Big Show: Recital

The solo show, the recital, has broken many a budding prodigy. The pressure! For Jesus!!

Rob and Tony allow that in a “Virtual Xmas” the carolers perform No doorstep recital, just processor code. Still, a show. Electronic pop, yet whimsical.

Busta Rhymes fronts Bieber for a reductive “Drummer Boy” that spotlights the kid’s show as a one man band. Rap, like.

Santa’s Southside Symphony” by JJMAJ and The Unpolished Brass begins as a one-person lament, then–gets drunk. IT’s like Dixieland and rap had a baby.

Xmas Music Delivery System: Band (angels)

Heavenly hosts are usually on key, surely they can hum a hymn of so in honor of Xmas.

In “Christmas Must Be Tonight” from The Band, a band of Angels sing amid all the birthing stuff. American country. I mean, it’s The Band.

Heavens’ Christmas Choir” is AI country by Broken Heart Rebels. You can imagine what goes on here.

Cori Connors makes it religious when she gospelizes folk for “Heavenly Choirs.” By, for, and at the children.

The Fallen Angels Choir spin The Beatles for their “Fallen Angels’ Bleeding Hearts Club Band.” They’re no angels. They’re mothers.

“Hark the Herald Angels Sing” is right there, so let’s open the parody door and see what spills out. The Fab Four start with The Beatles’ ‘Help’ then get more trad. Thanks to Pete da Elf for cluing me in to dat ‘un. John Valby drops the bottom out of the BLUE ALERT civility. It’s OFFensive.

Killeen 3000 churns out reverential easy listening with “When Christmas Angels Sing.” More elementary than elevating.

Hollering for all that’s holy, Justin Wilson preaches “When Christmas Angels Sing.” Dixieland pounded out into something else.

Xmas Music Delivery System: Band (North Pole)

More organized song making from Santa-Land.

Just a little echo of something fantastic. Robby Grant’s “North Pole Christmas Party Band” rocks, alt-rocks, and indie rocks.

Line Materials was a thriving plastics corporation what pressed original children’s holiday records every Christmas for their families of employees. In 1957 they jazzed up the ante with “Santa’s North Pole Band.” Wild, daddio.

Xmas Music Delivery System: Hi Fi

High Fidelity stereo equipment becomes the rage just as rock and roll begins, so this playing machine is the HIpster’s FIrst choice.

In case you’re not picking up what imma laying down, “Kitschy Christmas” from Molly and the Starlites draws out the rock/pop to slow-mo with all the kooky cousins attending the party. Attention, campers! (Burl Ives is playing on the HiFi.)

From the appropriate time era, Detroit Junior wants ya to turn up your hi-fi
(turn it up loud) on “Christmas Day.” Groovin’ Motown rock.

Merry Christmas, Baby” hails from 1947 (!) at least from Johnny Moore’s Three Blazers. The playa here Bought me a hi-fi for Christmas, now I’m living in Paradise. Roots of R’n’R, babies! [But if you want to feel like you’re on drugs, try Elvis Presley technologically duetted with Gretchen Wilson from 2008 as slow as the law of music allows.]

Angry at meaningless catchphrases and cliches, Veaux belts out the slow indie “Falling Like Snow” with meaningless catch phrases and cliche… ironically! (Yeah, you and I/Love on the hi-fi.)

The Winter Spirits make the aftermath of heartbreak cooler than cool with the jazzy alt-rock of “Winter Spirits.” (Oh you can take that Hi-Fi if you please.) Definitely play this on low volume for your next Yes, it IS a bachelor pad get-together.

Xmas Instrumenting: Whistling

Our bodies make music in their own ways. So, for now, put your lips together and blow, for Christmas.

DaViinci, Jemitris Vezia experience exaltation with their rap ode to Mary and family “Born on Christmas Eve.” They’re feeling so jolly they might have to whistle more.

Christmas Whistle” by Queens’s Intress seems to be a sass test, rather than any kind of musical tribute. R+B kidsong, but it might be a bit naughty.

The Amazon workers might whistle while they work, at least the pop bluegrass “The Amazon Christmas Song” would have you believe. James Harriman seems to be having cheeky fun, so go with it.

Buddy Mix revs up syncopated pop when he’s have you “Think About Santa Claus.” If you want to put your doubts down and just play, Put your lips together and whistle away! Just like with Tinkerbell.

Make Like Monkeys prefers the flurries. “Whistling Snowflakes” is a pop ragtime activity rather than cruel Winter’s harbingers of doom.

All I Want for Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)” posits the inability to whistle whilst bereft. But that novelty is a bit long in the tooth. Perhaps we’ll allow Dracula to sing it, as brought to us by The Christmas Party Players.

“‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” promises a bounding, smoking, and whistling (at his chargers) Saint Nicholas. Try Art Carney’s beatnik jazz happening.

Another whistling encounter with Big Red, “See You Again Next Year” from Philip J Martin is ragtime rollicking about annual peeking.

Santa’s Whistle” can call the reindeer from the Milky Way. Well, that’s what Don Kletke / Buddy Gale sing about. Easy listening with whistling.

Comrade Cosmobot wants to make an experimental music deal with you: “You say santa & I Whistle.” He doesn’t hear too well, ‘cuz he never whistles.

I was familiar with Lawrence Welk pimping out the girls for “I Wanna Do More Than Whistle” under the mistletoe (It’s better to kiss than whistle). Smarmy lady listening polka. But it seems this jaunty flirt-fest was brought by the horny boys (Alan Copeland · George Cates · Mort Greene) originally. Who wore the stink of desperation better?

Whistle ‘Neath The Mistletoe” is a strategy for Briana Winter. In this lounge jazz she gets the attention of potential kissers with her brazenness.

Xmast Instruments: Trumpet (pt. 2)

Toot your own horn. For the holidays.

Winter Sage takes a break from referencing saxophones to remember that plastic trumpet you got in ’82. “Midnight’s Apology” puts a somber spin onto this alt-folk nostalgia. [In their “Whiskey & Mistletoe” the trumpet from old records sounds like memories of Dad’s absence. Damn. Syncopated jazz.]

Brandon Diaz likes to point out “This Year Sucks (At Least We Got Christmas)” with some chiming indie pop. Let the trumpets sing he invokes when he’s really into it.

The Wiggles’ “Wiggly Wiggly Christmas” is a kidsong swing from Santa and his reindeer band (Rudolph on trumpet–cool, daddio). Not Safe for Work.

In the party of The Snowfall Swing, Chris Waits highlights “Frosty Jive” bringing the whole town to its feet for his thumping pop. The trumpets glow, dear.

Frosty learned the trumpet in “Once a Snowflake” from the musical ‘Searching for the Spirit of Christmas’ and sung by Noah Flores & Alisha Nordquist. Showtune merriment.

The Wailers (w/Bob Marley) want you up and at ’em as they “Sound the Trumpet” for Christmas. Reggae with a side of jazz.

The Action! swing with more jazzy reggae wanting “A Trumpet for Christmas.” Apparently it will bring them cheer. Boss.

Xmas Instruments: Trombone

Whether you think of your Tbone as a large trumpet or a paper clip, you must be one sliding cat to handle that sackbut.

AI calls out to us how Trombones swing and trumpets shout in the pretend jazz band of “Swingin’ Christmas Bells” by Hadrian Virtual Ensemble. There’s also glocks, but not the shooting kind.

In Corey Lynn Fayma’s “Gumbo Ya Ya Christmas” features jazz, funk, and blues–including Trombone Shorty! Clear the decks!

Channeling Elvis Josh Dower breathally intones “I’ll Trombone For Christmas.” This is not the parody you are looking for.

Splodgenessabounds calls it an ultraphone in his takedown of UK politics “you’ve got to have a dream”You’ve Got to Have a Dream.” Wacky music hall bit–Have a Banana!

Saving our musical acuities Poppa John Gordy and his Dixielanders jazz out “Santa Plays The Trombone (In the North Pole Band)” from 1954. Dixieland, i never thought i’d be so happy to see you back.

Xmas Instruments: Piano (pt. 1)

Hammers on strings? Is it percussive? Is it stringy? Play me a song, piano mass.

DG Solaris improvs “Christmas No.2” with a jaunty keyboard beat and a weird AF gratitude for what matters at Xmas. ‘Sworth a jazz minute.

D/troit’s “Motown X-Mas Song” namedrops like on a mission (incl. Marvin on the piano) to imagine the party to end all parties. More pop than R+B.

Brett Eldredge knows “It Must Be Christmas” when all his friends are in town and Tommy plays piano. Sassy easy listening with a skosh of jazz.

Boys in Shorts narrate their music making in “Christmas Lights,” a winsome reflection of light emotionality. Quite quite indie.

More shyly, UFO Race downplays the lights AND the party small talk in favor of commandeering the piano and creating a “Christmas Chime.” Frothy fun indie.

Crazy 4 Christmas” is Mike Fish getting Dada with Xmas imagery in front of a rocking backdrop. Just my cup of shoe.

Lori (of Lori & David) promises that if you Sit by my white piano, I’ll sing you Christmas carols in the bouncy folk pop of “Ribbon on Top.” Adorable.

Den Dery gets nearly atonal with his jazzy euphoria–SHE’s here for Christmas! Puts him in a “Christmas Piano Mood.” I’m in a groovin’ kinda mood listening.

Xmas Instruments: Ocarina

I tried to master the sweet potato at one time, even serenaded Jimmy Hollister on his KEX radio show back in the day. But i was terrible. It only had five holes in its ceramic body, still it was beyond me.

So let’s get goofy! 2 Dudes and a NES folk ballad us with “Link and Zelda’s Loving Christmas Love,” a young man’s early lessons in dealing with the opposite sex. And how to portal through these video games.

Three Sock Nonsense plays le jazz hot to overwhelm my senses with “Soap on a Rope.” The contents of the Xmas stocking we sneak a naughty peek into includes a blue ocarina… but there’s OH so much more. Mercy.

Xmas Instruments: Hurdy-Gurdy

This wild wind-up stringed instrument with a keyboard is the party you did not get invited to.

I’ve been listening to a Sting song about a “Hardy Gurdy Man” from his Christmas album, but it’s not really a Christmas song. It’s a timeless tale of fleeting fame or some such misery.

Ryan Chisefsky’s “Hurdy-Durdy Christmas,” however, is the improvvable song about scatting for the Season. Jazzy. Something else.