The last word on The War on Christmas debate comes from Unsinn Quatsch. Don’t be too happy about anything and you won’t offend anyone (not even mimes nor alpacas). So don’t say Merry Christmas. Don’t say Happy Holidays. Instead restrict yourself to the cry “Apathetic Cryptic Epoch”! This helium-voiced pop jingler hits all the right notes by hitting all the wrong ones. (Although there is a cop-out ending.) Thanks, Jason Pitsch!