Category: rockabilly

“Elroy the Christmas Elf” is a country bumpkin, a redneck joke. As sung by Mike Bryant, he seems to be an excuse to noodle endlessly on an electric guitar. Inspired by TV specials, however, Elroy decides to live up to his elvish potential and make some toys. Et voila, joyeaux denouement. (Yeah i don’t get it either.)

Fighting heightism, “Elvin the Tiniest Elf” tries harder than abled bodied show off elves. He saves Santa’s Christmas Day by reading the list after Santa busts his specs. Time to tech up, old man.

While i applaud the intro to the song proper–There’s no classic Elf Song for Christmas, Gee Dee it!–this drivel needs to live and die on a small youtube channel. Infants photoshopped onto elves playing and cuddling is pretty freaky deaky. Connie Prince has too much jolly by a factor of ten creepy twinklies.

Frosting rockabilly with country rock, Rick Diaz howls the story of “The Elvis Elf.” He also helps Santa, turbo style. Now that’s Xmas music, baby.

If you’re worried about drunk driving over the holidays, naturally you’re going to worry about Mr. Gifts himself.

Gallagher’s Twin funs up ‘J. Bells’ with “Santa’s DUI: (A Cautionary Xmas Tale).” Blatting tubas is always a surefire comic addition to everyone’s comedy song (in case you didn’t know). Popsicle stick puppets here. Lots of outro bits.

Alcoholics Anonymous celebrates “Santa Claus DWI” loudly, as a garage band should. Quite the bender set to music.

Country for kids may be the best descriptor for Neptune’s Buffalo. Their “Santa Got a DUI” is a bouncy tonic to a hangover: frothy fun (maybe not subject suitable).

The big hit for Kringle in custody is Sherwin Litton’s “Santa Got a DWI.” This country rocker downplays the criminality for a rollicking second hand con story with killer rockabilly saxophone that treads into doo wop. Everybody now!

Well, truckers do have a sense of being on-road Santas. Only they’re better at it.

Yankee Lee Arnold has fun with the CB lingo craze when yet another trucker helps another broke down Santa in “A Trucker’s Christmas.” Despite the sense of childlike wonder and girl chorusong it smells of exploitation. Doesn’t flick my Bic.

William Weaver, professional driver amateur songman, strums earnestly through his story of “How the Truck Drivers Saved the Christmas Holiday.” Bear up through his first minute of flailing around and you might enjoy this unplugged cowboy poet pluggin’ away.

I guess it’s that sense of superiority that gives us all these songs. Truckers have to be cooler, cannier, tenaciouser than that one-night-a-year deliverer. He could use their help. Trucker Steve whitelines more roadster rock with “The Day Truckers Saved Christmas” complete with over-enthusiastic ho-ing by a band member. Caution: Santa sustains grievous harm during the telling of this tale.

Comfortable with the culture of the truck, are we? Then let’s meet Trucker Santa.

Half country half comedy, nasal folk reciter Grandpa Griffith drives home his point that truckers and Santa have it hard with “Santa was a Trucker.” Bummer denouement (with baby cries), Fairly good road song.

Rob Ervin & The High Strung Lifters country rock “Santa Drives a Truck.” This is a crowd pleasing piece of sing-a-long.

Uh oh, punk crosses into country with Swank out of Vancouver, B.C. “Trucker Santa” has to be heard to be believed, if not deciphered.

Beating out the country tunes by a back roads mile, Erich McMann’s drivin’ rockabilly “Santa Was a Trucker” is simple, hypnotic, and frankly groovy.

Little Joey Farr, i think, is that special brand of kooky kid/amazing voice combo that we saw in the ’50s with Barry Gordy and Brenda Lee. Rockabilly loves that jivin’ jailbait. And i think it’s a her, but the internet has been great at guarding Little Joey’s privacy.

Asking Santa for “A Big White Cadillac for Christmas” for Mama might seem foolish or redneck, but this is probably based on Elvis Presley’s generosity: even by the late ’50s The King was giving away Cadillacs more than Oprah. It’s a significant and swingin’ status symbol, o cool ones and twos.

Let’s put it into second gear, but we ARE gonna pop the clutch on you cats and race doggies.

Perhaps a brief nod to The Beach Boys and “Little St. Nick,” the quality metaphor of Santa’s sleigh as king of the roadster.

So what we need here is that branch of surfer rock that included wild, delinquent young people irresponsibly revving and racing. Exhibit A: The Untamed Youth with “Santa’s Gonna Shut ‘Em Down Now.” To prove how timeless this mode of fast and furious rock is, know that Deke, Steve, Doug, and Joel here are basically a late ’80s punk group that created new music without a whiff of retro-capitalism. You are about to get white line fever.

It’s August here, time for car shows and overheated radiators.

So let’s look under the hood for car carols.

Starting out Hot August Nights, The Brain Setzer Orchestra straycats “Santa’s Got a Hot Rod.” It’s not just a story, it’s a musical journey. Setzer’s choice to over orchestrate his rockabilly cool seems to stretch towards a family friendly demographic with its 1980s CBS Christmas special likability, so i guess this is an inoffensive place to start our dragster dreams of holiday kidfun.

Enough about Santa!

What about US in outer space having a grand old holiday?!

Much as i would love to take you on a tour of the solar system for Christmas on Mars, etc.–i can find no such musical love.

So how about we stay within our own orbit?

Well, UFO Phil is adamant that “There’s No Christmas on the Moon.” This retro ’60s kiddie rock, reveals the conspiracy of NASA to ruin Christmas with Apollo 11.

So to set the record straight, here is Songs for Children (is that the name of the band?) with “Christmas on the Moon.” Wotta youthful imagination!

Glenn Smith gets even more silly with “Christmas on the Moon” with the green cheese and the man in the… Wait–too childish and wildly waifish?

How about one this one: Runaway Symphony with “Christmas on the Moon“? The soft rock with overtones of Celtic lilting throughout gives U2 a run for their science fiction Christmas song money.

Detroit’s The GO tries a pop-rock variation with their “Christmas on the Moon.” Uncle Charlie and all the kids are talkin’ ’bout it.

Ready to moon rock out? Get down and dirty rockabilly with Slick Moss Explosion and “Christmas on the Moon.” Yeah, baby.