Month: August 2026

Roll On: Claire

From the French from the Latin, CLAIRE means clarity. Memorize that if you dare.

Clara is the name of the little girl heroine of ‘The Nutcracker’–as introduced with junitoni’s “Scene 01 The Party“, complete with ballet steps called out (like we’re at a barn dance). Yee en haut.

She’s also mentioned in the summary “Dance of the Gifted Night” by Quincit Peter, It’s AI so i wouldn’t take notes.

Not canon, “See You Again” is Urban Fu$e (feat. KarlaGod & Fee-Z)’s epic fight for Christmas rap. Clara and Santa go for it.

Perhaps ironically, Maddie Q compares herself to Clara dancing in the plea “Why Can’t It Be Christmas?” Modulated pop declaration. Don’t wake her up.

Reference to Black American icon Miss Clara Brown doesn’t help the AI reggae mess of “Tidings (Pop Mix)” by Laury Webb. There’s odd, then there’s OD.

AI kidsong, “Clara’s Christmas Concert” twiddles and twinkles about some little old concert. Blame Shu Chen Hou.

Even less human, “Clara’s Christmas Cookies and the Orange Cat!” tries for heartstrings. But Rhyme Time Surprise’s got another algorithm coming.

Clarice is the name of Rudolph’s squeeze in the Rankin Bass cartoon, so she gets press. Schlocky lounge from AI from Fons & the Chargers “Red-Nosed Romeo” seems to be half a song. Hey-o.

The New Carpenters try on a B-52s kind of sound with “Merry Christmas, Clarice.” It works like all get out.

Sapere Bloom dip into some Sufjan Stevens for their “Rudolph & Clarice“. I likes it.

In “Rudolph the Blood Soaked Reindeer” Roadside Attraction reveal Clarice was her stage name. Real name: Shauna. Reindeer games get lethal.

Tracy C. Mansfield uses AI to express his stuttering love for his wife to be Claire, and the baby/puppy he can’t seem to name (‘Fart’?!?) in “Merry Whatsis!“. Anomic aphasia set to lounge easy listening.

The Norm Bassett Band allies AI to “Jingle Swing“–but it’s infectious. Tommy’s spinning Claire here (and Susie’s there, ignore her). Yeah, swing.

Sometimes i sit back and just enjoy the kooky ride. Za’s Stair seems to load “Holy Claire” with international political intrigue. Can’t quite put my finger on what’s the what. But saving Christmas with her butthole is either a terrific mishearing of the lyrics or a lyric in a dynamite novelty. Hypnotic alt-pop.

Lundy has apparently been sending “Drunk Texts to Santa” about Clara. Santa country sings his AI replies of understanding. Disturbing.

Being left on Christmas Day is bad. Finding out from a “Note on the Fridge” is worse. But then, she jumped in a taxi with Claire. Bluegrass with an actual breakdown by Felix Johansen.

Roll On: Christopher

Christ means King. But CHRISTOPHER means follower of Christ. What’s the deal? Is it because of Santa’s first name??

Is Christ the original Chris? Mute Frank has something to say about that… “Chris Clash” is word jazz about all different names vying to be the Chris. My stars and garters!

Too cool for school, The Tell Alls regale “Christina (Christmas Baby)” with pokey indie humdrummery. It’s her birthday, yay….

A skosh more animated, “Merry Christmas Kristina” by Aymard is tinkly new age indie with some vocalizations of beginning passion.

Misheard lyrics can be humorous. But Shen ongoing, annoyance may arise. “Kristen, Just Be Late” attributed to Brandon Strohl is little girl gusto with shrill hollering of the old Chipmunks novelty. Baby crying bridge! Exhausting.

AI heralds “Oh Christmas Time, Christine“. Shaky Jesse & Peter – Paul Rennenberg make pop music pule.

Rap that isn’t enthusiastic, “Chrissy Christmas” seems positive. Regardless of the goodness of the holidays, MAKCITY has a chip on his shoulder.

Untrained schoolboys Suncidy2 belabor “Chrissy Christmas” into an unfunny in-joke with a kind of rap.

Perhaps getting overhyped, AI makes “Chrissy Christmas” a hero. DJ Popo raps unapologetically, sings uncannily. Chill out.

DONALD O’CONNOR & DEBBIE REYNOLDS take “Chrissy The Christmas Mouse” pretty dang seriously. Big band novelty kidsong from–wait for it–1992.

Baby Birdies use AI to give us the new generations’ verse of kidsong: “Chrissy the Magical Christmas Tree“. Sway along, but don’t parse this Frosty ripoff.

Sloan Brothers get pretty excited about being all grown up when they “Ain’t Goin’ Home This Christmastime“. Then they launch into misty nostalgia about comparing presents with neighbor kid Christopher way back when. Swinging pop.

“Chris Missed Christmas” is overwrought garage from Guinea Worms. You’d swear it was the same two syllables on repeat.

“Chris Mouse” is elementary rap from Papito Nation. Practice session?

Bobs & LoLo addresses the solution with “Chris Moose“. This kidsong suffers from excessive harmonizations, but applies humor in the right places. Dance!

Venetia Family tout “Dinosaur Chris” with equal portions celebration and concern. Bayou pop with some biting.

Anastasia Robieson narrates the adorable story “The Frankenzombie that Stole Christmas“. His name was Chris. He cries. Then problem solves.

“Kris P. (The Christmas Elf)” is big band bananas with Dennis van Aarssen. I love when serious as shift crooners take on the silly kidsong.

“Chris P. Christmas” by Dan Singer Songwriter involved unwanted gifts fed to Paul, the goat. Gonzo pop that doesn’t explain the title to my satisfaction. Oh well: dingle dingle.

“A Chris Piss Christmas” by Squishy Balls also loops the spool with nonsensical melody. Gentle pop for a good time.

Were the ’70s the golden years? “Chris, Chris the Christmas Tree” by Peppermint Kandy Kids attempts to stall the vote for kid songs for the holidays. Soaring vocals, but nonsense for lyrics.

Roll On: Chloe

One of those names with fun diacritics, CHLOE shows as Chloë, Chloé, or Khloe. Something something fertility. Greek Goddess Demeter had this for a nickname.

One of those old childhood chums, Chloe’s coming over when Abby Siler returns to her small hometown in the slow pop “Christmas I’ve Been Missing“.

Sleepyhips has trouble picking between “Erica & Chloe” at Christmas time. They’re both pretty cool. Club indie (watch out for the twist ending).

David Houston delivers with the lite rock tribute “Merry Christmas, Chloe“. Nailed it.

Roll On: Chester

The Latin castro–for camp–was adopted by the Welsh during that invasion a thousand years ago or whatever and became ceaster–also for camp. Or maybe, as CHESTER, a cool guy (leopard?) seen around the camp. Cool.

The Lovelies practice missing notes in their fooling around “Chester Bells“. This might be about a particular church somewhere, but who cares. It’s oddly comforting.

Greyson & Max are interrupted during their ‘nice’ Christmas song by “A Chester Waterbottles Christmas“. Stay hydrated!

Sandra Iris wants to cuddle up in the wintry cold, share an “Eskimo Kiss“, and listen to Chet. (I’ll assume that’s Atkins.) Bilingual pop.

Dear Society shares a voicemail from “Chet” wishing y’all a Merry Christmas and hoping for a job. In “Chet 2” he gets more serious, offering to give up the fiddle for freestyle (audition included).

“Chester the Chubby Elf” was a storybook album for children from 1975. Adam James performs all the voices in this lesson of obesity tolerance for all ages.

JP Cates swindles us with AI lounge loudness in the shape of “Chester the Christmas Squirrel“. He brought nuts.

Perhaps a sequel, “Chester’s Christmas” from Idiot and Indian (feat. Jis4wa & 27thdimensionmusic) rap out the further adventures of this furry friend.

Not much bigger, “Chester the Christmas Gnome” has less fun making his way to the North Pole. The Withers stretch the journey into a kidsong pop epic. Pointless! But that’s why we love it.

Roll On: Cheryl

From the French for dear, CHERYL arrives in many forms.

John T. Wurzer is miserable without you as the holidays approach. Apart from some company, including Sherry who passes our drinks, “Rut Night Before Christmas” signals tears. Indie with a hint of country.

“Merry Christmas Sherry Baby” by David Houston is a rollicking tribute to the memory of the one that got away. Awww.

“Grandma Sherry Christmas” is more AI pop from G-Funk (feat. Kaitlyn Moore) masquerading as heartfelt family hearths. (Ignore the Parental Advisory on this one.)

Ruth Baker tweaks the freq to get an unintelligible rap a la “Cheryl The Mince Pie“. What?

“Bad Sharon” from the office might perk up the holiday office party, according to Robbie Williams’s pop smasher. I believe him.

Dan Bryk’s “Great Adventure” is exactly that. A mature couple from Canada impulsively head into the US for a real holiday revel. Apart from a waitress named Cheryl in the Cracker Barrel it’s a terrible mess. Rocking folk. Wow.

Roll On: Charles

While a variation of Carl, CHARLES has achieved such fame (due to Charlemagne?) it does get its own post.

Not sure if we’re digging into Thomas the Tank Engine, but “Choo Choo Christmas Night” has a scary train named Charles. BabyxGame brings the AI sinister in lieu of pop.

Too loopy to apply to celebrity, “Charles” by Exit 605 summarizes the Peanuts Xmas special with backwards tracks and Stephen Hawking vocals.

From the Rudolph special, “Charlie in the Box ( This Christmas Rocks)” by Charles Lindstrom sets the misfit toy stardom into the heavens. Gospel heights. I am not kidding.

Hold onto your novelty hats! “A Vacuum Is Not a Christmas Gift” is the argument AGAINST Chuck, who argues with Santa for its realization. City Prices goes folk pop all out on this serious as suck song.

“When Christmas was Cancelled” seems to be an history lesson about Oliver Cromwell doing that titular deed and King Charles resisting. There’s pilgrims and Jamestown in there. Holy crow. Daniel J Gaudet blows showtune.

Also skirting the cultural touchstones, “Citizen Kane Christmas” [studio] contrasts money and happiness. Charles Foster Kane may have been a loser especially during the holidays, according to Spyder Darling’s over-enunciated garage. Yet, i’d swap.

“We Are Charlie Kirk” claims to be a Christmas parody using music from a violent video game and touting the Christian virtues of intolerance and vengeance. Your the Best [sic] delivers your isolationist needs.

“What Charlie Wants for Christmas” from Dr. BLT may be in honor of the same martyr, but suggests world peace and freedom of speech as the folk thumping ideals.

Ruining more songs, AI delivers “Charlie’s Christmas Ride” about hitching with Santa. Paul Carafotes takes credit, but it’s mediocre pop at best.

Cassel’s “Charlie Goes Skiing” follows the existential crisis of a young Brit and the experimental rock of his deliverance. Whoa.

Sorry Dude’s “A Very Charlie Christmas” involves more wintery outdoors. But AI jazz rock melts all to slop.

AI dwells a bit oddly on “Charlie’s Christmas Cookies” by Shu Chen Hou. A fun childhood frolic becomes the meaning of life and death in this symphonic work.

Almost palatable, “Charlie & Me (A Christmas Memory)” is AI from New Song New Heart with a recognizable country sorrow to it. (Charlie’s his dog.)

Celtic AI sounds like “When Charlie Saved Christmas“, Steve Kovach’s cat hero adventure. [He fixes the sleigh.]

The alternative might be the lowest common denominator of “Chuckie the Dead-Toothed Drunkard“. BLUE ALERT nasty humor from Cat in a Box. No sin goes unturned.

Funky time! “Charlie Was a Snowman” is a playful screed from Pierre Komen. Melts me. [F’r contrast’s sake try the big band AI of Jazzy Hustle’s “Charlie the Snowman“. Hmmm.] [Or the ‘novelty’ BLUE ALERT AI pop from Fat Elvis & Friends Sing BS. Uh oh.] [Or the hyperactive kids’ version from B2 Kids. Uhhh.] [Then Earl Pep’s AI gospel pop “Charlie Kirk the Snowman” just alienates.]

Neil Sedaka’s “Baby’s First Christmas Lullaby” names Amanda and Charlotte, so i’m not sure which one’s newborn. But it’s gentle pop.

Glove Compartment’s “Christmas Is Ruined” begins at the office Christmas party for a romantic breakup. Then Charlotte from accounting happens by…. Piano rock opera like from the ’80s. Groovy.

Roll On: Carol

Few Latinates are based on a Germanic forbear. CAROL is one. But whether it means citizen or song, the debate rages.

Ed Hill’s “Christmas Carole” is an object of affection. Wordplay here in this rockabilly lite makes it difficult to tell it she’s real.

One naughty “Carol” is Diastro’s heinous bitch. Maybe you‘ll like her in this indie ditty.

House Madame offers shelter from the storm with “Christmas With Carol“, a rambling story from Hoyt Van Tanner. Other exotic dancers are named. but i lost track. Pop country.

Elliott Yamin’s “Christmas Without Carol” toys with a Motown beat, but it’s the lonely kind of blues.

Also bereft, 4 Star View (feat. Rintryp) folk pop “Christmas Worlds Apart” about a Caroline who won’t be home for the holidays.

Curtis Erdek’s “Caroline” is also past tense. This big showtune soars into holiday hopelessness, using memory as a weapon.

In “Uncle Hickory’s General Store” South Sixty-Five set up Billy and Caroline for a happy ever after, moved far from this podunkery and sending cards every Xmas. Road country.

The Existentialists murmur “Caroline’s Christmas” into their pop electric organ sleeves. Possibly bad things happen.

“Christmas Caroline” by Copper Coins also gets carried away with overlapping rhythms. Maybe good feelings now.

“Christmas Caroline” from Umberto S (feat. NIK) swings into experimental pop with a more discernible upbeat triviality. Is the rap part a separate song?

A clumsy joke, “Let Caroline In (It’s Cold Outside)” is easy listening AI from Andrew J. Mair. Doesn’t pass the Turing test.

“Christmas Carol” is both a singer and her song. Dr. BLT confides her case history in an oompah half-country melody that either will put you off or galvanize you into figuring out who he’s really talking about.

Lindi Ortega’s “Christmas Carol” also sings for us, but this country victim has less going for her. Bluegrass misery.

The Oak Ridge Boys’ “Christmas Carol” is a better singer, it seems, but she’s begging with song. She’s poor. I mean, really poor. Barbershop down home country.

Then there’s the orphan. Skip Ewing’s “Christmas Carol” is a little girl turning to a mall Santa for help and heartbreaking. Country easy listening.

Black Camaro applies an island beat to their “Christmas, Carol“. She doesn’t seem as bad, but the world has gotten on her one last nerve. Honestly, i love it.

Roll On: Carl

Languages are tricky. CARL could be peasant, citizen, or husband depending on how old of German you consult. Could be all three, i guess.

Lovebirds “Carl And Mavis” according to Otis Gibbs were cheapskates of a high order, especially around the holidays. Budgeteering blue grass.

In Tim McGraw’s “Beautiful People” ordinary schmoes like Carl (who dress up like St. Nick for sick kids) are given the deep dive so’s we know they’s okay. What passes for country these days.

Likely this is the same Carl in John E. Eagle’s “The Ballad of a Broken Mall Santa“. Just a pinch of honky tonk here helps the country.

Definitely not the same guy as “Uncle Carl” by Aaron LaCombe. This husband has a secret to tell at the family Xmas table. Sorrowful, yet slightly more authentic, country.

With a soft spot for Phineas and Fern, i might include their ensemble “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” as the Major scolds Carl by name for dunkin’ the punch early in it.

John Boy & Billy have a notion that comedy results in odd combos, so they squeeze Karl Childer’s character from ‘Sling Blade’ into A Christmas Carol. “Christmas Karl I“, “II“, and “III” tell the tale. Lowbrow, umm hmmm.

More ‘A Christmas Carol’ comedy from Carla Jiminez, “Carla’s Christmas Message“. Tends to meander while tooting her own horn.

Carla may a bit more take charge than Carl. Seems “Carla Came Home” for Xmas… after murdering her abusive husband. Chris Knight twangs and hollers for even more country.

Spoofing on a ‘Grinch’ song Blayne Powder falsettos “Where Are You Carlyn?” for almost a minute at a time without cracking himself up.

“The Swedish Way to Celebrate” seems to involve watching the seminal holiday classic ‘Sagan om Karl-Bertil Jonssons Julafton’. For the kids. Easy listening from Kerstin Adeström, Ola W Jansson, & Sami Yousri.

Fugli returns with his “Pirate Santa Karl” yarn. Funny folk.

Then it gets dark. Carl Stevens swears vengeance in Angry Johnny And The Killbillies’ “Slaughter In A Winter Wonderland“. Parody in ‘billy. For mature audiences, or somebody with a nasty sense of humor.

In GenjiPenji’s AI metal screecher “All Hans On” the terrorist crew from ‘Die Hard’ are all named like reindeer, but Karl is singled out as the secondary boss. He crazy.

Miloh Ramai promises love “For Christmas“, ‘cuz he can’t afford Karl (as in Lagerfeld). Easy listening prettiness.

Lacy J Dalton’s “Carl the Christmas Dog” is trouble. His antics require a rush to the animal hospital. Perhaps a happy ending (not for the cat). NOT good dog Carl. Folk funnies.

Roll On: Candace

I was surprised to learn CANDACE means Nubian Queen. Rock on.

“Kandy Kane” from Dave & Jeanine introduces us to the problem. The word play is irresistible. But this country doo wop helps us deal with the dad-jokiness.

Bob Cleghorn adds a bit of corridor to dramatize “No Candy This Christmas.” See, she’s behind bars for the holidays. Sad now.

T. J. Murr unleashes full honky tonk to introduce his Xmas born daughter. Not sure which is the first name for his “Pretty Christmas Candy“, but i’ll default to the recognizable.