Category: rap

Not simply another form of record, vinyl has such snobby connoisseurs (hi, Dave) that it might as well be the only authentic transpo for melody.

Look no further than “Love Over Instagram” an AI country tweaker from Jingle Bots. Recycling, craft beer, vinyl… it’s positively caveman cool.

“Indie Rock Christmas” is a grabby anthem from Hawksley Workman that ’80s-fies the wish list so that including vinyl ain’t quite out of style yet. Antic.

Candy canes and vinyl records and hot cocoa are lumped all together by AI when Dobeidy rocks the mood in “Under the Christmas Lights.” An EFF for effort.

Snowflakes and vinyl are the whole list for pop AI in Paul Bill Jr.’s “Christmas Wishlist.” No, wait, YOU is the only thing on the list. That other stuff is background.

“X12 Days of XXXMASX” is screaming punk care of From First to Last, wherein rare vinyl appears at no. 7. It’s a time capsule of angry wanting from the ’90s. Thanks, Friendster.

More haunted AI proclaims “Christmas LoFi Chill” as the vinyl spins. Niboyeang fills the pop bin with slop.

It’s quiet here let’s hear a tune, start up the vinyl, Kval kvetches in echoic whispery indie that dooms the mood of “Christmas is Bliss.” Please play this at my funeral.

“Old Fashioned Christmas” for Danielle Apicella involves slow dancing to vinyl. I approve of this soul ballad.

“Old Fashioned Christmas” gets closer to present day every generation. Vinyl records not MP3s is nostalgia for Joe Frye’s soft country pop.

At least the “Festive Records” of _PatrickConnor engage imagery when We dance around the room, vinyl crackling like it’s crunching snow. Falsetto pop.

“Christmas Vinyl” is caterwauling from Greencowme that puts this product under the tree where it belongs. Bluesy rap.

Shellac, polyvinyl, wax, platter, and licorice pizza were the modes of transportation for many decades when it came to playing the hits. Do we sing about THAT?

Huey ‘Piano’ Smith and The Clowns jellyroll the blues when “All I Want for Christmas” are a few albums here and there. Pump it up, kids.

Oh, record spinning as I’m dreaming about how to get you alone, wails Chris Stapleton (with Kelly Clarkson) from a place of pathos in this diva jazz of dance music:”Glow.”

Let’s turn the TV off and put that old record on/And dance in the dark, croons Leona Lewis to Ne-Yo in the bedroom eyes R+B sashayer “Kiss me It’s Christmas.” Hope it doesn’t get stuck.

You bought my records, come to see my show/That’s why James Brown love you so, sings James Brown in “Soulful Christmas.” That’s enough meta, thank you.

Mandisa wants records (and movies) to make you feel like “It’s Christmas.” Thumping loud soul.

“The Christmas Album” by Aecerd is the garage screamer of a finale for their christmas album entitled Christmas Album. It screams.

Lisa Biales is composing her “Christmas Record” while belting out her process with melding genres and pushing that fourth wall. Well done, despite its self congratulatory tendency.

“Emergency Christmas Album” is Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer’s ‘rap’ attempt to get me to reconsider going meta some more. This album does in fact seem to be a panacea for all your Xmas woes.

Flatulence has had a day or four on the blog before now. Never mind that.

Nick Mao does the obvious (albeit well) with “Let One Go,” a ‘Frozen’ parody.

Unrelated, 2 Live Jews parody ‘Let It Snow’ with their own tinkly “Let It Go.”

While in the parody mood (with lowered standards) “Please Be A Fart” is Joey Kalico’s ‘Felize’ funning. That’s how you use a karaoke machine!

Chris Rowell & The Jiggi Verandah Band boogie woogie for “The Last Reindeer.” Turns out the gassy ones get last place. ‘Zat okay with Santa??

Tempest Findlay rolls out lounge jazz about how “Santa Farted.” But, it becomes an extortion racket. Not very spirit-of-Xmassy.

Not as aural, “Santa’s Just A Happy Fat Fart” characterizes an old, relaxed workman. Swamp Dogg delivers the blues.

“Let’s Go Fartin’ in a Santa Suit” has Ben Rogers ratchet up the antic country pop. More imagery than necessary, but whatever turns your propellor.

Kyle Dunnigan (feat. Craig) admits “I Farted on Santa” with sprightly showtune melodies. I’m not sensing any regret or remorse.

Kruxy mines the Nativity for “Lo, O Caganer Rejoice!” a church hymnal that breaks a mighty wind. And a mighty dump. It was a manger.

JOVAi slathers AI pop/blues on top of “Tone the Farts Down (For Christmas).” Make it your ringtone, play it for all the fam, it’s not that bad.

Nathan Webb raps a bit about “Christmas Farts.” No sympathy is expected.

So deep into Motown you have to show papers, PJ Morton (feat. Yolanda Adams) want to know “Do You Believe?” I can’t keep my Testifyin’ still.

Hot Breakfast! strums out a mean folk pop “Christmas Is For Believers.” A journey of logic and hope is detailed with all the usual clues. Belief wins in the end.

Bridgette Bryant journeys through the stages of belief with “Do You Believe in Santa?” This spoken word memoir doesn’t end well for non-believers.

Sinner Friends testify that “Santa is Real.” Kooky folk that devolves into sermon. It’s a meeting of Santa Believers Anonymous.

Brandon Wolfe Scott is quite skeptical in his laryngeal pop number “Do You Believe In Santa?” Each question leads to the next question.

The Arches metal out “Santa is Real” with mostly riffing. But they do have a message about your belief system.

Rapping through the inconsistencies KOOPANUT explores the quandary “Can I Believe in You? (Santa Claus).” It’s a fun ride from across the pond.

Trying again, The Hooves declare with sock hop rock that–when overwhelmed with Xmas–all you can do is believe you had a “Hoof on the Roof.”

Speaking plainly Tyrone and Leslie ask “Why is Santa Every Where?” It’s a folk litany of three-year-olds’ questions. Keep up.

Claiming belief, SLEEPING TIMMY mush-mind the indie “Do They Know It’s Christmas (If It’s Not on Facebook)?” with all the pissy sardonicness they can muster. They might be mad.

Rapping up the uncertainty, Pj Panda side eyes “Do You Believe in Santa Claus?” with surprising hope. Hard beat, if not completely upbeat.

Going to the extreme of kidnap has been touched upon here in the yule blog:

Merry Criminals! kidnapping

Blind Fury continues the BLUE ALERT crime spree with sight-impaired rapping in “I Kidnapped Santa Claus.” The motive: presents.

Kadesh Flow takes inspiration from the Jack Skellington deal as in their “Our Christmas Town” my goons are down to kidnap a Santa. Melodic rap, without all the angry nastiness. Thanks.

Midnight jollies up the lofi metal with “Insomnia,” not necessarily a holiday plunge into the depths of darkness, but relatable this time of year.

“Insomnia” (LIVE) from Ladies of Death Row Swimsuit Calendar jangles and jumbles that time of the year into lucid damning. I assume it’s a young person club thing.

Akata Imhotep waxes philosophical with the rap “Ambitious.” It’s nearly Christmas, but: Insomnia had to be created by someone who is lazy. It’s about the hustle, son.

Title tiredly raps “Fall Asleep!” as they cannot do so, not on X-mas Eve. You okay?

In “My Younger Days” Trey Lorenz can rap-recall not being able to fall asleep anticipating Santa. Some soul may occur.

Krazy Kuzins take the rap to the children with their “Hip Hop Holiday Cheer.” Many filial duties are expressed, but that staying up late thing wasn’t in the Commandments….