SKATERS and Friends makes the punk of “On Christmas Day (why won’t they leave me alone?)” a direct hit on the bad behavior.

The Watchman Music has a go at parody in “Antisocial Christmas Everyone“. It smacks of untalented karaoke, but injects just the right amount of vitriol. BLUE ALERT

Carless indie “All I Want for Christmas (Is to Be Left Alone)” pits The Swaggerlies against humanity. It’s a near thing.

John Tabacco sings that it’s comforting to be all alone… “Or Maybe Not“. Very strange indie.

Sondre Lerche + Jherek Bischoff recognize the need for empathy Yet the plight of others don’t fit in here/At least not now, this time of year–not if you’re into “Surviving Christmas“. Very dramatic indie with a snowman metaphor.

Benjamin Shaw & Fighting Kites draws out the indie “This Christmas (I Just Want to be Left Alone)” until you want to finish his their sentences or just go away.

Dan Hart is balls to the wall in the antic folk “Misanthrope Xmas“. It sounds like fun to hate all, and to all a Go to Hell!

X-Mental: Anxiety

As itch is to agony, angst is to depression. But it’s all troubled waters for our planet these moments. Ride the jitters.

“I Won’t Let Crippling Anxiety Ruin My Christmas!” hollers Ryan Hill over and over for this jazzy indie anthem. Well, my morning affirmations are a little different than that, but–okay.

Glad to relisten to “Ghosts of Christmas” by TV’s Kyle. Anxiety is the haunt in this pop hand-clapper.

SpongeBob SquarePants retro rocks “Christmas Eve Jitters” so you can dance to it. The peepee dance might be most appropriate.

Concave Onion goes for the verisimilitude in “It’s a Wonderful Death“, a metal-edged so-called song about the trials of the holidays. Feels like a growing panic attack.

Lex Friedman celebrates the annual “Tension Headache Christmas” with toy piano noise and percussive kidpop. Migraine, your grain–what’s the diff? Time to drink!

Robbie Toons also transmits a skull busting ‘Carol of the Bells’ take that repeats “Christmas Anxiety” to get you in the mood to droop.

NoMoore’s “Angsty Christmas” is more homegrown, less funny, but all indie mash up (indie into indie).

Dr.Tatsiana Kukla offers advice (in more than one language) for “Christmas Anxiety“. It’s assuring, centering, and whispery indie.

AI to the rescue! “My Anxiety” by Rowdy Beck includes R+B breakdowns and cures. The lyrics are saying Give Up, but the notes are saying What’s Up?

Further AI sets up the symptoms in a light country ballad “Christmas Anxiety Relief Song“. Then via pop psychology tells us It’s OK, You’re Not Alone, Let Healing Begin, blah blah blah.

Whining is not usually a symptom of “Christmas Anxiety“, so when Wyatt HilloBerries makes half rap/half blues moans, i disbelieve in his diagnosis.

GUM! specializes our disability with “Christmas Party Anxiety“. Nice salsa beat to this pop whizzo.

From TV Funhouse comes “Tingles the Christmas Tension“, an easy listening pop reminder to all kids that adults are inappropriate, insensitive, intolerant, and racist. But they hate themselves, so forgive and regret.