Property damage can be a felony if motivated by some of that racism stuff i was just trying to get beyond. So only break windows of people you don’t know anything about, kids!
It’s pretty rotten when it happens to you! Elfie of Christmas Workshop Band shares the pain when the “Dog Ate My Christmas Toy.” Experimental pop heavy on the electronics and amateurism.
The “Vandalizing Reindeer” in Flooded Cellar’s folk ballad go after the narrator’s car–with him in it! But it’s parked in the snow, and results only in a three-day standoff. Not so much vehicular damage here.
JINGLE JERKS punk grunge their “Christmastime Unholy Fruitcake Massacre” as a purge night license to unleash holy hell. Some persons may get injured, but i’m more worried about Mr.s Cantmeier’s front yard inflatable camo Santas.
Piedmont Songbag fingers Mr. Feldenstein as hiring the kids to go about Christmas week “Popping the Inflatables” for money. So felonious conspiracy to a lovely Germanic backbeat (and Klezmer finish!).
Dave Goody milks the humor out of folky “Santa Claus is a Racist” with hilarity like the ‘White Christmas’ song proving his thesis. No new ground here.
Luxemburg Trio belts out the anthem “Flip The Table” as a tribute to the Christmas family dinner with older, narrow-minded relatives (Fuck You Uncle Mike) (so, i guess, BLUE ALERT). Taking control back with more bad language. (This song suffers from concept album chatter at the end… go with it.)
Funny story, “A Kickstarter for Christmas” is when Daddy gives all the gift money for the kids to buy a racist hot dog stand. Great bluegrass, but a confusing lower economic social status here from Haschel Cedricson.
“Cultural Appropriation Christmas” goes after First Nationers, Jamaicans, other Latins… uh oh–there’s black face. Cat Named Norris offers an uke-y olive branch to the lesser cultures… It’s not racist if I’m ignorant! You’ve been warned.
Santa gets angry in ninjahedgehog’s BLUE ALERT rap “$anta Clau$.” This silliness is all naughty, no nice.
Surf rock takes the sting out of this vitriol! Make Like Monkeys catch Santa visiting and make him a hostage until he answers the simple question: “What U Got?” High pressure intimidating sitch (with a sorta happy ending).
Moving on from misfortunes and moodiness onto violence means a stop at assault, or the threat of violence. Why so hard, man? does someone need a hug?
By way of James Brown’s abusive ‘Papa Don’t Take No Mess,’ Nikolas Marikos imposes a holiday strongman with his critical eye on you in the super funky “Santa don’t Take No Mess.” does that can of whoop-ass fit in a stocking?
Also bearing the same can, the antagonist in Butt (Amy Froggpockets and Mario Seaweed)’s “Cruisin’ for a Christmastime Bruisin’” offers violence as the answer for the alt hero’s BLUE ALERT intransigence.
Some might say I’m codependent, I don’t care, allows Brinkwater & Hammeta in their light pop “Christmastime’s the Worst“–unless I’m with you. Loving, perhaps, but using the significant other as a human shield for family holiday events is pushing it.
Migratory Animals go so far as to Blah blah blah in their “Happy Christmas to Me.” Well, it could be La la la, but this garage rock takes few prisoners.
For The Putz it was “The Worst Christmas Ever” when you stepped out and didn’t quite return by gift-exchanging time. Pop with a hard rock backbeat.
Toughskins, on the other cheek, figure “It Could be Worse” if you were here for Xmas. Unapologetic garage.