X-Mental: Cry for Help

The first step is admitting you have a problem. No, wait, the first step is rock bottom. No, hang on, the first step is being obviously out of sorts…. Hell, to each his own.

Leading by example, “Sometimes Even Santa Needs a Shrink” is posited by Dr BLT with wily jazz riffs, yet cloaked in confidentiality.

The H.P. Lovecraft Society returns for “All I Want for Solstice is My Sanity“. It’s a ‘Hippo’ rip-off and it’s slavish to the original text.

‘Sleigh Ride’ refig “All I Want For Christmas Is My Mental Health” by Chili A.F. makes little sense, but stays on the beat.

The Stools may be giving up while hollering out “Sanity Ain’t Comin’ This Christmas“, but all punk music is a need for attention.

Asking for peace and love, Aaron Varble folk-pops “Merry Christmas, Sanity“. There’s actual pleading here. Anything like that in your boxes, magi?

“All I Want for Christmas Is My Sanity” is Future_Music’s long laundry list of all the stressors of the holiday. Would a silent night actually help? Harsh pop.

Asking for help Abigail Ory asks “All I Want For Christmas Is Emotional Stability” with adorably bluesy klezmer. Repeat until cured.

X-Mental: Coping Mechanisms

Defend yourself! Against yourself!

Keeping Calm and Carrying On, Helen Arney puts on a brave face in “It’s Going to Be an Awkward Christmas, Darling Part 3“. That’s a tomorrow problem. Pop folk.

“I’m Avoiding Christmas” is jolly folk pop with creepily overenunciated vocals. I got chills, but did learn a thing or two.

I don’t want people to see who I am, bewail Zoe Imperium in the mopey indie pop “I Don’t Wanna Go Home for Christmas“. That’ll solve all your problems, kid!

Don’t try this at home! No Metro’s “Winter Denial” runs outside in shorts and courts retributive frostbite. Sparkly indie.

Infernal Monarch’s “Christmas Freedom from Binge Eating Disorder” seems to celebrate the illness while compartmentalizing it. AI metal that makes you go Hmm.

Speaking of locking it away, Collaborateurs advise you to take your problems and Put in on the “Sleigh“. Catchy R+B with boss backup and sax solo.

“Whimsicles From My Icey Gutters” also has directions for dealing with it. Ages ramps up the rock to overdub the pop.

Christmas as a crutch becomes the point in “Christmas Binge” by Strange Wars. At first, i too thought This is only annual traditions paraded about. Then i listened again. These people are trapped. Harmonious indie.

Opening a dialogue, War Pony Dos begins with an apology in the pop indie “Solstice Solace“. Will a mental healthy relationship follow?

Perhaps achieving stability, Cimrya Deal allows “(I Used To Cry) ‘Round Christmas Time” by allowing joy as well. Positively therapeutic. Syncopated alt rock.

X-Mental: Misc. Complexes

Inferiority Complex? I never had one ’til you got me that present.

I always felt inadequate/For the whole holiday bit admits Magritte & Rosen for their “Favorite Season“. Since there are two of them, they don’t spiral out of control. How nice for them. Indie pop.

“Christmas for Failures” from Surprise Flapjacks also has downs. And Ups. Fainthearted indie froth.

X-Mental: Narcissism

Xmas promotes selfishness and greed, on a merit system purportedly, but still grabby and materialistic. So, look at me, everyone! I’ll tell you all about it!

“Dating a Narcissist at Christmas” is a parody on ‘Beginning to Look’ with some personal details given by Amber Kacherian. Bombastic rationalizations.

The Batman 2287 enters “It’s a Narcissistic Christmas” as a parody on ‘Holly Jolly’. Apparently this guy encounters no end of these selfish a-holes with big elbows.

“Christmas For A Narcissist” is punk pushiness from The Crackhouse Critters seeming to side with the self-obsessed. Privilege rules.

Since Me First is antithetical to the Christmas Spirit, ’tis The Satanic Temple who lampoons ‘Joy to the World’ with “Joy to Ourselves!” It’s all in selfish fun.

Why do you always gotta be the “Christmas Ham“? Make Like Monkeys want to know. Who ordered this center of attention? Retro rock (the good kind).

X-Mental: Misanthropy

Hating everybody is a choice, but it represents a deep-seated douche-baggery that doctors should kick someone in the ass for. Or just everybody gets the boot; they’re all stupid.

Beyond Revelation half-asses the concept, using “Antisocial Christmas” as a catchphrase for a dysfunctional family. This pop easy listening AI doesn’t understand the first thing about Timonism.

When Backslash N asks “Leave Me Alone for Christmas” it’s hardly pathological. Soft country mewling about wanting a small break. Fine.

Also too “Leave Me Alone on Christmas” by Simona Fullinfaw is cheesy pop about some selfish time. I wasn’t going to spend THAT much.

Somewhere on the spectrum Almost Charlie sings “All I Want For Christmas (Is To Be Alone)” in pretty folk. But it’s getting overwhelming. Need. To. Think.

Fiery resentment from SKATERS and Friends makes the punk of “On Christmas Day (why won’t they leave me alone?)” a direct hit on the bad behavior.

The Watchman Music has a go at parody in “Antisocial Christmas Everyone“. It smacks of untalented karaoke, but injects just the right amount of vitriol. BLUE ALERT

Carless indie “All I Want for Christmas (Is to Be Left Alone)” pits The Swaggerlies against humanity. It’s a near thing.

John Tabacco sings that it’s comforting to be all alone… “Or Maybe Not“. Very strange indie.

Sondre Lerche + Jherek Bischoff recognize the need for empathy Yet the plight of others don’t fit in here/At least not now, this time of year–not if you’re into “Surviving Christmas“. Very dramatic indie with a snowman metaphor.

Benjamin Shaw & Fighting Kites draws out the indie “This Christmas (I Just Want to be Left Alone)” until you want to finish his their sentences or just go away.

Dan Hart is balls to the wall in the antic folk “Misanthrope Xmas“. It sounds like fun to hate all, and to all a Go to Hell!

X-Mental: Anxiety

As itch is to agony, angst is to depression. But it’s all troubled waters for our planet these moments. Ride the jitters.

“I Won’t Let Crippling Anxiety Ruin My Christmas!” hollers Ryan Hill over and over for this jazzy indie anthem. Well, my morning affirmations are a little different than that, but–okay.

Glad to relisten to “Ghosts of Christmas” by TV’s Kyle. Anxiety is the haunt in this pop hand-clapper.

SpongeBob SquarePants retro rocks “Christmas Eve Jitters” so you can dance to it. The peepee dance might be most appropriate.

Concave Onion goes for the verisimilitude in “It’s a Wonderful Death“, a metal-edged so-called song about the trials of the holidays. Feels like a growing panic attack.

Lex Friedman celebrates the annual “Tension Headache Christmas” with toy piano noise and percussive kidpop. Migraine, your grain–what’s the diff? Time to drink!

Robbie Toons also transmits a skull busting ‘Carol of the Bells’ take that repeats “Christmas Anxiety” to get you in the mood to droop.

NoMoore’s “Angsty Christmas” is more homegrown, less funny, but all indie mash up (indie into indie).

Dr.Tatsiana Kukla offers advice (in more than one language) for “Christmas Anxiety“. It’s assuring, centering, and whispery indie.

AI to the rescue! “My Anxiety” by Rowdy Beck includes R+B breakdowns and cures. The lyrics are saying Give Up, but the notes are saying What’s Up?

Further AI sets up the symptoms in a light country ballad “Christmas Anxiety Relief Song“. Then via pop psychology tells us It’s OK, You’re Not Alone, Let Healing Begin, blah blah blah.

Whining is not usually a symptom of “Christmas Anxiety“, so when Wyatt HilloBerries makes half rap/half blues moans, i disbelieve in his diagnosis.

GUM! specializes our disability with “Christmas Party Anxiety“. Nice salsa beat to this pop whizzo.

From TV Funhouse comes “Tingles the Christmas Tension“, an easy listening pop reminder to all kids that adults are inappropriate, insensitive, intolerant, and racist. But they hate themselves, so forgive and regret.

X-Mental: Guilt

A psychological state somewhere between fear and anger, guilt is how a boy deals with a stocking full of coal.

Bluffing the Ghosts narrow our focus with “Christmas, Whiskey, & Survivor’s Guilt“. This spilling of the guts in fine folk form alleviates nothing for no one no how. There will be crying.

Ray Stevens cries anti-woke “Christmas Guilt” in some odd, orchestrated showtune (thought he was country). Still, a rednecked rude-off.

Well, it IS a religious tenet. “Catholicity Hokum” confesses John Tabacco is why he feels empty inside. Bluesy indie with a comedic endcap.

And the guilt you feel when you miss a deal/Is the modern Yuletide shame is only one symptom of “The Curse of Christmas Cheer (Fast Christmas)” according to Keltic & Irish. Jiggy Celtic, yes.

They wrapped it up/In guilt and fear is the complaint of BLUE ALERT Hollow Place’s “Fuck Christmas“. Overcompensating!

Sammy J belts out “Christmas Family Guilt (Live)” like it’s the showstopper from Gilbert & Sullivan. Which is why i love it.


X-Mental: Grief

Battling the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross stages around the holidays finds little solace, and almost NO empathy. Stay in the spare bedroom with the guests’ coats, fer gudness sake.

“GRIEF IS THE ONE THING CHRISTMAS CAN’T FIX” insists David Bannon with persistent country rock. I suspect an invitation to join his congregation next.

“Christmas is a Grief Bomb” by Hetty White is a lively frolic through losing… well you pick. Your cat counts. Even Mother Mary saw cross beams in the manger. Christ’ll pick up the tab. (I’m babbling due to shock from listening to this.)

“Christmas Mourning” by Michael Allen Howard shouts out to loved ones in particular. But the chipmunking and kidsong melodies give one pause.

Salem Ilese takes a more morose method with her “Christmas Mourning“. New Age indie ethereality.

“Christmas Mourning” by Loser Company also draws out the notes in order to make this shabby indie into a dirge. Mission accomplished.

“Christmas Mourning” by Gavin Prophet advances to further stages as the garage pop goes rap then back. It’s a bit pissed.

Men and Mountains bestow “The Gift of Grief” with enough garage banging and caterwauling as to make a grown man cry.

The Crocodile Shop really rocks “December Mourning“, but not in a fully cathartic way. More of a party way.

X-Mental: Melancholy

Most often, the holiday ideal of TV advertisements reminds folks without friends and family to regret their independence for the holidays. It’s not a good mood. Solitude is, in fact, a solid subgenre for Xmas music. As is ‘missing you’ songs around the happiest time of the year. Those will get their due. For now, let’s focus on despondency for its own sake.

Chris Daily’s “Melancholy Holiday” strums the indie hard, justifying the Weltschmerz for its own sake.

Bob Malone’s “Sad on Christmas” doesn’t much of how no one else will see, but breathily stumbles over the piano about how sad this sadness is. Sing it, brother.

Busy McCarroll’s “Sad Young Man” also dwells on the bathos. This time, however, the concertina rag time calls in old-timey microphone fuzz as if this were 1922. Fun stuff.

Rod McKuen makes fun of you for crying in the very ’70s “Who Knows Where We’re Going?” It would’ve been about existential angst if he’d studied psychology.

If you’re feeling melancholy/Don’t let Christmas get to you advises uncredited singers on the Daily Reckless album. “Merry Christmas” says suck it up and R+B.

It’s all so mystifying, sings Jamie Cullum about why “Christmas Caught Me Crying“. Apart from the awkward anthropomorphization of the event, this lounge blues resonates.

“Christmas Tears” from Dr. BLT (he’s a real doctor) puddle jumps brokenheartedness without worrying about missing YOU. Straight up folk.


Fighting it, Dusty Strays country folks “Don’t Cry, It’s Christmas Time“. He wants you not to cry for him, Advent even. (Maybe don’t pout, either.)

Also taking the other side The Christmas Cards croon “Why does Christmas make Daddy Cry?” Isn’t that funny? asks this tearjerking folk.

“Everyone Cries at Christmas” by Patrick Canning returns to really bum us the heck out. Psychedlically edged indie pop that shovels on the infelicity.

So, it must be time to revisit “Santa on a Crying Jag” from the most missed Piedmont Songbag group. Jazzy blues, yet What’s So Sad?

X-Mental: Depression, Chronic

There’s no way out for Now Its Art when they hard rock “Depressed for Christmas“. Crying doesn’t help.

Nate Funk goes all in on “All I Get for Christmas Is Depression“. Jazz band ska, so it’s a party. Sigh.

“The Most Depressing Time of the Year” is high octane pop from Crash Test Anthem. Millennial bitching, basically. Aspirin over valium here.

“Winter in My Heart” is that poetic diagnosis that raises red flags. Atomic Neon slurs their indie to make you worry.

You may have been looking for the overserved lounge act, “Most Depressing Time of the Year” where Toiley T. Paper (feat. John B. Dehaas) debate the ups and downs of the partying. Comedy over parody. Ben Coleman also sends up ‘Wonderful’ with far less humor.

“Seasonal Depression (A Christmas Song)” poses John Trent as a Dylanesque troubadour sniping on mental illness. Folk pop condescension.

WE’s “This Blizzard’s Got Me Down” has got them nearly comatose with unhappiness. Snow Day has never been worse than in this indie.

Also with Seasonal Affected Disorder The Night Hobs haul out the violins for “Winter is Here“, the trigger for barely holding on. Indie moodiness.

This life is killing my Christmas soul, sings Little Bear in “Little Bear & The Christmas Soul“. We suffer a hard alt rock pounding as well when atonal chaos ensues.

From Contents Under Pressure’s Christmas musical the floor drops out under “Holiday Despair“. As it is a musical, emotional progress is made. So, not really despair. Just a reversal of plot.