Santaphilic.2

Dolly Parton tones it down and keeps it kid friendly (they sing along) with her (country of course) “I’d Like to Spend Christmas with Santa.”

Melody uses signs to convince us “Santa Santa I Love You.” Either that or she’s having a series of seizures. Kid pop that seems to never end.

Elf Orchestra tunes up the band for “Santa I Love You.” Kidsong that moonlights as R+B torch.

Happy 2B Music uses synth to pretend to be kids who can sing with “I Love Santa.” It’s heartfelt treacle, the kind insulin can address.

Santaphilic.1

It’s time to inject some romance into the snark. Let’s ship Santa and, well… you! Or me. Or someone else.

Perhaps most notoriously, Eartha Kitt owned “Santa Baby” as a (quid pro quo?) love song to Mr. Spendy. She even followed it up with a sequel the next year: “This Year’s Santa Baby” updating the gold-digging. For novelty purposes, i approve of the punk update by The Dirty Panties. But let’s close this squirmy throwback with a modernist view from Miley Cyrus on The Jimmy Kimmel Show. Me too, Santa!

Kylie Minogue stirs pop into the jazz with her extensive list of wants, but “Oh Santa” she really wants a kiss from inside that big beard.

While we’re country, y’all, Angela Watson belts out the family friendly “We Love Santa Claus.” Love CAN be bought!

I AM THE LIST

Retrospect mashes up old carols for the DJ kicker “Santa Says We Have to Go.” Play it for the relatives who stay late.

Hex’s “Shatter Claus” is not the Santa you know. ‘Though he might be like the Santa we heard about on the fourteenth. Nasty rap.

Santa’s Little Lamb” is possibly the WORST Santa we’ve met. If you don’t put the cookies on the plate, all bets are off! Spoken experimental weirdity from h_double.

Santa as Seen on TV” is kneeslapping with a side of irony from The Christmas Jug Band (feat.Tim Eschliman). They haul washboard!

Also, look out b/c “Santa is a Creeper!” Make Like Monkeys retro the rockabilly with warnings about this B&Eer. I’ll violate your habitat! Oh, no!

You Were Expecting Someone Else Down Your Chimney?

Hamell On Trial (aka Edward Hamell) folk strums how “Santa Says (Christmas Pandemic).” BLUE ALERT, he’s done with you!

Psychedelic retro pop from Monkey Grippe posits “Santa Says” as more than just a children’s game. Groovy.

Tom Mason jazzes up the pop with “Santa Says Keep It Cool.” You heard him.

Getting ethnic, Colin Buchanan, Greg Champion play “Ryebuck Santa” as a good ol’ boy from Down Under. The kazoo may undercut her gravitas, but don’t mess wittum.

The Creams play “Santa Says” as a seres of dictums from Ol’ Chubby. He seems to have become radicalized, however. Uh oh. Retro pop.

Who’s the Elf Daddy?

Mush mouthed, “More Balls Than a Christmas Tree” is a bluesy intro to The Gifter from Dead Freedom. More cutely euphemistic than outright outrageous.

TRAP SANTA” from Pineapple Posse is the BLUE ALERT mammajamma you don’t wanna be writing lists to. Rap for the bestial holidays.

That’s No Santa,” that’s just my name, intone Cemetery Gator in this odd pop tell-all. It’s tubular (bells).

Nothing for Santa” is the base complaint from The Resolutions (feat. Emma Rowley). Come on, guys! At least a pair of socks! Band rock that rocks.

Signed, Santa

In “ASS ()F $ANTA” Dumpster Company delivers unto us a comedy of that strike-breaking meanie, who has written Elon for advice.

Dave Sweeney and the Kickin’ Mules soft pops the inner turmoil Santa has superceding The Savior Xmas Day. But one look at that “Empty Sleigh” and he is satisfied with a job well done.

Gary Oak. (not of Pokemon fame) raps with soul about the difficulties and proclivities of being Santa “xmasof95 (xmasof95).” It’s a nearly Blue Xmas.

Twinkle Toes Music has a lugubrious take on ‘Frère Jacques’ with the Q+A “Where is Santa?” The answer will NOT surprise you.

My Pronouns are Saint and Nick

Pinkfong won’t leave us alone with their kidsong. “S-A-N-T-A” is a play on the ‘B-I-N-G-O’ dog song. MY. NAME. IS. Great booming declarations.

Choppy English from illy & HOPI & 채이 wonders about being Santa… But then: Who am I; My name is Santa, continues “X-Mas Massacre.” I could use some help with this pop number.

Surf’s “A Rogue Santa” is spying hard on you, and BLUE ALERT doesn’t like what he sees. Video game rap.

Welcome To The North Pole” has Michael Scott Dublin (feat. Robert O’Connor) voicing old man Kringle as some old boomer with little ‘ris (You should see the penguins run!). It’s a bit pop, a bit cowboy. Strange.

Santa Says

The “Santa Blues” include a loss of faith and not getting left the good beer, according to The Last Dregs. Swinging for the blues.

Skar de Line satirizes the need to worship the holidays (with a solo by Tsar Santa) in “Another Bloody Christmas.” Oi.

Yeehaw from The Oakridge Boys, fiddling up “Santa’s Song.” Now that’s (midcentury) country!

Ironic country from Albert Fishing Trip infuses blues to the down home in “Santa Claus Can Survive.” Earthy stuff.

What’s It Take to be the Claus?

Short and electronically to the point The Death Panels exhort “I’m Santa Claus.” That’s it.

The ever-scary Shylo pops “Feelings on Christmas.” Without going into detail (as pop is loath to do), the admission of being Santa slips.

Dr. Elmo plays a Scrooge in “Santa Ain’t Comin‘.” No more Ho Hos! Pop country so-called comedy.

The Glenn Crytzer Orchestra swings us back to the jolly times “Playing Santa Claus.” Gee I’d love the chance to be Kris Kringle for the day!

Claus Says Hello

See Spot Run thrashes the garage “My Name is Santa” for all to pogo to. Go go pogo go. Ow.

Li’l Ed and The Imperials warns “I’m Your Santa,” so open up yo’ chimney. Blues that won’t take no for an answer..

Ralph Garman bolsters the old Kevin & Bean show with the parody “The Real Slim Santa.” The Blue has been bleeped, but the jolly belly no longer jiggles.

In “Lonely Day at the North Pole” Santa sobs over being left out. Third Earth (feat. Jake Lowe) bull through woeful indie pokiness. Maybe I don’t care–