X Files-mas: Bigfoot

Bigfoot is the official cryptizoid mascot of the Pacific Northwest, the new bumper sticker craze. Ol’ Sasquatch is a symbol of lost wilderness and banished aboriginals, but we all pretend to root for him anyway around here. Merry Cold Times, Dude.

Bigfoot Noel” from Streaking in Tongues is spoken poetry to set our sober yet melodic mood. Pretentiously pretty.

Sasquatch is Coming to Town” is NOT a parody, but a Minnesotan country rocker from Bo Allen. This snowmobiling sack-carrying wookie is actually what brings the toys to good girls and boys. Believe. (But not in the last two minutes of credits and outtakes.)

Uncle Jess and The Rippers completely rock out the animals’ Christmas party somewhere in the woods made awesome by the dancer of the hour and his “Bigfoot’s Christmas Shoes.” Go, Bigfoot, go, go, go.

Just like the difference between typhoons and hurricanes, we own our giant hairy apeman identity here in the Western Hemisphere. But “Bigfoot and Christmas” seems set in The Alps (Yeti??). But, it’s about true love–so an honorary spot for Mark Perko’s folk trudge of a story. Caution: yodeling attempts.

Poor misunderstood shy guy! Cornpone novelty country from Jack Franzen tells how everyone suddenly understood this monster and so “Bigfoot Rides with Santa.” Problems with Act 3….

Cat Named Norris attempts rap in “Christmas with Bigfoot.” Big dance number. Nothing else to recommend it.

Ben & Tucker have solved the problem of sucky Christmasses; Bigfoot ruined ’em. “Bigfoot Why?” they holler in unplugged rocking fashion. The rest is silence.