Category: world music

We’re limiting ourselves to the fipple flute here, the tin or plastic or wooden toy head-splitter from in the stocking. So, no boats, trains, taxis, or killer winds at this time.

Let’s get all those metaphoric bells and whistles out of way at the outset. Pseudo-country from Shelley Lynch asks us to “Rock it Out This Christmas.” With all the trimmings. No holds barred. To the max. Like that. Sorta.

Tori V.’s “Pink Christmas” notes how bells and whistles are chimed. Cheesy pop with little grasp on reality. All the makings of the best Christmas ever!

Johnny Cash’s sermon “Christmas as I Knew It” portrays himself as whittling a whistle for her brother in the poverty of the holidays. Pretty damn sad. Spoken.

A whistle is just one more li’l toy children might get, as mentioned in “Up on the Rooftop.” But, for novelty’s sake, lets spin Sufjan Stevens’s version–quite a electronic/tribal beat experience.

There are whistles to be blown in SteSy’s “Metalcore Christmas.” Minds, too in this headbanging meltdown.

Tom Hench plucks the untuned strings and lays into the Celtic poverty where the “Whistle Made of Tin” is the best Xmas gift a Da’ could give his young’un.

CRASH! BANG!

Young Kernel request you “(Shake)” like a cymbal for Christmas time. Repetitive, hypnotic, partytime. Not strictly an instrument, but certainly a boisterous music.

Rap relies on some rhymes more than others, cymbal bell may not ring true for our purposes, but Ranna Royce’s rap out “Silent Night (Carol Flow)” is BLUE ALERT violent and threatening enough to earn a spot on the laissez-faire blog.

Pipes’ll get their due, but for scarcity’s sake let Celtic Woman pair the cymbals with the “Christmas Pipes.” It’s all about the party.

It’s time to peek behind the musical curtain and see WHAT makes the novelty. Musical instruments are joyous, annoying, celebratory, and obstruction props for the holidays. Keep in mind: these are songs ABOUT the instruments, not simply instrumentals. (Bells will return to the blog.)

That is never more difficult to winnow down than with the ol’ stomach Steinway. So, sit up straight and attend.

You’re a “Christmas Accordion” according to me, belt out Mount Righteous, in perfectly awkward oompah. So cool.

Dennis Polisky & the Maestro’s Men elevate jug band to the Scandihoovian with “Richie’s Christmas Accordion,” a polka-palooza.

“Accordion for Christmas” is more of a novelty threat from Tom Torriglia. Still polka.

Let’s not neglect “Please Buy Me an Accordion for Hanukkah” by Valerie Sassyfras, a bit more klezmer than polka. And it’s a sweet family memory. Isn’t that better? (Until you listen to it.)

Sea shanty does it for me, so let’s twist an ankle to “Pop’s New Accordion” from Rum Ragged. This is a wish list from the family. It’s serious. So should your listening be.

Still asking the tough questions, Drekka und Vollmar muddy up “Why Do You Still Celebrate Christmas When You Only Believe in Santa Claus?” with filters and features so you’ll zone out rather than figure out the whole blues mishegas.

Michael Scott Dublin (feat. Sinead Murphy) flips the script when asks “The Sad Fairy (Do You Believe In Me?)” with grating showtune vocals. Well, still magic… so the question of faith remains the same. You gonna?

Speaking o’ magic, Cory Goodrich beseeches in pop folk (tiny tots’ gospel) “Please Believe.” She did use the magic word.

The Oakwood Waits raise the rafters with the gospel chorale “I Believe This is Jesus.” Who are you pointing at?

“Go You Believe Inna Christmas” is the funny-voice Q+A parang from Goddy Goddy & Ryan Mark. It goes in circles but hits the ground dancing.

SBG / Grungatronic seems to be using the public announce at K-Mart in their “Looking for Santa Claus.” This jolly experimental number gives up quickly.

The nerve-tingling story of “Jolasveinar” as sung by The Non Traditional recounts the Icelandic tradition of the thirteen Yule Lads who visit children in the nights before Xmas. Grýla will take them away if they misbehave. Our singer does’t misbehave, but his little brother must’ve been peeking because he’s missing the next morning. Moral: more presents! Retro indie pop.

Ella Fitzgerald wants to see Santa Claus in the swingin’ “Good Morning Blues.” See, her bay-he-bee isn’t here; so, Santa needs to send him to her. Not sure Mistuh Whiskuhs needs to be there, but she said that. Big jazz band.

“Mamacita Donde Esta Santa Claus” was a hit novelty Christmas song from the ’50s (we’ve been there), but we have yet to hear the untranslated verzh looking for Santa from Chabelo. It’s a pop paradise for Señor Wences fans everywhere! S’alright! (He rerecorded this several times, including the 1981 disco edition.)

Counting sleeps is like waiting. No one likes that for Xmas!

Numberblocks does the kiddie educational thing with “How Many Sleeps ’til Christmas?” Put those fingers away and just envision sugar plums, hokay?

Close Kicks expands the same kidsong notion with the R+B soul play: “How Many Sleeps ’til Christmas?” Numbers are shouted, but it’s seductive.

The Speks rally ’round the manger for “How Many Sleeps ’til Christmas?“–a Celtic ballad with military leanings that bulls as much as lulls. Shout together now!

Let’s just shout out Yea! Santa! Chimney!

The Haystack Cookies apply hair metal to “Slide On Down That Chimney, Santa!” It’s positively Xmas.

Red Oak Mini Singers choir up the demand: “Down Down Down the Chimney.” Pushy, but it’s churchy pushy. Please don’t die!

Élan Vital turns up prog rock for the party anthem “Down the Chimney.” Everything’s shouted, so IT’S ALL GOOD!!

Cuul Music raps when perhaps he shouldn’t for the surprising “It’s Christmas Time.” See when Santa is in the sky, perhaps the fireplace SHOULDN’T be so bright….

Dave Mansueto (feat. Lord Grunge) garage the parang for “Down De Chimney.” It’s a hands high, hip sway, voices loud good time.