When Sweeney Toad reminisces urban childhood disappointments, it’s a lengthy list of brand names he DIDN’T get, including toy trains. “Toys Nintendo and Food” raps about the need to be good, as well as the bitterness of poverty.
Schnitzel has rolled through town before with the blasting funky honky tonk of “Christmas Tree Train.” Gotta ride it again. Wotta blast!
I just the last several minutes combing through my posted inventory and still can’t believe i have never offered you Bill Anderson’s 1969 classic: “Po’ Folks’ Christmas” (a follow up/parody to his 1962 ‘Po’ Folks‘). It’s gentle country with a tongue in a cheek, like when the kids’re thumblin’ through the new catalog Lookin’ and a wishin’ and a wantin’ everything we saw: Little toy trains and little toy boats and sister kept lookin’ at the little girl’s coats.
Alan Jackson declares “I Only Want You for Christmas” with some fine honky tanking country. He lastly admits (in sotto voce) he HAD a train and a bicycle… but still–
Little dolls and long red trains, golden drums and painted planes seem to mock the smokey voiced Gabriella Rose while she’s missing you in her jazzy torch song “Merry Christmas Little Star.” The decorations are all she’s got in this time of bereft blues. Sultry.
How long ago was the toy train the end all and be all of Christmas gifts?
Someone convinced Johnny Cash (in 1972) to try out some Bing Crosby vibes and thus we have “That Christmassy Feeling.” This sappy country hopes for good will toward all men, holding hands, and my boy wants a little toy train. Why thay’s jus’ middle class fo’k.
Frankie Lymon (1957) points out with childish tenor “It’s Christmas Once Again.” You know, that time of dollies and shiny choo choo trains. Marvelous R+B.
Pink Floyd’s basement tape “The Merry Xmas Song” is (1969) witty noodling of a more classical nature. The list of childish delights here includes dolls and gollywogs and clockwork trains, Trams, tin soldiers and little model planes.
Toy trains at 1:220 actual size. It’s Z because there can’t be anything smaller. Tweezers?
Kc393 gets so INTO decorating the tree (as a tribute to childhood). he doesn’t stop at “Christmas Lights“: Put the star on top, lay the snow village as a prop, Put the train tracks at the bottom… even compares it to Disney World. Serious yet frothy rap.
Jonathan Coulton and John Roderick’s big dis is “Christmas is Interesting.” Jimmy Stewart is drunk, Citizen Kane is depressed, Ebeneezer is waiting, and there’s that train with square wheels. Quiet pop ballideering.
Andrew Durham lays down the slow rock as a dirge over breaking up with you. “Nochebuena” is more mawkish rock than maudlin pop, as it wallows in sentiment like: I wish things could just feel the same Like when Santa got me a Thomas the Tank Engine train. Just right for our kind of Christmas.
In toy trains N Scale is 1:160. That’s not very big.
Sqrrl! chant/sings a laundry list of Christmas symptoms for “Happy Merry Christmas.” Choo choo trains rhymes with candy canes. So it’s in. Kidsong.
Northwest Stories also chants their alt-pop, but it transforms “Christmas Eve” into mythic magic here. All the decorations are on display, And that Christmas train keeps chugging away–I will stay awake.
Krayko Breezy raps out how much he wants to be with his boo in his “Wishlist.” He even want to help her with the tree, put a train down below. But the rhythms have some stuttering impediment that makes me suspicious.
Scale HO for toy trains is 1:87. This is half of the O Scale and is the most popular.
Roger Miller set the standard for Xmas toy train songs with his country lullaby “Old Toy Trains.” This 1967 for his two-year-old son promised the goods but advised Don’t you think it’s time you were in bed?
For toy trains, Scale S is 1:64. So a locomotive is just over a foot long.
Dominic Campisi may not have a recording contract, but he sang a song. So there. “Christmas Time” is the usual laundry list of holiday items. Dolls and toy trains are included. A bit surf rock in the melody, but no instrumentation. F for F-fort.
Little ol’ Brenda Lee lets us in on a strange inhuman experiment. Santa carved a new helper out of a Christmas tree. Rather than name him Pin-snow-cchio, Santa calls him “Christy Christmas.” In her best rockabilly bebop, Ms. Lee relates how all the toys for you (like choo choo trains for boys) are selected by this monster. Chilling.
What seems to be a real train in “Train Goes Around” becomes an elaborate decorated set up in The Christmas Workshop Band’s pattering ditty. Blathering pop.
Scale O for toy trains is 1:48. That means just over an inch for the tracks’ width.
Memories of toys bring Scapeghost to folk pop the song “Christmas is Real.” the myths of childhood: No happier time than planes made of balsa wood, Train tracks laid out on your kitchen floor. Haunting.
The Kind of Christmas You’d Expect is asking around about wishlists, when lo and behold–“I Want a Train” is the self same answer for each. Poppin’ folk pop. Lovin’ it.
Good Trouble wants to be good in order to have “A Very Good Trouble Christmas.” Santa’s been watching, y’know. They don’t want clothes or coal. What they do want isn’t exactly clear–but there’s a train whistle blown.Fun rocking pop.
Trains can be toys, too! And G Scale is 1:24. If you calculate you get an actual train of 100 cars to a model over 200 feet long.
Kiboomers list the toys under the tree with territoriality ‘cuz “Santa Put It There for Me.” To the tune of ‘Knick Knack Paddiwack’ we find a doll, a drum, and a train! Kidsong horror. [JunyTony doubles down on this same song, but it’s all for ONE kid. Easy now….]
So horrible is The Christmas Workshop Band with their “Old Christmas Toy” song. Whistling electronics help the nausea of the uncertain lyrics.
My only recourse is to resort to death metal from Soul Contract. “Up on the Housetop” is nearly unrecognizable from them, including giving young Will a train and lots of tracks and a hammer and a whip that cracks. Then run.
Starting out, Chris Walker takes us on a “Christmas Train” ride that is saccharine enough to keep the children bouncing in their seats.
Wobbling a bit, Proletariats Are Making Pizza Book Club And Rock And Roll Band garage pop their “Christmas Train” about holiday cheer. But the vocal tones creep me out.
Savak brings out a drunken Santa to helm the “Christmas Train.” Dreamy reggae pop that poses the question: Is Christmas a lie? Keep your heads down, kids!
Suffering from sickness, being drafted, and the girl taking a break, The New Omelettes celebrate the “Christmas Train” as much as they are able. Power garage, so not so much with the enjoyment. Cool tune, though.