Month: July 2026

Roll On: Bella

You don’t have to say Ciao, BELLA to know this is a beautiful name.

The Bella All Star Band swing “Have Yourself A Swingin’ Bella Christmas” just right. It’s a frame of mind.

I am fond of fod’s “Bella Dark (Interpolation of ‘Just Like Leaving’ by Bella White)” despite not learning who Bella is, or how the abandoned child from Xmas Eve has to do with that other song–which is in itself pretty dark. Oh well. Folk.

Two time sadder by half, “A Sonnet for Bella McLay on Christmas Day” is a posthumous love letter set to tortured folk pop by The Bird And The Monkey. The love at first citation was eighty years ago, so assuage your tears with a toast to long-lived love. Affective.

Allowing for variations, Javan Johnson unironically sings about a so-called Belle passing through his small town falling for him around the holidays just like a “Hallmark Movie” (Live Acoustic Version). [For ‘brevity’s sake we will skip Southern belles, ma belle charies, and belles of the ball at this juncture.]

“Yodelin’ Belle’s Song” by Sisters of the Silver Sage is one of the least offensive Xmas octave-skippers i’ve encountered. It’s as comforting as a lullaby.Lots of actual bells included.

Not on you if you didn’t readily know, but Xmas trivia includes Scrooge’s old ex-girlfriend as a possible motivator for his stingy ways, name of Belle. Coffin Salesman sings a soft showtune “For Belle, Merry Christmas” in her honor.

“Silver Belle the Christmas Donkey” saves the day for Santa. I have trouble picturing how big an ass is needed to visit all the (Christian) children in one night, yet Patsy Trigg patiently engages in hillbilly kidsong to that end. Bray for Christmas.

Roll On: Barry

Another disputed set of origins. Blond, spear, or barbarian? I see all three as BARRY!

“Barry Christmas and the Happy New Year” by Barry Gammon begins as lively pop naming odd out reindeer. Then the refrain alternates Merry with Barry for Christmas greetings. Okay. Back patted.

“Barry Christmas” by BARRRYYY, on the other ham, is a flimsy excuse to say naughty things. Spearman, indeed.

On the nicer end, Barry has made a song! “Barry Loves You Santa” is such short pop that it’s premature genre.

In a winkity wank, The Harmony Boys sketch out some comedy asking us to “Meet Barry Harmony“. Oh, Barry!

Barry Paranoid and the Tin Foil Hats put us back on the obscenity track with “We Wish You a Barry Xmas“. BLUE ALERT! Punk screaming, but in the spirit.

Colin Buchanan & Greg Champion introduce us to a rude “Barry The Elf“, but keep us somewhat family friendly with this scampish kidsong.

Jeff Green has a jolly “Christmas Spree” with too much food, gifts, and fun. He continually wishes himself, Barry, a good time. So, festive–no regrets. Electro-pop.

Roll On: Barbara

Barbarous, barbarian–they have the same origin as BARBARA. Outsider.

The broken hearted-love song “Crying for Barbara” from Big Sleep realizes her loss right around Christmas. Garage pop.

A merry BLUE ALERT for CKY, “Barbara Jeans Ass (A Christmas Song)” is about sexual insult and demeaning. All for fun! (‘Up on the Housetop’ melody.)

BLUE ALERT some more! Nasty rap from Altoy claiming “All I Want” is multiples of women. Including fake, plastic ones to whom he refers as Barbies.

Perhaps he’s looking for Baby Tate who, as seen in the party that plans to “Light up the Tree“, wants to go as Last name Claus and first name Barbie. Much cleaner rap.

Or perhaps Heidi Montag, who has all the toys to make her look like Barbie. Now, she raps “All I Want For Christmas Is The Club“. Party till you drop rohypnol.

Tori V returns us to pop mush with her “Pink Christmas” and its allusion to her big hit ‘Barbie Girl’. You may develop diabetes here.

Roll On: Ava

Could mean bird, could mean First Woman… AVA is self-contained, short palindromic perfection.

“This Kind of Christmas” by Howlin’ Chip is AI funky country, almost convincing. But it’s confused subject matter about fears and tears and wars and jukes–at least there’s a bartender named Ava.

The protagonist in Davis Smith’s carol isn’t a social butterfly. He attends the Xmas party reluctantly and does NOT fit in. He does notice Ava’s with John (huh). But he’d rather be “Home Alone“. Kick ass pop.

Morris & Rivers’s “Shopping Mall Santa” deals with too many names (oopsie), including Larry (night shift) and Timmy and Hunter (lap sitters), but in this jazz lounge torch burner Ava stands out–asking Big Red for a blowtorch. Burnout’s a’comin’.

Roll On: Aurora

AURORA means dawn, which is already a name. Guess we gots too many people.

NAM VUONG BAO LE, Timothy Pham, DJ BYOUNG throw a little personification on the Aurora with their country/pop/rap “Under the Christmas Canopy“. Lively, yes. AI… hmm?

Michael J Goujon Jr also personifies in “Alaska Christmas Morning, Vol. 16” a proper country pop crooner.

“Aurora” by John McCutcheon finishes up our figurative language. She’s dancing! Great country reel, dance all!

Roll On: Aubrey BLUE ALERT

OF for elf ruler, AUBREY is predominantly for girls. Who can tell with elves?

Naughty “Ali and Aubrey” only got coal for Xmas according to the caterwauling of JR Brumley. It might be pop music, mostly noise.

BLUE ALERT! TAAYLEE G gets especially sexualized for her “Christmas List“. And if she doesn’t get it from you (quick) she might ask Aubrey (Drake). Horny rap.

Roll On: Ashley

ASHLEY is a gender neutral name, meaning it WAS a boy’s name [cf. Gone With the Wind]; now it’s a girls name [like in Full House]. Something to do with trees and grass….

Consider the variant. Asher and Wednesday have been naughty this year, so Calling the Skies relegate them to “Krampusnacht“‘s miseries. Metal, natch.

The Brown Christmas thinks it’s funny to run a 1-900 Xmas sex ad with the title “Hi I’m Ashley“. I think it’s a missed opportunity.

bertramland sneaks in song-as-present with “Merry Christmas Ashley“. Hyperbolic passion, but: Say His Name Out Loud! or it’s not special. R+B beginner level.

Pennies Down has a similar problem with “Merry Christmas To You (Song For Ashley)“. Lots of you in this garage rocker. No names named.

Ashley is one of the family in the shouting match “Big BOOM! Christmas” from A.J. & Big Justice. She wants a puppy. I want earplugs.

Ray Powers fixes our wagon with “Christmas Miracle (Live)“. The unlikely happens to little Ashley, who doesn’t have a pony. When she writes a school essay in an institution that doesn’t separate church and state, she gets a better result than little Ralphie. Hard pop.

Roll On: Arthur

ARTHUR means bear, or stone, or brave. Depends on its etymology. Or the guy you’re talking about.

In “Arthur’s Christmas“, he tries to best Trevor for the affections of Molly. But he’s too nice for her. So, country. ‘Cuz it’s from Gary Country.

Brett Campbell introduces “Arthur the Christmas Cat” like he’s the star of some overhyped sitcom. Pounding pop, yet cuddly.

“Art Song” involves Art, a naked Santa, accused of stealing a Christmas tree by the runners of Bob’s Burgers. For watchers of the show, this is NOT strange.

A filthy BLUE ALERT tirade from Art the Fart, “The Art B4 Christmas Terrifier Style” comes from Prioritize.Ltd records, but haunts us all forever.

One fine Irish holiday morning, the singer and the cousin “Arthur McBride” are propositioned by the British army for conscription. A fight ensues. The spirit of Christmas may not pervade this folk ballad, but that’s the world for you. Cassie and Maggie go the distance on this Old World warning. [Paul Brady sets the vocal sex aright–sounds like a pubescent lad he does.]

Roll On: Arnold

Eagle Power!!! That’s ARNOLD!!!

Panic Moon Productions leans into the fussy connotations of the name with the comedy bit “Arnie Android“, an AI what’s gonna wish you happy… something.

“Arnold’s Christmas” rapped by Lärs (feat. Ragen & Lun) is overlapping muttering about some dark business. I think.

Three Day Threshold & Summer Villains power pops the folk of “Arnie’s Christmas Tree Farm“. It’s a rushed sing along of charm.

Roll On: Archie

ARCHIBALD from High German means truly bold. I mean, toto in yer face.

Not sure what to make of Master Solo’s “The Last Xmas Of Achiebald Sterling“, all 13 seconds of it. But this is an infertile concept,

Desperately, I’ll include “Duck The Hogs (Archie’s Christmas Song)” with neither hide nor hair of Archie himself, as presented by Millwood Ministries of SC. Bit o’ fun.

“Archie the Archaeopteryx” from Kara Kaufman’s Xmas tunes into dino profiles dwells in the precious kidsong pool.

Karl Williams strums and hums “Archibald Elf” with a bit of vim. But this folk kidsong resides in amateur purgatory.