Category: rap

Santa and guns?? Who’s getting shot?

Somebody named Grandmaster was waiting with the rooftops in his sites for when “Santa’s Here Again.” Dread metal from Infinity Greenhouse.

“Shot Santa in the Back” is amateur pop from Wheelchair Full of Old Men. It’s not safe for working sanity.

Viva Joaquin cleans up the professionalism with banjo and blame in “Someone Shot Santa Claus.” It was Old Kringle’s fault, the perv.

Weege & The Wondertwins roll out the ragtime for “Daddy Don’t Shoot Santa Claus.” It really begs with soul.

Andrea True Revival (feat. latenightbagel) try some electronic rap (sound like spoken lyrics in the sociopathic “Santa Died In A Shootout.” Tough stuff.

“Santa Claus Just Got Shot” is the repetitive rap from Shaq Queso (feat. Donnie Preoccupied). It’s rough Northside.

Time for some urban retribution. King Aiden raps Ak47 what I want on my wish list I need guns for protection hold up load up that little clip in the tinkly, almost jovial “Hood Christmas.” Better safe than surrounded by alive people.

“Sleigh Ride Drive By” from Coolio and Meredith Brooks is just a ‘Sleigh Ride’ cover with some commentary. Intent is there. I guess. And a laugh track.

Boosie Badass (feat. YFN Lucci & Rich Homie Quan) promises–through rap– I’m gon’ get some more guns in their “Christmas List.” More suffering , more rapping.

RHL_KT sounds more melodic and low key, but with a ‘mag’ he intends to ‘light ’em up,’ by which i think he’s going to shoot down your decorations. Plenty of other code indicates you may not survive his need for weed in “Hood Santa.”

IT’s all downhill in the concrete jungle. “Dark X-mas” from Mikael Englund is R+B rap with some pretty melody, but some monstrous fate for the Fat Man and the kids for that matter.

Rucka Rucka Ali adds Tchaikovsky for a lighter element in “Twas the Night Before Kwanzaa.” Santa confronts two homies with a knife and a gun… until Suzi shows up with an uzi. Ultimately no man left that night, without a cap in his ass! So, like presents–?

Johnny Setlist uses the end-of-the-year times to reflect on how awful it all is. With experimental alt-folk he marches through “This Christmas” as if 2018 was the worst case scenario.

Santa brought us a nuclear attack, begins “On Christmas Day (Happy Holocaust)” by Mr. Strange. Slow and measured metal, like our hearts will be.

Irony smokes “Xmas Next Year,” as Connor Ratliff · Mikey Erg sing about this being the last Xmas. Games and toys over, man. Pokey indie.

The passage of time is a fearsome foe For the decent and the damned, so sings Kaprekar’s Constant wishing you “All You Wish Yourself.” Folk pop of the wishful varietal.

“Song for Santa (Jingle Your Own Damn Bells​!​)” by Sparkbird is an elf’s lament about that miserable taskmaster. Time for representation!

No Funeral is having a particularly bad Christmas, so they want to blame “Dammit, Santa.” Punk-rock with a whining edge. Fights, jail, arson… it’s a tall order for the old guy.

Laid back rap from Bubba Mooch 57 allows that “Damn, It Feels Good to be Santa.” Kidstuff, but adulterated for your listening pleasure.

It’s “Christmas in Fallujah,” children snuggle in their beds While the corpses of their parents dance around in their heads; Palaces and bridges, we burned them to the ground, ‘Cause someone got a contract to rebuild the whole damned town. Jefferson Pepper folk-pops the Hell on Earth to end all.

“Damn, Santa!” is the green-eyed rap from Delu. Lots of questions ’bout how he does it.

Working hard at all the rhymes and near-rhymes for ‘Santa,’ Dan Bull (from a JacksFilms idea) raps out gleefully “Damn, It Feels Good to be Santa.” A wild and profane ride.

Gary Oak slows the rap roll with the wistful “damn I’m Santa (damn, i’m santa).” Reverent.

‘Gee Whiz’ gets a witty update with “Oh Damn It’s Christmas.” J. Anthony Brown parodies with the best of them, while keeping the soul.

Justin Strong newages the sentiment with “Christmas is Here (I’ll be Damned).” He’s trying to woo with this morbidity.

J.T. Hiskey claims he’s “So Damn Happy (Christmas Song).” But mediocre rap set to ‘Deck the Halls’ doesn’t elevate the mood. I mean, damn.

End of the world? What about the end of Christmas?! (Sure, we’ve covered the absence of the holidays, but there’s alway room for nullo.)

The Dimmer Twins (Mick & Keef) worry about the bugs and glitches in “Cyber Santa.” One system crash and it all goes away. American rock.

Christmas has been warped beyond recognition, so Kristie K raps that’s just “Doomsday” now. Slow, but emotional.

Daddy issues in Sniff’n’The Tears’s “Man in a Million.” This folk rock insight to the deadbeat dad offers for his triumphal return a question: Will he be home by Christmas With gifts of pirate gold…?

“Blackbeard vs Santa Claus” from Gridline Rap Battles pits a covetous historical figure against a braggadocio. Little effort to decide Santa wins over pirates.