Month: January 2026

Christmas… And That Matters Because–?

You know what’s fun? Dirty Nice claims that’s when “It’s All Gunna Go Wrong This Christmas“. Always happens, so–you gotta larf about it, donyuh? Bilious pop. [The animated video features a comet-riding dinosaur destroying your house and Santa, so… fun.]

The “Pointless Christmas Song” brought to you by Johnny Setlist would like art to reflect life. He wishes well with practice piano pop, but what’s the point?

Losing his shirt, Walt Hoagland countries “I Hope I Make It Through Another Christmas“. Shopping, am i right? It ruins everything!

Paul and Storm would prefer Xmas to be boring. After the 2020 shitshow, they toast with easy listening to an “Uneventful Christmas“. If wishes were horses….

Kincaid folk pops “Summer Is Half A Year Away” with off kilter brass and filtered harmonies that signal hope. They even maintain I like Christmas. But this mess undermines the spirit and spits on the joy. Just saying.

The Sixth Great Lake pleasantly retro-pops our closing wherein we realize it’s not the holidays that tire us out so much as “Always After Christmas, Boring“. Even in the 1960s (or at least with that style of sound) we could hardly care. I’m clapping along! Look!

Christmas… Or Not

Jeff Grant is not fully on board with the season. In his “Snow City” he tries to enjoy the whiteness, but falls out with the brisk enjoyment. Sorta pop, but in a depressed way. Later he hopes for a “Light Christmas” with no drama. Sorta folk, but with cross to bear. And next, his “Christmas Sunset” itemizes all the chores he’s not looking forward to. Sorta indie, but bourgeoisie. Finally his “Yuletide to Tide You Over” rushes to get it over with it. Again part-indie, but lackadaisical. Iconic stuff.

“Teenage Christmas” should be right up our indifferent alley. Covered by Eux Autres, this is danceable disaffection, celebrating the fact rather than dwelling on the fracture.

On the polar opposite end of that, “12 Days Of Snowbird Christmas” depicts the distracted elderly as pointless and random. Brent Burns has been holding this in for a while, you can tell, but 12 Days?! Thanks, no thanks.

Make Like Monkeys return, contrarily celebrating an “Ordinary Christmas“. Nice retro pop that eschews frippery, and elects to stay in and not share. Like it, lump it, whatever.

I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME are lonely without you. In fact, this is a “Christmas Drag“, so rock on.

The Regrettes (feat. Dylan Minnette) set up big band pop for their “Holiday-ish“. Slowly, but surely, the hopes and plans fall apart. It’s all not so good.

Christmas, Eff It

“It`s Not Christmas Everyday” is usually a lesson reminding you to be as good as you can be all the time. But in the chords of Bright Paper Werewolves, this trope takes on a sinister and random slant. Reminders to behave come with a raised hand warning. Rock into metal.

The Colors Turned Red rock “Back By Christmas” about returning to the city, provided it’s not too shitty. Provisions don’t suit the celebrations, but you do you.

“Lying in the Snow” with nowhere to go, Isaac Stancill also takes exception to your cliches. Rocking country oddness.

Johnny Setlist’s “Christmas Time is Here Again” does not bode well for any of us. It’s all crap, garbage, and stuff we hate. Lounge pop with an axe to grind.

The Original Cast of Naughty… but Nice! is sick of Xmas songs, so in “Naughty and Nice” they sing about their discontent. Wait– what? Showtune, sho’ nuff.

Arne Hansen & The Guitarspellers toast “Seasons Greetings to You All” out of both sides of their mouths. It’s hard to say (they say), but it is rocked.

Christmas… Who Even Cares

The Felice Brothers make an operetta out of the drunk who forgot to buy the kids gifts, then realizes “The Dollar Store” is closed on the twenty-fifth. Sentimental folk indie. Sniff.

Don’t act like you don’t wanna be here countries Tony Winkler in “That Time of Year“. No pep talk follows, just appropriate bitchin’.

Wishing all this garbage would just go away, Ryan Hill ADHD’s “WWMRD?” Is frenetic folk a thing? It should be.

When Jiggi Public School Kids sing about the holidays as “The Silly Season” it do believe they are not taking The Story of Christmas seriously. Kidsong with electric guitar.

Sean Jean & The Johnsons seem to have an agenda in “The Only Serious Christmas Song“, but this country rock pop mishmash can’t take its own self seriously. Well… i had a good time.

Bob 4 Apples set the record straight when they indie how “Nobody Cares That You Don’t Care About Christmas“. To each his own, and to all good night. (Then the channel changes and the song gets an R+B remake. And you’re asked to be cool.) Wow.

Christmas? I Don’t Give a Rat’s Hat

New Found Glory wants you NOT to have a “Somber Christmas” just because you’re heartbroken. Plenty of reasons to cheer up; plenty of reasons not to. Call it a pop rocking draw.

Amanda Shires would prefer a “Silent Night” due to So much loss and so much grief. Ponderous hymnal with a goth bent.

Irreconcilable differences make The Wish You Weres not wanna celebrate their “Holiday in Splitsville“. BLUE ALERT punk. Their “After-Math” recommends eating and drinking yourself into a coma for Xmas once you finally made a conclusion/you’re not getting laid over for new years. Well, alrighty then.

Learning to be alone, Any Other garages their “Cold House“, a place as discomfiting as outdoors in Winter.

Jascha calls it quits with the minimalist folk of “What the Hell; It’s Christmastime“. Had a good run.

Marshal Keep is afraid of Santa “Ruining the Holidays” by spreading ailment. Not COVID-19 this time: menopause, STDs, and diabetes. Cute pop, but you know what you did, you jolly bastard.

Christmas… Couldn’t Give a Fig

A deranged family is enough to make Matthew McLaughlin feel disconnected from the “Holiday“. Plenty more beef in this peppy alt-pop, but it’s all unbalanced.

Radar & Satellite singa bout hope and joy in “Christmastime“, but their creepy vocals and thrashing metal backup make me uneasy. The parts about Santa knowing all your lies, or losing your spouse are not traditions in my domicile.

The loss of faith and friends is also not on my list of Xmas affirmations, but Lori McKenna makes a seven course out of her “Grateful“–an idea she aspires to rather than embraces. Folk.

Make Like Monkeys is my goto for fun holiday retro pop, but they have a dark side. “Christmas Doesn’t Last” is about drunken failing; “Isn’t It Christmas?” is existential angst; and “Hollow Holiday” is just mopey. Bummed now.

Valerie Warntz wants to “Shake Up Christmas” and she spins a tremulous tale of a boy and girl on opposites ends of the world wishing for love… but the folk pop song ends with no resolution. Well, crap.

The loss of Father Christmas sets off a “Cynical Christmas” for Wild Earp & The Free For Alls. Honky tonk blues that also gives up on Jesus. Look out.

“A Not so Merry Christmas” occurs when love is lost, so say The Boxmasters. Sashaying indie pop, bordering on 1956 RnR.

Christmas? That and a Dime’ll Get You a Cup of Coffee

Truman Proudfoot & David Kandal get screechy looking for the blame that “It’s Christmas Eve“–the toilet swirl of holidays. Dark pop, with throat clearing.

A moving hymnal round, “Christmas Was Not Made For Us This Year” apologizes while complaining–as sung (approaching scat) by Extra Virgin. A conversation starter.

Party the Hut and Friends take Xmas into their own hands when they don’t get any good presents. With “Pots and Pans” and some snappy folk indie, they make their own middling fete out of doors.

Sarah Connor also has proposals to fight the inks around now. “Don’t You Know That It’s Christmas?” she pop divas. So, what if i don’t? Some aggressive frown turning, so watch out.

Eraserheads are far away from you, so not in the mood. How far away? “Lightyears“. Sloshy indie that wants to be pop when it grows up.

The Snowman mounts the lounge stage to air his grievances in the showstopper “Christmas is a Drag“. That trombone says it all.

Christmas… No Biggie

Rob From Amersfoort has a bone to pick with Christmas. Rather than force gratitude for crappy gifts, he rock-pops about how he’s like to “Smash the Elves” instead. It’s what he’d really rather do. Frolicsome sociopathy.

He then uses choice descriptors like wretched, forced, and cheap to excuse his excuse: “Christmas No Thanx (Hallelujah)“. Twisty pop with loads of synth that points out the spike in suicide for the season. Ouch.

Bird Mancini thinks he needs a pill, “Because It’s December“. You know, when all those headaches happen. Folksy blues.

Maybe “Merry Christmas to You… Anyway” qualifies Miss Jackie and the Sass. Much more bluesy, as uncertain a genre as could be.

Zoe Imperium has had several troubles during “Another Messed Up Holiday“. Take your cheer and go away. Rocking long list of woes.

Tagged as a Spoof Song, DrScythe’s “Like Christmas” is a Western strummer that asks for your pretense more than your presents. Exciting inertia.

Christmas? Not Keeping Me Up at Night

Glamourpuss mumbles and moans “Pastel Christmas” to describe washed out unfocused celebrations at the end of the year. Just like we used to have. Psychedelic club rock.

Rock riffs hep up the pop of Kristian Noel Pedersen’s “Ordinary Christmas Day“, not a convincing surrender of positivity. But middle of the road, nonetheless. Charmed, i’m sure.

randywackmin is fed up with Xmas. “What a Rip Off” he indies to the electronica of screaming children, burning cookies….

Now, good ol’ Otis Gibbs promises no one’s getting “Crap for Christmas” from him. Not that there’s no end of fecal quality around this time of year. But his bluegrass insists he’s not part or parcel of it.

Perhaps crossing a line, The Satanic Temple plays devil’s advocate about the importance of this otherwise “Arbitrary Night“. This is a parody of ‘O Holy Night’, for all the good that info’ll do ya.

Christmas: So–?

Reverbed within an inch of sense, “I Guess It’s Christmas” by Default American garages the lack of feeling (takes a minute to start singing) over the celebration.

Coleman similarly takes his Yamaha keyboard time to start his “Christmas Overture“. Ostensibly this is about love and joy, but the pop overstuffed griping, protestation about snowplows, and certainly the dead feeling of the vocals makes me lethargic.

Terrell’s iPod pisses and moans about your Xmas tree that’s “Cramping My Christmas“. Who’re you gonna call? No one! Jazzy slo-pop.

Waylan St. Palan & The Magic Elves yodel “Christmas Disaster” about loss of love, not loss of life. So, grieving here entails more drunkenness. Snazzy jazz sax solo buried in these blues.

Coco Hames retros “Keep Your Christmas” into girl band splendor, but that’s bc of the superiority she’s feeling over her heartbreak and world-crushed dreams. Great song, otherwise.